Month: October 2007

Al Qaeda’s Yemen Connection

Blog-friend, Jane Novak publishes an important piece of work in the Weekly Standard which documents the warm relationship Yemen has with al Qaeda.

THE AMERICAN ATTEMPTS to rehabilitate the Yemeni regime of Ali Abdullah Saleh have not succeeded. Yemeni authorities recently pardoned Jamal Al-Badawi, convicted mastermind of the 2000 USS Cole bombing. All the terrorists who bombed the American warship and killed 17 American sailors are free, except those dead or in U.S. custody.

What is extremely cool about this is that Jane started blogging in response to 9-11 and dedicates her time and resources to combatting militant Islam with Yemen in particular.

Political prisoners have been freed and nacent democracy movements have been encouraged directly by her efforts.

The Great Pumpkin Was On Tonight

As far as I’m concerned, no holiday specials are complete without this intro…

The kids and I must have already watched It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown a dozen times this month. As the best of all holiday specials, it never gets old for me, but I can’t help thinking about the good old days when I was a kid. We would scour the Commercial Appeal to make sure we knew when our favorite holiday specials were coming on and we would count the days. This was before we got our first VHS machine, before the glorious era of the BetaMax.

My sisters and I would make popcorn, pile up in the floor with some blankets and watch the likes of The Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, even the horrendous Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, which is damn near unwatchable.

Today, with everything available on DVD, there is no such thing as “Special”. It’s all available for your immediate gratification. Oh well, it’s progress, I guess.

Speaking of good old days and things that aren’t quite as good as you might remember, I made the mistake of purchasing this a while back. The Groovy Ghoulies were a spinoff of the Archies & Sabrina the Teenage Witch and it was basically an animated Laugh-In for kids. Except that it sucks.

Preston Jr. and I kicked back to watch it after the unfortunate impulse buy and neither one of us laughed. When Preston Jr. doesn’t laugh, you know it’s a turd in a punch bowl. Should have bought the Josie and the Pussycats DVD set instead. Lesson learned.

Can Murtha Be Unseated?

The Challenger:

After nearly three decades in the military, William T. Russell’s latest mission has brought him to Johnstown.

The career Army man, just two years short of retirement, has left the service and moved to the Flood City in order to mount a political campaign against veteran Democratic U.S. Rep. John Murtha.

The Obstacle:

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.

-P.J. O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores

The Issue:

The 75-year-old [Murtha] is known for bringing money and jobs – especially in the defense sector – to his district, and last year he became chairman of the House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee.

He seeks to turn a long history of substantial economic clout against Murtha, arguing that the congressman is an “extreme practitioner of cronyism” who has not created long-term, sustainable jobs in this area.

As a small-business owner who operates an ATM company, Russell says he wants to help create a local economy that is more dependent on the free market – while also acknowledging that some jobs may be lost if governmental contracts disappear.

“A lot of folks have gotten very, very dependent on this ‘pork’ structure,” Russell said.

As New Jersey proves over and over every election, it not how scummy one’s elected leaders are but how much they do for their scummy constituency.

Still, I think sending this Russell fellow a few bucks is a very worthwhile investment.

Start Investing In Hanta Virus Vaccine Now

Walt Disney may be rolling in his cryogenic chamber but at least he’s safe from the trends his studio keeps turning out:

Cause: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End global box office $960,998,993.00.

Effect: Pirate attacks worldwide jumped 14 percent in the first nine months of 2007.

Cause: Ratatouille global box office to date $515,410,872.00


Newspapers said Britain faced a rodent population explosion; the wet weather meant we would be inundated by the creatures.

That was before Ratatouille. Thanks to the latest Disney/Pixar’s digital animation studio box office hit, featuring a lovable French rodent, the reputation of the rat is undergoing a PR renaissance. Children are now desperate to get their hands on a pet rat.

Mickey Mouse was unavailable for comment. Coincidence? I think not.

Clearing Cheeta’s Good Name

Get a room

“The love that dare not speak it’s name.” – anonymous apeslut

Despite years of comic relief at the idea of AIDS coming from hot, interspecies monkey/man love, turns out it floated here on an innertube:

The AIDS virus invaded the United States in about 1969 from Haiti, carried most likely by a single infected immigrant who set the stage for it to sweep the world in a tragic epidemic, scientists said on Monday.


The researchers virtually ruled out the possibility that HIV had come directly to the United States from Africa, setting a 99.8 percent probability that Haiti was the steppingstone.


Studies suggest the virus first entered the human population in about 1930 in central Africa, probably when people slaughtered infected chimpanzees for meat.

Eating monkeys?

People. Monkeys were made to smoke cigarettes and churn out hilarious spoofs of popular movies, not to be encrusted with chili powder and fennel seed. But whatever floats your boat door, I guess.

Just remember kids, when you’re eating monkey with somebody, you’re eating monkey with everybody they ate monkey with so be sure to wear a rubber.

 Dept. of Health UPDATE:  Monkey Meat is not one of the six meats.   Our respect for the monkey runs as deep as that for the Three Stooges.   Not Peter Singer deep.  More like the platonic “hang-out-with-them-and-have-a-beer” kind of way despite their alternative lifestyle leanings.

