Month: December 2004

Kwanzaa is almost over!

Kwanzaa is almost over – don’t miss out on your last chance to hate whitey in 2004!

With the end of the year already upon us, so comes the end of the miraculous holiday of Kwanzaa. You know the one – where we celebrate the centuries-old tradition of — oh wait, I forget – Kwanzaa wasn’t invented until that brutally insane racist Ron Karenga made it up in a chemically-induced haze at UCLA in 1966.

I had been pondering a massive Kwanzaa post, but just this week the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson penned a column – Kwanzaa, the Racist Holiday from Hell – that did all the work for me. So why re-invent the wheel?


Thanks, France

Speaking of stingy, how much has France donated to relief efforts?

100,000 Euros. That’s about $135,000 (roughly).

Thanks a bunch, France. You can now go back to surrendering, eating cheese and plowing each other in the dumper. As usual, we’ll do the work for you. Assholes.


Speaking of the French, my home-slice Derek sent me this joke a while back, might as well use it now.

Four surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on:

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered,” The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded,” The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

But the fourth surgeon, Dr. Morris Fishbein, shuts them all up when he observes: “The French are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass are interchangeable.”

Politicizing disaster

The panty-wastes at the U.N. and in the Old Media have managed to turn the deaths of more than 60,000 people into yet another tool for attacking America and President Junior.

I suppose this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Throughout 2004, the Old Media has taken even the most trivial news story and found a way to use it to prove that Bush is Hitler, Republicans are Fascists and America is an evil imperialist empire. I should have predicted that the biggest news story of the year (not the election, the tsunamis) would be used in the same fashion.


Entertainment Nuggets

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Liza Minnelli fell out of bed today and hit her head on the floor. Speculation is running rampant that she was actually tossed from the bed during a particularly vigorous love-making session with Michael Jackson, Elton John and a Cocker Spaniel, but so far none of the other parties have come forward to claim responsibility. There is no word on whether the blow to the head caused Minnelli to regain her sanity.

Elsewhere, Susan Sontag, legendary writer and celebrated whitey-hater, died today at age 71. Sadly, Susan didn’t live to enjoy the next terrorist attack on the United States, that bastion of evil and home to so many of the white race, that “cancer of human history.” How mutedly ironic that she succumbed to cancer herself. Perhaps she brought it on herself by unintentionally being white, or even as a consequence of her specific alliances and actions.

Last, but not least, George Carlin, in news that shocks absolutely no one, is headed to rehab. Mrs. Holmes asked me just this evening why the hell this is news… and I don’t have an answer. Hell, Carlin was probably doing hits of acid as he narrated stories about Thomas the Tank Engine and friends. He’s the quintessential drugged-out hippie and it’s part of his schtick – why bother with rehab? It’s only going to hurt ticket sales. Only a handful of people want to actually see Carlin perform these days, and even fewer want to see him perform sober.

44,000 dead? 50,000 dead? 55,000 dead?

I haven’t gotten much of a chance to follow any news story – much less the massive tsunami story out of Southeast Asia. Now reports are that the death toll is 44,000 and rising – this is the kind of number that is pretty impossible to wrap your mind around.

Survivor stories like these keep popping up – providing a moment’s glimpse into the horror.

Foreign survivors who were swept up in the torrential waters triggered by the 9.0 earthquake that struck southern Asia desperately sought missing relatives on Tuesday — particularly in Thailand, where bodies littered the once crowded beach resorts.

A blond 2-year-old Swedish boy, Hannes Bergstroem, found sitting alone on a road in Thailand and taken to a hospital was reunited with his uncle, who saw the boy’s picture on the hospital’s Web site.

“This is a miracle, the biggest thing that could happen,â€? said the uncle, who identified himself as Jim…

“It was like a scene from the apocalypse. There was litter everywhere — motorcycles, cars and dead bodies. I saw many dead babies on the beach,� said Pascale Panuel, a French woman living in Tokyo.

As helicopters hovered overhead and large ferries and small speedboats arrived to evacuate stunned tourists and villagers, rescuers combed through the rubble of what were once bungalows, bars, Internet cafes and dive shops.

