Month: October 2004

Happy Halloween

A safe and happy Halloween to all you freaks. Before you gorge yourself on a deadly mix of candy and alcohol, do something good. Rob over at Say Anything has requested that folks pitch in and help support free mammograms to assist with breast cancer screenings. It’s a good cause and it will exercise your clicker, so go here and click a few times to help fund free mammograms. Do something good with your clicker instead of surfing porn all day.

Rob has also linked to one of my favorite spooky stories of all time, The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe. Happy freakin’ Halloween.


Well, all the trick-or-treaters have gone home to gorge themselves, but I took a picture of the best costume of the night:


Here are our outstandingly carved pumpkins:

And I’ll leave you with this exchange with some snot-nosed punk trick-or-treaters.

ME: So who the hell are you supposed to be?
KID IN PISTONS JERSEY AND AFRO: I’m so-and-so Wallace of the Detroit Pistons
ME: Do you get in as much trouble as he does? Doesn’t he spend his weekends in jail?
OTHER KID: Hey, what NBA star isn’t in jail?
ME: Nice. Happy Halloween, you bastards.

Osama bin Laden is full of shit

By now, I’m sure everyone has seen Osama’s new rock video – produced by MTV in conjunction with Al Jizziera – and it’s fairly obvious that he’s been busy reading the Arabic-translated versions of Atrios and Daily Kos. Drudge has a transcript:

OBL: You American people, my speech to you is the best way to avoid another conflict about the war and its reasons and results. I am telling you security is an important pillar of human life. And free people don’t let go of their security contrary to Bush’s claims that we hate freedom. He should tell us why we didn’t hit Sweden for instance.

I wish they would have hit Sweden. What a bunch of bastards they are.

But we fought you because we are free people, we don’t sleep on our oppression. We want to regain the freedom of our Muslim nation as you spill our security, we spill your security.

When I think of personal freedom, the first thing that comes to mind for me is a muslim theocracy. Take a gander over yonder at the freedom women in Saudi Arabia and Qatar have – they’re allowed to remove their burkas for a whole 15 minutes a day!

Thankfully, Osama, the camel fucker, is willing to share with us the reasons why we should be slaughtered.

I will be honest with you on the moment when the decision was taken to understand. We never thought of hitting the towers. But after we were so fed up, and we saw the oppression of the American Israeli coalition on our people in Palestine and Lebanon, it came to my mind and the incidents that really touched me directly goes back to 1982 and the following incidents. When the US permitted the Israelis to invade Lebanon with the assistance of the 6th fleet. In these hard moments, it occurred to me so many meanings I cant explain but it resulted in a general feeling of rejecting oppression and gave me a hard determination to punish the oppressors. While I was looking at the destroyed towers in Lebanon, it came to my mind to punish the oppressor the same way and destroy towers in the US to get a taste of what they tasted, and quit killing our children and women.

Yes, those damned Jews had the nerve to defend themselves against attacks from failed arab nation after failed arab nation. In every instance, those filthy Jews kicked ass and showed great restraint in not annihilating the whole of Egypt, Syria and Jordan – not to mention Iraq during the first Gulf War.

But I digress, Osama was busy scolding me for oppressing the poor Palestinians.

OBL: We didn’t find difficulty dealing with Bush and his administration due to the similarity of his regime and the regims in our countries. Whish half of them are ruled by military and the other half by sons of kings and presidents and our experience with them is long. Both parties are arrogant and stubborn and the greediness and taking money without right and that similarity appeared during the visits of Bush to the region while people from our side were impressed by the US and hoped that these visits would influence our countries. Here he is being influenced by these regimes, Royal and military. And was feeling jealous they were staying for decades in power stealing the nations finances without anybody overseeing them. So he transferred the oppression of freedom and tyranny to his son and they call it th e Patriot Law to fight terrorism. He was bright in putting his sons as governors in states and he didn’t forget to transfer his experience from the rulers of our region to Florida to falsify elections to benefit from it in critical times.

