Month: August 2005

The Return of Johnny Walker Red

It takes a disaster of Biblical proportions to get me out of blogging-retirement, but here I am. Thanks to Preston for allowing me to use his space here. Some other time I might explain my absence to those who care to hear it, but in the meantime, I have had some thoughts on Katrina. (This may have been said elsewhere a hundred times already, but I wouldn’t know; I got rid of cable eight months ago and get my news in five minute bursts these days.)


Public Service Announcement

If you’re in the Knoxville area, it would be advisable to go ahead and fill up your vehicle. I have received word from a reliable source that things will be getting worse before they get better – particularly for the East Tennessee area – in regards to gas prices and supplies.


Driving home tonight (10:30 ET), average gas price going through west Knoxville was $3.09. Mrs. Holmes paid $2.59 just this morning. You can’t convince me that no gouging is going on.

WTW: Kill Whitey

Feelin’ guilty? Guilty of bein’ white? I know how you feel. Sometimes I’ll get up in the morning, look in the mirror and remember I’m nothin’ but a white-bread cracker-ass cracker. Then I throw up in the sink.

Luckily, I’ve found a few ways to cope. First, I’ve been attending Kill Whitey Parties (via Say Anything).

NEW YORK — The dance floor throbs to the rapid thump-thump of the hip-hop beat. The deejay, Tha Pumpsta, leans against his booth, and a woman slides up from behind, grabs his narrow hips and rubs hard.

Tha Pumpsta hops onto the crowded dance floor of guys in big T-shirts dangling from slight frames and ladies in short skirts and tasseled boots.

“Kill whitey!” yells Tha Pumpsta into the microphone as he bounces to the beat. “What . . . gonna . . . do dance . . .” he raps to the beat. “Kill whitey!”

The kid by the bar busts out with a break-dancing move. Women drop their booties and the guys slide in close. Tha Pumpsta struts around in an all-white outfit from his headband to his high tops, shouting it again: ” Kill whitey!”

Tha Pumpsta, who happens be white, has built a following in the past few years by staging monthly “Kill Whitie” parties in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, for large groups of white hipsters. His proclaimed goal, in between spinning booty-bass, Miami-style frenetically danceable hip-hop records that are low on lyrical depth and high on raunchiness, is to “kill the whiteness inside.”

If there’s one thing I need more than anything else, it’s to kill my inner cracker. I wonder if I should use a 9 mm or a .40 cal.

But that’s not all… I believe I’ve finally found music that speaks to my inner rapper. You know… the one that is being repressed by my inner cracker. It’s all the bad-ass artists at Crunkland Records. Sure, you may not have heard of them, but I’m sure you’ve heard their music blasting out of the low-rider Honda Civics pulling up next to you in the ‘hood.

Take for example, BCG. He apparently killed his inner whitey a long time ago, and he can’t be tamed.

And don’t forget the rest of the Crunkland family – they’ve all killed their inner whitey as well. Good for them.

Well, now I have to go and pimp my ride and what-not. Keep it ri-zeal, biatches.

Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

Also see Pennsylvanian in Exile

Worse and Worse

Well, I was dead wrong about Katrina not wreaking catastrophic havoc in the Gulf. I’ve finally gotten a chance to actually sit and see some of the news coverage – as well as check some of it out on the net – and it is truly horrific. Michelle Malkin has a great round-up of links, stories and photos. Just scroll and read it all.

Martial law, prison riots with child hostages, bodies floating in the water, people trapped in their attics by flood waters, at least hundreds dead – now an evacuation of the city is mandatory because another levy is about to go, resulting in a possible 15 more feet of water.

And of course, there are the usual egg-sucking dogs taking advantage of the situation with the predictable looting.

Around the corner on Canal Street, the main thoroughfare in the central business district, people sloshed headlong through hip-deep water as looters ripped open the steel gates on the front of several clothing and jewelry stores.

One man, who had about 10 pairs of jeans draped over his left arm, was asked if he was salvaging things from his store.

“No,” the man shouted, “that’s EVERYBODY’S store.”

Looters filled industrial-sized garbage cans with clothing and jewelry and floated them down the street on bits of plywood and insulation as National Guard lumbered by.

