Month: May 2009

And my golf clubs will go…where?

Via Drudge…meet the new General Motors:

DETROIT (AP) – With an almost certain bankruptcy filing days away, General Motors is beginning its reinvention, planning to retool one factory to make its smallest vehicles ever in the U.S. and rid itself of the biggest.

The moves provided more clues about what a restructured GM might look like ahead of the expected Chapter 11 filing Monday. Taxpayers will eventually own nearly three-quarters of a leaner GM, with a total government commitment of nearly $50 billion.

GM said it plans to reopen a shuttered U.S. factory to build subcompact cars. The retooled factory would be able to build 160,000 cars a year and create 1,200 jobs, offsetting some of the 21,000 that will be lost when GM closes 14 factories by the end of next year.

GM is banking on more demand for smaller cars previously shunned by Americans. The government decided earlier this month to raise fuel economy standards for the entire U.S. fleet by 2016.

So what will the new car company that I own produce? Crap like this:

GM Small Car

Setting aside the fact that I would never own a car painted that color, I can’t even fit into that car…

…hmm…actually I probably will be able to squeeze into that car soon because I’m sure the Obama administration’s brown shirts will mandate that I lose 50 lbs or I’ll be thrown in “fat prison”.

Anyway, PJ O’Rourke points out that car manufacturers just don’t get it:

Politicians, journalists, financial analysts and other purveyors of banality have been looking at cars as if a convertible were a business. Fire the MBAs and hire a poet. The fate of Detroit isn’t a matter of financial crisis, foreign competition, corporate greed, union intransigence, energy costs or measuring the shoe size of the footprints in the carbon. It’s a tragic romance—unleashed passions, titanic clashes, lost love and wild horses.

Early witnesses to the automobile urged motorists to get a horse. But that, in effect, was what the automobile would do—get a horse for everybody. Once the Model T was introduced in 1908 we all became Sir Lancelot, gained a seat at the Round Table and were privileged to joust for the favors of fair maidens (at drive-in movies). The pride and prestige of a noble mount was vouchsafed to the common man. And woman, too. No one ever tried to persuade ladies to drive sidesaddle with both legs hanging out the car door.

Thus cars usurped the place of horses in our hearts. Once we’d caught a glimpse of a well-turned Goodyear, checked out the curves of the bodywork and gaped at that swell pair of headlights, well, the old gray mare was not what she used to be. We embarked upon life in the fast lane with our new paramour. It was a great love story of man and machine. The road to the future was paved with bliss.


A real car

Then we got married and moved to the suburbs. Being away from central cities meant Americans had to spend more of their time driving…

The car ceased to be object of desire and equipment for adventure and turned into office, rec room, communications hub, breakfast nook and recycling bin—a motorized cup holder. Americans, the richest people on Earth, were stuck in the confines of their crossover SUVs, squeezed into less space than tech-support call-center employees in a Mumbai cubicle farm. Never mind the six-bedroom, eight-bath, pseudo-Tudor with cathedral-ceilinged great room and 1,000-bottle controlled-climate wine cellar.

We became sick and tired of our cars and even angry at them. Pointy-headed busybodies of the environmentalist, new urbanist, utopian communitarian ilk blamed the victim…

…If we would all just get on our Schwinns or hop a trolley, they said, America could become an archipelago of cozy gulags on the Portland, Ore., model with everyone nestled together in the most sustainably carbon-neutral, diverse and ecologically unimpactful way.

I don’t believe the pointy-heads give a damn about climate change or gas mileage, much less about whether I survive a head-on with one of their tax-sucking mass-transit projects. All they want to is to make me hate my car.

Well…screw that. I own a big convertible with a big trunk. I love it and I love driving it. I plan on getting another big car with lots of room to put golf clubs, chilluns, ice chests…and a frame that can crush a Smart Car.

In fact, does anyone have one of these for sale?


Post-Racial Klingon Mating Ritual

Come, my turtle dove.   Let us jet off to New Yawk, so that we may dance lightly in our carbon footprint and hate on whitey:

President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama landed in New York Saturday afternoon, and after taking a helicopter from JFK into Manhattan, drove up the West Side Highway, where the northbound lanes were shut down by police for their visit, past Ground Zero, into the Village for dinner at the Village’s Blue Hill restaurant. From there, they went north to Times Square, where they went to to see a production of “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone” at the Belasco Theater on West 44 Street.