Osama is regurgitating the DNC’s conspiracy theories, just in time for the election. Well done! I can just picture Osama sitting in a puddle of his own filth, in his dirty nightshirt, watching Fahrenheit 9/11 over and over and over again on his Betamax.

OBL: We agreed with Mohamed Atta, god bless him, to execute the whole operation in 20 minutes. Before Bush and his administration would pay attention and we never thought that the high commander of the US armies would leave 50 thousand of his citizens in both towers to face the horrors by themselves when they most needed him because it seemed to distract his attention from listening to the girl telling him about her goat butting was more important than paying attention to airplanes butting the towers which gave us three times the time to execute the operation thank god.

He really has been watching Fahrenheit 9/11 over and over! I knew Michael Moore was aiding and abetting the enemy, but this is approaching collusion! Johnny Walker Red has an outstanding post today regarding Michael bin Moore – he is also incredulous at bin Laden’s lack of creativity and use of DNC talking points in his latest video.

So how can we avoid more attacks from the likes of Bin Laden?

OBL: Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or Al Qaeda. Your security is in your hands. Each state that doenst mess with our security has automatically secured their security.

So, if we bend over and take it long and hard like the cowards in Spain, everything will be alright. Luckily, Osama, that’s not how we operate, and you’re time will come. In the meantime, the rest of your associates will continue to be reduced to greasy stains in the desert – this is the only way to actually reduce the threat.

Osama’s assurance sure sounds a lot like the hijackers when they told the passengers, “sit down and be quiet and everything will be ok.”

While Kerry’s position will be to simply sit down and be quiet, the majority of Americans are better represented by the brave passengers of Flight 93, and Osama may have inadvertently given quite a lift to the Bush campaign in the campaign’s closing weekend.

While some Americans have joined you, Osama, most of us haven’t forgotten you and we will take great pleasure in watching the dogs pick at your eviscerated remains when your day comes.

Another October surprise?

The International House of Jawas is reporting some new Swift Vets news is set to come out at some point this afternoon or this weekend. Sounds like it could be more bad news for Lurch & his boy wonder – we’ll have to wait and see.



That’s the Jawa’s message in response to the Bin Laden tape this afternoon. It’s a fantastic post – no time to get into the details because I’m on my way to see TEAM AMERICA (F— Yeah!) but go read it now. Six Meat Buffet joins Rusty in demanding that Al Jizziera be wiped off the face of the earth.

The Rubik’s Cube of terror

Federal agents come down hard on Oregon toy merchant in terror-related clampdown.

ST. HELENS, Ore. – So far as she knows, Pufferbelly Toys owner Stephanie Cox hasn’t been passing any state secrets to sinister foreign governments, or violating obscure clauses in the Patriot Act.

So she was taken aback by a mysterious phone call from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to her small store in this quiet Columbia River town just north of Portland.

Her crime? Selling the terror-inspired copyright-infringing Magic Cube – an obvious knockoff of the 80’s favorite Rubik’s Cube.

When the two agents arrived at the store, the lead agent asked Cox whether she carried a toy called the Magic Cube, which he said was an illegal copy of the Rubik’s Cube, one of the most popular toys of all time.

He told her to remove the Magic Cube from her shelves, and he watched to make sure she complied.

How does all this relate to the War on Terror?

Virginia Kice, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, said agents went to Pufferbelly based on a trademark infringement complaint filed in the agency’s intellectual property rights center in Washington, D.C.

“One of the things that our agency’s responsible for doing is protecting the integrity of the economy and our nation’s financial systems and obviously trademark infringement does have significant economic implications,” she said.

Is this a good use of Homeland Security resources? I suppose that’s in the eye of the beholder.

Six weeks after her brush with Homeland Security, Cox told The Oregonian she is still bewildered by the experience.

“Aren’t there any terrorists out there?” she said.

Good question, Stephanie.

FYI, neither of these cubes should be confused with the People’s Cube.

IRS taking a hard look at NAACP race-baiter Julian Bond

The IRS is looking into a speech by NAACP Chairman Julian Bond that may have violated federal laws regarding tax-exempt organizations and political activism.

WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service is investigating whether a speech by NAACP Chairman Julian Bond last summer that criticized the Bush administration violated a federal law that prohibits tax-exempt charitable organizations from engaging in most forms of political activity.

Bond said he felt the probe was politically motivated and meant to have a chilling effect on the NAACP, in particular its efforts to register black voters, who support Sen. John Kerry overwhelmingly.

Bond is wrong, IRS Commissioner Mark Everson said.

“The IRS follows strict procedures involving the selection of tax-exempt organizations for audit and resolution of any complaints about such groups,” Everson said. “Career civil servants, not political appointees, make these decisions in a fair, impartial manner.”

In a letter outlining the alleged violations, the IRS cited a federal law that prohibits tax-exempt charitable organizations “from intervening in any political campaign on behalf of or in opposition to any candidate for public office.”

This is a nice start, but it’s more than likely a case of too little too late. Lurch, John Boy and Bubba have been bouncing from black church to black church – all of whom I’m sure enjoy tax-exempt status – vomiting their race-baiting anti-Republican rhetoric without any consequence. The IRS should be investigating these churches and their leaders as well.

While “independent” groups are visiting churches as undercover agents making sure that right-leaning churches’ sermons are politics-free, charlatans like Jesse Jackson and [enter leftist race-baiting politician here] continue to get away with murder.

Colin Powell, shut your yap!

Colin Powell warns Israel not to use force against Iran.

(Via al Jizziera)

Secretary of State Colin Powell warned Israel on Wednesday that diplomacy and not force is the best way to deal with Iran’s nuclear program.

Powell said that he had no information on rumors that Israel might launch pre-emptive strikes on Iranian nuclear reactors.

He said that “there was a lot of speculation and horror stories and other stories about what this might lead to in the way of crisis and part of that speculation is that the Israelis might do something or not do something.”

“I have no information on that,” Powell said.

If Israel decides to go and annihilate Iran’s nuclear program by whatever means they deem necessary – we should send them flowers, not get in their damn way.

Please tell me that Colin will be gone during the second Bush term.

Blog breakfast

First of all, I must wish the lovely Mrs. Holmes a happy anniversary. I love you! Thanks for tolerating me all these years.

The big story this morning – via Right on Red – continues to be Russia’s involvement in the moving of weapons before the U.S. invasion of Iraq in March of 2003. JWR was on this last night when Drudge broke the story, and while I’m not shocked by Russia’s involvement, I am surprised by the depth of their involvement with Hussein right up to the end.

Russian special forces troops moved many of Saddam Hussein’s weapons and related goods out of Iraq and into Syria in the weeks before the March 2003 U.S. military operation, The Washington Times has learned.

John A. Shaw, the deputy undersecretary of defense for international technology security, said in an interview that he believes the Russian troops, working with Iraqi intelligence, “almost certainly” removed the high-explosive material that went missing from the Al-Qaqaa facility, south of Baghdad.

“The Russians brought in, just before the war got started, a whole series of military units,” Mr. Shaw said. “Their main job was to shred all evidence of any of the contractual arrangements they had with the Iraqis. The others were transportation units.”

JWR obtained an exclusive interview with a fly on the wall at Karl Rove’s Republican Death Star HQ that is worth reading. Is Rove really this brilliant, or is it more catastrophic stupidity on the part of the Lurch camp?

LGF has news about another weapons cache that you should know about. And you won’t be too surprised that Kerry’s home country of France is in on the coverup. (via Jawa Central)

Meanwhile, out in space…

There are more eclipse photos here, if you’re interested. It was pretty spectacular from our vantage point.

Elsewhere, in a Palestinian hellhole, Arafat appears to be on his deathbed. Some rocket scientist over there realized that perhaps Palestinian doctors weren’t going to be very effective in helping ol’ Yassir, so they’ve hauled in some Jordanian medics to help out. I hope it’s not a quick expiration for Arafat – it needs to be a long, drawn-out, very painful road to an eternal dirt nap.

Well, better get to work. Hopefully Blogger will function properly today – I’m not counting on it, though.

