Month: September 2005

Bill Bennett: Sir, You Are No Chris Rock

I hate Bill Bennett. With every clogged artery of my cold, black heart – I hate him. If I could sentence him to a Hell where he was forced to ingest two sheets of double-dipped blotter, made to watch Cheech & Chong movies all day long and only be allowed to play on a slot machine that never pays off for all of Eternity – I would. So it is with great regret that I must rush to the side of a man I despise so completely.

Let’s rehash what he said:

Bennett, on his radio show, “Morning in America,” was answering a caller’s question when he took issue with the hypothesis put forth in a recent book that one reason crime is down is that abortion is up.

“But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down,” said Bennett, author of “The Book of Virtues.”

He went on to call that “an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down. So these far-out, these far-reaching, extensive extrapolations are, I think, tricky.”

Responding later to criticism, Bennett said his comments had been mischaracterized and that his point was that the idea of supporting abortion to reduce crime was “morally reprehensible.”

Now for the visually impaired or the especially hard of hearing who are having this read to them by a friend or loved one, that’s Bennett calling the idea “ridiculous” and “morally reprehensible”. Repeatedly. Others have noted more eloquently than I that:

In 1729 Jonathan Swift wrote “A Modest Proposal For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being A Burden to Their Parents or Country, and For Making Them Beneficial to The Public.”

Swift wrote A Modest Proposal to illustrate just how bad poverty had become in the early days of the Industrial Revolution. It was bad enough that, from an amoral perspective, the slaughter of children for human consumption, made economic sense. The sheer inhumanity of the suggestion was designed to shock the United Kingdom into confronting its very real problems with poverty. For that, Swift’s essay is still studied by nearly every student of college English Literature.

Enough of your erudite, book learnin’ Mr. Krumm. For those who missed Swift, they’ve surely seen a Chris Rock routine. Some people are allowed to say certain things about race and some people aren’t. As that is the case, the former Secretary of Education, Drug Czar, and Moral Thunderbolt caster Bennett’s completely unoriginal observations on “The Roe Effect” has elicited howls of manufactured outrage.

The Gray Tie gives us a partial transcript of Bennett’s appearance on Hannity & Colmes last night where he’s not backpedaling:

Before that, when I was secretary of education, I took on what I think is one of the great civil rights issues of our time, which is educational opportunity and educational choice. The stupid ghettoized curriculum we have, the fact that these black kids go to lousy schools and aren’t allowed to choose the schools of their choice because they don’t have the money and don’t have the opportunity.

I’ve been at this for 25 years and I have been called everything in the book, but I will stay at what I do because I believe it.

Let me just tell you, when it comes to abortion, my wife’s program, Best Friends, has kept more young women from having abortions because they don’t get pregnant because they take her good counsel…

HANNITY: Let me…

BENNETT: Than the entire black caucus. She has done more for inner city black girls than the entire black caucus. So I will not bow my head to any of these people.

Here’s the CDC on abortion rates by race for a little perspective. Since some people are so quick to intentionally misinterpret Bennett’s comments, it would only seem right to mention that Democrats already fund and sanction an ongoing war against the African-American community in the spirit of Planned Parenthood’s founder Margaret Sanger and a realization of what she called “The Negro Project”:

In the 41 areas for which race was adequately reported, approximately 55% of women who obtained legal induced abortions were known to be white, 35% were black, and 7% were of other races; for 3% of the women, race was unknown. (Table 9). The abortion ratio for black women (503 per 1,000 live births) was 3.0 times the ratio for white women (167 per 1,000 live births).

Those numbers are fairly disgusting. That if you are black and in America that it’s a miracle you’re here in the first place since there is a greater than 50/50 chance for you to have been aborted than to be born.

Bennett is not responsible for the abortion end of his speculation. He’s responsible for the crime rate. As Drug Tsar, his zero-tolerance policies are to blame for the increase in incarcerations for minor drug offenses that disproportionately effected the percentage of blacks in prison and the numerically greater number of whites in prison. Aborting Bill Bennett’s appointment as Drug Tsar would have lowered the crime rate. He has criminalized millions of blacks, whites, and hispanics alike – indiscriminately embracing diversity through the zealous persecution of a victimless crime. Ruining the lives and careers of people who don’t share his particular vice.

