Better late than never, I suppose.
It’s a tough time to be a Volunteer fan, ladies and gentlemen. Last week, the Gaytors put on their finest skirts and gave us a beatdown the likes we haven’t seen in ages. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to stay within two touchdowns and it was a hell of a lot worse than that.
This week we try to rebound against Arkansas State. Before the season started, it looked like this one was a gimme. Not anymore, chum. I still think that Tennessee will knock State off, but I’m afraid it is going to be closer than anyone would like. In addition to that, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Vols went down in flames, Notre Dame-style. But I predict the Vols will triumph, 31-21.
- Red Tide 24, Mary Katharine Bulldogs 17 – Carl Sagan’s team shocked me last week with their handling of Arkansas. I’m becoming a believer.
- Penn State 21, Michigan 14 – Michigan has bounced back a bit after its rough start, but Penn State is going to bitch-slap them back to reality this week.
- Washington 30, Nigel’s Bruins 10 – UCLA has begun a downhill slide that rivals even that of my beloved Big Orange. Sorry, Nigel.
- LSU 34, South Carolina 24 – Carolina will keep this one close – and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a Spurrier upset here, but LSU is simply too good, I’m afraid.
I’m pleased as punch with the way the Titans played against Peyton’s Punks last week. They were in it until the last play, which says a lot about the character of Fisher’s young team. I expect the Titans to travel down to the Rape Dome on Monday night and knock off America’s team – Titans 27, Aints 17. Yeah, I know I’m supposed to fawn all over the Saints and pretend that they’re not one big sack of crap, but I ain’t gonna play that. They’re Nagin’s boys, and all that means is that they’re losers.
- San Diego 26, Green Bay 17 – The Pack has had nothing but good luck so far. They’re luck is running out.
- Colts 27, Texans 20 – The Texans are another young team who are showing signs of life. I like them to give the Colts a run for their money.
- Denver 22, Jacksonville 14 – The Broncos will keep winning ugly. All that matters is a W, baby.
- Dallas 34, Chicago 21 – I’m pulling for Chicago, but they’re looking horribly overrated this year and Dallas has some surprising firepower.
You can take this to the bank with a roll of pennies and get two shiny quarters.