Month: April 2008

No Honor Among Thugs

Looks like the Titans are going to be giving up that 4th Round draft pick next year. News Channel 5 in Nashville is reporting that the man hilariously accused of extorting a mere $15k from Jones is singing like Beverly Sills that Pacman ordered the shooting, has lied to police, that he knows the shooter’s name and address and been obstructing justice (if true) this entire time.

If this accusation holds water then Adam Jones’ short-lived career is about to receive an already long overdue eulogy:

A 29-year-old man arrested for a Las Vegas strip club shooting said suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones ordered the 2007 shooting, which injured three people.


Jones told police Edwards extorted $15,000 from him, telling him he needed to pay for “services rendered.”

“I definitely didn’t receive no $15,000,” Edwards said. “I definitely didn’t extort nobody out of no money.”


Edwards said Jones knows the shooter well. Edwards said the shooter is part of a crowd Jones hangs out with in Atlanta.

“He knows they name,” Edwards said. “He knows they street name. He needs to tell on them instead of trying to put this on me when he knows I didn’t do this and he know I never met him before and he know he don’t know me and I don’t know him.”

Though Edwards is denying all charges, he has since racked up an additional count for 2nd Degree Murder of the English Language.

Wakka-Wakka, Pacman. Looks like Jim Brown’s magic touch has struck again.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Tears of a Saviour

Of course, a modern day Christ would have simply referred to Judas as a “distraction”.

Obama said he heard that Wright had given “a performance” and when he watched news accounts, he realized that it more than just a case of the former pastor defending himself.

“His comments were not only divisive and destructive, I believe they end up giving comfort to those who prey on hate,” Obama said.

Newsflash, your majesty. Your pastor is the one who prays preys on hate and his flock are the ones offering him that comfort.

Nice projection though. I’m pretty sure if Jesus Christ had telephone pollsters that he would have decided to turn water into sparkling grape juice rather than demon wine.

But still, the Obamessiah back pedals in his condemnation for style points and not content:

I think he felt vilified and attacked and I understand him wanting to defend himself,” Obama said. “That may account for the change but the insensitivity and the outrageousness of the statements shocked me and surprised me.”

Spoken like a man who is still going to need Wright’s support to keep his Senate seat when he loses 40+ states. For a candidate with such a rapid reaction team, it took him taking a poll on Wright last night to decide on another foot dragging exercise in damage control.

Let’s keep it real though, O-dawg. Your pastor was asked point blank at the National Press Club if he thought that Jesus Christ was the only way into heaven and he obfuscated (at 9:30 into the video). A professional Christian who doesn’t believe in Christ and a Black Liberation Theologian Charlatan who retires to a 98% white gated community.

I guess nothing is more liberating than freeing yourself of the guilt of having to face all those black people whose money you stole after tossing them false scraps of salvation from your angry table.

Commandment Watch:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

And that’s Strike Three, Reverend.   Thanks for playing.

Hottest Brother In AmeriKKKa Flames Out

He Who Cannot Be Disowned.

But Obama never heard any of this kind of talk before in twenty years. Talk that Wright freely indulged in the pulpit and in that most sacrosanct chamber of privacy – The National Press Club. (while hiding behind a bunch of thugs from the Nation of Islam) and seemingly any time a microphone is placed in front of him.

Should it become necessary in the months from now to identify the moment that doomed Obama’s presidential aspirations, attention is likely to focus on the hour between nine and ten this morning at the National Press Club.


Speaking before an audience that included Marion Barry, Cornel West, Malik Zulu Shabazz of the New Black Panther Party and Nation of Islam official Jamil Muhammad, Wright praised Louis Farrakhan, defended the view that Zionism is racism, accused the United States of terrorism, repeated his view that the government created the AIDS virus to cause the genocide of racial minorities, stood by other past remarks (“God damn America”) and held himself out as a spokesman for the black church in America.

In front of 30 television cameras, Wright’s audience cheered him on as the minister mocked the media and, at one point, did a little victory dance on the podium.

Quite a spectacle. Sadly, the majority of black people believe every word he said. It’s what’s taught in their homes. It’s what’s taught in their churches and you would be hard pressed to find black teachers (at a collegiate level) who would disagree.

If this is an attack on the black church it is one that is long overdue. The black church is a host to a cancer in need of irradiating sunlight.