Democrats have already laid a holocaust at the bedroom of Black America so attempting to slam Bennett is just a little more than disingenuous. They have deceived blacks into a mindset that sacrifices their children in a war where their coffins are draped by flags with “Choice” written on them. There will be no ACLU lawsuits to get those pictures.

I come neither to praise Bennett nor to bury him. Bennett helps fund inner city kids going to college unlike liberals who fund inner city kids’ path to extinction. Given that sad reality, today I must side with Bennett and I hope I never have to again.

Cheer up, honey. And remember to vote Hillary for more of the same.

This post has been submitted to covered dish church suppers for the following congregations: My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, Basil’s Blogorama, Outside the Beltway, Stop the ACLU, The Mudville Gazette, Cafe Oregano, Wizbang, Bright and Early, Point Five, Jo’s Cafe.

Bizarre Love Triangle

As running proof that “no good deed goes unpunished”, Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie and Condoleeza Rice joined up to raise a paltry 1.3 million dollars to fight AIDS in Africa. Before breaking her arm to congratulate herself on being such a wonderful person, Clinton took the opportunity to make a slam at the Bush administration for Africa’s decades long struggle to realistically deal with AIDS:

While the women went out of their way to praise each other, Clinton drew loud applause when she called on the Bush administration and Congress to recognize the importance of condoms in the fight against AIDS.

“There is a great deal of political pressure to only talk about abstinence, and to deny support for condoms and education on using them,” Clinton said. “This policy will lead to the unnecessary deaths of many people.”

Oh. Africans are dying of AIDS because of Bush. Even a cursory look at their problem reveals that to be utterly fatuous:

JOHANNESBURG — The US government has purchased more than 1 billion condoms in the past two years to help prevent HIV infections in the developing world, a significant increase from previous years, amid criticism from activists that the Bush administration isn’t doing enough to make condoms more widely available.

By the end of December, US officials project that they will have shipped more than 612 million condoms this year to Africa, Asia, and Latin America, the greatest annual figure since 1991, according to the Office of the US Global AIDS Coordinator in Washington. In 2004, the United States purchased 442 million condoms.

Despite the increase, more than 60 countries around the world report condom shortages…

How can that be true? Bush is letting black people die because he hates their skin color and has an “abstinence only” policy towards dealing with AIDS if I’m hearing the Former First Lesbian correctly.

One has to seriously wonder if Hillary Clinton is a tranny because it takes balls the size of church bells to lay the blame of AIDS in Africa at the current administration’s feet. While Bush and Blair have been working on eliminating tens of billions of dollars in debt for Africa and pouring millions of dollars into anti-AIDS prevention programs, many in Africa are in denial that a) AIDS is a an imaginary problem dreamed up by Western pharmaceutical companies and b) that more than a handful of African health ministers believe it can be treated by olive oil, garlic and beetroot.

Take your 1.3 million and shove it up your ass Hillary. If you really want to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases why don’t you start fucking your husband?

Unshocking Unbreaking News!

Roberts confirmed. If you really care, Malkin’s got a list of how the Dim-O-Cracks voted. Personally, I don’t care. This was a foregone conclusion and you damn well know it.

The real question is what’s Junior going to do next? Will he get some balls and nominate an actual conservative to the court? Or will he continue to strut around like a peacock, showing off the moderate yellow stripe running down his back, blurting out verbal vomit about being a uniter, not a divider?

His next appointment will pretty much tell the story of the second term of his Presidency. Will it be more Daddy-style weakness and pandering or an unexpected Reaganesque conservative nomination?

Yes, I’m aware that Reagan appointed the worthless Sinead-O-Day-O-Connor – it wasn’t his only mistake, but it was his biggest Personally, I think he should nominate Heather Locklear. She’s hot.

