Great Moments in Olympic History

Well, the Olympics are back. There are quite a few things I would rather do than watch the Olympics – including, but not limited to, cramming my foot into a meat grinder until there’s nothing left but a bloody stump hanging from exposed bone and tissue. But despite my tendency to hurl violently upon the arrival of each Olympics season, it got me thinking – what are some of my favorite all-time Olympic moments?

So, here’s the first in a multi-part series, unless I forget to do any more, in which case, it will be the first of a single-part series.

Jan 6, 1994 – Detroit, Michigan – Unknown assailant whacks figure-skater Nancy Kerrigan on the knee with crowbar.

The attack happened as Ms Kerrigan, who won a bronze medal in the 1992 Olympics, was leaving the ice after a practice session at Cobo Hall, Detroit.

An eye-witness said: “Before she could say anything, a guy ran by, crouched down, whacked her on the knee and kept running.

“Nancy just dropped and started screaming and sobbing.”

Ms Kerrigan’s agent, Jerry Solomon said: “Nancy sustained quite a blow, physically and mentally.”

For those of you who have forgotten, it turned out that the assault was part of an evil plot hatched by rival skater and future amateur porn star Tonya Harding.

Tonya Harding, 23, went on to win the US Ladies Figure Skating Championship finals in Detroit. But within days police began investigating allegations that the attack had been arranged and carried out by associates of Ms Harding.

Ms Harding’s former husband, Jeff Gillooly, her bodyguard, Shawn Eckardt, and two other men were charged with conspiracy but the skater herself denied any involvement in the plot.

Eventually she admitted trying to cover up the Kerrigan attack and was fined $100,000 and given three years’ probation.

Personally, I think the whole thing was a pro-wrestling-style work to ramp up interest in the tedious sport of figure skating. That’s probably why I enjoyed the incident as much as I did.

Kerrigan went on to win the Silver. Harding went on to… well…


  1. Why is it always funny when someone says that name “Gillooly”? Why is it funny to me every time I hear one of those Tanya Harding 911 domestic distubance calls?! This is just another reason that sets us as a nation apart from the rest in the world. Our mental midgets are the best!

    BTW – It was Shane Stanton that laid the pipe to that ingrate, Nancy Kerrigan’s knee.

  2. Absolutely not, YS. Even I have standards.

    I love that you called Kerrigan an ingrate. After her disastrous appearance on Saturday Night Live shortly thereafter, I was hoping that someone would come out and take out her other knee.

  3. I can’t find a story, but I heard on the radio that Tanya is going to the Olympics as a ‘reporter’ for Entertainment Tonight.

    That’s pretty darn funny.

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