You want to have a national discussion on race? Start by explaining how this bigot married you to your America hating wife, baptized your elitist children, propelled your pigmentation-based career and how he was your spiritual mentor and inspiration for your best-selling book but that you never heard any of this bull before. Have you heard it now?

Prepare fingerwag in 3….2…..1. He’s your “former” pastor though so you can’t disown him. After all, he retired an entire month ago.

Close with another landmark speech on race followed closely by a new superdelegate announcement in your favor.

Maybe when the time comes to vote on Wright you can vote “present” again like you have on everything else.

I Illegally Recorded Your Phone Call And Leaked It To The Media Because I Love The First Amendment

After years of complaining about the Patriot Act, there are now a little over one million hypocritical reasons, why Baghdad Jim McDermott is on the losing end of a richly deserved lawsuit:

Rep. Jim McDermott has paid more than $1 million to House Minority Leader John Boehner, ending a decade-long dispute over an illegally taped telephone call.

McDermott, a Seattle Democrat, paid $1,093,297 to the Ohio Republican’s campaign committee earlier this month, spokesman for the two men said Monday.

Illegally taping phone conversations for partisan gain??? A chill wind blows! Er, um…well, blew.

“Every last penny will be used to help elect Republicans,” Smith said, calling it ironic that McDermott — an outspoken partisan — “is helping fund the defeat of his fellow Democrats. I wouldn’t expect he’ll receive a lot of thank you’s come November.”

McDermott, for his part, was unbowed.

“While the amount of damages assessed in this case is significant,” he said, “I submit that defending the First Amendment is beyond measure and worth every penny.”

Keep telling yourself that, jerky. If only he would extend the same privacy rights to his fellow citizens that he does to the terrorists.

Wanton Speculation

Why is Bill Richardson associating with Hugo Chavez? After Carter, Pelosi, McDermott, I guess we should get used to people negotiating with foreign governments when it’s not their place. That would certainly explain why Obama’s name is burning up the laptops of FARC terrorists. Sorry if I’m seeing a connection between the guy who had an ugly public split with his ex-boss when he endorsed you a month ago.

It would also explain Obama’s tactic of rejecting trade with Colombia (an ally) which would weaken it and strengthening a far-leftist like Chavez in the region.

All the coincidences keep flowing in the same direction.

And the hits keep comin’:

In other words, Richardson just delivered the Hugo Chavez endorsement. Will Americans see Hugo’s blessing as a compelling reason to vote for Obama, or to vote for John McCain? And just how vapid can Richardson be to cheerfully deliver that bombshell on CNN?

Senor Richardson is El Vapido.  And apparently hispanic.

The NFL Draft Is Well Underway

And the Titans are addressing our desperate need at running back by picking Chris Johnson from East Carolina. Obama knows we need it and keeping with TT’s tradition of picking lesser known players in an attempt to save a buck or three. 4.2 speed. Think about that for a second. Get his weight right and you’ve got a little bowling ball rolling down the field if his vision’s tight.

The addition of Alge Crumpler at tight end in the offseason cannot be overstated. He’s the best TE in the game and I don’t care who says otherwise. Todd Heap lovingly massages monkey balls at the zoo compared to Crumpler. In a Coach Fish offense, Crumpler’s role is integral to a successful scrambling, PA quarterback.

Now all we need is an OT, 2 DTs, the deep threat WR, and a LB to compliment Keith Bulluck and we’re going to be in bidness.

w00t! Nowhere to go but up. Chime in with your draft comments if you think we fubbed up.

I’ve got to head down the street. It’s a A Vast Chicken Wing Conspiracy thing.

Round #2 – One for the Road! (more…)

Your Tax Refund And You

Here’s an interesting video from (Video after the jump)

At the Cranky household, we had a great debate to do with our check.

My daughter, the fiscal conservative, wants to send the entire balance to Citibank and get us out of debt.

On the other side was my son, the economist, (and I’m not making this up) wants to stimulate the economy (his words) and preserve the spirit of the stimulation package (my words). Yes, it would enrich American Eagle, but that’s the point.

What are you going to do with your free gubmint money?


Obama and The People’s Blogger

Maybe this whole “unity” message that Obama espouses really means “collectivism”. The intrepid Stop the ACLU finds that the Obama campaign blogger is something of a Marxist.

This time we find that the Obama campaign’s official blogger, Sam Graham-Felsen, has spent time in France participating in labor riots, has written for a socialist magazine, hung a communist flag in his home, and was a fan of Marx while at Harvard.

