Month: January 2008

Good Riddance, Boondocks Betty Friedan

It didn’t take long for Ashland City’s prodigal daughter to get back to her anti-American, troop hating ways:

Shutting It Down As I Type

Posted by brittneygilbert

If you hurry you can catch the waterboarding demonstration going on right now in Berkeley at the Marines Recruiting station. Via Indy Bay:
Make “Truth in advertising” posters that expose the lies that the recruiters are telling the youth in order to get them to kill and die for oil and empire… and bring them!

Woohoo! Maybe afterwards you can go out to eat with Code Pink. Out to eat, eat out – six of one, half a dozen of the other.

While delighting in such traitor talk can make for good controversy down here in the sticks, out on the Left Coast it just means you’re the same as everybody else. Go ahead and renounce ever coming back now so you can regale the hippie folk with the backwards ways and tales of intolerance from Lower Crackerstan.

Those from these parts will recall when local talker Steve Gill humiliated her and her paleo-con (yet somehow Democrat voting) liege after they referred to the troops as mafia hitmen. I think you’ve found your niche, sweetie.

Where’s a murderous Iraqi hobo vet when you need one?

Huckles got the Code Pink treatment in San Fran today as well. Showcasing, yet again, why he just doesn’t have what it takes:

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee was heckled by protestors during a speech in San Francisco Thursday.

Members of the anti-war group Code Pink shouted down the former Arkansas governor during an address before the Commonwealth Club. They were eventually hustled out of the Fairmont Hotel ballroom, but the affable, engaging Huckabee took note of the disruption.“The beauty of America is that a person can come and even make a disruption, and you know what, that person is not going to be taken out and shot.”

Fraternizing with South American dictators, trying to smear fake blood on the Secretary of State, taunting soldiers recovering at Walter Reed, and trying to kick Marines out of a US city – you’ve got it, Huckles!  They are the beauty of America.

Ramming the Homeland Security Vehicles that Americans Just Won’t Ram

This one would be hilarious if I didn’t know that this over-stuffed vanful of illegals would have probably smashed into some other innocent motorists if they hadn’t rammed an official Homeland Security SUV. Then again, the SUV deserved it, because, well, it’s an evil SUV.

Normally, a non-injury rear-end collision wouldn’t warrant a news story. But in an ironic twist, this crash involved a van full of illegal immigrants which slammed into an SUV owned by the Department of Homeland Security.

The Arizona Department of Public Safety said the Chrysler van was heading west Tuesday morning when it was involved in a three-vehicle chain-reaction crash near the Elliot Road off-ramp. Harold Sanders with DPS said, “the 11 illegal immigrants inside the van were turned over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement.”

There were no reports of any injuries, despite the fact that the van was overloaded.

One has to wonder if there were empty bottles of tequila rolling around the floorboard of the over-stuffed Hispanic Mystery Machine. Surely not.

President Junior was quick to send a personal handwritten apology to the illegals, and included a cash advance on their soon-to-come tax rebate checks. Compassionate conservatism.

h/t yet again to MB

Towelhead Hypocrisy

Last year, Sanjum Paul Singh Samagh was denied entrance to a local OC bar because he refused to remove his hair-conditioning wrap. The good news is that now after a boycott organzied by his classmates, the bar has changed it’s policy and Sanjum can now now freely boogie-down until the break of dawn with drunken, scantily-clad, women.

It’s not a fashion statement I’m trying to make,” Samagh recalled telling the owner at the time, explaining that his black cotton turban is worn for religious reasons.

My sacred head wrap adds to my charm..

Obviously, he’s religion is quite sacred to him and his dedication to his headdress is quite admirable. I don’t know much about Sikhism, but I wonder what the religion states about hanging around late-night drinking establishments trying to pick up on easy prey?

Florida Mavericks Join the Original Maverick, Old Media Collapses in Bliss Attack


The left is getting exactly what it wants this election year… well, maybe with the exception of that little nasty race/gender war that they’re trying to keep a lid on over in Dim-O-Crack land. They’ve been pushing hard to get their boy McCain the GOP (RIP) nomination, and it looks like they may have succeeded.

