You had me at:
So much for foreign policy. On to domestic issues. I know that many people are nervous that the Patriot Act might encroach too much on civil liberties. You know what? I don’t care. I’m here to rule you plebes with an iron fist, not give a squirt of piss about your precious little civil liberties. If you’ve got a problem with that, I’ll be more than happy to buy you a plane ticket to Bolivia. Which I will then bomb.
UNRELATED: The Holmes clan and I will be signing autographs at Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies in Gatlinburg today. If I run into you, I’ll let you buy me a souvenir t-shirt.