Let Them Touch My Things!

If there’s one thing this hurricane/flood/American-style-tsunami has brought (besides death and destruction), it’s utter hilarity from show-biz-types!

Let’s look at what the painfully-divorced-from-reality torturous French-Canadian crooner Seleen Dionne had to say about the devastation on Larry King’s celebrity ass-lick bonanza!

I’m waking up in the morning. I’m having a coffee. I barely can swallow it. I come here at Caesar’s Palace every night to perform. I barely can sing. But for respect the people who come I am still singing. (perhaps the greatest tragedy of all… – PTH) When I come home at night, my son is waiting for me. I watch television.

Yes, we gave $1 million but what we expect, what I want to look like the rest of the world, I open the television there’s people still there waiting to be rescued and for me it’s not acceptable. I know there’s reasons for it. I’m sorry to say I’m being rude but I don’t want to hear those reasons.

You know, some people are stealing and they’re making a big deal out of it. Oh, they’re stealing 20 pair of jeans or they’re stealing television sets. Who cares? They’re not going to go too far with it. Maybe those people are so poor, some of the people who do that they’re so poor they’ve never touched anything in their lives. Let them touch those things for once!

The main thing right now it’s not the people who are stealing. It’s the people who are left there and they’re watching helicopters flying over their heads and they’re praying. How come it’s so easy to send planes in another country to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives?

Let my people touch those things for once!

It’s almost as stirring as “let my people go,” but somehow not quite.


  1. Preston, if you’re ever feeling tired, poor, hungry, and/or black, feel free to stop by to touch my things. Consider it a standing offer.

    I guess you could just stay up late one night and meet the criteria for “tired” if nothing else, but THAT’S OK WITH ME.

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  3. I wonder if the invitation to allow the poor to touch things extends to her own home. Is she going to invite the Displaced Persons into Casa IHeartGrandpa to finger her wardrobe, sit on her couch, reprogram her TiVo?:mrgreen:

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