GOP = Gaggle of Phonies

Here are just a few of the reasons the G.O.P. will never actually find a monetary contribution in the envelopes I keep sending back from their mass mailings. Since they’re the party of the rich, I figure the postage I’m costing them will hardly make a dent. (Warning: extended rant ahead)


First, we have the theocratic moralist wing of the party, as represented by Wisconsin Rep. James Sensenbrenner. This jackass wants criminal charges to be filed against violators of FCC broadcasting indecency laws.

SAN FRANCISCO (Hollywood Reporter) – The chairman of one of the entertainment industry’s most important congressional committees says he wants to take the enforcement of broadcast decency standards into the realm of criminal prosecution.

Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner III, R-Wis., told cable industry executives attending the National Cable & Telecommunications Assn. conference here on Monday that criminal prosecution would be a more efficient way to enforce the indecency regulations.

“I’d prefer using the criminal process rather than the regulatory process,” Sensenbrenner told the executives.

And all this is in addition to the absurd new fines put in place by Michael Powell and his cronies after Nipplegate. If you drooling legislative dimwits knew how to write effective legislation, you wouldn’t have to threaten putting people in the naughty-word gulag and make excuses like this:

The current system — in which the FCC fines a licensee for violating the regulations — casts too wide a net, he said, trapping those who are attempting to reign in smut on TV and those who are not.

“People who are in flagrant disregard should face a criminal process rather than a regulator process,” Sensenbrenner said. “That is the way to go. Aim the cannon specifically at the people committing the offenses, rather than the blunderbuss approach that gets the good actors.”

Knee-jerk zero tolerance is always easier than actual critical thought isn’t it? It’s been highly effective in the government schools. Incidentally, they’ve already got a cell waiting for Goldstein.

Next, you have the The Minuteman Project.

I’m not taking a dump on the Minutemen – I think what they’re doing is outstanding and long overdue. However, if President Junior and other leaders in the GOP gave a shit about stopping illegal immigration, The Minutemen wouldn’t feel obligated to go to Arizona and patrol the borders themselves. To make matters worse, the President took his tongue out of Vicente Fox’s dumper long enough to call the Minutemen “vigilantes”.

Two weeks ago, President Bush, who supports a guest worker program that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States, called the Minutemen “vigilantes.”

“I am against vigilantes in the United States of America; I am for enforcing law in rational ways,” Bush said during a press briefing with Mexican President Vicente Fox and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin.

Some who say they are protecting the border take exception to Bush’s characterization.

“I was really disturbed that we were called ‘vigilantes’ by our president. We really don’t feel that way, and that’s not our statement and that’s not who we are,” said another Minuteman.

The President should be ashamed of himself for mischaracterizing the Minutemen – they’re doing the work that Junior doesn’ t have the political stones to do.

Both major parties are absolutely useless when it comes to illegal immigration. I expect that from the Dim-O-Cracks. More illegals means more Donk voters. However, I expect a hell of a lot more from President Junior and the GOP – especially since they’ve droned on so much about homeland security. Securing the homeland starts at the fucking border, Junior, and just because you know a few sentences in Spanish, tongue-kiss Vicente Fox and want to keep that cheap Mexican labor flowing in, doesn’t mean you have the right to compromise homeland security for the rest of us.

Incidentally, if anyone out there knows how to get in touch with a representative from the Minutemen, I’d love one of these t-shirts. I’ll pay top dollar. Top American dollar.

The next reason is GOP leadership – particularly GOP Senators and President Junior himself. Let’s start with the two limp-wristed Senators from my beloved home state – Bill Frist and Lamar Alexander.

On second thought, let’s skip Alexander. He’s not worth it and I’ve already spent too much time bitching about him.

Frist, however, is another animal. I knew he was going to be a RINO as soon as I saw him parading around with Bill Clinton back in the late 90’s whining about the “digital divide.” The digital divide is that imaginary gap between the technological haves and have-nots – because it’s government’s job to provide everyone with high-speed internet access so that they can download porn in the comfort of their own home. Again, I digress.

I suppose we can put aside his long-distance medical diagnoses during the recent Schiavo case (you may remember, when the GOP got heavily involved, then backed out when the polls indicated that it was a political lose-lose situation…). Then I suppose we can put aside the fact that he changed his mind on that as well.

Now he’s dragging his feet on putting his boot down on the throats of minority senate Dim-O-Cracks in getting President Junior’s judicial nominees through confirmations. Why would anyone expect Frist to grow a spine now, when he’s been acting like the minority leader ever since the GOP got the majority. Is the Senate GOP that scared of the Old Media, or are they all secretly terrified that John McCain is finally going to open fire on them at the next Senate BBQ? The GOP majority in the senate is nothing but a bunch of pussies, pure and simple.