I suppose the sunny messages resonate with folks who believe the Marxist vision of a government-sponsored utopia. Maybe your tractor won’t be appropriated by the Party, but surely that pesky money you have lying around can be put to better use.

Look, this is nowhere near the magnitude of Jerimiah Wright or Bill Ayers. This is more an exercise in bad judgment than (yet another) deep flaw in Obama’s personal associations.

… but …

Obama’s entire message is unity, hope, post-racialism and an optimistic view of the future. Yet every actual action has pointed to identity politics, radical leftism, Carteresque foreign policy and the broadest interpretation of abortion rights including heinous opposition to the “Born Alive” infant protection bill.

Providing Medical Treatment to Children Born Alive After A Failed Abortion
In 2002, while serving in the Illinois State Legislature, Obama voted “No” on the Born Alive Infant Protection Package (SB 1661), a bill which would create a cause of action against a physician if a child is born alive after an attempted abortion and the physician, harms, neglects or fails to provide medical care for the Child.

Sorry to take the detour into abortion, but it really shows that through assocations and actions, Barack Obama is no moderate.

I really wanted to protest the McCain presidency by sitting this one out. But thanks to the Democrats choices in nominees, I’ll have to dust off my McCain2008 buttons and take a Spanish refresher course.

How Do I Reach Deez Keedz?

It’s a simple mistake. One anyone could have made.

Though many of our amigos come to this rapidly depreciating great land of ours to make a living by doing jobs Americans Don’t Want To Do, some habits are too hard to break:

A Mexican official allegedly swiped half a dozen or more BlackBerrys belonging to his White House counterparts during a U.S.-Mexico summit this week, according to news reports.


Rafael Quintero Curiel, a member of Calderon’s press office, allegedly took six or seven BlackBerrys belonging to White House staff from a table outside a room in the hotel where Mexican officials were meeting with Bush…


The U.S. Secret Service is said to have caught Quintero Curiel pocketing the devices on a surveillance video. Mexican media confirmed the story and Mexican officials told The Times today that Quintero Curiel was fired after he returned to Mexico. According to Fox News, the Secret Service caught up with him at the airport, where he “said it was purely accidental, gave [the BlackBerrys] back, claimed diplomatic immunity and left New Orleans with the Mexican delegation.”

¡Ay, caramba! How do I reach deez keedz?

Sr. Quintero was apprehended selling the Blackberrys by the bag at the off-ramp to the Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans. He deftly played the Bill Belichick card and responded to the Secret Service that when he was told that he was going to America to pick Blackberrys that he misunderstood the job requirements.

“A gringo pulled up in a limousine and picked up our Mexican delegation in the parking lot of a Shell station a few miles from the Summit”, Quintero Curiel explained. “They left me in a room and I see a bunch of blackberries so I started picking them. I’m going to chalk this up to a cultural differences.”

Presumptive Republican vice-presidential candidate Mike Huckabee Jack Kemp Arlen Spektre Lindsey Graham seized on the plight of Sr. Quintero to underscore the need to half-heartedly fund an imaginary fence along the U.S. southern border to make the bigots shut up.

Simple Enough Even a Demotard Can Understand It

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much:

“He’s a politician, I’m a pastor,” he said. “We speak to two different audiences. And he says what he has to say as a politician. I say what I have to say as a pastor. But they’re two different worlds.”

Translation: Obama can’t tell you how he really feels about how we deserved 9/11 and how AIDS and crackifibed cocaine was created by the U.S.K.K.K. of A gubmint to destroy Mandingo. He’s a politician. He’ll lie to your momma’s face. Or to say that he isn’t a rogue, closet-Muslimed agent of Brother Farrakhan. Me on the other hand….I’ll be on Bill Moyers tomorrow night telling you what your cracker ass needs to hear. The Troof ™.

Set the Tivo, honkies. You grafted white devils might learn something.

Meanwhile, John McCain has his Public Disavowal speech on standby for anyone who will dare to link this dashiki wearing fool to his political better.

UPDATE Live from the Bates Motel: In police custody and under a watchful eye, even Norman Bates thought to himself that he’d never hurt a fly.  But despite a squinty-eyed Bill Moyers trying to recast the Reverend Wrong, he remains unapologetic in his condemnation of the people of this country (1st clip):

“It’s to paint me as something. Something’s wrong with me.