Quote of The Week

After catching flak for laughing and giggling while being arrested outside of the White House this week, St. Cindy Shenanigans breaks down what was so freaking hilarious:

Why I Was Smiling and Hurricane Rita (55 comments )

I had a huge grin on my face when I was getting arrested yesterday. I have received a lot of flak for smiling. Apparently I am not supposed to smile, but I had some really good reasons for doing so.

First of all, I was having fun. I was with a group of good-humored, cheerful, happy people. We were singing old protest songs and old Sunday school songs and clapping. I felt I had to be cheerful to set the tone. We didn’t want any trouble or to do anything non-peaceful. Secondly, when I got arrested and the officers lifted me out I was afraid that America would see my underwear and that tickled me.

Nice visual Ms. Nasty-Ass. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wrap my cock in a makeshift splint of two popsicle sticks and some duct tape coupled with several shots of bourbon to help erase that image.

And if anyone has a problem with *that* visual, in the future, please make sure that the next time Ms. Fat-Ass-Panty-Flasher takes Camp Crotchrot on the road that she puts some clothes on.

Crazy Jerry’s House of Discount Abortion

Dorothy, hold my calls! I’m wrist deep in dead baby! Did Bush & “Brownie’s” hatred of black people cause you to get raped at the Superdome? Did Hurricane Katrina sweep you off your feet, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and then leave you barefoot and pregn’int? Fret no more.

Crazy Jerry’s House of Discount Abortion will beat any competitor’s price:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – A doctor has offered to perform free abortions on hurricane evacuees, saying it may be too dangerous for them to wait until they return home.

Despite protests from abortion opponents, Little Rock Family Planning clinic director Dr. Jerry Edwards said he has already performed six free abortions. The clinic usually charges between $525 and $600 for a first-trimester abortion.

The only thing more dangerous than waiting to return home would be waiting another day with that inconvenient ticking timebomb in your belly. Offer may not be valid in some areas:

Hurricane Katrina Survivors

At LRFPS we are offering abortions at no charge to victims of Hurricane Katrina. In order to receive this service you MUST have a government issued picture ID showing your home address in the following counties/parishes: Jackson, Harrison, and Hancock – Mississippi. Orleans, Kenner, Plaquemines, St. Tammay, St. Bernard, Jefferson, Charles, Terrabone, and St. James – Louisiana.

Why pay more? Don’t be fooled by the other guys. That’s Crazy Jerry’s House of Discount Abortion. 9 miles due west of the Clinton Library.

Where we save you money.

WTW: Supreme Skank

Much like nominee John “David-Souter-In-Training” Roberts, everyone’s favorite binge-dieting, gold-digging, drug-addled bimbo is heading for the highest court in the land.

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The rollicking tale of Playboy playmate and ex-stripper Anna Nicole Smith snatched top billing in the staid and sober US Supreme Court, after justices said they would hear the outrageous reality star’s multi-million dollar inheritance claim.

The case, due to come up early next year, is the culmination of a fierce legal tussle between Smith and the son of her late billionaire oil magnate husband Howard Marshall, which has daubed US gossip columns in a trail of sleaze and scandal.

Marshall died, aged 90 in 1995, four years after meeting the busty Texas-born bombshell, then a 26-year-old topless dancer working under her real name Vickie Lynn, in Houston’s “Gigi” nightclub.

Smith who has splashed herself across a Playboy centerfold and dubbed her recent uncensored cable show “America’s Guiltiest Pleasure” was awarded an 88.5 million dollar slice of her husband’s 1.6 billion dollar estate in 2002.

Her lawyers argue that California’s Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit was wrong last year to overturn the stipend on the grounds that the District court judge who made the huge award had no jurisdiction over the case.

It is heart-wrenchingly tragic when a love as beautiful and pure as that of Anna Nicole and Howard is dragged through the mud via the spotlight of the judicial system. Apparently, the late Howard Marshall’s son doesn’t believe in true love and the loving bond between a husband and wife – he wants Nicole cut out of the will altogether. Heartless, cynical bastard.