Damn you, Blogger.

I spent far too much time today trying to get Blogger to function, which resulted in the flinging of expletives around the office and the gnashing of teeth. As a result, I’m planning on making some changes around this place. I’ll keep you posted, so you won’t be caught off guard and have a damn stroke.

In other news, I’m about to dust off the old Canon SLR camera and see if I can get a shot or two of the lunar eclipse that’s about to take place. There’s much to blog about, but I’m fed up with it tonight. Go watch the eclipse.


Dizzy Girl (she has the best blog design going right now) is currently eclipse blogging. Photos and all. Pay her a visit.

Arafat soon to meet his maker?

Yasser Arafat, international terrorist and glorified icon of the United Nations, collapsed Wednesday, and is apparently in seriously ill health.

Arafat was eating soup during a meeting with Qureia, Abbas and another official between 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. (2 p.m. or 3 p.m. EDT) when he vomited, according to a bodyguard who was in the compound at the time.

The 75-year-old Arafat was brought to the clinic inside the compound, where he collapsed and was unconscious for about 10 minutes, the guard said. His doctors were urgently summoned.

On news that Arafat’s health was worsening, scores of top Palestinian officials descended on the sandbagged, partially demolished Ramallah compound where he has been confined for 2 1/2 years. The officials milled around the courtyard, waiting for news outside Arafat’s three-story building, bathed in spotlights.

I hope this is the beginning of the end for Arafat. He should have been pushing up daisies years ago at the hands of the Israeli government.

The streets will run with blood, but don’t sweat it

According to Drudge, ABC News is holding (back?) a new terror warning tape.



In the last week before the election, ABCNEWS is holding a videotaped message from a purported al Qaeda terrorist warning of a new attack on America, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

The terrorist claims on tape the next attack will dwarf 9/11. “The streets will run with blood,” and “America will mourn in silence” because they will be unable to count the number of the dead. Further claims: America has brought this on itself for electing George Bush who has made war on Islam by destroying the Taliban and making war on Al Qaeda.

ABCNEWS strongly denies holding the tape back from broadcast over political concerns during the last days of the election.

The CIA is analyzing the tape, a top federal source tells the DRUDGE REPORT.

ABCNEWS obtained the tape from a source in Waziristan, Pakistan over the weekend, sources tells DRUDGE.

“We have been working 24 hours a day trying to authenticate [the tape],” a senior ABCNEWS source said Wednesday morning.

The terrorist’s face is concealed by a head dress, and he speaks in an American accent, making it difficult to identify the individual.

A top goverment source tells DRUDGE, US intelligence officials believe the man on tape may be Adam Gadhan – aka Adam Pearlman, a southern California native who was highlighted by the FBI in May as an individual most likely to be involved in or have knowledge of the next al Qaeda attacks.

According to the FBI, Gadahn, 25, attended al-Qaida training camps and served as an al-Qaida translator.

The disturbing tape runs an hour — the man simply identifies himself as ‘Assam the American.’


Michelle Malkin has more information on Adam Gadahn, the turncoat and star of the video.

The last Wictory Wednesday has come

Well, there’s not much left to do but vote. I early voted last Thursday. See, here in the great freedom-loving state of Tennessee, you can do that. There is more info on early voting in your area here.

If you know any morons who are still on the fence and you can convince them to vote Bush/Cheney, get them to the polling place. Drag their worthless asses down there. Otherwise, encourage the Kerry-leaning voters you know to stay home. It might be raining out there, plus their vote is probably wasted in [Enter State Here], according to the polls.

Here are your Wictory Wednesday bloggers…

Can consertive be this stupid?

I couldn’t let this comment die in the archives. Here is the original post from way back in August: Leftists Recoil at 9/11 Images.

The comment is from Lenny. I don’t quite know what the hell he was talking about, but it looks as if it could qualify as performance art – it is included without modification.