(imitating his detractors) There’s nothing wrong with this country.   It’s policies.  We’re, we’re – perfect.  We’re, we’re our hands are free.   Our hands have no blood on them.”

We’re Still Waiting Nancy

While entering receipts into my financial software this week, I couldn’t help but pause at the high dollar amount we had spent on gas. Even though two years ago, Nancy Pelosi promised to reign in skyrocketing gas prices, I am still spending $50+ to fill up a Mazda 3.

With record gas prices, record CEO pay packages, and record oil company profits, Speaker Hastert and the Majority Congress continue to give the American people empty rhetoric rather than join Democrats who are working to lower gas prices now.

Yes, the classic line. I loved it and then and I still love it now: blame the rich guys. In Pelosi’s warped mind, J.R. Ewing and the boys are all hanging out at South Fork having a good laugh over cigars and martinis while wiping their asses with hard-earned dollars stolen from poor Americans. It wouldn’t surprise me to find an old “I love to hate J.R. Ewing” t-shirt tucked away in her closet.

Democrats have a commonsense plan to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels.

Price-gouging was quite a charge for her to make. I suppose that we can make the assertion that price-gouging had increased under her watchful eye. Since prices have gone up considerably, can we also assume that the opposite of everything her common-sense plan promises has occurred during the Pelosi years?

As Mr. Holmes mentioned in a previous posting, neither side of the political spectrum has really put forth a real effort. However, House Witch Pelosi did such a fine job with injecting us with a little optimism, that it breaks my bitter little heart to see her fail on her promise.

McCain Fights Back Against the Extremists

You know the ones – the extremists in his own “party”. Apparently this ad was simply beyond-the-pale for his royal highness. Don’t be afraid. Go ahead and watch it.

There. Are you okay? Then apparently you’re tougher than McCain. This one really hurt his feelings.

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain, of Arizona, moved quickly on Wednesday to reject the ad. “I have been committed to running a respectful campaign based upon an honest debate about the great issues confronting America today. I expect all state parties to do so as well. The television advertisement you are planning to air degrades our civics and distracts us from the very real differences we have with the Democrats,” said McCain in a letter to the North Carolina Republican Party Chair Linda Davis.

McCain demanded that Davis discontinue plans to run the ad: “It is imperative that you withdraw this offensive advertisement.”

That’s the fighting spirit we’ve become accustomed to during your many years in the Senate, McCain. Just go ahead and make Jack Kemp your running mate and hand the election over already.

At least the North Carolina Republican Party has some balls. Go give ’em a buck or two so that they can run the ad in spite of the little man’s hissy fit.

Do You Know What Divine Intervention Is?

My guess is that it would look something like this:

INDIANAPOLIS – A bank teller pregnant with twins was shot in the abdomen during a robbery Tuesday morning, but both the teller and the fetuses survived the attack, authorities said.


The masked gunman came into the Huntington Bank branch around 9:30 a.m., jumped over the counter screaming, shot the teller and grabbed cash from her drawer, police said. He fired another shot as he ran out of the bank.

The bullet entered the abdomen of Katherin Shuffield, 30, who is five months pregnant, but missed both fetuses, Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard said.

Police said the gunman used a compact assault rifle.

Shuffield was hospitalized in critical but stable condition, police spokesman Sgt. Paul Thompson said.

The Rejoinder: Do you believe? Well, I’d like to but reality keeps cleansing the magic dust out of my eyes:

A pregnant bank teller lost the twins she was carrying when she was shot in an Indianapolis bank robbery, a prosecutor said Friday.

Katherin Shuffield, who was five months pregnant, was critically wounded in the robbery Tuesday morning at a Huntington Bank branch. Police have been searching for the gunman.

Marion County chief trial prosecutor David Wyser announced the unborn twins’ deaths Friday.

Authorities and the family had said the 30-year-old Shuffield had been wounded in the abdomen but that the bullets had not hit the twins.

But complications had set in, and one twin was born dead and the other died after birth, said Marion County’s chief deputy coroner, Alfarena Ballew.

Nice going, assholes. You shot a pregnant woman and killed her two babies over a couple of hundred dollars. Remind me why so many of you jerkoffs are against the death penalty again?

Some people need killing to keep the ph balance in the gene pool straight.

Keepin’ It Real With Planned Parenthood

Apparently keeping Margaret Sanger’s dream alive is still a core value at Planned Parenthood.