“Joe Turner’s Come and Gone” is your typical black person’s romantic drama.  Set against the backdrop of emancipated slaves fleeing the racist South (as if there’s some other “South”), nothing’s mo’ entertaining than an evening of ebonified steppin’ and fetchit dialogue.  A lead character who’s been sexually emasculated by The Man ™ and railroaded by his justice system, whose wife (cast to the winds of diaspora) decided to move on with her life cause she got tired of waiting on him to get out of jail, the only white character is a Jewish former slave trader who sows mistrust between black folk and everything works out thanks to one character who never forgot his black magic witchcraft roots:

Scene Five– In the final scene Loomis and Zonia leave the boardinghouse as it is Saturday. Bertha tells Mattie that all she needs in life is love and laughing- which they all start to do. Then Martha Pentecost [Loomis] enters with Selig looking for Loomis and Zonia. Loomis reenters with Zonia and he recounts the last decade of his life; his search for her and the heartache it has caused him. Martha tells him that she has moved on with her life because she couldn’t wait for him any longer. Martha also reveals that she had Bynum put a binding spell on her and Zonia and that is why they have come to find each other. Loomis goes into a rage and pulls out a knife. He denounces his Christian background and slashes his chest. The stage directions read “Having found his song, the song of self-sufficiency, fully resurrected, cleansed and given breath, free from any encumbrance other than the workings of his own heart and the bonds of the flesh, having accepted the responsibility for his own presence in the world, he is free to soar above the environs that weighed and pushed his spirit into terrifying contractions.” He leaves and the play ends with Bynum yelling “Herald Loomis, you shining! You shining like new money!”

How do you top that?  Protagonist finds spiritual redemption by cutting his chest with a knife (in some iterations he then smears his blood all over his face), renounces his Christian faith and abandons his former wife and daughter to the delusion of Whitey’s God.  What an odd entertainment choice for this President.

Lawdy!  I don’t think Jeremiah Wright could have said it any better.  Now put your shiny, new money in the offering plate and pass it down for the greater good.

RELATED: For criticizing this expensive, one-off trip, noted Huffin’ Glue Poster and Lightworker aficionado Mark Morford sez Rush Limbaugh has depraved gay sexual fantasies about children.  Always a classy outlet that Huffin’ Glue Post is.

To recap, saying Sotomayor’s membership in “La Raza” and comments about being able to make better decsions because of her race = You’re the racist.   Criticizing a gratuitous, climate-harming jaunt to watch a racist play means you’re a child-hungry pedophile = good clean fun!

What “freedom” is like in an Obama world

A little old, but I didn’t see any mention of this on my usual blog haunts. While driving in the freezing California rain today (thank you Al Gore) and listening to the radio, Roger Hedgecock drew my attention to this:

A Louisiana driver was stopped and detained for having a “Don’t Tread on Me” bumper sticker on his vehicle and warned by a police officer about the “subversive” message it sent, according to the driver’s relative.

The situation developed in the small town of Ball, La., where a receptionist at the police department told WND she knew nothing about the traffic stop, during which the “suspect” was investigated for “extremist” activities, the relative said.

I guess that would make every Marine who has ever flown one of these flags “subversive”:


Probably just some backwoods hick Louisiana Sheriff who had some poor judgment, right? In isolated incident?

Maybe I would think that myself…except it happened again right here in San Diego County. Via Chandler’s Watch:

On Saturday afternoon, May 9th, Jim Betz, a Patriot and border watch volunteer pulled into the Golden Acorn Casino parking lot to get gas. The Casino complex is about 7 miles north of the border in East San Diego County.

As he was exiting the parking lot about 10 minutes later to head down to the border, he passed a stationary sheriffs car just off the casino property and stopped at a stop sign right in front of him. Jim sat at the stop sign for about 20 seconds until all the cross traffic had cleared. During those 20 seconds or so, the deputy had a clear, close view of the back of Jim’s old Ford Bronco.

Sure enough, about 30 seconds later, Jim saw flashing lights in his rearview mirror and pulled over. Jim had violated no traffic laws and done nothing wrong, so he couldn’t imagine why this cop had followed him and pulled him over. The deputy told Jim he had pulled him over and was citing him for not having a front license plate – an almost unheard of excuse for a traffic stop in California.