Your in a street braul with a bunch of your buddies. Some guy with a bat bashes in one of your friends head. You and your buddies surround him and are just about to pounce on him (lets call him Osama Bin Laden). When some other firend shows up (lets cal him George Bush). Says hey everybody lets go over here and beatup these guys because they are ass holes too. You and your buddies turn and start fighting with these other ass holes. Now who’s fault is it if the guy that you had just sorrounded comes back with the bat comes back and clobbers you on the back of the head?

Can consertive be this stupid?

Maybe someone else can explain what he’s talking about.

October surprise falls flat on its face

I’m a little late to the party here, but when I first heard this story yesterday, I didn’t think much of it. However, when I heard this morning that the story first broke in April of 2003, it took on a completely different complexion.

The short version is that the Old Media shockingly reported yesterday that 380 tons of conventional explosives where missing from an ammo dump near Baghdad. One critical oversight was that they left out the details of when these explosives went missing.

The story was a rehashing of an April 2003 story about how the explosives were removed before we ever got to Baghdad. This new version of the story has been on hold until they could generate some new angle (in this case, a phony letter from the United Nations) to re-report the story, just before the election, and with just enough ambiguity to make the story appear to be “breaking news”.

The implication here is that Bush’s leadership of the war resulted in severe incompetence because he didn’t safeguard weapons that weren’t there, which is exactly how Lurch framed it on the campaign trail yesterday.

Now Drudge is reporting that the NY Times, CBS and the LA Times were colluding about how best to break this story and help the Lurch/John Boy campaign.


News of missing explosives in Iraq — first reported in April 2003 — was being resurrected for a 60 MINUTES election eve broadcast designed to knock the Bush administration into a crisis mode.

Jeff Fager, executive producer of the Sunday edition of 60 MINUTES, said in a statement that “our plan was to run the story on October 31, but it became clear that it wouldn’t hold…”

Elizabeth Jensen at the LOS ANGELES TIMES details on Tuesday how CBS NEWS and 60 MINUTES lost the story [which repackaged previously reported information on a large cache of explosives missing in Iraq, first published and broadcast in 2003].

The story instead debuted in the NYT. The paper slugged the story about missing explosives from April 2003 as “exclusive.”

An NBCNEWS crew embedded with troops moved in to secure the Al-Qaqaa weapons facility on April 10, 2003, one day after the liberation of Iraq.

According to NBCNEWS, the explosives were already missing when the American troops arrived.

It is not clear who exactly shopped an election eve repackaging of the missing explosives story.

The LA TIMES claims: The source on the story first went to 60 MINUTES but also expressed interest in working with the NY TIMES… “The tip was received last Wednesday.”

CBSNEWS’ plan to unleash the story just 24 hours before election day had one senior Bush official outraged.

“Darn, I wanted to see the forged documents to show how this was somehow covered up,” the Bush source, who asked not to be named, mocked, recalling last months CBS airing of fraudulent Bush national guard letters.

It’s nice to see the Old Media getting caught red-handed this election season. This is the kind of media collusion, bias and fraud that has been foisted upon the public for decades – and it’s becoming clear that they can’t get away with this shit anymore.

The Old Media still tries to masquerade as an unbiased watchdog – what they are is an old, diseased dog that needs to be taken to the vet and put to sleep.

Plenty of folks are already on this case:

Right on Red – NBC vs. NYT; KE04 SOL
Say Anything – The Iraq explosives non-story
Protein Wisdom – Oh no you di-ent
Ace – The New York Times and CBSNews: House Propaganda Organs of the DNC
Backcountry Conservative – Missing explosives facts
Wizbang – Explosives vanish into thin air
In the Bullpen – Tons of explosives missing in Iraq
The Captain – 380 tons of explosives missing – but when?
Jawa Central – Al Qaqaa in Perspective

Bubba returns to save the day for W

With only a week to go until Election Day, America’s first black president returned to the political stage yesterday to help his party’s zombie-candidate Lurch. This is not good news for Lurch.

The Old Media is touting this as the second coming of Christ, but anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of recent history knows that Bubba has risen from the dead to sink Lurch’s ship on Hillary’s behalf. They were laying it on thick in Philly yesterday:

In a blizzard of confetti and a storm of cheers, Bill Clinton walked back onto the political stage in Philadelphia yesterday to tell Americans that good times will return if they give John Kerry his old job.