Rural Traffic Jam

Would you believe I saw something like this just last week? I have a few pictures to show you later.

Thanks to the intrepid Jay, nemesis of the ACLU.

Also, please go over there and help support Project Valour IT

Valour-IT accepts donations in any amount to support the purchase and distribution of laptops, but also offers a sponsorship option. An individual or organization may sponsor a wounded soldier by completely funding the cost of a laptop and continuing to provide that soldier with personal support and encouragement throughout recovery.

STACLU is sponsoring the Air Force team and lets face it, the Air Force doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Just ’cause the Marines have been winning all the battles in Iraq and Afghanistan…

The Edwards Socialist Manifesto

Oh my… more Democrat pre-primary political fun. Oh my.

Just reading this makes my blood boil. Granted there is no way that this clown will ever be elected President, but the fact that he is running on a platform wrought with socialism while belonging to a national political party that claims to stand for liberty and freedom sends me close to the edge.

Edwards, a former Democratic senator from North Carolina, says the federal government should underwrite universal pre-kindergarten, create matching savings accounts for low-income people, mandate a minimum wage of $9.50 and provide a million new Section 8 housing vouchers for the poor. He also pledged to start a government-funded public higher education program called “College for Everyone.”

Did you hear that? That was TinyElvis screaming at the top of his lungs. I’ve read that paragraph five times and it makes me angrier each time I read it. Someone please point me to the section of the Constitution that mandates the Federal government’s responsiblity in this area.

“I think if we want to fund the things that I think are important to share in prosperity, then people who have done well in this country, including me, have more of a responsibility to give back,” he said. Later, he added: “There are no free meals.”

What in the hell are you talking Senator? You just outlined a 5-point plan of “free meals” that myself and millions of other hard-working Americans are going to have to pay for.

No to be too dramatic here but if this is what people are expecting from a Presidential candidate these days, we are in trouble. Deep trouble.

Please make sure you read the article. It’s important to know what kind of nut-jobs are out there campaigning for your vote, your dollar, and your soul.

California Wildfires and Planning Ahead

Not to make a tragedy too political, but I believe this clearly demonstrates that you should not depend on anyone (especially government) to take care of your interests.

From the OC Register:

Taking care of business

And the description…

The Modjeska Canyon home of David Edgar, a U.S. Forest Safety officer, is completely surrounded by charred earth but his home remains untouched by the fire. By clearing brush several hundred feet in all directions around his property he has now saved his home from fires for the second time.

In the days following the fires, we have heard quite a bit about how the fires were fed by the amount of fuel available due to the lack of brush clearing. The reason for the abundance of fuel? The state government, fire control, and environmental groups could not agree on when and where brush clearing should occur.

Lesson learned:

If you wait on someone else to clear the brush, your home burns. If you take care of business yourself, your home does not burn.

Blowing .18 On The Far Left Of Your Dial

In one of the strongest repudiations to date against repealing a workplace ban on the three martini lunch, our intrepid reporter – Randi Rhodes, staggered briefly from the gutter to a microphone to slur this intriguing theory:

I started just doing Google searches to try and figure out. You know, arson, arson, it was like crazy trying to figure out why is that being downplayed? Why is that, you know, just a small part of the story? And you know, every time I look for it what comes up, believe it or not, is that Blackwater wants to move to San Diego and build this giant complex in San Diego right where most of the evacuations are taking place and you know.
Just recently said no to Blackwater and apparently you don’t do that. I mean, I don’t even know what to think. You know, nobody is saying Blackwater set the fires, that is nobody that doesn’t want their house burned down. Nobody is saying that, but it is all so bizarre that this is America and you have to sort of sit there and wonder … arson, same place Blackwater West wants to be, people protesting. And then you find out that some of the guys that used to work for Blackwater are now in Schwarzenegger’s administration. It’s all so creepy.

Bizarre indeed.

Hit Me Again!

Of course, it wasn’t long before Rhodes was topped like a splash of Coke in a whiskey sour by her fellow inmate bartender clown rapist co-conspiracist Mike Malloy who took The Red Pill with his effeminate cocktail only to discover how far down the sewer Left Wing Hate Radio goes.

They’re not having electrical storms out there, they’re not having any storms at all. What’s causing it? But then the answer popped into my head, as easily as the answer about torture. The fires are being set, the fires are being set by elements of the Bush crime family. It’s a great distraction, it’s a wonderful distraction. And then I thought to myself, Jesus God! Did you really have that thought?! And the answer came back – yeah, loud and ‘effing clear.”


Had drive-time radio audiences not already made this warning unnecessary, I feel it’s still worth noting that you should not listen to Air America while operating a motor vehicle. Side effects may include bloodshot eyes, dizziness, and a desire to urinate in the bushes. Listening to Air America is known to cause cancer in the State of Texas.

Ed. Note: We love our pets so please walk your dog responsibly.

Stein hoist to Ace.