Smith also claims Marshall’s son Pierce has maliciously sought to cut her out of a share of her late husband’s wealth.

Pierce in return claims he is his father’s sole heir, has branded Smith’s demands “extravagant” and always disputed her earlier claim that his father promised her half his fortune.

When Smith won her original 88 million dollar settlement in March 2002, her lawyer Philip Boesch declared “this is a complete victory for my client, and I think it’s a victory for a husband’s love for his wife.”

Judge David Carter ruled in the case, in which Smith was often lambasted by opposing attorneys as a “golddigger”, that Marshall was a “sickly” old man and his bride-to-be was a “vibrant” young woman when they met.

He found that Smith eventually agreed to marriage after being plied with gifts, though was concerned that wedlock could harm her burgeoning modelling career.

“Their lives were intertwined in need, driven by greed and lust. Nevertheless, the court is convinced of his love for her,” Carter wrote in his judgement.

Let’s hope, for the sake of all that is good and pure, that the court realizes how much Anna Nicole truly loved her husband/cadaver and that she is due at least half of his fortune. Such a ruling would be a triumph and an inspiration to the many supporters of traditional marriage. Because there’s nothing more traditional than a crack-addled stripper marrying a crippled old man for a shot at mountains of cash.

Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….


New Orleans Needs You Chief Spanky

New Orleans’ Disgrace-in-Chief has finally resigned but who could take his place? Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a time for being selfish. We cannot hog all of the talent at our disposal. In Volunteer fashion, I volunteer Chief Spanky to go home and fix the shithole that is New Orleans.

Having succeeded in increasing Nashville’s murder rate, rape rate, traffic fatality rate and instead focusing on selective enforcement of traffic laws to the tune of a whopping 77% increase in tickets over the previous year – I know this may come as a shock – but New Orleans needs you more than we do Chief Spanky.

We’ve loved the antics of the entire department under your Reign of Error. The taser deaths. The media whoring. The shooting of the elderly in our Parks on Movie Night. Taking on any betting on games of chance outside of the State Lottery with Swift & Brutal Justice(tm). The covering up for officers getting drunk and running over students while letting them drink water before they have to take a breath test hours later.

It takes real nerve to pay undercover informants to have sex with strippers and then arrest a local ad man for placing advertisements for strip clubs. Thankfully Chief Spanky then eliminated the scourge of naked, gyrating titties fleecing my pockets of ducats that rightfully belong to Metro’s Meter Maid division. Thank you for protecting me from myself.

I love that I now no longer fear going downtown out of worrying about getting a DUI but now rather out of fear of getting shot.

Don’t get me wrong. We’ve had our fun and I didn’t even bring your son’s legal issues into it either.

But the resignation of New Orleans top cop leaves a gaping hole that only a hulking tube of manmeat like you could ever fill. We will miss you Chief Spanky.

Au revoir!

Two for Tuesday

Two of my blog-crushes (Debbie Schlussel and Beth at MVRWC) have a couple of excellent posts that deserve some linky-love.

First of all, in case you missed it, Debbie Schlussel has been playing 007, going undercover at a Hezbollah Mosque in DetroitThe Islamic House of Wisdom. What she found will not make you feel any safer from islamic terrorism – in fact, it will probably cause nausea and vomiting, not necessarily in that order. It was a who’s-who of islamic bootlicking courtesy of the Feds.

A week ago, Saturday Night, I was at the Islamic House of Wisdom, a Hezbollah mosque, to see why our top Federal employees would hang out with Hezbollah’s hand-picked cleric, Imam Mohammed Ali Elahi, and his congregants–terrorism supporters (and funders). It wasn’t pretty. I didn’t see much wisdom, but I saw a ton of pandering.

