Winning The Ed Rollins Way ™

Johnny Dollar’s got the video of that irascible Ed Rollins shooting off his mouth. Nothing serious. Usually when Rollins shoots off his mouth he finds himself in the unemployment line or wounding the candidate he alleges to support with friendly fire. The Man Who Helped Reagan Win 49 States ™ indeed.

Take “Reagan” out of that bio and what’s left of Vallejo’s finest? Ed Rollins – guiding the gay, yet somehow married to Arianna, Michael Huffington to Senate defeat? The mastermind behind billionaire Ross Perot’s Presidency? Claiming that he bribed black ministers to suppress the black vote to help Christine Todd Whitman? His infallible belief in Jack Kemp though Kemp proved to be a total tool of Hugo Chavez? Kneecapping Katherine Harris in Florida by siccing the feds on her after he left her campaign?

Ed Rollins is an epicurean when it comes to tasting shoe leather. Primarily his own. His ascension to the looming political Hucktastrophe is not one heralding the lightning but rather the flood of failure.

So why’s he a blip on my radar today?


Ed Rollins: “Fred Thompson is certainly out of it. I hope he has enough money to get his bus back to Tennessee.”

So what do you make of this, punchdrunk?

(courtesy of Open Secrets)

The Numbers

Rollins’ candidate is boasting $651,301 in cash on hand and he’s chuckling that he hopes Thompson’s $7M+ will get him back to Tennessee? Thompson officially joined the race on September 6 and raised over $12M since then but is out of money though he hasn’t really spent a lot of money?

Sorry fellas. Huckabeen’s non-attack attack ad has Rollins’ double bacon cheese melt fingerprints all over it. Hamfisted to the last, clogged coronary bite.

Signing Rollins to your campaign is like firing a flare gun in a fireworks factory. You think you’re hiring someone to help? Well an ambulance should be coming with the fire trucks.

Rollins is doing his job. Which, historically, has been to help his candidate lose. That and get divorced. I raise my glass in a toast to your consistency Mssr. Rollins. May what little is left of Huckabeen’s money keep your Vallejo-oustider/consummate Washington insider lifestyle going until the next campaign/marriage you inevitably ruin.

Lyn Nofziger and Lee Atwater aren’t around to save you from yourself anymore.

“Check, Please” Update: Uh, you got some on your chin there, Chief:

Amanda Carpenter files this report from the ground in Iowa:
At a hole-in-the wall Des Moines eatery, Mike Huckabee’s campaign chairman loudly bashed their top rival presidential candidate Mitt Romney and made several predictions to two national television reporters.

I overheard Rollins’ conversation while dining in a restaurant called Winston’s located close to Huckabee’s Iowa headquarters and took notes on my computer. Below is a compilation of what I heard:

He distinctly talked about going negative in South Carolina and told someone on the phone to “put some good in there if you have to, with the bad. Do what you gotta do.”

-Rollins let the f-bomb fly twice and told his blonde female dining companion a joke about flying the Confederate flag in the South Carolina state capitol.

Would you buy a used candidate from this man?  A man paid in tuna melts and carrot cake.