Month: April 2004

You eat too much! You go now!


No carb couple booted from buffet

Sure, this couple is on the atkins diet, but I don’t think you’re supposed to eat an entire cow in one sitting. My favorite quote is from the manager, who defends his eatery by stating (on no uncertain terms) that they have “never claimed to be an all-you-can-eat establishment… our understanding is a buffet is just a style of eating.”

You can bet your sweet ass that these two human trash compactors are flipping through the Attorney section in the yellow pages even as I type. They deserve to be compensated for being denied their 12th slice of roast beef as well as the emotional distress of eating at a restaurant called Chuck O Rama.

Republicrats, Demicans, it’s all the same

I’ve never liked Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander — and it’s not just because my wife and I observed Lamar wandering around the Green Hills Mall parking lot unable to find his vehicle. At the time, I commented to my lovely wife that “if he can’t even find his car in a mall parking lot, how is he going to lead the country…” I was only half joking.

Another reason I’ve always found Lamar hard to stomach is his constant condescension. During one of his failed runs for the Republicrat Presidential Nomination (96, I think), he spent so much time talking down to the voters that I don’t think he ever made one coherent point. Incidentally, this is also one of the many reasons I despise Al Gore – he’s the king of patronizing political drivel.

Now Lamar wants to fight the ban on the taxation of internet access so that the state can have a new avenue of confiscating money from Tennessee internet users.

This type of inconsistency is not new for Lamar – or many other liberal Republicrats for that matter. Much like President Junior, Lamar was for lower taxes when he was campaigning, but he apparently owes favors to the big cable companies, internet providers and telecommunications companies. Every politician has somebody’s hand in their pocket – the interests of the common taxpayer are usually last in line.

Lamar was also for getting rid of the federal department of education in the 80’s – that is, until President Bush (Senior) made him his education czar.

Lamar and other RINOs are embarrassments. Is it any wonder so many conservatives are jumping ship and going Libertarian?

Heaven Forfend!

Elton John says that Fox’s American Idol is racist!

Here’s another little-known secret about American Idol………
it sucks!

American Idol is the kind of abomination that demonstrates to the thinking American public (granted, their numbers are dwindling) how incredibly vapid and formulaic the major-label music industry has become. It’s one of the many reasons that I’m enjoying the industry’s demolition at the hands of downloaders and indie labels.

Anyone who can actually sit through American Idol without vomiting out their nose and mouth, more than likely has the same mental capacity as the average Oprah viewer, and will probably be punching chads for John Kerry in the fall.

I’ve got mail! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! I’ve got mail!

Finally, some viewer mail!

“Hi! Big time fan, first time writer. I’ve been a fan of yours since you first started way back on the 19th. Just wanted to say I LOVE your weblog. So fasinating. (sic) I’m sure you are very busy with writing back to other fans. Keep up the good posts. LOVE’ EM!” – from

I’m flattered! Just keep visiting and I’ll eventually irritate you as well!

Beware of vicious old blind women

On the whole, I have a healthy appreciation for Cops. However, there are a good number of officers who mistakenly choose their career as the result of some deep-rooted psychological disorder.

Here is an example of some mentally deranged officers who found it necessary to use pepper-spray, stun guns and physical force against a 71-year-old blind woman in Portland, Oregon.

I know those old blind women can be wily scrappers, but was this really necessary?

Eli didn’t have to take his ball and go home after all…

Is anyone else out there sick of the Mannings? Living in Big Orange Country means that you’re not allowed to speak ill of Archie, Eli, or most importantly, Prince Peyton. They’re just behind Phillip Fulmer as football’s collective sacred cow in this region.

Here’s an interesting column about Eli & Archie’s antics during this past weekend’s NFL draft, where they basically told San Diego that Eli would sit out a year rather than play for the Chargers.

This is the type of cry-baby grandstanding that could only be pulled off by Manning Football Royalty. The last time the NFL draft was manipulated to this degree was when John Elway whined about possibly being drafted by the Colts back in 1983. At least he had a legitimate Major League Baseball contract to fall back on.