I can’t even picture what such a scene must be like, but Yahoo has a photo gallery for you, as well as some amateur video of a tsunami hitting the shore here at their main news coverage page for the earthquake/tsunami. You should definitely watch the video if you want to see the full force of such a wave.

Things are still so chaotic that they’re having trouble organizing all the help that keeps pouring in.

For the most immediate needs, hundreds of relief planes packed with emergency goods were due to arrive in the region from about two dozen countries within the next 48 hours.

But authorities waited in trepidation for the outbreak of diseases caused by polluted drinking water and the sheer scale of thousands of putrefying bodies, lying in mud or being washed onto beaches.

The U.N.’s Egeland said there could be epidemics of intestinal and lung infections unless health systems in the stricken countries got help.

A top World Health Organization expert, David Nabarro said there was “certainly a chance that we could have as many dying from communicable diseases as from the tsunami.”

Of course, nothing the United States does is good enough for U.N. official Jan Egeland, who referred to U.S. aid as “stingy.” Ben Johnson at FrontPageMag.Com debunks that claptrap with his column this morning, America: The Great Santa. Go and read it as a reminder of how altruistic we truly are as a nation – and we are anything but stingy.

Fox News has a collection of resources on how you can help with disaster relief. These people will need our help and prayers for years to come.


(Via Beth) There is a new blog up – The South-East Asia Earthquake and Tsunami (The SEA-EAT blog for short. News and information about resources, aid, donations and volunteer efforts.) – for those of you who want to stay informed and try to help out with the recovery.

Take that, christmas tree

Well, I guess I should have said that regular blogging would begin on Tuesday, not yesterday. Anyway, we had a much better, ice-free drive home yesterday and immediately chucked the dead christmas tree out into the back yard. Mrs. Holmes was kind enough to take all the ornaments off first.

Unfortunately, it’s back to work today. On the bright side, that does mean I’ll get plugged into the news of the world again and back to blogging. I’m sure both of you have missed me.

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas/New Year’s holiday season thus far.

Merry Kwanzzzzzza and other stories

The break is just about over and we head for home tomorrow. Luckily, the ice and snow has melted so all we’ll have to deal with are the normal idiots clogging I-40. Regular blogging duties will resume tomorrow.

Two quick football notes, one good and one bad. The good: Peyton Manning broke the all-time single-season touchdown record against San Diego today – throwing two touchdown passes in a come-from-behind victory. The bad: Former Vol Reggie White is dead from a massive heart attack. It seems like just yesterday I was a 10-year-old kid watching him demolish opposing offensive backfields. RIP, Reggie.

Light/Ice Blogging

Well, after an 11-hour drive that’s only supposed to take 6, we finally made it. At least we didn’t get stranded on the interstate like a lot of other people, so we’re lucky.

Blogging will be light – especially since little Sally’s crib is set up in the computer room and she’s always napping.

I hope everyone out there is safe & sound this Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas to all of our friends – blogosphere and real-world alike. Go and read the Llamabutchers’ Christmas card – it echoes my sentiments exactly.

Will sports-related violence never end?

Rudolph suspended for the season after trying to gore fans at this year’s reindeer games.

Dec. 21 – The recent epidemic of sports violence spread to the North Pole this week as a brawl erupted between fans and reindeer at this year’s reindeer games, resulting in the ejection and suspension of Rudolph for the remainder of the season.

“Given how polluted the fans are, it’s amazing that something like this didn’t happen sooner,” said Harlan McDougal, a fan who makes the trip from Pittsburgh every year to see the reindeer play.

Rudolph, under fire this season for taking time off to promote a new rap CD he produced, was the object of the fans’ ire from early in the first period.

“Fans were shouting at him,” McDougal said. “I didn’t hear everything they said, but they were not shouting out with glee.”

(h/t Todd)

10 Killed, up to 50 wounded in Mosul Rocket Attack

(via Fox News Alert)

At least 10 people killed and 50 possibly wounded in a rocket attack on a U.S. base in Mosul.

