Before I start, let me just say, there are so many good reasons to hate Seattle.
There’s the Seahawks, who I’ve hated ever since Jim Zorn was unfairly run out of town on a rail. He was the only QB in the league at the time whose last name started with a Z, and that alone should have preserved his starting spot.
There’s also the constant rain. It’s no wonder all the grunge rockers in the early nineties wore flannel and played depressing minor chords. Then you have Starbucks, the Supersonics, Frazier, the Space Needle and countless hippies masquerading as urban hipsters drinking $8 lattes.
But now there’s a new reason to hate Seattle – the Recycling Nazis. If you live in Seattle proper, recycling is MANDATORY. And in 2006, they’ve started enforcing this leftist big-brother program by going through your trash and making sure there are no recycleables in your refuse.
Sounds like utter madness, but it’s true.
Seattle’s new enforcement plan for garbage and recycling means trash collectors are now lifting the lid on garbage cans and dumpsters to see if homeowners and businesses are putting too much paper, cardboard, cans or other recyclables out with the regular garbage. The city has set a limit that says no more than 10 percent of the total garbage should contain recyclable materials.
Businesses in violation receive two warnings, followed by a $50 fine. Homeowners will not be fined but will have garbage left behind a week. So far, since the start of the new program, about 10 homeowners a day are coming home to garbage that has not been picked up.
This gives common sense a bad name. Give people an incentive or a discount if they do it right. Don’t leave smelly, week-old trash lying around.
In fairness, trash collectors are not snooping through individual garbage bags. They are eyeballing contents of garbage cans.
So you’ll either be slapped with a fine or have your trash sitting out for another week if you don’t comply with the Recycling Nazis.
I find it so delightfully ironic that the bedwetters on the left cry like colicky infants when the Feds listen in on phone calls to terrorists, but have no problem with the government coming and sniffing through your trash to make sure you’re in compliance with their little program.
So, Seattle, let me help you out. In the Holmes’ household we have a little saying: One World, One Trash Can. You’ll find plenty of recycleables in our trash, and that’s where they’ll stay – in honor of the Seattle Recycling Nazis.
Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….