If Eli doesn’t succeed quickly, the New York media will eat him alive. That should prove to be entertaining – unlike Giants football over the last decade.

Here we go again

So, according to Drudge, the US has “postponed plans to mount an attack against insurgents holed up here and instead will attempt to regain control of this violence-wracked city without a full-scale offensive.”

Another link to the story in the Washington Post.

This is allegedly due to their concern “about the repercussions an attack could generate across Iraq and the Arab world.”

This is more idiotic politically-correct strategery that is going to get more and more of our soldiers killed. Lunacy like this has to be stopped if we’re ever going to truly gain control over the Islamofascist insurgency. Here we’ve had a golden opportunity to wipe out more jihadists than we can shake a stick at, and instead, we’re sitting in the sand playing with our own stick.

This is depressing.

I’m so worried about what’s happenin’ today…

So I can’t decide. What will it be this fall? Should I vote for President Junior again — even though he paraded around in 2000 portraying himself as a smaller-government conservative, only to take office and start spending like a drunken sailor? Should I finally vote Libertarian — even though their tendency towards isolationism and open borders makes me uneasy? Should I vote for Lurch? Well, not voting for the Socialist Party Ketchup Kandidate is about the only thing of which I’m certain this time around.

Or, should I simply not vote and go get a whiskey instead?

So my good friend Leo Oshkosh says I shouldn’t vote for President Junior. For what it’s worth, here is his logic:

  • More women died in combat under junior than any other president.
  • Gay marriage is pervasive under Junior.
  • Illegal border crossings are up more than 30% after junior’s loosening of temporary worker rules.
  • Junior and his lead economist Mankiw endorse outsourcing of manufacturing and high-tech jobs.
  • Junior selected his cabinet members based on race: see the cabinet here if you don’t believe me:
    There is one of everything in there….
  • Junior gave seniors free drugs. With Junior around, who needs democracks?
  • Junior did not renew long-term unemployment benefits so that the unemployment rate would look lower than it actually is. In reality, unemployment is 9%. What is interesting about this move is that he had renewed or extended long-term unemployment benefits throughout his entire term…..until this year.
  • The deficit is higher than at any time during the Clinton administration. Even though Junior no longer drinks, he spends like a drunken fool.

He adds that a Lurch victory guarantees two things: First, Hitlery Clinton will never be elected President – age will catch up by 2012; and Republicrats will control the House and Senate – that is where the power is anyway.

He makes some interesting points, but some of his assumptions are, as usual, absurd. Let’s take them one at a time:

  • It’s not Junior’s fault that more women have (allegedly) died under combat than under previous administrations. It was the Clintonistas who turned the military into a politically-correct social experiment and have effectively castrated it. This is why we’re unwilling to use the iron fist in Iraq and do what needs to be done to crush the insurgent Islamofascists.
  • It’s also not Junior’s fault that the Gay marriage thing is taking off now. It would be happening under any Republicrat administration – and possibly even under a Socialist Gore administration. However, the odds of them acting up under Gore are less, I would think.
  • True. Junior must have some type of love affair going on with Vicente Fox, because he seems determined to open the borders and put the entire nation of Mexico on Social Security. Shameful.
  • Also True. The Republicrats love cheap labor – whether outsourced to other countries or illegals using leafblowers.
  • Exaggerated perhaps, but Junior has shown to be very politically correct in his domestic operations. I don’t understand why the Socialists haven’t praised him for this. I guess when Condi left the reservation, she made the blacklist. (Pun intended)
  • The Medicare deal was another embarrassment. Junior should be run out on a rail on this one alone.
  • I haven’t paid much attention to unemployment numbers since they’re all massaged until the administration likes the results. It’s happened under every administration. You may be right, but the topic bores me. Next.
  • Junior’s spending has been horrific. He has been anything but a fiscal conservative. I never thought I’d say this, but I long for the days of Clinton’s reasonable domestic spending policies. I got nauseous just typing that.

As for Lurch being a better choice, I still can’t agree with that. Leo will have to do more work convincing me on that one.

