Stream of Consciousness Thoughts While Watching the BCS Championship Game

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Florida driving again and I’m tired of typing. I’m going to go enjoy this game without the trappings of a laptop. Good evening to you, ladies and gentlemen. May you avoid the fate that these birds suffered. Plenty more birds where those came from anyway.


OSU defense holds Florida and forces puntage. 9:39 to go in the 2nd and the tide could be turning. Additionally, here is an editorial by a tree.



Uh oh, looks like the Florida defense just got impeached. OSU punches it in quickly, Gaytors now only up 21-14. Heh – speaking of impeached – did any of you pants-shitting Frisco freaks attend the impeach on the beach? They got Zombietimed too.


Why is it that every time I go to Beth’s place, it looks different? This frightens and confuses me.


End of Quarter One – the OSU offense has been bottled up like so much ketchup, Gay-tors moving at will and poised to go up 21-7 at the beginning of the 2nd. On an unrelated note, one of my contacts in New York City just tipped me off to the source of that mysterious smell that engulfed Manhattan today. Seems that during a pause in a taping of The View, Rosie O’Donnell unexpectedly changed her pants, releasing a stench unlike anything NYC hazmat workers have ever encountered. Whoops, touchdown Florida. Gay-tors on top, 21-7.


Looks like the glare of the Heistman Trophy was in Troy Smith’s eyes for that last throw. Interception – Gay-tor ball.



Maybe some of you can answer this for me. When a bunch of professional goat rapists go on a hunger strike, why do we bother to force feed them? Shouldn’t we allow them their truest expression of despair and protest and allow them to expire from their own refusal to eat? I believe that’s how we can best honor these victims. Honor their hunger strike. Don’t force feed them. Respect their right to choose.


Nearly 10 minutes into this game and I’ve yet to see the Ohio State defense actually make a tackle. 14-7, Gay-tors.


Killer bees in New Orleans? Where ARE YOU GEORGE BUSH!???!!!


If Woody Hayes were here, he’d take a stick and jab it in Smith’s facemask for that sack. 4th down, Gay-tors ball.


I will say that I’m pulling for the Gay-tors, only because the Big Ten is 10 lbs of horseshit in a 5 lb bag. And you damn well know it, so don’t even bring that shit up in here. Nice facemask by the Ohio State kicker, Florida putting together a nice first offensive drive. Speaking of offensive, between the Governator having CAIR’s balls in his mouth and pushing for socialized medicine, he’s proudly hoisting the GOP colors, isn’t he? At least he can only do damage to California, a state the rest of us have written off long ago. (sorry, annika)
Touchdown Gators – up yours, Eddie George. 7-7.


Opening kickoff, 7-0, OSU. Damn, that was fast.


Holy crap, they’ve got John “The Jaw” McCain out there for the coin toss. Oh beloved enemy of free speech, how deftly you tossed the golden coin! This is the first step to the 2008 GOP nomination, I can feel it in my pants. Speaking of feeling it in my pants, nothing gets the engine running like blown up islamofascists. Unfortunately, now that the Donks are in power, all we’ll see are missiles lobbed at empty aspirin factories in Africa, so don’t get too excited.


There really isn’t much sense of excitement without the threat of Woody Hayes smashing one of his players in the mouth on the sidelines, but I guess I’ll watch for a little while.

6 comments

  1. If the “Openly Gay-Tors” win the National Championship in Football, i’m going to be sick. It was too much to stomach my Bruins getting their asses handed to them last April by none other than Yanick Noah’s kid (a damn Frenchy!) and that really gay scrunchie he puts in his nest.

  2. Damn, that game sucked. Went over to a friend’s house to enjoy some steaks and watch the game. Ended up playing with the cat.

    Go Chargers.

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