Mike Franklin stood on the trolley tracks and watched the spectacle unfold.

“To be honest with you, people who are oppressed all their lives, man, it’s an opportunity to get back at society,” he said.

A man walked down Canal Street with a pallet of food on his head. His wife, who refused to give her name, insisted they weren’t stealing from the nearby Winn-Dixie supermarket. “It’s about survival right now,” she said as she held a plastic bag full of purloined items. “We got to feed our children. I’ve got eight grandchildren to feed.”

If there was only a way to get all the decent people out before the remaining dam breaks and leave the looters and rioters in the city.

No matter. I’m hoping that the stories of good people getting rescued will vastly outnumber the stories of rioting and looting, but you know me, I’m an optimist.

Now would be a good time to make a donation to the American Red Cross if you’ve got the means and the motivation. Sure, we probably won’t see a whole lot of help rolling in from Thailand or Sri Lanka, but we didn’t really expect it. At least Germany is pitching in… with blithering idiocy – fuck you in the nose, Germany.

Teenage Drug Use Drops to Zero Percent

In what can only be described as “a death knellâ€? to the Legalize It movement, Art Garfunkel, exactly one half of the Simon & Garfunkel duo, was arrested today on a felony charge of Living Up To A Stereotype with an aggravating charge of doing so In A Stereotypical Place. “The Garfâ€?, as he is known to his friends, was no match for the genetically enhanced narcoagents of Woodstock, NY who were quick to use their x-ray vision and canine-like sense of smell to foil The Garf’s deceptive “roach in the ashtrayâ€? ruse.

Former Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey was quick to report the good news to the press:

“No longer will we have to cower in fear at the thought of no good punks like Art Garfunkel wandering the streets – threatening our children and seducing our middle-aged but still reasonably attractive milf with his laidback renditions of ‘Mrs. Robinson’.â€?

I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille

Photo AP

The dog and (one-trick) pony show that is The Cindy Sheehan Experience. And for your jewhating pleasure, now with 100% more Al Sharpton.

From Crawford to Crown Heights! Next stop: Freddie’s Fashion Mart you dirty diamond merchant interlopers!

With special guest R. Kelly performing his Crawford-In-A-Closet Remix of “I Wanna Piss On Ya, Tawana�.

Citizen journalist and noted Pie Enthusiast Jeff Goldstein observes:

Sheehan said to her supporters today (I’m paraphrasing), “when the history books talk about the Camp Casey movement, you’ll be able to say you met Casey’s Momâ€?—proof positive that Cindy Sheehan believes her own press clippings and truly does see herself as a modern day Gandhi or King, Jr. ….The fucking hubris of this woman. Astounding!

Powerline has recon troops on the ground at Camp Commie:

Cindy Sheehan spent most of her time huddled with VIPS in and air-conditioned trailer. When she ventured out it was for a scripted and often televised moment. She was always trailed by her media people, and they were quick to keep her on point. During one conversation I had with her I tried to ask her a pointed question about how much time she would actually be on the bus tour to Washington (I had discovered she would only be on the tour for two days, and would be away giving speeches during the rest of the trip…and I wondered if she were being paid for these speeches) Her media person grabbed her arm and led her back to the trailer, and away from me. The message was protected. I was left standing there…alone, and feeling a little less secure about my status at Camp Casey.

But just a few minutes later, she emerged from the trailer, smiling, and performing for the cameras. Like the chicken at the local carnival that plays tic tac toe, she eagerly performs for any microphone. She is relentless, and professional, well financed and on message.

And the message is “All things bad are America’s fault.”

No surprise there.


(apologies to Smantix for adding to his post, but this one is related….)

Random Notes

You’ll be either pleased or disheartened to learn that Smantix will be hanging around a while. His sinister sense of humor and quick wit pleases me. And from some of your e-mails, you feel the same. I’m sure he’ll eventually get sick of this place, but hopefully he’ll stick around.

Katrina didn’t annihilate New Orleans as originally promised by the CableNewsHypeMachines™, and that’s a good thing. There is still plenty of damage and we’re all going to be paying through the nose for the cleanup through inflated insurance premiums. Plenty of storm photos at Fox News.

