Shakendown, Not Stirred

jacksonandarafatuous

Venezuelan President for Life, Hugo Chavez, has finally lived out his childhood dream of being able to save enough money to meet the Reverend Je$$e Jackson.

“Now I know I’ve finally made it!”, bragged Chavez during his weekly six-hour television show ‘Hello, President’. “Arafat, Gadhafi, Aristide – the Greats – I don’t care who you are, you’re just a two-bit, fucking clown in a paramilitary outfit until you meet the Reverend.”

Despite widespread voting irregularities, Chavez remains wildly popular with Venezuelans he has not killed or incarcerated yet.

President Chavez then led the Reverend to a meeting with some of his staff secretaries where Jackson charmed the ladies with some of his trademark rhymes:

“Ass, Gas, or Grass. Baby, nobody rides for free.”

11 comments

  1. We need to come up with a new phrase for “voting irregularities”. I can’t stop thinking about Michael Moore declaring, wrongly of course, blacks were kept away from voting booths. Not at all the same as the “voting irregularities” found in Venezuela.

  2. I thought Michael Moore was going to have 1500 cameras all over the country to show us how blacks and jews were being denied the right to vote Semi. Did he just forget to air that video or is it still with him at fat camp?

    Chavez left Diddy in the dust in a game of electoral oneupmanship with his “Vote *and* Die” marketing campaign.

  3. Apparently you’re winning the crossover audience from a certain city’s only network funded leftwing website.

    But don’t let crossover success change you. Like it did to Hammer.

  4. I am not able to disclose at this time whether my comments could have been construed as referring to the leftwing clearinghouse you are referring to MDV. I also cannot verify, or deny, at this time in response to specific allegations that Nashville may or may not be talking.

  5. I can guarantee that if Nashville is Talking, brittney will let us know and then will add… “what do you think?”

    Wait a second… since Six Meat now has a Nashville blogger, that makes this a Nashville blog. Looks like she’ll have to put me back on the blogroll after all.

    Heh.

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