Next let’s look at Tom Delay. When he was asked the other day “What three big-ticket items would you personally like to see the government get out of the business of doing?,” he responded “Well, I’m not sure I want to go there.” Yeah, that’s today’s GOP – actually cutting government? DON’T GO THERE!

Lastly, there’s President Junior himself. He who brought us the prescription drug entitlement for seniors. He who brought us a mammoth department of homeland security instead of gutting and restructuring the FBI and CIA. He who federalized airport screeners to make sure that 70 year-old white women were searched instead of young middle-eastern men.

He who continues to trot out Bubba Clinton every time he gets an opportunity. In fact, I fully expect to see Clinton and Bush Sr. at every celebrity funeral and tornado wreckage site as the Spring wears on. Apparently, they have little else to do.

I voted for Bush in 2000 because I didn’t want a tree-humping socialist (Gore) in office. I voted for Bush in 2004 because I didn’t want a faux-French one-world turncoat pacifist in office. In 2004, I knew damn well I was voting for a big-government Republican, but he is still our best shot to win the War on Terror – that is the ONLY reason he got my vote.

Does this mean I support Captain’s Quarters’ “Not One Dime” campaign? Well, I haven’t given the GOP – local or national – a damn dime since 2000, so I guess the answer is yes. Apparently the Rottweiler feels much the same way. Beth, however, disagrees.

I do not, however, support Hugh “Blog” Hewitt’s pledge to support Donks who oppose these pseudo-conservative GOP politicians. What Attitude Problem says that Hewitt is stepping in something squishy and brown here and he’s right. When I abandon the GOP, it’s not because I’m going to support a fucking Dim-O-Crack. If anything I’ll move to the Libertarian party, or simply not vote.

Until the GOP grows a set and starts acting like the fucking majority – and more importantly, like the small-government conservatives they claim to be, they don’t deserve a damn dime of our money.

UPDATE:

RELATED: Dick Morris: Frist’s Folly on Illegals

UPDATE 2:

Democrats = BAD, Republicans = GOOD.

UPDATE 3:

ALSO RELATED: The Commissar examines another party rift – hilarious!

6 comments on “GOP = Gaggle of Phonies

  1. You’ve been listening to Savage again, haven’t you. 🙂 He’s been really pissed off these past few weeks, hasn’t he? I understand why.

    I agree, man. I don’t know why the GOP seems to have the wind out of the sails since the election. It’s frustrating. And it’s only giving the Democruds encouragement. We need the days of the “Contract with America” back again.

  2. 6H, I like Savage, but I haven’t listened to him lately. He’s been preaching the same type of thing for years now, though. The GOP is WEAK and everybody knows it. We constantly bend over for the Donks and have nothing to show for it but a massive infection.

    It’s more likely that the post-Newt GOP is so scared of the negative press that the “contract with America” got that their spines have melted away. We need to go back to Newt-style slashing of the federal government.

  3. When I abandon the GOP, it’s not because I’m going to support a fucking Dim-O-Crack.

    Not to piss on your rant, but when you abandon the GOP you ARE supporting the Dim-o-cracks. See also: Nader, Perot, Jeffords, etc., etc.

    Remember, it’s a big fuckin’ tent, and if you leave it, you’re handing it over to those who piss you off the most. Face it–the two-party system isn’t going anywhere in our lifetimes; do you want it to end up a choice between moonbats and a Republican party that doesn’t represent you at all?

    Just sayin’. You’re right to rant, but we who rant have to work within “the system” to effect any change in it.

  4. BTW, put on your tinfoil hat and venture over to the lefty side of the blogosphere. They’re rubbing their hands with glee over our discontent. Make no mistake–they WILL use it against us.

  5. Both parties are at fault. I find it disgusting that people feel they must stick to their political party without questioning anything and just going along for the ride. Time to hold the Dems and Repubs for their corrupt and underhanded dealings and not looking out for the average legal American citizen.

  6. If anything I’d put on my tinfoil hat and go to the further-righty-side of the sphere, rather than the left.

    Why support a party structure that says one thing and does another? They can still change their ways and regain the support of independent conservatives like me, but they’ve got a lot of splainin’ to do.

    I’m not going to financially support any party that will not AT THE VERY LEAST close our borders and stop the flow of illegals into this country.

    It’s hard to work from within the “system” when the system itself is shit. Much like the Donks, the GOP counts on blind loyalty – it’s time they got a fucking wakeup call.

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