Merry Ramahanakwanzmas

I usually don’t post stupid e-mail forwards that people send me, but this one made me chuckle. And since it’s Christmas, what the hell. From said stupid e-mail:

FOR MY DEMOCRAT FRIENDS & FAMILY:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

FOR MY REPUBLICAN FRIENDS & FAMILY:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

15 comments

  1. Preston,

    Not every Democrat is waging a War on christmas, (which is a fake war anyway), and not every Republican is a theist. You’re blanket labeling of a whole group of people should show you and the readers of this site that you are applying a stereotype. Which is small minded, even for a teenager.

    Oh, and it’s not as though there is a god in the first place. Never was, and never will be. The fact that there is evil in the world, evil wich hurts even god’s most ardent followers, shows that god is either impotent to do anything, or is itself evil.

    Happy Holidays Preston, you racist, greedy, overtly religious because you’re a week minded and scared child.

  2. yo NaR,

    Well really, cheesedick, who gives a fuck what not every so-and-so is or isn’t. And who gives another fuck about stereotyping and being small-minded?

    So you’re judging a group of people (6MB readers) based on your perceived notions of their statistical actions? Who’s the small-minded pigfucker now, huh?

    And no, we probably don’t care if you’re small-minded, but the fact that you and the rest of the Leftist Degenerates out there lack the cojones to admit to your small-mindedness instead of embracing it and controlling it? You hypocritical bastards make me proud to be a loud, crude, politically incorrect, and uncouth insensitive asshole living in the Bluest region in the Bluest state.

    I for one will not stand beside Preston in wishing you a merry christmas.

    Merry Go-Fuck-Yourself and a Happy Get-Bent.

    Love,
    Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

  3. as the Conservativist, Christianist person any of ya’ll know, I can say, without a doubt, that I have never, not once, got the feeling that 6MB was a place where I could express my love of Jesus, and the thankfulness that God forgave my sins and whatnot.

    so, I think you need to change what you said to “racist, greedy, NOT overtly religious because you’re a week minded and scared child.” don’t believe Vinnie, all us RethugiKKKans are all that stuff. except the overtly religious. I’m the only one of them.

  4. NaR said: “overtly religious”

    Overtly religious? As opposed to a closet believer?

    “Mom, Dad, I have something shocking to tell you. I believe in God. Please don’t be mad.”

    I guess if you are Democrat and you believe in God, you have to keep your faith a secret.

    Merry Christmas, Preston!

    Overtly,
    Bob

  5. “Not every Democrat is waging a War on christmas” – Yes they are

    “it’s not as though there is a god in the first place” – Yes there is, you are here on the earth correct?

    “evil wich hurts even god’s most ardent followers” – Survival of the fittest (you are next)

    “Happy Holidays Preston” – It is Christmas jackass, check your calendar

    “scared child” – OK, 1 for 10 aint bad 🙂

    MERRY CHRISTMAS all!

  6. Jihad Jimmy, I love the way you rise to the task of representing what is wrong with the neo-con population. Your hate filled rant only serves to alienate the middle of the road folks. That is exactly what your lord and master Bush has been trying to do. Create a polarized nation, underscore the fears and differences and confuse the issues so that while we are screaming hate filled rhetoric at each other, his criminal orginization can destroy America by robbing us of our self respect, resources and integrity, sending us headlong into a state of panic, fear and hate for everyone who dares to express a dissenting view. You are No patriot. Your mind is wasted by fear, hate and dispair. If anyone needs to get in touch with the message of Christmas it is you.
    As for the liberal war on Christmas, it is exactly the opposite. It is actually a Christian war on all other religions. There is an attempt being made to destroy the holiday season. Christmas was stolen from the pagans who celebrated the solstice. What do you think a yule log is for? No not cramming up your ass… It is a pagan tradition. Today Christmas is a marketing strategy. Nothing more. You are a putz.
    Happy Holidays asshats

  7. Whatever, pigfucker!

    My renewed South Park Republicanism is distinctly and solely traced back to the Liberals here in the lovely Bay Area. I was happily politically agnostic, until you fucktards had to polarize the nation with your blind allegiance to a shitty Democruddy Party.

    It’s not my party which gets a hard on at this Politics of Division. Sadly, my political contemporaries even have enough faith in the human race that we think that a degenerate like yourself is capable of reform and rehabilitation.

    And oh yeah, it’s them wacky Christians flying planes into buildings chock-full of civilians. It’s Christians cutting the heads off of hostages. It’s the Christians calling for the extermination of the Jews.

    Grow up, you ignoramus. As a reward for your insolence? I will make ten San Francisco liberals shed tears through my covert, guerilla republicanism. This is the only way you degenerates will learn.

  8. Well, I being a non-religious liberal found the post hillarious. I do not think any of you little fuckers have any right to judge him from his post. You are too serious and have a stick lodged up your ass. You are the reason America is a regressing country. Kudos to you Preston. If anyone has a problem with my post or just wants to say something, feel free to write me. DyslexicHippie@aol.com

  9. Oh yes and I guess you retards can’t read. He posted this because it made him chuckle.

    “I usually don’t post stupid e-mail forwards that people send me, but this one made me chuckle. And since it’s Christmas, what the hell. From said stupid e-mail:”

  10. As the lone 6MB atheist, the left just needs to shut the fuck up and leave Christmas the hell alone. Easter too for that matter.

    Atheists aren’t “middle of the road” people. We are a distinct minority of the people. Islam is not very tolerant towards the atheist. Christianity is. They can tolerate me and, in turn, I tolerate a paid day off from work, spiral-sliced Honeybaked Ham and presents.

    We used to get Columbus Day off until they bitched about it with their PC bullshit so much that now it’s only recognized as Ethnic Cleansing Day. If I lose more more g——-d day off I’m going to get so down with JC’s program that I’ll push for a Christian Caliphate that’s going to make the the 700 Club look like a bunch of sissy Universal Unitarians.

    Secularism doesn’t bring any paid days off to the bargaining table. Until it does,
    kindly fuck off, and bless us everyone.

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