Well, hell. That whiskey is looking better and better and better.

Which button do you mash to make this thing work??!?

I have to apologize to all the people not reading this blog because I’m spending more time getting it up and running than anything else. I think I’ve finally figured out the archives thing, so now I need to figure out how to let people make comments and what-not. The kind people at Blogger don’t yet have a built-in comments system, so I’ll have to employ some third-party solution. In the meantime, you can send me messages at preston_at_thisdomain_dot_com. If they’re interesting enough, I’ll just post ’em up here myself.

Now I’ve got to go take the shrinky-dinks out of the oven.

Meanwhile, government’s nose grows and grows and goes where its nose shouldn’t go…

Here’s another case of idiotic governmental regulation.

When it comes to porn, I enjoy mine filthy and condom-free. Porn is an escape from reality – much like the mainstream cinema. A big part of enjoying movies (or to a lesser extent, television) is the fact that you get to escape your everyday tedium for a couple of hours while you lose yourself in suspension of disbelief and special effects wizardry.

If you’re a porn actor/actress/fluffer/best boy, you’re taking a calculated risk, with or without condoms. One would assume that you would weigh the risks versus the benefits (i.e. pay) and decide whether or not the gamble is worth it. This is private enterprise at its core and it’s none of government’s business who does and does not use condoms.

Unfortunately, I seem to be in the minority these days when it comes to personal responsibility. People are responsible for their decisions – whether they’re smoking cigarettes or smoking pole – and it is not the duty of government to protect them from themselves.

The “Seminal” Entry

Oh no, another white male has a blog! The world will never be the same. Wait… I guess it will be exactly the same. Anyway, let me start by reminding you, gentle reader, that, at least in my case, this is a place for venting, ranting and rambling – and little else. It may evolve into something more, but don’t count on it.

Terms of Use

By visiting Six Meat Buffet, you are agreeing to these terms of service.

Six Meat Buffet is NOT a news site – it is simply a weblog (or Blog for short). You may ask yourself, “what the hell is a blog?”

Salon.Com has a pretty good definition: “A blog, or weblog, is a personal Web site updated frequently with links, commentary and anything else you like. New items go on top and older items flow down the page. Blogs can be political journals and/or personal diaries; they can focus on one narrow subject or range across a universe of topics. The blog form is unique to the Web — and highly addictive.”

There are political blogs, personal blogs, topic-specific blogs, hobby blogs, anything you can think of.

Six Meat Buffet is primarily a political/current events blog (with some occasional satire/entertainment/sports news and opinion thrown in) and the opinions expressed herein are those of its owner, Preston Taylor Holmes. Additionally, because Preston resides in the glorious state of Tennessee, there will be the occasional item which may only be of interest to fellow Tennesseans. If you are offended by, or disagree with the opinions of Mr. Holmes, you can feel free to e-mail Mr. Holmes at and engage in spirited debate. Your other option is to simply go away and don’t come back. It really doesn’t matter to us.

Likewise, if comments are enabled, the opinions expressed in the comments sections are those of the folks posting the comments, and not of Six Meat Buffet. Objectionable/idiotic/useless comments may be deleted at the whim of Preston Taylor Holmes.

As previously mentioned, this is NOT a news site – it is a guide to news/events on and off the web, peppered with heaping helpings of personal opinion – and quite frequently, a good deal of vitriol. By visiting this website, you are confirming that you understand the opinion-based nature of Six Meat Buffet and that there is no “fairness doctrine” that guarantees that dissenting opinions are heard — in other words, Six Meat Buffet is a totalitarian dictatorship and “that’s the way it f***ing is!” (to quote Paul Anka…) Additionally, this website occasionally uses colorful language, which may not be appropriate for children, and you shouldn’t let your kids out on the web unsupervised anyway, so pay attention to what they’re doing for God’s sake.

So now that you’ve confirmed that you understand all of this, go back to Six Meat Buffet.

Contact Us

Preston Taylor Holmes:
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The Cranky Neocon

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