The U.S. Open started today. Nashville’s own Brian Baker pulled off the upset of the day by knocking off 9th seed Gaston Gaudio in straight sets. It’s nice to see a Tennessee boy making good on the sport’s biggest stage.

In other news, another rap thug got shot at an awards show. Big fucking deal. The real tragedy is that the shooter had pathetic aim. Apparently, police are baffled and have still made no arrests in the case. Surely they’re not expecting help from a culture that wears Stop Snitchin’ t-shirts as a badge of honor.

That’s it for this random batch of stuff. Stay tuned.

Pray for the People of New Orleans

Especially those who aren’t going to get out in time to avoid Katrina.

If you’re the praying type, this would be a good time to say one for the people of the Gulf Coast. I realize that a lot of you are Godless heathens, so you can do whatever it is you do – get out the voodoo candles and slaughter a chicken, perhaps.

Here are some shots of Camille, the last Cat 5 to wreak havoc on the New Orleans area (via Ace O Spades).

The Bill Richardson Chimichanga at The Buffet of Truth

Has anything changed in this country since September 11th? And what I mean by that is, would our leaders do anything different now to prevent another attack on the US with the benefit of hindsight?

Imagine the headlines. Dateline September 11, 2001. “Racial Bias in the Mohammed Atta Case?â€? Sadly, it appears that a lot more people are going to have to die in our country’s life and death struggle with political correctness.

Both The WaPo and Time head up this weekend’s coverage of an ongoing, large scale Chinese espionage operation against US defense computer networks:

In Washington, officials are tight-lipped about Titan Rain, insisting all details of the case are classified. But high-level officials at three agencies told TIME the penetration is considered serious. A federal law-enforcement official familiar with the investigation says the FBI is “aggressively” pursuing the possibility that the Chinese government is behind the attacks. Yet they all caution that they don’t yet know whether the spying is official, a private-sector job or the work of many independent, unrelated hands. The law-enforcement source says China has not been cooperating with U.S. investigations of Titan Rain. China’s State Council Information Office, speaking for the government, told TIME the charges about cyberspying and Titan Rain are “totally groundless, irresponsible and unworthy of refute.”

Despite the official U.S. silence, several government analysts who protect the networks at military, nuclear-lab and defense- contractor facilities tell TIME that Titan Rain is thought to rank among the most pervasive cyberespionage threats that U.S. computer networks have ever faced. TIME has obtained documents showing that since 2003, the hackers, eager to access American know-how, have compromised secure networks ranging from the Redstone Arsenal military base to nasa to the World Bank.

It is now common knowledge that September 11th happened because “a wallâ€? had been placed between intelligence gathering communities by September 11th Commission member Jamie Gorelick who prior to appointment on that august Commission was Bill Clinton’s Deputy Attorney General serving under Attorney General Stonewall Reno. This “wallâ€? went “beyond what was legally requiredâ€? to keep intelligence agencies from working with criminal investigators. And when the people who are in charge of intelligence aren’t allowed to act on that intelligence, thousands of people get murderered by foreign nationals.

Unsurprisingly, the same people who can extrapolate that the word “fixedâ€? in the so-called Downing Street Memo can undermine the entire invasion of Iraq have extreme difficulty in understanding how Bill Clinton’s (and former presidential hopeful John Kerry’s) White House National Security Adviser Sandy Berglar shoving subpoenaed 9/11 Memos marked “classifedâ€?, “originalâ€?, and “DO NOT REMOVEâ€? into his pants is anything short of treason.

