Christmas is only three days away! Have you gotten all your shopping done for those lefties in your life? I mean, besides buying them those big CHOOSE LIFE t-shirts that Wham! used to wear.
Fear not, for I bring you good tidings of The Twelve Days of Christmas: Last Minute Gift Ideas for Liberals, Day Ten!
Today’s gift: Monopoly: Eminent Domain Special Edition!
You may remember playing classic Monopoly as a youngster. Sure the games took forever, but remember the fun you had buying property, setting up houses and hotels? Remember the pride you took in actually owning property and protecting that property from interlopers?
Well, in the new Monopoly Eminent Domain Edition, you can take as much pride in your property as you want, but remember – in today’s version, that property is temporary. Thanks to SCOTUS’ Kelo decision, this new game version reflects the new American reality that, as long as a developer wants your land and government wants more tax revenue, your property can taken on a whim, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!
Roll the dice and buy this lovely property in Fort Trumbull.
But lookout! That property is in New London, Connecticut, where the city government and local developers now have the Federal green light to take your property so that they can put up an office plaza for a pharmaceutical company! When the city needs more tax revenue, it’s time for you to hit the bricks, sister.
Maybe you’re running a little low on Monopoly Money and you need to find some affordable housing. Really affordable housing. You could do a lot worse than Riviera Beach, Florida. Sure, the area is a bit run down, but you’ve got a hell of a view. Not so fast, homeowner! Mayor Fatso wants to toss your poor ass out into the street so that he can build beachside condos and restaurants for people who do have a lot of Monopoly Money! You lose!
It’s not all bad news, playing Monopoly: Eminent Domain Edition. If you get really lucky, you might roll the dice and have the option of landing on Cilley Hill Road in Weare, New Hampshire. This will give you the opportunity to tear down David Souter’s run-down shack and put up a Lost Liberty Hotel. It’s in the community’s best interest, you know.
Monopoly Eminent Domain is sweeping the country! Now that the flood gates are open, there’s barely a state or local municipality that isn’t jumping in on the fun! And you may get to play as well – whether you want to or not!
- Day Nine: Don’t Spill the Beans
- Day Eight: The Official Survivor: Katrina Board Game
- Day Seven: Planned Parenthood Abortion Gift Certificates
- Day Six: Inflatable Nanny State Companion Doll
- Day Five: Simon! Abu Ghraib Signature Edition
- Day Four: The Race Card Game
- Day Three: Stratego For Democrats
- Day Two: Bill Frist’s Operation!
- Day One: The Ted Kennedy Bathtub Playset