Republican U.S. Attorney Stephen Murphy III (the Justice Dept.’s top official in the heart of Islamic America), Michigan FBI Special Agent in Charge Daniel Roberts, Michigan and Ohio ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) Special Agent in Charge Brian Moskowitz (a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz”), and Carol Jennifer, head of Citizenship and Immigration Services, and Michael Moore’s favorite far-left Congressman, John Conyers (co-star of “Fakenheit 911”) all yukked it up with Hezbollah’s American Imam, Mohammed Ali Elahi. Also there: ICE Assistant Special Agent in Charge Michael “Mick” Hodzen (a/k/a “The Tool Belt Holder”).

It’s not like the Feds have anything else to do. First they’re looking to create a new porn squad, then it’s a new radical islamic suck-up squad. I guess we really have won the war on terror, if these are our new best friends. And how seriously are we taking radical islam? Not very.

Kowtowing to the Hezbollah mosque’s Imam, Elahi–who was sent here from Iran by Hezbollah in 1991 to radicalize Shia mosques and somehow managed to stay after his 4-month visa expired–these officials (and their retinue of 9 additional ass-kissing federal agents in tow) joked around with Elahi about why Hezbollah would even be considered a terrorist group. How funny. I’m sure my friend Ken Stethem–whose brother, Navy Diver Robert Stethem, was tortured to death by Hezbollah on a hijacked plane–wouldn’t find it so funny.

Nor do I think anyone sane would like Elahi’s repeated comments (to the Feds’ enthusiastic applause) that, “What is going on South of Lebanon, is not terrorism. That’s resistance.”

Stay tuned to Debbie’s blog for part two, which I’m sure will follow shortly and will probably be just as disturbing.

Next, Beth at MVRWC has a great letter from a U.S. Marine in Iraq. She’s been in touch with a few of them for a while now – the letter is a great reminder about the gutsy men and women serving in the war on terror, and the good news is that the morale of the troops on the ground has not been undermined by the public display of idiocy by Cindy Shitcan and her allies in the Old Media.

I think you would be amazed at the morale of the young military people here. I know I am. I’ve been in for over 28 years and I have seen good and bad. These youngsters are getting the job done in a way I would never have imagined. They go on convoys, get shot at or have IEDs go off, then they return still in high spirits. The trick here is to convince the bad guys they have been beat. The idiots at the peace rallies are what’s really hurting since the stated goals of the insurgents is to break down public support for the war in the US. I heard the other day that 52% of the people back home think we are losing. I would be worried if it was 1995 and this was the case, but Bush doesn’t govern via polls like Clinton did. That’s one thing we all appreciate about the president; he sticks to the plan.

Beth includes a couple of other messages for the drooling left that are worth visiting for as well, so go see her.

LSU Fans Heartbroken

It couldn’t happen to a better bunch of asshats.

LSU fans attack UT team buses prior to gametime.

It was a stark contrast to the welcome Tennessee’s team received when it arrived on campus two hours earlier. LSU fans rocked their buses and broke windows by throwing beer bottles at the Vols.

UT athletics director Mike Hamilton said the Tennessee party had four buses, and he was on the last one, which included other school officials and cheerleaders. “They were throwing bottles at the buses and that kind of stuff,” Hamilton said. “The bus I was on, they broke three of the windows.”

Vicky Fulmer, wife of UT coach Phillip Fulmer, was riding on the first UT bus and said fans threw beer all over it.

LSU officials explained that three cracked windows occurred after the UT buses mistakenly got behind the LSU team buses, which stopped as scheduled.

“Usually that never happens,” LSU associate athletics director Herb Vincent said. “We keep the (visiting team) buses moving so the fans never get the opportunity to touch the buses.”

Sounds like rioting and lawlessness must be a cajun thing.

Halftime Thoughts

A couple of quick thoughts as I take a break from the horrific Tennessee/LSU game, wipe away my tears, have another whiskey sour and bang out some blog ignunce for you people.

First of all, Lynndie England was convicted today. I’m so excited about her conviction that I did a Lynndie.

LYNNDIE ENGLAND, the US reservist who became the public face of the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal in Iraq, was convicted by a military jury in Texas yesterday for her role in the affair.

