Month: October 2006

Little Donkeys Are Lining Up Behind This?

After decades of attacking the so-called religious right, the Dim-O-Cracks are hopping aboard the “we love the Lord more than you love the Lord” mantra? Oh, well. Anything to win, I suppose.

My friend Lincoln Davis who chairs our campaign says there are, there’s one big difference between us and misfortunate Republicans when it comes to our faith: he said that Republicans fear the Lord; he said Democrats fear AND love the Lord.

It’s so nice to see the Donks hop on the God Squad. It would be even nicer if it was some type of sincere demonstration of faith instead of the usual Clintonesque say-whatever-we-think-will-get-us-elected political jockeying. The next time I hear some dimwitted Tennessee leftist complain about Bushitler’s Theocratic Monarchy, I am going to be forced to remind them that Harold Gotti Jr. says they better FEAR and LOVE the Lord, or they’ll be lookin’ down the barrel of Uncle John’s shotgun before they can say hallelujah.

(Via Insty)

Before The “Peace Mom”

There was Michael Berg. Berg, as you may recall had a real cool son named Nick who was murdered in Iraq. Nick Berg was a telecommunications expert and an entrepeneur who went there to help rebuild the infrastructure. While there, he was abducted and murdered by Iraqi terrorists.

I knew nothing about Nick except that he apparently was nothing like his insane father Michael – one of those souls so committed to “peace” and “social justice” that he subscribes to Communism.

After his son’s murder, he penned this lunacy for the Guardian. Note how the terrorists are actually better than George Bush because they had a chance to look into his eyes before cutting his son’s head off.

People ask me why I focus on putting the blame for my son’s tragic and atrocious end on the Bush administration. They ask: “Don’t you blame the five men who killed him?” I have answered that I blame them no more or less than the Bush administration, but I am wrong: I am sure, knowing my son, that somewhere during their association with him these men became aware of what an extraordinary man my son was. I take comfort that when they did the awful thing they did, they weren’t quite as in to it as they might have been. I am sure that they came to admire him.

I am sure that the one who wielded the knife felt Nick’s breath on his hand and knew that he had a real human being there. I am sure that the others looked into my son’s eyes and got at least a glimmer of what the rest of the world sees. And I am sure that these murderers, for just a brief moment, did not like what they were doing.

George Bush never looked into my son’s eyes. George Bush doesn’t know my son, and he is the worse for it.

So why am I rehashing this old news? Well, it appears that it’s relevant again.


If the Democratic party doesn’t offer enough high grade batsh*t crazy, you can vote the Green Party candidate, Michael Berg.

If you’re wondering how the campaign is going, here is a typical scene of Green conduct.

At a recent political debate at Brandywine High School, Michael Berg tried to speak.

Berg, the father of Nicholas Berg (have we already forgotten who he was?), went to the stage and asked out loud where his seat was.

The forum moderator ignored his question and continued to call the debate to order.

Mr. Berg repeated his question and the forum moderator told him that he and other third-party candidates for office were not invited to attend the forum.

A rumbling began from all corners of the auditorium. Shocked at the disrespect this candidate was receiving, I raised my voice and said, “Michael, just grab a chair!” And that is what he did.

Michael Berg, after putting a bumper sticker across his mouth, was escorted from the forum by a New Castle County police officer. When the moderator stated that if the audience members could not show the other candidates the respect deserved, that they too could leave.

The Untriumphant Return of Football Friday

It’s been a crazy few weeks. Ever since MKH lost her bet (for which she has yet to pay up… wink wink…), it seems like I’ve been on the road and more out-of-touch than usual. But, weep no more, Football Friday freaks, the picks you use to bet against are back.

This week, we’ll make it quick and get straight to it. First, my beloved Large Orange, who are, inexplicably, 6-1 at this stage in the season, will hammer the South Carolina Gamecocks, 39-17.

