Jose Raul Pena: The National Organization of Hags’ Reproductive Rights Superstar of the Year!
Pena won the award for the brave, constitutionally-protected late-term abortion he committed earlier this week, using his 10th-trimester fetus as a human shield as he shot randomly at police and neighbors in a Los Angeles neighborhood. Several drunken onlookers reported hearing Pena shout something about exercising his “right to choose,” or maybe it was his “right to shoot.” Either way, Pena’s brave stand for reproductive rights has earned him a coveted distinction from the National Organization of Hags – albeit posthumous.
This is the first time the National Organization of Hags has awarded the coveted prize to a father, though a few candidates have come close in the past. As a NOH spokeswoman said earlier this week, “you have to do more than kick your pregnant wife in the stomach to take home this trophy!”
Pena, who tragically passed away in the middle of exercising his right-to-choose, was unavailable for comment.
Katie Couric, NBC Television talking-head and Andrea Yates supporter, was also unavailable for comment as she was allegedly preparing a fundraiser for another potential Reproductive Rights Superstar, Indiana woman Carissa Marie Roraus, who murdered her newborn and stuffed it in a rest stop trash can on her way through Tennessee this week, exercising her own constitutionally-protected right-to-choose.
This will make the second year in a row that the award’s honoree has been unable to appear to collect the trophy. The 2004 award winner, Dena Schlosser, who cut off her 11-month-old baby’s arms in her crib after she realized that she’d forgotten to do so in utero, was unavailable due to her incarceration following her admission of guilt in the case. Much as she was oppressed by her duties as a mother, she is now oppressed by a patriarchal criminal justice system that continues to strip her of her most basic human rights.
When reached for comment regarding this year’s award, Russell Yates, faithful husband of past award winner Andrea Yates, was quoted as saying “I love my wife.”
There is no word yet when the actual trophy presentation will take place, but we’ll keep you posted.