Planned Parenthood’s latest trouble began when a feisty pro-life student magazine called Planned Parenthood offices in seven states, posing as an openly racist donor seeking to make sure his check could be earmarked to abort “a black baby.” The resulting phone conversations are horrifying listening.

According to the group, Planned Parenthood officers in at least four states agreed not only to accept the racists’ check, but to actually earmark the donation for that purpose. “The less black kids the better,” the caller tells one Planned Parenthood employee. “For whatever reason we’ll accept the money,” was one typical response.

The Planned Parenthood Action Fund is promising to spend $10 million this election cycle. “These donations come even as Planned Parenthood is defending itself against a range of civil and criminal complaints in several states, and critics charge that the organization is trying to buy influence in Congress,” notes ABC News.

We’ve touched on the Sanger death cult before, but this bit of home-spun investigative journalism has led to a modern-day admission that Eugenics still appears to be an important ingredient in their death soup.

h/t Laura

I’ve Got Gas

It looks like the House GOP is trying to grow a pair thanks to high gas prices.

“Two years ago this week, you stated that House Democrats had a ‘commonsense plan’ to ‘lower gas prices,’ ” the letter said. “In light of the skyrocketing gasoline prices affecting working families and every sector of our struggling economy, we are writing today to respectfully request that you reveal this ‘commonsense plan’ so we can begin work on responsible solutions to help ease this strain.”

The letter is signed by Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), Minority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), Conference Chairman Adam Putnam (R-Fla.), Policy Chairman Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.) as well as other members of leadership: Reps. Kay Granger (R-Texas), John Carter (R-Texas), Tom Cole (R-Okla.) and Eric Cantor (R-Va.).

In a press release dated April 24, 2006, Pelosi said, “Democrats have a commonsense plan to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels.” The letter cited policies put in place during the GOP control of Congress that the Speaker claimed had raised prices on American consumers to benefit oil companies.

The House GOP leaders’ letter points out that the price of gasoline has spiked $1.18 since Democrats took over in January and stands at $3.51.

The ugly truth is that both left and right are to blame. The left for killing our ability to search for domestic sources of oil as well as keeping us from building more refineries to increase production using the oil already available, and the right for being a bunch of limp-wristed pansies for not fighting back – and for smooching the starfishes of every royal family scumbag in the Saudi kingdom.

Or, as the Emperor puts it…

Bill doesn’t have too much sympathy left either, but we’ll go one step further and say to the members of the Great Unwashed who insist on voting Dhimmicrat or RINO: You would do well to forget about whining to us, because you only have your knuckledragging, mouthbreathing, sub-arugula IQs to thank for it.

If you hideously mentally deficient freaks of an unkind nature didn’t persist in voting for your Big Nanny candidates, then new refineries would have been built, domestic resources would have been utilized, nuclear energy would be the norm for domestic energy purposes and we wouldn’t have a bunch of functionally retarded politicians pushing an ethanol scam that ALREADY has caused sky-rocketing food prices and worldwide famine, as any even half-way sentient orangutan could have told you. As a matter of fact, a lot of people DID tell you, and not all of them orangutans either, but you drooling fucktards just couldn’t quit your fascination with the public teat for long enough to actually vote INTELLIGENTLY.

So when you’re having a nosebleed filling up the tank at the gas station, THANK YOURSELVES.

When you’re having to pop half a bottle of Xanax to dull the edge of the anxiety when paying your utility bills, THANK YOURSELVES.

And when the airwaves are flooded 24/7 with pictures of starving, fly-bothered infants with beach ball tummies in the third world, THANK YOURSELVES.

Will the combination of crippling oil prices and global food shortages slap our moronic politicians into reality? Don’t count on it.

This Just In – Pennsylvania More Racist Than Misogynistic

Hillary wins the state and wins it big.

With 99 percent of precincts reporting, Clinton had 55 percent of the vote to her rival’s 45 percent, making it a 10-point margin.

The results weren’t unexpected. Clinton did well in western parts of the state and the area around Scranton. But Obama had a strong showing in Philadelphia and its suburbs.

But here’s reason to celebrate for Obama: one in four voters had a household family income of more than $100,000 a year. And about the same amount reported having a post-graduate degree.

The working class, largely Catholic and pro-union voters turned out for Hillary. Obama couldn’t produce enough of the wealthy-but-feeling-guilty-about-it demographic to counter it.