England, 22, one of a group of nine Army reservists accused of abusing prisoners at the Baghdad jail, was found guilty of six out of seven charges, including four counts of maltreating detainees and one of committing an indecent act. She was found not guilty on one conspiracy charge.

She should also have been charged with Ambiguous Gender and Hideous Dogface. If only those were crimes.

Speaking of less-than-aesthetically-pleasing-mugs, Cindy Shitcan got arrested outside of the White House today in her continuing cavalcade of “LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, STOP THE WAR! I HAVE A DEAD SON!” idiocy.

Is there any way to have her put away for a couple of years so that we can make damn sure her 15-minutes of fame are dead-and-buried before she gets out? Can’t we write a Sheehan-specific law or some such?

Enough about that idiot-bitch. Last but not least, the Commissar has stayed on top of the Sandra Beth Geisel case – reporting that her plea deal will have her out of jail by the end of the year. Which is fortuitous, because I’ll be in need of a little extra action right around then. Mmmmmm…. Sandra Beth Geisel.

Well, the second half of doom is about to start. We’ll see if LSU can put 50 points on the board by the end of the game. Perhaps the Great Pumpkin will put Clausen in for the rest of the second half – he’s the only shot we have of not being completely embarrassed on national cable television. If it gets really ugly, I’ll switch back over to the Chiefs/Broncos game – I hear Marcus Allen is having a whale of a night running the football.

Sorry for the light blogging as of late, but I’m taking a bit of a vacation with the family and chasing Preston Jr. while he wears a Darth Vader mask is far more enjoyable than riffing on the news.


Vols come back to stun LSU in OT, 30-27.

How the hell did that happen? I hope to hell this puts that “quarterback controversy” to rest. Clausen should have been the starter all year long. End of story.

A Little Help, Please

Sadie speaking…crossposting this from my co-blogger, Chrissy, at our homesite:

My mom and my best friend’s (Susan’s) mom are in DeRidder, Louisiana, a small town just above Lake Charles.

I have confirmed with the local electric company they will be out of power for two to three weeks.

Cameron and Lake Charles have been laid to waste.

I’m told by people there that DeRidder looks like a war zone.


Bush Tax Cuts Kill Again

Yet another one of our nation’s precious seniors kicked the bucket this weekend as we mourn the passing of beloved small-screen bully “Butch” from The Little Rascals.

Butch providing a valuable parable on the misuse of US military dominance

Had Alfalfa not been justifiably murdered over a $50 reward for a stolen dog back in 1959, he would surely be breathing easier today or hooked up on a respirator to help him do so.

“Butch” was a spry 79 years young. If only we had elected John Edwards the money for embryonic stem cell research would have already been diverted from those tax cuts for the top 1% and Butch would be planning his 80th Birthday. Now we’ll never know.

Damn you, Chimpy.

A Brief Conversation With The Mrs.

…while driving back from Johnson City to Knoxville on I-81, upon seeing a big-ass red pickup-truck with “Just Married” scrawled across the back window.

Mrs. Holmes: “Aren’t you glad that’s not us in a pickup truck on our way to Gatlinburg on our honeymoon?”

Me: “Yeah. I guess so.”

Mrs. Holmes: “I guess they’re happy though.”

Me: “I suppose.”

Mrs. Holmes: “It is one of the only three days in their marriage where he doesn’t hit her.”

Me: * Expression of shock and disgust *

She can be brutal when driving late at night. Yes she can.

Good Will Gassing

So this is how Matt Damon and Ben Affleck got famous? For anyone who missed the suitcase nuke dropped on a sycophantic Nashville commentariat this morning, their beloved “Gas Guy” revealed *gasp* The Truth(tm).

“What,� you cry aloud “You weren’t telling us the whole truth about your life?� Well, of course I wasn’t. This isn’t a court of law. Gas Guy is a character, not a human being. He reflects certain aspects of my life, principally the thing I do for beer money between English lit and rhetoric seminars that would bore most people to tears. There is no savant devoid of formal education standing in a gas station in Tennessee. I don’t even live in Tennessee. Honestly, I’ve never set foot in the state. Shocked? Horrified? Pleased and delighted? Does it matter at all? Not really.