McCain’s Sunshine State support came from the elderly (always a reliable conservative base), independents (i.e. Democrats crossing over to vote in the GOP primary to give Mac an little boost), moderates (i.e. country club republicans who need somebody to pick their lettuce), and, of course, Hispanics (i.e. la raza).

McCain is the perfect GOP encore to President Junior. The only issue either one of them has right is the war on terror. But just watch as the rightosphere falls in line behind the candidate that the leftist establishment has worked to put in place. And, ironically, the very same Maverick who as been shitting in the mouth of the conservative base and telling them it’s a hot fudge sundae. With nuts. Not Ron Paul nuts, but nuts enough.

And times is tough this year, since any of these guys will be fairly easy prey for Obama Hussein and his Oprah Army™ to beat, especially since the electorate gets 4-years-dumber every Presidential election cycle. Yeah, I’m a little bitter.

The only actual straight talk to come from the Straight Talk Express this primary season has been this Freudian slip from La Raza McCain backer Mel Martinez…

I saw this on Fox last night and thought I was hearing things. Thanks, youtube! I, for one, would like to welcome our new Mexican overlords by spending the next 9 months brushing up on my Spanish and converting my dollars to pesos since the peso will be more valuable come November.

The Pledge of Dependence

As our country spirals down the sewer that the great unwashed continue to vote us into, I believe my friend Leo may have hit on something with his new Pledge of Dependence.

“I pledge my dependence, to the flags, of the “Assorted Cultures of America”, and to the melting pot, for which they stand, secular multinational cultures, divisible by race, gender, sexual orientation and income brackets, with reparations and healthcare for all.”

Sure it’s not the Black Pledge or Hitlery’s Pledge of Allegience to the America That Can Be (with enough help from Government), but it’s certainly where we’re headed with this crop of candidates.

Al Sharpton Gets Delirious

I realize this violates the spirit, wholesome family atmosphere, and dress code of what we try to promote here at the Buffet but Al Sharpton telling Bill Clinton to shut up reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s old “suck my dick, Masta” riff:

Not safe for work, the pigmentationally challenged, those who faint at a certain n-word, the s-word, the f-word, the mf-word, jokes about slavery, dated 80s leather pantsuits, or those unfamiliar with Eddie Murphy before he became the voice of the donkey in your kid’s favorite movie.But if you’re ok with “suck my dick”, you’re ok with me.

(and thanks for fixing my HTFL)

Open Letter To Telephone Survey Types

Don’t call me after I’ve had several margaritas at Casa Don Gallo.

To wit:

Teleperson: I’m calling on behalf of local radio stations.

Me: Yeah?

Teleperson: Is there a male between 18 and 26 available?

Me: Nope.

Teleperson: Okay, what about a male between 26 and 50?

Me: Nope.

Teleperson: Will there be one there at another time?

Me: Nope. We’re all lesbians here. Thanks for calling.


Operation: “Bad Breaker-upper” (an Open Letter to Fred Thompson)

Dear Fred,

It’s been almost a week since we’ve talked. It seems like just yesterday we were experiencing the ups and downs of that rollercoaster ride on the way to the Presidency. Eatin’ funnel cake. Getting sick on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Admiring the unbowing tenacity of your Prescription Strength Super Poli-Grip denture cream as you tried to eat that candied apple.

We punched the hippie so we’d both have enough tickets to get on the Gravitron but when we turned around – you were gone.

And now we’re getting The Silent Treatment. I thought we had something.

Niemöller’s Dhimmitude By Proxy

Niemollers Boiling Pot of Dhimmitude

It came out yesterday but it’s new to me. Sadly, the chefs of political correctness across the pond have cranked up the temperature in their crock pot of tolerance and boiled British Bulldog is this evening’s entree. Mark Steyn sips deeply from Julia Childs’ apéritif and stuffs yellow-bellied lobsterbacks into a sausage casing delivered fresh to your table:

First They Came for Piglet
Excessive deference to Islam.