MOSUL, Iraq — A rocket struck a dining facility at a U.S. military base near the northern city of Mosul, FOX News confirmed Tuesday.

Senior Pentagon officials told FOX News’ Bret Baier that at least 10 people are dead and at least 50 people have been wounded. Sources said a combination of U.S. forces, Iraqi forces and U.S. contractors were at the military facility. The cause of the explosion, which happened at 12 noon local time, was under investigation.

The U.S. Army’s Task Force Olympia is based in this predominantly Sunni Muslim city.

Obviously horrible breaking news.


Death toll is now up to 22. This is another example of why our service men and women need all of our constant prayers and support.


First reports from the scene of the attack came from an embedded Richmond (VA) Times-Dispatch reporter.

Redmon offered this eyewitness account: “The force of the explosions knocked soldiers off their feet and out of their seats. A fireball enveloped the top of the tent, and pellet-sized shrapnel sprayed into the men.

“Amid the screaming and thick smoke that followed, quick-thinking soldiers turned their lunch tables upside down, placed the wounded on them and gently carried them into the parking lot.� Soldiers shouted frantically for medics.

“Near the front entrance to the chow hall, troops tended a soldier with a gaping head wound. Within minutes, they zipped him into a black body bag. Three more bodies were in the parking lot then. …

“Sgt. Evan Byler, of the 276th, steadied himself on one of the concrete bomb shelters.

“He was eating chicken tenders and macaroni when the bomb hit. The blast knocked him out of his chair. When the smoke cleared, Byler took off his shirt and wrapped it around a seriously wounded soldier.

This and That

Sorry for the light posting lately. Real life has been quite busy. Both Preston Jr. and Sally have been under the weather resulting in doctors appointments and billions of dollars worth of prescriptions. Well, that may be an exaggeration. I can’t wait until the government pays for my family’s prescriptions just like it does for those old handout-generation coots.


Red State Outrage!

(via Michelle Malkin)

Also saw this story on Drudge this morning – SNL does yet another unfunny skit, this time mocking us Red Staters as well as Rush Limbaugh – and as is customary, conservatives are outraged!

First things first – a few thoughts about SNL. That show has absolutely sucked hard since the mid 90’s. The only thing that made it remotely worth watching after that period was Wil Ferrell, who is just funny no matter what he does. Don’t know why. Just one of those people.

The rare times I’ve watched that show over the past several years, the show has been embarrassingly horrible. You know the kind of embarrassment – like when one of your friends is singing karaoke and is so bad that you’re in pain watching them go down in flames? There’s no other way to put it – the show just absolutely sucks.

However, the Robert Smigel bits are the only funny part of the show now-a-days. I don’t know if he’s a bed-wetting leftist or not. Having watched a ton of TV Funhouse and to a lesser degree, Insult the Comic Dog, Smigel’s attacks have always seemed to me to be pretty even-handed.

You can download & watch the controversial cartoon in question here. (That is until this guy takes down the link)

In this case, conservatives are simply over-reacting. The cartoon is actually pretty funny – certainly not hilarious – but pretty good. While it does take a cheap shot at Rush Limbaugh, which he should be used to by now, it spends a lot more time ripping the blue-state-leftist mentality personified by a liberal Santa and the usual suspects – Al Franken, Moby, Natalie Merchant, etc. In my opinion, the cartoon wound up defending us red-staters, though in a very subtle way.

On a side note, Lorne Michaels and the rest of the SNL bureaucracy have to be bursting at the seams with glee because someone is finally talking about their shitty show. Hell, switch over to Fox. As bad as Mad TV is at times, it’s still a lot funnier than SNL.

Fetus Baby found alive

When I saw this story earlier today on Drudge, I thought about blogging about it, but it made me nauseous so I just tried to block it out of my mind.

Odds are, if you’re here, you already know about it. The short version is that a woman in Missouri, who was 8 months pregnant, was strangled to death. After which, the murderer(s) proceeded to cut the baby fetus out of the murdered woman’s belly. Good news has emerged, however…