Alito Nominated to US Soprano Court

A confidential informant from NOW’s Fetus Relocation Program is reporting that twin rogue mafia enforcers “Fat Tony” Scalia and Sammy “The Bull” Alito have taken out a contract on the funloving uterii of our nation’s easy women. As if to anger our sfogliatelle-eating Overlords, PFAW has already issued a statement denouncing Sammy The Bull:

President Bush put the demands of his far-right political base above Americans’ constitutional rights and legal protections by nominating federal appeals court Judge Samuel Alito to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, said People For the American Way President Ralph G. Neas. “Right-wing leaders vetoed Miers because she failed their ideological litmus test. With Judge Alito, President Bush has obediently picked a nominee who passes that test with flying colors.”

“It is senators’ duty not to act as rubber stamps for the President’s nominees, but to examine all the evidence about the nominee’s record and make an independent judgment.

Oh, but they should have rubber stamped Miers? Nice save, Neas – you fuggin’ stu cazzo.

The dimmest bulb in Searchlight, Nevada is lost somewhere in the mid-1980s. I’d wager a guess between The Bishop of Battle and Gleaming the Cube:

“The Senate needs to find out if the man replacing Miers is too radical for the American people,” said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada.

Too radical? He’s a judge, not Tony Hawk you punchdrunk, mezza morta soon-to-be ex-minority leader.

This all begs the question: Will he make us eat fish on Friday?
Even though Miers got a free pass on her religion, should we now all live in fear of putting an ash on our foreheads for Lent rather than under an oppressive gynocracy that forces us to bring a casserole to church on Wednesday night and shake a tambourine?


Me? I’ll take the chicken parm. And do notify me of Carmela and Furio’s aborted love child.

UPDATE: The nice doggies over at Ankle Biting Pundits cordially invite everyone to e-mail the judicial usurpers in the “Gang of 14” to push for an up or down vote on Sammy The Bull.


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