Enter stage left: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. 2008 Democratic Presidential hopeful. Clinton’s Energy Secretary. Enabler of Wen Ho Lee and the Raiders of the Los Alamos. When The Cox Report was issued in 1999 detailing China’s ongoing espionage against the US, here is what Bill Richardson had to say:

“I will not respond to reporters who ask me for the number of Asian Americans or the number of foreign-born scientists at Los Alamos or in my department.� Richardson added. “This is discrimination, and it will not be tolerated.�

He continued: “We will do all we can to make sure that allegations about espionage so far directed against one individual will not be used to impact the careers of other Asian Americans.�

Forbid that a foreign national’s career may have to go through a more intensive background check to keep China from having our nuclear secrets. But this isn’t Richardson’s only foray into dangerous PC doublespeak BS. Most recently, some people praised Richardson for taking a tough stand on immigration. But here is just a little perspective on Border Czar Bill:

In New Mexico, Gov. Richardson has done much the same thing. He now blasts the federal government for not showing “the commitment or the leadership to deal with border issues.â€? He is demanding that officials on the Mexican side bulldoze an abandoned town on the border that serves “as a staging area for illegal drugs and illegal aliens.â€? But Mr. Richardson sang a different tune in late 2003, when he showed up at a rally for the “Immigrant Workers Freedom Rideâ€? and told them, “¡Viva la raza! … Thank you for coming to Santa Fe. Know that New Mexico is your home. We will protect you. You have rights here.â€?

¡Viva la raza! indeed. You MEChA-speak racebaiting traitor.

Richardson is the Democrat’s stalking horse candidate to neutralize the Hispanic vote and add gravitas to a rudderless party. Let’s make sure this one stays in the stable before he turns the entire country into New Mexico and sells out our national security for some more illegal Chinese campaign contributions.

Good News from Iraq

(Via Ace)

This is great stuff. U.S. puts aside it’s military political correctness long enough to flatten a house filled with islamofascists.

BAGHDAD, Iraq — U.S. warplanes launched multiple airstrikes Friday against a suspected “terrorist safe house” in the western Anbar province, destroying the building where up to 50 militants were believed to be hiding, the U.S. military said.

Coalition ground forces were alerted by local residents that a number of members of the terror group Al-Qaida in Iraq had gathered in an abandoned building northeast of Husaybah, near the Syrian border about 200 miles west of Baghdad.

The group is led by Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, the second most-wanted terrorist on the U.S. list after al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden.

“Iraqi citizens reported that approximately 50 terrorists were in the building at the time of the airstrike” which occurred at 4:40 p.m., the statement said.

The “known terrorist safe house” was destroyed by Marine F-18D Hornets using a combination of precision-guided bombs and rockets, it said. There were no immediate reports of the number of casualties inflicted by the attack.

There’s nothing better than a house full of Cindy’s “freedom fighters” getting turned into smoldering gooey rubble.

Shakendown, Not Stirred


Venezuelan President for Life, Hugo Chavez, has finally lived out his childhood dream of being able to save enough money to meet the Reverend Je$$e Jackson.

“Now I know I’ve finally made it!”, bragged Chavez during his weekly six-hour television show ‘Hello, President’. “Arafat, Gadhafi, Aristide – the Greats – I don’t care who you are, you’re just a two-bit, fucking clown in a paramilitary outfit until you meet the Reverend.”

Despite widespread voting irregularities, Chavez remains wildly popular with Venezuelans he has not killed or incarcerated yet.

President Chavez then led the Reverend to a meeting with some of his staff secretaries where Jackson charmed the ladies with some of his trademark rhymes:

“Ass, Gas, or Grass. Baby, nobody rides for free.”

The Leftist Creed

Dr. Shackleford is bringing it long and strong with the Rosary of the Left: Hail Cindy Sheehan, full of grace

1) Make the Sign of the Ankh and say the “Leftist Creed.”

I believe in Gaia, the Mother, who is the Spirit of earth; and in Casey, Her only Son, our fallen Lord; Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Lesbian Union of Gaia and Cindy, suffered under George W. Bush, was shot, died, and was buried. Mother Sheehan descended into Crawford, Texas; the third day she went back to California, only to reappear in Crawford. She will ascend into heaven, and sit at the right hand of The Great Universal Spirit or Spirits (choose gender and number), the Almighty; from thence She shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in Noam Chomsky, the Holy Univerity Curriculum, the communion of all anti-establishment forces, the forgiveness of every one, especially those who don’t change their ways, and the inevetable coming of the Communist Utopia. Amen.

When Rusty brings the funny, he brings the funny in a big fat duffel bag.