I kind of had a feeling about this. That scene in The Silence of the Lambs kept playing over in my head where Hannibal Lecter had warned Jodie Foster about the “elaboration of a bad liar”. But the Gas Guy is neither bad or a liar. I’ve enjoyed some of these things he’s written. Particularly this one: “Evil”

I’d like to think that his creative writing experiment would make some people rethink the way they project their own biases to fill the gaps in what they don’t know, or worse, intentionally deceive themselves to only see what they want to see – but that would be giving some people too much credit. And we know how the Gas Guy feels about extending credit.

Consider it an important and inexpensive lesson. And a well played one.

Hurricane Cindy Poised to Strike Washington, Democrat Poll Numbers


Do not fear the gay babies. They know not what they do. Fear the people who probably adopted them and then pose them with rainbow flags and post their photos on the front page of the website for a Communist front group in lieu of their traitor March on Washington.

But not all is well in the party that is being lead around the nation by a woman who could easily pass for the nation’s ugliest lesbian art teacher. Via the always relevant

Top Dems leave as protest nears

Party split between anti-war activists and prominent critics

Knight Ridder

WASHINGTON – As the anti-war movement arrives in Washington this weekend, many Democrats are leaving.

Nationally known Democratic war critics, including Howard Dean, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, and Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, Russell Feingold of Wisconsin and John Kerry of Massachusetts, won’t attend what sponsors say will be a big anti-war rally Saturday in Washington.

Today’s leading Democrats head a party divided over the war, and many leaders are wary of standing with anti-war activists, who represent much of the party’s base. The divide between anti-war activists and Democratic leaders underscores a challenge the party faces in the 2006 congressional elections and beyond.

En route to Washington for the rally, anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan protested outside Clinton’s New York office. “She knows that the war is a lie, but she is waiting for the right time to say it,” Sheehan said. “You say it or you are losing your job.”

Spokesmen for the Democrats who are skipping the anti-war event all said they had schedule conflicts. But some leading anti-war activists aren’t buying it.

That’s got to sting.

Uhhh. Yea. Listen, I had a great time (motions hand to ear). I’ll call you, ok?

The Democrats must be feeling a little bit like Diane Keaton in Looking for Mr. Goodbar. They took the scraggledy whore of the anti-war movement home, laid up in bed with her a few years and now she wants a ring put on her finger.

This is why you put a bag over her head. So she can’t track you down later and embarrass you in public. All that is certain is that Saint Cindy Shenanigan will at last have the medium to disgrace the Democrats once and for all.

On Late Night w/ Bill Maher (9/23/05), everybody’s favorite black transvestite beating Keebler Elf did not even bother mentioning that there is a rally in Washington tomorrow. He got the memo. Well, the memo and the pubic lice.

I foolishly taped over the last big International ANSWER rally where Immaculate Mother Cindy was just beginning to sprout her goat horns. Not this time. The pant pissers think they have the momentum and will not squander the opportunity to say what they think Amerikkka needs to hear to it’s fascist face. Don’t take it easy on us. Hit us with both barrels if you must.

Speak Truth To Power. Level with us on the courage of the Iraqi freedom fighter. Don’t mince your words about the cabal of “neocon” Jews who run the US government through the Project for a New American Century at the bequest of Ariel Sharon. I want to know why the elite Army Corps of Engineers blew up the levees in New Orleans. Or how Bushitler was passing out blankets filled with small pox to evacuees at the Superdome. Or why the FBI is moving the furniture in your house when you go to the store. And finally, why we should Free Mumia, the Cuban Five and Jamil Al-Amin.

The End of the Democratic Party begins tomorrow. And we’re all going to be better for it.

Football Friday

I just keep getting worse and worse. While Mr. Loud-Mouth-Look-At-Me-My-Football-Picks-Are-Always-Right-Mac-Stansbury continues to rub it in. Bastard.