By Mark Steyn

My favorite headline of the year so far comes from The Daily Mail in Britain: “Government Renames Islamic Terrorism As ‘Anti-Islamic Activity’ To Woo Muslims.”


Well, yes, one sort of sees what she means. Killing thousands of people in Manhattan skyscrapers in the name of Islam does, among a certain narrow-minded type of person, give Islam a bad name, and thus could be said to be “anti-Islamic” — in the same way that the Luftwaffe raining down death and destruction on Londoners during the Blitz was an “anti-German activity.”
Still, it should add a certain surreal quality to BBC news bulletins: “The Prime Minister today condemned the latest anti-Islamic activity as he picked through the rubble of Downing Street looking for his 2008 Wahhabi Community Outreach Award. In a related incident, the anti-Islamic activists who blew up Buckingham Palace have unfortunately caused the postponement of the Queen’s annual Ramadan banquet.”

Political correctness is the disease and Mark Steyn is the cure. Make sure you’re up to date on your inoculations:

This is now a recurring theme in British life. A while back, it was a local government council telling workers not to have knick-knacks on their desks representing Winnie-the-Pooh’s porcine sidekick, Piglet. As Martin Niemöller famously said, first they came for Piglet and I did not speak out because I was not a Disney character and, if I was, I’m more of an Eeyore. So then they came for the Three Little Pigs, and Babe, and by the time I realized my country had turned into a 24/7 Looney Tunes it was too late, because there was no Porky Pig to stammer “Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!” and bring the nightmare to an end.

Can puppy crockpot give puppy blender a run for it’s money?

Bubba O’Riley

Apologies to any Who fans but the donk S.C. primary has turned into a middle-aged wasteland and Bubba Christ’s Second Coming was about as well-received as Sherman’s first:

Said Bill Clinton today in Columbia, SC: “Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in ’84 and ’88. Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here.”

So what are you blithely attempting to imply there, Billy Jeff? That Obama won’t be the 2nd black president because Democrats won’t elect him because of his skin color? And poor Hillary. Spanked 2-to-1 by a lightweight whose policy proposals are about as thin as her own skin.

South Carolina is a turning point make no mistake. If past is prologue then it is going to be an ugly turn for the worst.  Hillary ain’t going down without a fight.  Hell, if Hillary had practice going down we wouldn’t know the name Lewinsky in the first place.  She cannot win with the militant lesbian vote alone.  That’s neither here nor there, oh lovers of strong women everywhere.

This is Mama’s Time though and she will marshal every leaky NYT/LAT media assassin, obedient black pastor, and black Congress member to turn the fire hoses on B-HO so she can appear magnanimous and above the fray.

Now’s when the fun part starts. Expect those dogs to be loosed on the Sunday talks in the morning as to jump out ahead of this historic beatdown and to downplay its importance as the permanent campaign soldiers on.

I will concede that The Thompson Betrayal has had me in the doldrums but I absolutely love what the Donks are doing. Thanks for keeping my spirits up guys, gals, and those in between.

Vignettes from the Obama victory speech:

“Change won here tonight. The change just keeps on changing. And we’ve got to change to meet that change. Changing the face of the future. But if we want change for the better we must change what we’ve done in the past. Change we can believe in. Change for the world of tomorrow. Changing to change the present. Change will be all that’s left in your pockets when I’m done. Change.”



As if the global recession, rising fuel prices, and the forthcoming Darfur World Racism Pogrom weren’t enough, the looming oceanographic gang war threatens to keep our nation’s shorelines awash in blood this summer. Break yourself, fool:

Film taken of gangs of dolphins repeatedly ramming baby porpoises, tossing them in the air and pursuing them to the death has solved a long-term mystery of what causes the death of so many of these harmless mammals – but has left animal experts baffled as to the motive.


Another mystery is that the animal ‘murders’ have only been reported in two parts of the world – along Scotland’s East Coast and in America off the beaches of Virginia…

It’s obvious to this observer that the Out-Of-Stream Media (OSM) will ignore the abundant evidence (like they always do to push their narrative) that the CIA has been distributing rock cocaine to the Aqua-American community to fund their clandestine war against the mudskipper. I mean when was the last time you saw a positive aquatic role model on television? Think about it.