In semi-related news, Eric from Vince Aut Morire has opened two new Cafe Press shops – the Happy Kafir and Vinnie’s Kennel. Go buy some of his overpriced shit before Cafe Press realizes his shop is not exclusively selling anti-Bush gear and shuts him down.

Blogswarm: Find These Assholes

As was alluded to earlier in the evening by Smantix, some of Seattle’s finest street thugs beat the shit out of some of our soldiers who had recently returned from Iraq.

SEATTLE – Two soldiers who just returned from a year in Iraq were badly beaten in an attack outside Pioneer Square. But believe it or not, someone caught the beating on videotape. Now, police are asking for your help identifying the suspects.

They didn’t get very far. The three suspects ran after them and began attacking the two men — two soldiers who’d come home from the war.

The graphic videotape shows both victims getting beaten over and over again, and then after one of the victims loses consciousness, a suspect starts stomping on his head.

Seattle police are looking for assistance in identifying them. Here are their hideous mugs (via Wuzzadem):

If you have any info on these chunks of human debris, contact the Seattle P.D. Better yet, if you can get away with it, waste ’em. You’ll be doing society a favor, guaranteed.


Rob at Say Anything (using his detective skills, no doubt) has a whole lot more on this story.

Say Thank You, Cindy

(via Jawa Central)

I heard this story on talk radio earlier in the week. I thought it was too good to be true – Cindy Sheehan, the Ditch Bitch – calling the terrorists in Iraq “freedom fighters”. I thought to myself – no way did she actually say that.

Well, now I’ve seen it with my own eyes at Sweetness and Light.

The Ditch Bitch was being interviewed by CBS reporter Mark Knoller and let it all hang out:

Mark Knoller: You know that the President says Iraq is the central front in the war on terrorism, don’t you believe that?

Cindy Sheehan: No, because it’s not true. Iraq was no threat to the United States of America until we invaded. Iraq was not involved in 9/11. Iraq was not a terrorist state.

But now that we have decimated the country, the borders are open. Freedom Fighters from other countries are going in. And they have created more terrorism by going into an Islamic country, devastating the country and killing innocent people in that country.

Terrorism is growing. And people who never thought of being car bombers, suicide bombers are now doing it because they want the United States of America out of their country.

It sounds outrageous, but watch the video.

Seems to me, Cindy, since these are freedom fighters, not only do you owe President Bush an apology, you should thank him for allowing your son to be sacrificed for the good of the Saudi, Syrian and Iranian freedom fighters who have infested Iraq like so many islamic cockroaches.

This is an excellent case study into the mental illness that is the left in America today. If you are willing to use your own son’s death as a tool to promote the anti-American agenda of Moveon.Org and People for the anti-American Way, you are beyond mentally ill. And the best part? This is the Old Media’s standard bearer! This is their heroine!

The Ditch Bitch may be the best thing to come along in years, in terms of exposing the left and the Old Media’s rabid, frothing desire to find the silver bullet to take down the “world’s biggest terrorist,” George Bush. It would be a hell of a lot funnier if it weren’t bought hook, line and sinker by so many of the cretins in America’s great nauseous moderate underbelly.

Home Is Where The Hate Is

Our armed forces have faced a long, hard slog in their brutal and immoral effort to occupy of The United States of America. After an impressive march to Baghdad, US troops were not prepared for their homecoming, having been lied to by an administration that finds itself increasingly at odds with American Liberals as to whether we should “Bring Our Troops Home” or not.

Be they Iraq veterans looking for a night on the town, Thugs of the nefarious American Legion, or even injured “oil copsâ€? recovering at The Sisters of Bloody Mercenaries Hospital, American soldiers have been sent back onto the streets without the necessary armor or vehicles equipped for these roadside clashes. Code Pinko protesters outside of Walter Reed Hospital sought to encourage support for the injured oil cops with such inspirational signage as “Maimed for Liesâ€? and “Enlist here and die for Halliburtonâ€?. But it wasn’t all just cheerleading. Some of the protesters took a “tough loveâ€? approach to the recovering mercenaries by mocking them with rows of funeral caskets during visitation hours for their families.