As Deputy Hobson went to the back of Jim’s Bronco, Jim and his wife noticed he was back there for quite a while and seemed to be writing a lot on his pad. Jim could see that he was not even looking down at his license plate. He was writing down all the wording on his 4 bumper stickers on a separate pad of paper!

Now why would local law enforcement agencies be selecting vehicles to pull over based on their bumper stickers?

Oh yeah.

Now this is especially galling to me because during any trip down a San Diego freeway, you might see one of these stickers on a back windshield:


Can you imagine the ACLU outrage if someone was pulled over for sporting one of those on their car?

“American capitalism gone with a whimper “

If there is a columnist who can rightly analyze what is going on in the US, it’s this one:

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different “branches and denominations” were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the “winning” side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America’s short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

Is there anything we can do to stop this train from crashing? Perhaps desperate times call for desperate measures…

Global Warming Weenie of the Week

President Barack Obama, the most intelligent President in recent history, evah, sure knows how to pick a brain trust.

To Joe Biden, Janet Napolitano and Timothy Geithner, add the name…Steven Chu:

President Obama’s energy adviser has suggested all the world’s roofs should be painted white as part of efforts to slow global warming.

Professor Steven Chu, the US Energy Secretary, said the unusual proposal would mean homes in hot countries would save energy and money on air conditioning by deflecting the sun’s rays.

More pale surfaces could also slow global warming by reflecting heat into space rather than allowing it to be absorbed by dark surfaces where it is trapped by greenhouse gases and increases temperatures.


This guy has a Nobel Prize?

Now I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to think of something sarcastic to say (for you, Laurie Kendrick)…but this idea is so absurd I think we can laugh at it on its own merit.

You know what we need? We need a really GREAT photoshop right about now. Does anyone around here know anyone who can put together a photoshop on the stupidity of painting EVERY ROOFTOP IN THE WORLD WHITE in order to stem the tide of global warming?

In the meantime, I’ve got a better idea

California Supreme Court to Perez Hilton: Suck it!

The monkeys in the California Supreme Court finally got one right.

By a 6-1 margin:

The California Supreme Court today upheld Proposition 8’s ban on same-sex marriage but also ruled that gay couples who wed before the election will continue to be married under state law.

Although the court split 6-1 on the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the justices were unanimous in deciding to keep intact the marriages of as many as 18,000 gay couples who exchanged vows before the election.

Gabriel Malor at AOSHQ pats himself on the back (he’s entitled) for calling it…and predicts the impending hissy fit:

This is the split decision I predicted. It represents partial victory for both sides, though an empty one for most gay marriage advocates.

Whatever the outcome, I expect bad behavior out of some gay marriage advocates. Rallies are already planned in WeHo. Keep in mind that they do not represent all or even most gay marriage supporters (after all, more straight people opposed Prop 8 than gay!). The violent, bigoted acts of gay marriage supporters in November were domestic terrorism. There’s just no other way to say it. I, and other gay marriage supporters, condemned it then. And I preemptively condemn it now.

Of course this isn’t over. Expect the Gay Rights advocates to make a run at the US Supreme Court as well as putting this issue back on the ballot in 2010.

(And 2012, 2014, 2016, 2018…basically every two years until they get their way)

Keep in mind…the ruling affirmed EVERY SINGLE RIGHT gays currently have under California’s Domestic Partnership laws…they just can’t call their unions “marriage”.

How long until Mario releases his next video calling the Supreme Court Justices “stupid bitches”?

We can never repay…

…the sacrifices made by our men and women in the military in the name of freedom:

One more thing. Until my grandfather’s ashes were entombed at Annapolis last summer, I had never heard the full story of his military service. My grandfather served honorably and valiantly on the USS Endicott.

If you “google” USS Endicott, you won’t read much about its World War II operations. That’s because much of the ship’s World War II mission was classified. The reason I never heard my grandfather speak of his World War II service is that in his mind “classified” meant classified…and until he received an order allowing him to speak of the Endicott’s operations, he would keep silent.

Last summer I heard part of that amazing story. I know my grandfather would not want me to share the story and besides, it’s not really my place to do so.

But I will tell my future children so that they may know of his bravery…and the bravery of all who served on the USS Endicott.