Couple this with man’s gentrification of our coastal waterways and the ensuing turf war that is likely fueling this most recent spike in mammal-on-mammal mayhem and we’re crossing into genocide territory.

The two groups of biologists pooled information and, at first, it was believed the mammals had died through ‘blast trauma’. In American cases, this was supposedly from exercises by the US Navy, and in Scotland from air guns used by oil rig technicians to detect undersea caverns.

This theory was dismissed after further examination of the mammals’ bodies revealed the injuries – broken ribs, imploding lungs, damaged livers and massive internal bleeding – could only have come from prolonged, focused attacks.

Like Guantanamo.


Straight Highsiding

‘Blast Trauma’ Caught On Tape: Straight highsidin’, yo

A likely excuse. Everybody who reads the news knows that our military produces murderous hobos. How can we rule out the possibility that they don’t engage in “sail-bys” and swing out the ass-end of their Humvees to run over dolphins? I’m not ruling anything out with this bunch.

Marine experts now believe that these displays of attacks on non-rival, non-predatory, peace-loving porpoises and, more shockingly, of dolphin infanticide, may have always taken place.

It is only now, with dolphins’ more human-friendly behaviour taking them closer to tourist boats and beaches, that the violence is being witnessed first hand. Until the shocking realisation, dolphin-watchers in America had believed they were watching the mammals at play with their young.

For Christ’s sake. Does Our Way ™ have to be everybody’s way? Embrace a little diversity here, people. What right does our government or our “marine experts” have to tell this aggrieved minority how to raise their children?

“It was, Oh my God!, the animals I’ve been studying for the last 10 years are killing these porpoises.”

Theories abound on the reason behind the mammal murders. These have included territorial clashes and feuds over food resources. But food is not in short supply and the victims are not just chased away but pursued to the death.


But as the experts of the Cetacean Research and Rescue Unit are forced to declare: “These killings represent yet another example of the hard brutality and evolutionary pressures of the marine world.”


Word is bond.

Tiberius “Squeaky” Jefferson of the Reef Side Rollin’ 60s – honorably discharged former lieutenant of the 101st Aquaborne and recipient of the Coral Cross for Valor.

Nobody’s got the guts to mention it – not even the NY Times – but I will: In all likelihood, these dolphins are our veterans too. Let down by the Bush Administration and their handling of the war and Hurricane Katrina.

1.20.09 – eyes on the prize.

Two Candidates I Can Get Behind

The first is Sunny Lucas. Part of her platform….

“Flat tax. Capitalism. No hand-outs. Tough shit.”

In nature as God made it, the harder you work, the more you have. This is right and good. If one dog is smarter or more hard-working than other dogs and can catch more prey, he gets to eat more. He may choose to share his bounty with other dogs, but if he doesn’t, then it’s up to the other dogs to work harder for themselves. If they can’t or won’t do that, then tough shit. They don’t get to live as well as the smarter, more industrious dogs.

Now, Sunny realizes that humans are not dogs. We are civilized and altruistic, or so we should be. We understand that there will always be people born with disadvantages that aren’t their fault, like a disease or abusive parents. Those people should be helped because it is the right thing to do. We also know that there are certain things that everyone needs to pay for, for the greater good. Roads, courthouses, infrastructure, schools, prisons, and taking care of the elderly, to name a few. Like when Sunny had to give up some of her quality of life to make Digger’s better when he was old and dying. It’s the decent thing to do.

But socialists are assholes and have taken this concept of “helping others” to a totally counterproductive conclusion, which enables lazy people to be lazy at the expense of everyone else. If the most efficient and successful hunting dog is forced to give up most of its kills to feed the least efficient and least hardworking dogs can lay around in the sun all day, breeding large litters of puppies, eventually that hardworking dog is going to say fuck it, what’s the point? and will either start killing the lazy dogs or letting them starve, or worst of all, will give up trying to achieve so much because why bother? and then everyone will starve. It’s no way to run a dog pack and it’s no way to run a country.