Why the confidence, which flies in the face of any Fulmer team taking on Steve Superior? Simple, we’re on the road. We don’t play worth a crap at home, which is why we lost to Florida and why we’ll probably lose to LSU. We play well when we don’t have to deal with our own weak home field, with its octogenarian-filled stadium, which has become about as intimidating as Carson-Newman Stadium in Jefferson City.

We play well on the road because at most other SEC stadiums, there are fans who actually make noise and get involved in the game – at Tennessee, the fans are too busy changing their depends or talking on their cell phones to be bothered with the game.

Elsewhere in the NCAA….

  • Florida 44, Georgia 14Georgia is horrible. Sorry, MKH.
  • Nebraska 34, Okie St 21Vinnie’s boys will bring the hammer down.
  • Georgia Tech 30, Miami State Correctional Facility 12Miami’s only hope in this one is that another bench-clearing brawl will end the game early.
  • Kentucky 1, Mississippi St. 0Only a Randy Sanders-guided offense could figure out a way to only score one point against the hapless Bulldawgs.

In the big leagues, the Mighty Titans continue their winning streak. I was proud of them for knocking off the Redskins, I just haven’t had time to call them and tell them. This week, the winning streak continues against the Texas Texans, Titans win 22-19. Elsewhere…

  • Steelers 31 Oakland 17The Raiders are just what the doctor ordered for the ailing Steelers. Last week’s Pitt/Atl game was one of the best games I’ve seen in years. It was also one of the only games I’ve actually been able to sit down and watch in years.
  • Colts 29 Broncos 17Peyton just has the Broncos’ number.
  • Vikings 33 Patsies 27I don’t think the Pats will be able to knock off the Vikings in the dome, but it should be a good game. I’m glad it’s a night game so I can watch it.
  • Carolina 26 Dallas 20Just who the hell is Tony Romo? And as long as Jerry Jones’ personnel decisions result in Terrell Owens being a loser, I’m all for ’em.

That’s it for this week. I’m seriously considering live-blogging the South Carolina game Saturday night since I’ll be home watching it anyway, so stand by for announcements regarding this potentially exciting non-event!

Four Firefighters Killed By Arsonist, California Officials Pledge “Justice”

Four firefighters were killed yesterday fighting a California wildfire that was allegedly set by arsonist(s).

CABAZON, Calif. — Four firefighters were killed yesterday when a fast-moving arson fire fed by Santa Ana winds charged through the rugged, wild terrain of Riverside County, destroying homes and forcing hundreds of residents to flee.

The Esperanza fire burned more than 10,000 acres near Cabazon, 90 miles east of Los Angeles and about 20 miles northwest of Palm Springs.

Fueled by dry wood, high temperatures, and winds gusting to more than 30 miles per hour, the blaze burned out of control despite the efforts of more than 700 firefighters . The fire was reported about 1:10 a.m.

“This is an arson fire . . . A deliberately set arson fire that leads to the death of anyone constitutes murder,” Chief John Hawkins told reporters. Hawkins is head of the Riverside County Fire Department, which is part of the state’s fire agency.

The county will offer a $100,000 reward to find the arsonist, officials said.

The fire continues to burn out of control this morning.

Regarding the arsonist(s), California officials are stating that this is now a murder investigation. And, as is the case with murderers in California, the murderer(s) in question will receive the harshest punishment possible under California law – nine months in prison and one year probation, followed by a 12:00 curfew and no television for six weeks.

Walk, Don’t Run

Or is it the other way around?

Anyhoo, Mrs. Holmes and I are running in the Komen Race for the Cure on Saturday morning at the crack of dawn in the damn rain. But, it’s for a good cause, so I’m not weaseling out, I promise….

I was supposed to spend most of October training for the race, but instead of training, I wound up eating a lot of fatty foods and drinking a lot of vodka. It will undoubtedly take several hours to reach the finish line.

If you’d like to donate to Knoxville’s chapter and support the fight against breast cancer, you can do it here. I’d post a link to our “official” donation page, but that would blow this whole Preston Taylor Holmes thing, now wouldn’t it. You can also find your local race and donate locally here.

For those of you real life people who have donated and helped us pass our goal, thanks!