Brothers In Arms

For those of you who were worried (you know who you are), I have not yet succumbed to Mexican pig flu. I found out that the antidote was eating a lot of pork, so I’ve spent the past two weeks on a bacon and BBQ bender. It has gone well.

I am even happier to announce that we’ve added two new members to the Six Meat family – Nigel and Yiddish Steel from This Goes To 11. They’ve been long-time readers/commenters/hellraisers here and they’ve finally accepted our invitation for a login.

Ordinarily, I would say be nice to them during their transition, but they know this place well enough to know better. Welcome, gents!

ABC Panders to The Other Half – Finally

Check out this summer replacement series coming to ABC this May.

Debbie Schussel says:

I recommend you keep your calendar open for Wednesday Night, when at 9:00 p.m., ABC debuts “The Goode Family.” It’s an animated TV series directed by the genius behind the great, must-see “Idiocracy,” Mike Judge, and it sounds hilarious. If you’re like me and sick of the eco-hypocrites and enviro-crazies, this is for you, complete with a vegan dog and an adopted kid from South Africa (who they’re upset turned out to be White).

Full disclosure – I thought Beavis and Butthead was completely lame, so I didn’t care much for Judge. Office Space began to change my perception and after watching Idiocracy (at Brian’s recommendation), I’ve gained all kinds of respect for Mike Judge.

Bonus! A drinking game for Swamp Rabbit and other interested participants. Every time you find a hostile review blasting this show for it’s stereotyping and cliches, take a drink. If you find that the same reviewer really liked a show or movie that played on redneck, Christian or any other conservative stereotypes, drink the whole dang bottle, I’ll buy you a new one.

Beware “Big Green”

The trope goes that Republicans are in bed with Big Business. This collusion is always at the expense of Joe Sixpack (or in liberal circles, Gavin Pelligrino).

But along with the Gore-induced enviro-frenzy, other opportunists have arisen to get a piece of the pie.

From the Wall Street Journal:

Some business leaders are cozying up with politicians and scientists to demand swift, drastic action on global warming. This is a new twist on a very old practice: companies using public policy to line their own pockets.

The tight relationship between the groups echoes the relationship among weapons makers, researchers and the U.S. military during the Cold War. President Dwight Eisenhower famously warned about the might of the “military-industrial complex,” cautioning that “the potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.” He worried that “there is a recurring temptation to feel that some spectacular and costly action could become the miraculous solution to all current difficulties.”

You would be led to believe that the debate is between grass roots environmentalists and pure scientists vs. bought off mouthpieces for “Big Oil”. But, of course, that is an oversimplification that folks like Katie Couric would like to you believe.

Case in point:

The world’s largest wind-turbine manufacturer, Copenhagen Climate Council member Vestas, urges governments to invest heavily in the wind market. It sponsors CNN’s “Climate in Peril” segment, increasing support for policies that would increase Vestas’s earnings. A fellow council member, Mr. Gore’s green investment firm Generation Investment Management, warns of a significant risk to the U.S. economy unless a price is quickly placed on carbon.

You Stupid, Stupid California Voters

Your elected officials and journalists agree; you are very stupid people for rejecting tax hikes.

Since you people put these politicians in office, I’d have to agree. But hey, I’m just a blogger who escaped from the Golden State in 1999. These folks are looking out for your best interests.

First up, the Sacramento Bee, which deleted the article but was reconstructed courtesy of forensic blogger Director Blue.

Good morning, California voters. Do you feel better, now that you’ve gotten that out of your system?

You wanted to show the state’s politicians just how mad you are at them. And you did. Boy, did you ever.

Proposition 1A with its taxes and its spending limit? Too much of one and not enough of the other, you said (or was it the other way around), and voted it down. Never mind that the taxes go into effect anyway. You showed ’em.

The point is that you’re sick and tired of all this political mumbo-jumbo. So you showed those politicians who’s in charge. You. You’re now officially in charge of a state that will be something like $25 billion in the hole for the fiscal year beginning July 1.

So, now that you’ve put those irksome politicians in their place, maybe it’s time to think about this: Since you’re in charge, exactly what do you intend to do about that pesky $25 billion hole in the budget?

