This is one of those rare times when I’m kind of glad the football season is winding down – even though I was an almost-respectable 3/5 in semi-pro and 4/5 in the NFL last week.
With the back-to-the-future hiring of David Cutcliffe and merciful dismissal of Jimmy Ray Stephens and Pat Washington, the Vols may or may not be on the road to recovery. I’m not 100% sold on Cutcliffe, but he does have a solid track record. At least this is more than just the window-dressing crap that The Great Pumpkin pulled after the failed 2003 season.
And speaking of the Great Pumpkin, I’m starting to recognize the genius behind the 2005 season. Just like many others in the world of NFL-Farm-League (NCAA) football, Fulmer realized that this season belonged to USC from the very beginning. UCLA isn’t going to beat them this weekend and they’re going to brutalize Texas in the National Championship game. You know it, I know it, the American people know it.
Realizing this, Fulmer and his cohorts hatched an evil plan to phone in the 2005 season. The players followed their fearless leader’s example and phoned it in as well. No one really wanted to face USC this post-season. I, for one, celebrate Fulmer’s foresight in devising this plot and I thank him for allowing us to avoid big-time bowl humiliation, much as we’ve suffered in the past to the likes of Nebraska, Kansas State, Clemson and (ugh) Maryland. Thanks, Coach!
This weekend’s big games as we say goodnight and goodbye to the college football season:
- USC 37 UCLA 28 – I’d LOVE to see the Bruins pull this one out, but I just don’t think it’s going to happen.
- Georgia 29 LSU 22 – Yeah, I know LSU is 10-1, but I still don’t think they’re all that. They did lose to Tennessee, remember.
- Texas 59 Colorado 12 – Since the Puffs don’t stand a chance, I’d kind of enjoy watching Texas hang 100 on them. But if Texas sleepwalks through this one like they did last week, they’ll only win by 25 or so.
- Va Tech 39 Florida State 17 – Florida State really is horrible.
- Army 24 Navy 21 – I’m just glad they don’t let them use munitions during this one.
On to the NFL… I couldn’t have been more incorrect about the Chiefs/Patriots game. New England can thank their lucky stars that they’re in the shittiest division in the AFC. They’re 6-5 and STILL comfortably in the division lead over Buffalo, Miami and the Jets. If they were in a real division, they could be in trouble.
I really wanted to pick the Titans over the Colts this weekend. But after giving it more than a moment’s thought, there is no escaping the conclusion that Indy will win handily, 41-21. If our secondary wasn’t so young, I’d consider giving the Titans a chance, but it’s just not going to happen. But remember, if it does happen, you almost heard it here first! Elsewhere…
- Da Bears 30 Packers 10 – Looks like the Bears are for real. The defense is starting to bring back memories of the 2000 Ravens. Without all the stabbing.
- Carolina 27 Ron Mexico 17 – All Atlanta has is Ron Mexico. I’m optimistic that the Panthers will take advantage of that. I’m also hopeful that a couple of Panthers cheerleaders will take advantage of each other this weekend. Preferably on video.
- Denver 33 Kansas City 30 – Yeah, I know I sold KC short last week. But this rivalry game will bring out the best in the Broncos. Plus Christian Okoye just isn’t himself these days.
- Giants 27 Cowpokes 20 – How would you like to be Giants’ placekicker Jay Feely after his 3-miss collapse last weekend in Seattle? I’m really surprised he’s still on the team this week. Anyhoo, they’ll bounce back against the Cowboys this weekend.