And that’s just part of the glorious platform. The rest of it is just as brilliant. I think I just messed myself. I’ll be right back.

Okay, I’m back.

Second but not least, this guy.

Slicing through terrorists and economic turbulence like a hammer.

h/t M.B.

Baby, Baby You’re So Predictable

If it weren’t so easy to predict, I’d say that I had extra sensationary perceptions. President Junior and his Kongressional Kronies are close to deal to hand free money out to the unwashed masses.

Pelosi, D-Calif., agreed to drop increases in food stamp and unemployment benefits during a Wednesday meeting in exchange for gaining rebates of at least $300 for almost everyone earning a paycheck, including low-income earners who make too little to pay income taxes.

Families with children would receive an additional $300 per child, subject to an overall cap of perhaps $1,200, according to a senior House aide who outlined the deal on condition of anonymity in advance of formal adoption of the whole package. Rebates would go to people earning below a certain income cap, likely individuals earning $75,000 or less and couples with incomes of $150,000 or less.

People would have to have earned at least $3,000 in 2007 to receive the rebates, the officials said.

Fantastic. The free market begins to correct itself as the irresponsible lending bubble bursts and the Feds start playing a shell game to interfere with a painful – yet necessary – correction. In addition, they’re going to give away money in exchange for votes and call it a “stimulus package”.

This is what our Federal government has come to. It’s gone so far beyond its original design that all hope is very close to being lost. It’s an absolute embarrassment and both parties are equally to blame.

I was prepared to give Junior a break and say that he was the 2nd or 3rd worst president in modern history, but he’s moving ever closer to a tie with Dhimmi Carter. It’s going to be a photo finish.

UPDATE: Confirmed. Let the handouts begin.

WTW: Hillbilly Robin Hood

“The hoary doctrines of Anglo-American civil asset forfeiture law that have been resurrected like some jurisprudential Frankenstein monster, from the dark recesses of past centuries.”
“In my view, a drug ‘war’ has been perverted too often into a series of frontal attacks on basic American constitutional guarantees – including due process, the presumption of innocence, and…unrelenting government assaults on property rights, fueled by a dangerous and emotional vigilante mentality that sanctions shredding the U.S. Constitution into meaningless confetti.” Henry Hyde, Forfeiting Our Property Rights: Is Your Property Safe From Seizure?

That’s a great quote from Henry Hyde regarding the outright abuse of power by police departments and prosecutors in leveraging asset forfeiture as a punishment of first resort against innocent and guilty citizens alike when it comes to drug crimes. To begin, how do you defend yourself when everything you are worth is taken from you?

In a perfect world, there are little angels on the shoulders of the S.W.A.T. team when their guns are drawn and your property happens to be worth a lot of money that can conveniently be auctioned off and placed in their budget. But sometimes those angels get stuck in traffic.

Naturally, I was perplexed today when I heard that everyone’s 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th favorite state legislator, Doug Jackson (D – Dickson), is introducing a law that encourages asset forfeiture if dog fights take place on your property. Finally, someone taking a stand on the tough issues. And he’ll give the money from the auctioned assets to animal shelters. He cited asset forfeiture for drug crimes as the logical progression for extending that punishment to other crimes.

A real life Hillbilly Robin Hood. (more…)

More Bush Lied, People Died

Well, this latest study provides more ammunition for those maniacal leftists who insist that President Bush purposely mislead us lemmings into supporting his immoral and illegal war on the peace-loving Saddam Hussein.

The obvious bias in the “research” is quite comical actually.

Even though evidence has shown that the intelligence gathered (by agencies of many countries) has proven to have been faulty, nowhere in the article in this mentioned. The implication here is that President Bush knew that the data he had been given was not factual and purposefully lied to American citizens and world leaders. I know, what’s new?

I’m sure as the election gets closer, many more “studies” that paint Republicans as war-mongering, angels-of-death will begin to dot the media landscape.