I know it’s early for predictions for Pimp of The Year but once in a great while you find a candidate so worthy as to make an exception.
Pimp Of The Year – 21 year old Nathaniel Abraham now free to dress like Iceberg Slim.
Nathaniel Abraham was already elbow deep into his Li’l Bastard Toolbox when he killed Ronnie Greene in 1997. At age 11, he had already been a suspect in at least twenty-two different crimes ranging from kid stuff like burglary all the way to grown-up stuff like assaulting people with metal pipes. As one of the youngest convicted murderers in US history, Abraham was a cause cÃ©lÃ¨bre for activists willing to highlight “how the system failed” poor Nathaniel. Not Nathaniel failing Nathaniel. Not Nathaniel’s mother failing Nathaniel. And especially not how the system was getting ready to fail the now deceased Ronnie Greene.
But by now you know the old trope – there wasn’t enough Midnight Basketball for Poor Nathaniel. And when there isn’t enough Midnight Basketball then people die.
Fast forward a scant 8 years and Abraham is back on the street. Easy Street that is:
PONTIAC — Yesterday, Nathaniel Abraham was a convicted murderer. Today he greets the morning a free man celebrating his 21st birthday — with a furnished Bay City apartment paid for by Michigan taxpayers.
Abraham, who was 11 when he shot and killed 18-year-old Ronnie Greene in Pontiac, plans to re-enroll in classes at Delta College, where the state also will foot the tuition bill for the next four years.
The Kiss of White Guilt
Not to disparage all of the fine people working (and paying) on their undergrads at Delta but getting through admissions must have been murder. From Delta’s homepage they offer a glimpse into their public mission:
I will take that to include your own personal parole officer while pursuing your Bachelor’s in Pimpology with double minors in Court Reporting and Gun Repair. It’s always important to remember that the Freshman 10 is what gets you, Nate Dog, so keep your plate right when getting your taxpayer subsidized eat on.
Abraham, an aspiring rapper, thanked the judge for having faith in him despite nay-sayers who said he would never succeed in life.
“I’m going to make the best of it.”
Greene’s family, however, remained unconvinced.
Nichole Edwards, Ronnie Greene’s sister, said whatever progress Abraham has made won’t bring her brother back.
“All we have is a cemetery plot to go to,” she said.
She does not feel Abraham is remorseful or has truly been rehabilitated.
“One of my biggest fears is that he will get out and cause someone else grief,” she said.
That means you fellow Delta undergrads. Other members of Nate’s family hilariously and unintentionally contradict his affirmation to “make the best of it” though:
Michelle Peoples-Dudley, Abraham’s older sister, talked to her brother last week and asked him what he planned to do on his birthday.
“He told me ‘I’m not going to do anything. I’m free. I’m just going to relax. I don’t have to worry about anyone saying ‘It’s time to wake up’ on my birthday. I get to do what I want and I’m just going to relax.’â€‚”
Let’s all pour our collective 40’s on the the curb for Ronnie Greene who has been maxin’ and relaxin’ in a Michigan cemetery for the past ten years while Nathaniel Abraham has miraculously parlayed shooting him in the head to a free apartment and a four year scholarship to college.
Nathaniel Abraham – you are my selection for 2007’s Pimp of The Year.
“PIMP HAND STRONG” UPDATE: Annika was kind enough to turn out the Flyguy youtube-ry. Pat your little feet on the concrete and get to steppin’.