Football Friday

Vols repeatedly piledrived throughout 2007 season

I realize that many of you have been unable to place regular bets with your bookies over the last few weeks due to the lack of Football Fridays here at the Buffet. Never fear, gambling addicts, we’ve returned this week to help you rake in the dough through reverse prognostication.

It’s been a pretty depressing season for my beloved Orange. This weekend could be the final nail in the Fulmer coaching coffin. If Spurrier’s Gamecocks come in and do what I expect them to… which is win, then it’s going to be time for the staff to start cleaning out their lockers, just like Randy Sanders did two years ago. Three gangland beatdowns from Cal, Florida and a crappy Alabama team points to a staff with serious problems, no matter what happens this weekend.

Last week Fulmer was outcoached – this week, Fulmer will be outcoached for the umpteenth time by his longtime nemesis Steve Spurrier. Will the players rebound and play for their coaches and their pride and overcome the Gamecocks tomorrow night? I don’t think so. South Carolina 31, Tennessee 25.


  • Gaytors 33 Georgia 17Georgia probably won’t even keep it this close. There is a reason that Tennessee beat the living stew out of the Bulldogs and it’s not because Tennessee is that good.
  • Ohio State 27 Penn State 24This one should be good – I’ll miss it because I’ll be down at Club Neyland for the ‘Cocks game, but you should tune in.
  • Texas 33 Nebraska 30Vinnie has given up on ‘Huskers football, but they should hang in with Texas for at least three quarters or so.
  • Oregon 24 USC 21SC is down and out, it’s time for the rest of the Pac 10 to pile on.

My Titans have had a good run so far this season. I didn’t get to watch the end of the Texans’ game last week – typical stupid me.

One of my favorite memories from the old Adelphia Stadium was a Thursday night game with the Raiders (back in 1999) where the boys in blue repeatedly sacked Rich Gannon and beat the Raiders much worse than the 21-14 score indicated. I like the Titans this week against the Raiders as well – Titans 27 Raiders 17.

Elsewhere in the big leagues…

  • Indianapolis 37 Carolina 20Carolina will suffer the indignation of a Manning thrashing and will likely send hundreds of fans home in tears after their poor performance.
  • Steelers 24 Bungles 17The over-rated Bengals are going to be yet another victim of the rise of Big Ben from the football ashes.
  • New England 34 Washington 14Doug Williams continues to play well for the ‘Skins, but they’re just another log going through the Patriots’ sawmill. Heh. Log.
  • Denver 19 Pack 17This will be a fun one Monday night in the Denver snow. I just hope the Broncos put on the old orange jerseys with the vintage “D” 80s-era helmets. Favre will throw 9 interceptions.

Happy weekend, superfruits.

Amnesty Comes Back Out For An Encore

The bedwetting socialists in your Federal Government are going to try and ram home the “Dream Act” this morning. What’s the Dream Act? It’s more cash & prizes for millions of lawbreakers who have come here and taken a massive dump on our Constitution.

The current political debate over undocumented immigrants in the United States has largely ignored the plight of undocumented children. Yet children account for 1.8 million, or 15 percent, of the undocumented immigrants now living in this country. These children have, for the most part, grown up in the United States and received much of their primary and secondary educations here. But without a means to legalize their status, they are seldom able to go on to college and cannot work legally in this country. Moreover, at any time, they can be deported to countries they barely know.

Well, they should be deported, but we know that’s never going to happen with Jorge all up in the White Hizzy.

About 65,000 undocumented children who have lived in the United States for five years or longer graduate from high school each year. Although they can legally attend most colleges, they are not eligible for most forms of financial aid.

Because of the barriers to their continued education and their exclusion from the legal workforce, only between 5 and 10 percent of undocumented high-school graduates go to college.

So, now that we’ve paid for their elementary and high school education, we owe it to the illegals to help pay for their college. Will John McCain serve as a guest professor teaching Lettuce Picking 101?

The bipartisan Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors (DREAM) Act, first introduced in Congress in 2001, would provide a solution to the current dilemma by allowing undocumented students to apply for legal permanent resident status.

The DREAM Act would provide 360,000 undocumented high-school graduates with a legal means to work, and could provide incentives for another 715,000 youngsters between the ages of 5 and 17 to finish high school and pursue post-secondary education.

Translation = Amnesty.

MM has a list of the Senatorial fence sitters getting fingered behind the scenes for a Y vote. If you’re in their domain, give them a ringy-ding.

Your government will never give up until they’ve rammed legislation down your throat that you’re just too stupid to support. It doesn’t matter what the vast majority of the population says, they’re the little megalomaniacs in power and they’re damn sure going to let you know it.

UPDATE: Amnesty buried again. But expect it to rise from the dead. When it comes to taking away your freedoms or reallocating your wealth to those who don’t deserve it, the walking, talking stool samples in congress will never give up.

Let your reps know that no matter how they want to dress it up or try to disguise it, it’s still Amnesty and you’ll vote their asses out if they support it. I’m pleased to say that Alexander and Corker made the right call today.

The real reason the cloture vote failed today? Global warming.