Impeach Wilder

Tennessee’s senile Lt. Governor John Wilder said a special prayer today on the floor of the State Senate on behalf of his arrested comrades:

“Money was being offered as bait to put somebody in jail,” Wilder said in prayer to God. “That’s wrong, and that’s not Your way.”

Who would have known that the doddering old fool has a hotline to the Almighty? While he’s at it, he might want to pray for a lick of common sense. Also, by the way, John, you may want to check into the ten commandments… I think there’s something about stealing and bearing false witness in there, not that such a thing would matter to you folks in the state legislature.

Four sitting lawmakers, one former senator, a lobbyist and a low-level politico have been indicted and accused of extortion conspiracy and accepting bribes. They were busted after the FBI formed a fake company to seek state recycling contracts and paid bribes for legislation to favor the company.

Wilder called the operation persecution.

“Three members of our family are in hell,” he said from the well of the Senate. “Why? Because they’re legislators.”

No, John, you incompetent fool, it’s because they took bribes.

For those of you unfamiliar with Tennessee politics, Wilder has been disconnected from reality for at least a decade now – and the gap between Wilder’s atrophied brain and the world around him grows wider day after day.

I’d like to personally thank Knoxville’s own Tim Burchett for helping to keep Wilder in his prime position of political power as Lt. Governor. Without Burchett’s complete lack of testicular fortitude, we might have actually been able to send Wilder to the back of the Senate so that he could sleep the sessions away – which is really all he’s qualified to do at this point in his “career”.

I’m so proud of my state legislators this week – not just the ones who got arrested – but the entire group of limpwristed cretins who have been either complicit in similar offenses or afraid to rock the boat while knowing full well that there were shenanigans afoot. I hope at least half our state government is breakin’ rocks in the hot sun a year from now. Then we might actually be able to start over with some actual representative government instead of a bunch of halfwitted jackasses selling their votes like garage sale scrap.

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