“From time to time I’ve been called the Comeback Kid,” Clinton said. “In eight days, John Kerry is going to make America the comeback country.”

Brilliant. It was truly a rock-star like scene as the drooling crowd tossed bras, panties and boxer shorts at the candidate and his impeached sidekick.

He was greeted with a roar from nearly 20,000 people passed through security into Philadelphia’s aptly named Love Park. Many thousands more – as many as 80,000, according to the fire marshal – packed the surrounding streets straining for a glimpse of Clinton and Kerry.

Clinton spoke with less vigor than usual and looked drawn – and was about 12 pounds lighter, according to aides – but he could not hide his joy at getting back into harness after being laid up for seven weeks following the surgery.

“If this isn’t good for my heart, I don’t know what is,” Clinton said, looking out on the sea of faces.

Bubba reminded them that he alone was responsible for their employment.

“In Pennsylvania alone, you’ve lost 70,000 jobs, as compared with the 219,000 you gained by this time when that last fellow was President – me,” Clinton said.

He also made sure to remind the crowd that he is far wealthier than they are.

He slammed Bush for giving tax cuts to “upper-income people like me” and running up the debt, “leaving the burden of the deficit for my tax cut on the children of this country.”

On the surface, this simply looks like an impeached ex-president rising from the ash heap of historical shame to help boost the candidacy of a wayward son. However, the Marxist Hag Hillary wants the decks cleared in 2008, which is why Bubba has appeared to Dukakize Lurch’s candidacy.

If you’ll think back to the mid-term elections during Bubba’s first term – after the failure of HillaryCare™ and the implementation of one of the largest tax hike in history – everywhere Bubba tried to help out a candidate, they went down in flames. This resulted in the GOP gaining control of the House for the first time in decades.

This pattern continued in 1998 and 2000 – wherever Bubba went, candidates went down (in some cases, the candidates had their interns go down on their behalf).

If you’ll recall, the relationship between Bubba and Al Gore was always tense – never moreso than during the 2000 election. One has to wonder whether or not that friction came from Gore wanting to keep Bubba the hell away from his campaign, or whether Gore was begging Bubba for help and Bubba refused. Only John Edwards’ hairdresser knows for sure.

In my opinion, Bubba’s resurrection seals the deal for a Bush win. We’ll know soon enough whether I’m right or wrong.

A blog quickie

Due to circumstances beyond my control (i.e. work, no internet connectivity, real life), blogging has been light over the weekend and this morning. However, here are a few quick items of note before I head back into the damned conference room to deal with mountains of nitwittery.

First, I’ve changed my e-mail address – it is now preston-at-sixmeatbuffet-dot-com. I’ll still be using the g-mail account (sixmeat-at-gmail-dot-com) when I need to, but the new e-mail address will be the best to use if you feel the need to yell at me.

Next, Elizabeth Edwards says that she will call off her planned race riots if we will all vote for Lurch and her ambulance-chasing husband. Too bad I’ve already voted or I would take her advice and switch sides.

Also, LaShawn Barber has returned from a brief hiatus. Don’t leave us again, LaShawn. Some of us clanging cymbals need a blog-conscience.

Johnny Walker Red has gotten fisked for the first time. I hope he’s okay.

The Jawa Report notes that more terrorists are endorsing Kerry. At least they know which side has their best interests at heart.

There’s so much more out there, but this little brownshirt has to get back to work. More to come…


The lovely Mrs. Holmes has just asked me “what the hell is fisking?” Samizdata has a good definition:


verb. To deconstruct an article on a point by point basis in a highly critical manner. Derived from the name of journalist Robert Fisk, a frequent target of such critical articles in the blogosphere (qv).

Usage: “Orrin Judd did a severe fisking of an idiotic article in the New York Times today…”

I tend to do too much fisking probably. Although fisking Michael Moore’s pep-talk last month was particularly fun. Easy target though.