Football Friday

Better late than never, I suppose.

It’s a tough time to be a Volunteer fan, ladies and gentlemen. Last week, the Gaytors put on their finest skirts and gave us a beatdown the likes we haven’t seen in ages. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to stay within two touchdowns and it was a hell of a lot worse than that.

This week we try to rebound against Arkansas State. Before the season started, it looked like this one was a gimme. Not anymore, chum. I still think that Tennessee will knock State off, but I’m afraid it is going to be closer than anyone would like. In addition to that, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Vols went down in flames, Notre Dame-style. But I predict the Vols will triumph, 31-21.

Elsewhere…

  • Red Tide 24, Mary Katharine Bulldogs 17Carl Sagan’s team shocked me last week with their handling of Arkansas. I’m becoming a believer.
  • Penn State 21, Michigan 14Michigan has bounced back a bit after its rough start, but Penn State is going to bitch-slap them back to reality this week.
  • Washington 30, Nigel’s Bruins 10UCLA has begun a downhill slide that rivals even that of my beloved Big Orange. Sorry, Nigel.
  • LSU 34, South Carolina 24Carolina will keep this one close – and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a Spurrier upset here, but LSU is simply too good, I’m afraid.

I’m pleased as punch with the way the Titans played against Peyton’s Punks last week. They were in it until the last play, which says a lot about the character of Fisher’s young team. I expect the Titans to travel down to the Rape Dome on Monday night and knock off America’s team – Titans 27, Aints 17. Yeah, I know I’m supposed to fawn all over the Saints and pretend that they’re not one big sack of crap, but I ain’t gonna play that. They’re Nagin’s boys, and all that means is that they’re losers.

Elsewhere…

  • San Diego 26, Green Bay 17The Pack has had nothing but good luck so far. They’re luck is running out.
  • Colts 27, Texans 20The Texans are another young team who are showing signs of life. I like them to give the Colts a run for their money.
  • Denver 22, Jacksonville 14The Broncos will keep winning ugly. All that matters is a W, baby.
  • Dallas 34, Chicago 21I’m pulling for Chicago, but they’re looking horribly overrated this year and Dallas has some surprising firepower.

You can take this to the bank with a roll of pennies and get two shiny quarters.

14 comments

  1. Kentucky is plus 7 at Arkansas. Are the kitty kats gonna be sucking the hind tit of the bitch boars?

    Cranky’s endangered Eagles are squaring up against a Detroit team that hasn’t had this much spunk since Little Man Stewart was in the backfield. At +7, are the Iggles getting ready to lay a rotten egg in the home nest?

    Inquiring minds, Holmes.

  2. Hey…with Radio as our coach, I have no doubt that Washington will kick our ass…especially since Global Warming is causing a massive winter storm and the game might be played in a freezing rain-perfect Husky weather.

    And I axed you not to pick my Bolts. Thanks for that kiss of death…

  3. First of all, Gambler, it’s not often we have a celebrity visiting. Thank you for your fine musical work and your fine Fried Chicken.

    I think Arkansas is pissed off and will lay the wood to Kentucky, but this isn’t your daddy’s KY. They’ll stay in it this year.

    Philly vs. Detroit – two of America’s most dangerous cities squaring off on the football field. This will be yet another grisly display of inner city black-on-black violence. No one wins in a game like this.

  4. The University of Tennessee game is not televised, but we are listening on the radio. Maybe the Titans have a chance this year. Jeff Fisher signed another contract, bless his heart. He’s staying with the date he came with.

  5. “And I axed you not to pick my Bolts. Thanks for that kiss of death…”

    Yes, Nigel…we Midwesterners (well, Vinnie and me) know what the Preston Kiss of Death is all about…hopefully you are immune!!!

  6. MKH Bulldogs 26, Alabama Menstrual Flow 23

    Michigan 14, Penn St. 9

    Nigel’s Bruins are currently winning 38-24 with 7 1/2 minutes left as I write.

    LSU 28, SC 16.

    Dude, at least when it comes to college, you ARE the kiss of death.

    You’re akin to being on the cover of Sports Illustrated!

  7. Okay, okay. Obviously I am sucking on both the college and pro levels. But do you all really have to come here and hurt my feelings like this? It’s enough to make a blogger give up blogging.

    Debbie, Fisher is a great coach. We should hang onto him as long as we can. Perhaps he’s learned his lesson in drafting thugz now.

  8. I am sitting here watching all these foolish ex-players on post-game shows trying to analyze why the Chargers choked away another victory…

    Of course all they had to do was come to Six Meat Buffet for the answer…the PTH “Kiss of Death”.

    But keep picking them, Holmes. I am making a killing this week…

    At least you have the balls to pick tough games…unlike those tools on those “tout” infomercials on the radio at 5am who offer you a “guranteed winner on this week’s Oklahoma/Tulsa game, or we give you the rest of the week free!”

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