It’s that time of year. There’s a smell in the air. And it’s not just the usual smell of feet. It’s the smell of pigskin flying through the air, end-over-end and through the uprights. It’s the sound of necks breaking on gridirons from coast to coast. It’s the time of year for Senators to leave the glory holes of Summer behind and get back to Washington to rob us of more income and freedom.
It’s also that time of year when it gets cooler in the mornings and the wasps crawl around on the ground because it’s too cold to fly, which gives me the opportunity to stomp them to death without the possibility of being stung. I love that.
Anyway, back to football season. Vol fans everywhere are filled with the anticipation of yet another season under the guidance of the Great Pumpkin. Will we win the East this year? Will we finish 4th and lose to Vanderbilt again? Both of these are plausible. Will we be able to run the ball this year, or will we continue to suck at the line of scrimmage? Will Erik Ainge be hampered this Saturday by his broken finger?
One thing is certain, our front seven on defense will be solid, but the secondary is up for grabs. If our tailbacks can stay out of prison long enough, we may have a running game – but our receivers are a big question mark.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a good feeling about tomorrow’s nationally-televised battle with Cal. It will be close, but the Gay Bay Bears will squeak out a victory, 22-17. Take heart, though, Vol fans, I’m usually wrong about these things.
Elsewhere in the NCAA….
- Ga Tech 22 Notre Dame 17 – I like the upset here. Notre Dame has lost too many players and little Jimmy “The Pickle” Klaussen is likely out for the season, so they’re starting over.
- Georgia 31 Oklahoma State 20 – I’m picking UGA in this one because (1) they’re playing at home and (2) Cristi at work is wearing a tight-fitting Georgia shirt. That’s enough for me.
- Florida State 2 Clemson 0 – Is everyone as sick as I am of the Bowdens? I wish all of those Bowden bastards would get out of coaching. They’ve done enough damage to the pristine image of College Football for one generation.
Last but not least, Ole Miss will knock off the Memphis State Tigers, 13 – 10. This game is always bizarre – and it’s shocking to me that Brent Schaeffer got knocked down the depth chart by a walk-on, but that’s how it goes when you don’t do your homework. The Rebels will win because every chick I’ve ever known that went to Ole Miss was hotter than hell and dumber than a stump. Evidence:
HOTTY TODDY INDEED.
SAT AM UPDATE:
ESPN Gameday is broadcasting from Virginia Tech this morning, in yet another politically correct move meant to curry favor with the gun-grabber lobby. They could have gone to a location where there was an actual game, but better to keep the “tragedy” story going as long as possible.