“If that doesn’t inspire them to get out of that wheelchair and strangle me till piss runs down both of my legs I don’t know what will!â€?, laughed Code Pinko organizer and Nobel Peace Prize candidate Medea Benjamin.

Unconfirmed reports on the scene indicated police had to tear gas protesters who began furiously masturbating to photos of flag-draped coffins.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.â€?, said one officer who spoke to our sources under the condition of anonymity. “This is quite possibly the biggest bunch of fucking jackoffs I have ever seen. Or jill-offs as the case may be.â€?

Against the rising tide of insurgent violence, 60% of Americans are questioning their faith in the two-party system and wondering how long it will be until President Bush can devise an exit strategy. For the 3rd straight day, President Bush has refused to set a timetable for withdrawal of American forces from al-Seattle, the People’s District of Columbia and Kalifornistan, saying “that would only embolden the terroristsâ€?.

Two Tickets to Taradise

It’s good to finally see real people come up with real solutions to our global terrorism problem. Like this well constructed solution from actress/whore Tara Reid:

TARA: I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we’d have no terrorists left. Like, don’t kill innocent people for no reason. It’s not fair. We love everybody. We’d even like them if they said they’re sorry. It’s not fair that innocent people are getting hurt. It makes me sad. [pouts]

[awkward silence]

SAMY: In Monaco we are safe! No problems!

TARA: [agreeably] Nothing happens in this country!

Cuz… you know…. mean people suck…. and all that… oh, and free Tibet, man……

Note to terrorists: consider Monaco for your next assault on western civilization. Because “nothing happens” in that country! Sounds like they could use some excitement. Well, something more exciting than Tara’s plastic knockers bouncing from club to club.

H/T Eric & Jeff

To Kill A Sacred Cow

Brock Peters died today. He was the actor who played the role of an innocent cocoa delight who the poh-poh kept perpetratin’ against in To Kill A Mockingbird. In the movie, Peters’ character was represented by the majestically vanilla and altruistic lawyer Atticus Finch, who has served as the epitome of what every liberal attorney longs to be.

Which unfortunately brings us back to Cindy Sheehan.

Sheehan infamously called convicted terrorist lawyer Lynne Stewart her “Atticus Finchâ€?. Being white is about the only thing this sick bitch has in common with Peck’s character. Luckily her client, Blind Sheikh Omar Abdul Rahman was convicted due to overwhelming evidence and a unique defense that Stewart employed:

“a bizarre defense strategy (in which she argued that issuing a fatwah to blow up the World Trade Center was merely part of the Sheikh’s religious duties as a Muslim cleric) ed: which is that’s the case Pat Robertson has really been laying down on the job, and his glaring culpability in Islamic Group’s devious plots (to assassinate Hosni Mubarak, blow up New York’s Holland and Lincoln Tunnels, The George Washington Bridge and the United Nations Building) – Rahman was sentenced in October 1995 to life imprisonment plus 65 years. The verdict left Stewart in tears…â€?

This is Cindy Sheehan’s “Atticus Finchâ€?. Like fighting for justice for the innocently accused against the background of the Jim Crow South is the same thing as defending a dead to rights murderer who was also responsible for passing orders to his terrorist cell that led to the deaths of 58 tourists at the Luxor Hotel in Egypt from the confines of his prison cell in 1997.

There are a thousand cameras on this twobagger Ditch Bitch. When is someone going to call her on the racist, bullshit stump speech she’s been phoning in since last year?

She’s accused her son and every other serviceman of being part of an “inhumane slaughterâ€?. She’s pimping for Syria and Iran to have nuclear weapons. She said we are engaging in nuclear war against Iraq. She calls the terrorists in Iraq “freedom fightersâ€?. Israel is occupying Palestine and that Bush let 9/11 happen for the Jews. And Lynne Stewart is her Atticus Finch.

She quit her job. Failed as a wife. Failed as a mother. And by leaving her own mother in the lurch after a stroke, she is now a failure as a daughter. And all to be a useful idiot for MoveOn and Arianna Huffinglue and whore it up for the cameras. I guess if Arianna’s perfume is so strong that it can lure Michael Huffington away from dicks for a while that poor old Mr. Sheehan could not compete.