Race update… The rain held off. There were a ton of people down there and (despite my cantankerous demeanor) it was a fun event. Once we got out of the massive pack of people at the starting line, the Mrs. and I actually ran the whole thing, which is why I’m in such discomfort right now.

Let’s just say that when you find yourself jogging past cancer survivors, people wearing signs that said In Memory Of So-and-So and a guy with an artificial leg, you’re humbled pretty quick. In addition to the exercise, it was a good reminder of what’s important in life.

Whenever they get the photo gallery up, I’ll post a link, provided I’m not in any of the pictures, of course.

I Mean, Really… Come On….

So, Mr. Harold “Lookie At Me, I Go To Church” Ford Jr. went to a Playboy party? So did he or didn’t he?

In Ford’s own words, he told interviewer George Stephanopoulos a couple of Sundays ago, “I’ve never been to a Playboy mansion party.”

In a September interview on WVLZ-AM in East Tennessee, Ford was asked by a listener about the party and he said, “Yeah, when I was at the Super Bowl one year, I believe I was at a party that, that Hugh Hefner or somebody from Playboy may have been at. … I was at a party where I learned later … that Hugh Hefner may have been there.” A transcript of the interview on The Voice radio show was released by the Tennessee Republican Party.

If this is Corker’s ace in the hole, the GOP is in trouble. Even if he did attend a party where sweet-assed bunnies were hopping about.

The first Republican commercial to mention the party began airing Oct. 3 by the National Republican Senatorial Committee. It played off a Ford campaign commercial, filmed in Ford’s Memphis church, by saying, “So what kind of man parties with Playboy playmates in lingerie, then films commercials from a church pew?”

The latest commercial to feature the Playboy party began running last Friday by the Republican National Committee. This ad takes shots at some of Ford’s most liberal votes in Congress and includes a woman, presumably an actress, saying, “I met Harold at the Playboy party.”

Hell, knowing that Ford may have attended a Playboy party and that “he likes football and he likes girls” makes me like him a little bit more. Still not enough to vote for him, but at least we share the same affection for football and girls. In the unlikely event that Ford is elected, we’ll know that we have at least one heterosexual in the Senate. Oh well, I’ll probably still vote for Corker when I early vote on Friday.

Video at (where else?) Hot Air.


Kelvin Moxley provides this link to the original Ford Jr. interview. If you’re in the Knoxville area, you should tune into Lloyd & Kelvin on 1180 am when you can (I believe they’re on in the mornings before Basilio’s show). I’ve tuned in many times and it’s good stuff.

Didja Get The Memo? We ARE Going To Stage A Coup!

You think the last six years of the Bush Regime was great? Well, hang on to your jack boots, cause the next thirty will be awesome!

Yep, we’re here to stay. Except for the last bastions of democracy in Hollywood, Manhattan and Berkeley, we are gonna take the country for keeps.

Just ask Norman Lear’s wife:

All week I’ve been reading in disparate sources from Drudge to US News and World Report about Bush, Rove and Cheney being overly confident about the midterm elections. Even Republican strategists are increasingly concerned because the White House doesn’t have a plan if they lose. This lack of planning shouldn’t surprise anyone, but if you really think about it a creepy, crawly feeling grows in your gut.

Here are some questions: Are these guys simply narcissistic idiots Rove-ing around in some never-never land bubble or do they know something we don’t? Have they planned a grab bag nose punch of an October/November surprise? Or have Diebold, ES&S, and local state secretaries assured them that they will do “whatever it takes” to get a Republican Congress elected again?

Well? What about that, eh? The Democrats can only lose by Rethug malfeasance. Just like 2000.

Damn, as a Neocon, sometimes I scare myself.

So what is their next move? You guess it. Take to the streets!

Therefore we should all be on alert. If for whatever reason we don’t win back Congress in November the only real answer will be to take to the streets.

Kids, they’re not screwing around. We’re talking open revolt.

We must keep them down. When you see Boobs, Not Bombs on your lilly-white suburban street, please, shoot first, throw up later.