McCain Denounces McCain


Presumptive Republican Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain, III denounced comments he made earlier today saying that they had no place in his campaign. The comments in question related to Democrat hopefuls Hillary Clinton and He Who Shall Not Be Named* regarding his knowledge of a misunderstood group of freedom fighters in Iraq:

GOP presidential candidate John McCain mocked Democrat Barack Obama today for saying he’d take action as president “if al-Qaida is forming a base in Iraq.”

McCain told a crowd in Tyler, Texas “I have some news. Al-Qaida is in Iraq. It’s called ‘al-Qaida in Iraq.'”

McCain said he didn’t watch Obama and Democratic rival Hillary Rodham Clinton debate last night in Cleveland. But he said he was relayed Obama’s response when asked if as president he’d reserve the right to send U.S. troops back into Iraq to quell an insurrection or civil war.

When Mr. McCain was reached for comment by reporters, the Straight Talk Express didn’t mince words:

“Mockery of my betters in this campaign is unacceptable no matter who’s doing it, even me. You know, this is a free country and all but people don’t have a right to say whatever they want in my campaign. Hillary and He Who Shall Not Be Named* are honorable Americans who deserve to run a clean race without us nasty Republicans making fun of their good names”, as he got down on bended knee.

“I want to disassociate myself from my disparaging remarks about their ability to lead this country. It was totally uncalled for and I am being dealt with appropriately. I cede no moral high ground when it comes to treating my opponents with respect – whether it’s Hillary or what’s his face.”

UPDATE:  Next!


  1. I really have to think about voting for Obama at this point, or just maybe getting so drunk on Election Day that I have to stay home. Sure he has no major experience or accomplishments, he may or may not be a Muslim, he may or may not be a crackwhore, and all indications are his policy preferences will be fumbling, adolescent, moronic fuckups, even by the standards of the extreme left wing.

    But at least he doesn’t spend half his time pandering to his opposition, and apologizing for who he may or may not be. Isn’t McCain supposed to be the epitome of implacable will, the guy who wouldn’t lick the boots of his Communist torturers, the enemies of America, no matter what they did to him? Why has he spent the last few years doing just that? The Hanoi Hilton itself couldn’t turn him into a self-loathing bitch, but his own ambition to be president apparently has. How’m I supposed to vote for somebody like that?

  2. Because the Hanoi Hilton couldn’t change people the way the Capital Hilton in Washington, D.C. can.

    Let the paid punditry shill for a guy they hate while he’s pissing in their faces like the human toilet seats they are. Let them eat urinal cake.

    I’m sitting this one out. No one wants McCain. If he thinks that throwing people from his own side under the Straight Talk Express is going to prime his path to the Presidency, someone needs to be holding the spike strip before they go under.

    I never thought I’d say this but I would take Romney or Huckabee over McCain. There’s still time.

  3. I will do anything short of voting for a Donk. I will vote, but it will be for state and local races and U.S. House and Senate. I’ll just skip over that nasty Executive branch altogether.

    There is never ANY REASON to vote for B. Hussein Obama or Cankles.

  4. Following Juan McLame’s lead, I suggest to you, Mr. Holmes, that you should ban anyone who uses your middle name on this blog!

    Wait a minute…it’s in your handle. OK, then following Juanny Mac’s lead, you must ban yourself! Sucks for you, pal. 😀

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