I went 2/5 in both pro and semi-pro last week, which absoultely sucks. At least when I suck, I suck on all levels. In regard to the anemic offensive performance by my beloved Vols last week, my dad had a good point. He said, “everyone is talking about all this great talent coming back, but no one has pointed out the horrible news that the coaching staff is returning as well.” And when Randy Sanders is steering the offensive ship, it’s gonna get ugly and stay ugly.

This, and a depleted offensive line, is why LSU will beat up on the Orange Monday night 24-14. Our defense will hang in there, as they’re all we have to count on, but in the end, it will be the same offense that has ranked in the 60’s and 70’s nationally for the last several years. Elsewhere in semi-pro ball:

  • Notre Dame 33 Washington 10 – The Irish are going to make Ty Willingham pay for what he did to the program for the past several years.
  • Bama 36 Razorbacks 13 – I hear they’re calling Alabama QB Brodie Croyle “Vanilla Vick.” Sounds pretty racist to me. Somebody call one of the Race Reverends and get them to Tuscaloosa quick.
  • Vanderbilt 28 Richmond 13 – Vandy at 4-0? I’ll have to pull for the Richmond Spiders, simply because they’re called the Spiders, which makes them scary. However, I didn’t know Richmond had a football team – I thought they were just a basketball school.
  • USC 44 Oregon 15 – Watching USC this year, you’d have to think they could beat the Arizona Cardinals. They’re that good. In fact, I’m a little glad that Tennessee is pretty much out of the chase for the national title, because I wouldn’t want to play USC this year.

In pro ball, I was quite proud of the Titans for hanging 25 points on the Ravens’ defense last week. For those of us who have watched the Ravens beat up on the Titans since 2000, this was a very gratifying win. I will never forget that depressing Monday night a few years ago, drunken and dejected, leaving Adelphia after losing to the Ravens at the end of the game. I hate Brian Billick and the Ravens. Bastards.

This week, the Titans could run into trouble in St. Louis, but I’m optimistic they’ll pull out an ugly win, 22 – 17 over the Rams. Elsewhere in pro ball:

  • Carolina 26 Miami 20 – Nice win over the Pats last week for the Panthers. They may be hitting a hot streak as a result.
  • Pittsburgh 24 New England 21 – Speaking of the Pats, the Steelers have something to prove this week, and having New England at home will be motivating. Starting 1-2 will be a wake-up call for the Pats, though, so they’re not going to stay down for long.
  • Colts 23 Browns 10 – Feel free to take a nap during this one.
  • Cincinnati 29 Chicago 17 – The Bengals are back, baby. Ken Anderson will throw for 400 yards and Archie Griffin will grind out 150 yards on the ground for the resurgent Orange and Black.

That’s it for this week. Now I’ll sit back and wait for Mac to chime in and tell me what’s wrong with all my picks.

Speed IV



Story now declining in hilarity. Up to 24 dead.

A Dallas County Sheriff’s Department official told FOX News that the bus had been carrying elderly evacuees from coastal areas expected to be hit by the giant hurricane.

He said sparks from the bus’s brakes may have ignited oxygen tanks being carried onboard by elderly passengers with respiratory problems.

Where were you during this disaster, President Bush!? Is this your idea of Social Security reform? Getting rid of a busload of seasoned citizens? Did you have some of your Texas cronies pull this off!?!? WHERE WAS FEMA WHEN THIS HAPPENED?!?!?


Citizens of Houston: Hurricane Rita is coming. Have you not left yet? Perhaps this will get you moving.

That should freak your ass out enough to get you out of town. For the rest of you looter-types who are planning to hang around just to rob, steal, loot, rape, pillage, burn, loiter and whatever the hell else you got away with in New Orleans… think again. The Houston P. D. is armed and ready. And they don’t play.


Rita has now moved the Tennessee/LSU game to 7:30 pm Monday Night (ESPN2). Perhaps during those two extra days, we’ll find an offense.