Lay off some state workers? Which ones? And how many? Remember, the entire state payroll is about $25 billion. You could lay off every last one of them every Highway Patrol officer, every prison guard, every state firefighter, [Caution, trope alert! -ed] every health inspector, every professor in the UC and CSU systems, every DMV employee and every nameless, faceless paper-shuffling bureaucrat and the state would only be barely in the black. But if you want to do that, go ahead. You’re in charge, remember.

Gateway Pundit shares with us California Rep. Karen Bass (D [duh] LA [double duh]). People aren’t tired of spending – they’re just confused. Her listening tour didn’t turn up a single soul which said you must cut spending. They told her, we elected you, you make the decisions. Apparently, her constituents are Mrs. Wilson’s 5th grade class.

Finally, straight from Silicon Valley’s paper of record, the San Jose Mercury News.

Everybody’s got somebody to blame, but in the end these are services people wanted,” Levy added. “Look at the screaming when you close a swimming pool, let alone try to cut education.”

There is truth to that. But why fund the pool in the first place?

And remember, when you give those b*stard voters the reigns, look what they do.

Top Democrats cite voter initiatives as big drivers in the state’s spending — like the 1994 “three strikes” measure that increased the prison population, or Proposition 98, the 1988 measure guaranteeing at least 40 percent of the general fund for education. Add to that, they say, some major lawsuits the state lost, including a federal case requiring more spending to upgrade prison health care at about $1 billion a year so far.

“If you factor out voter initiatives and court suits, the remaining part of state government grew at or less than inflation and population growth,” said John Laird, a Santa Cruz Democrat who served as Assembly Budget Committee chairman from 2004 to 2008.

This from a Santa Cruz Democrat who hasn’t seen a social justice expense he wouldn’t undersign.

However, this paragraph reveals a more complete picture.

Spending on a few other areas, such as higher education, general government, transportation and environment, also grew faster — by about $1 billion each — than inflation and population over the past five years. That was mostly to cover debt payments on bonds that voters approved for parks and highways, along with moves to limit university tuition increases.

Keep your eyes on California. As Big Hollywood reminds us, “So goes California, so goes the nation.”

Cranky Neocon Returns

I have bad news, friends.

I’ve just received word that Preston is suffering from the Swine Flu. Worse, he unsuccessfully tried to self-medicate with a Nyquil and Meth cocktail.

Michele, ever the heroine, tried to rush Preston to the ER only to be accidentally run off the road when the credit ape became unmoored and hit her speeding Ford F-150.

Completely unrelated, but equally tragic, our very own Brian was beaten near senseless by a group of hairy Nashville Scene staffers ironically wielding their Pabst Blue Ribbon bottles.

So, while our friends are incapacitated, I’m going to make a few changes around here. Not sure what that will entail, but rest assured, it will suck.

That is all.


But Teachers and Firemen are Always First on the Chopping Block

UPDATE: Here is what someone only slightly less influential than Cranky has to say on the subject:

Here is a quick look at the proposed 2009 California budget and some highlights designed to induce vomiting in libertarians.

Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau $1,041,000 (appx. 12 firemen)

What they do:
The Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau licenses and regulates hearing aid dispensers. The Bureau also protects hearing-impaired consumers by informing them of their legal rights and obligations when purchasing or returning hearing aids and protects consumers by maintaining advertising standards.

Just dispensers? I’m guessing there is another bureau to handle hearing aid wires. So what do they do? Do they repair or distribute hearing aid dispensers? Naw, they inform consumers of their rights

Bureau of Barbering and Cosmetology Estimated 2009 budget $9,297,000 (45 elementary school teachers)

What they do:
The Bureau of Barbering and Cosmetology licenses barbers, cosmetologists, electrologists, estheticians, and manicurists after determining, through an examination, that applicants possess the minimum skills and qualifications necessary to provide safe and effective services to the public. The Bureau conducts both routine and directed health and safety inspections of licensed establishments operating in the state. The Bureau also investigates allegations of unprofessional conduct, gross negligence, incompetence, fraud, or unlicensed activity. When warranted, the Bureau takes disciplinary action. The Bureau’s mission is to protect consumers from harm by licensees through its licensing and enforcement programs.

Although it became a bureau directly under the Department of Consumer Affairs, effective July 1, 2008, pursuant to Business and Professions Code Section 101.1(b), its sunset date was extended pursuant to AB 1545 (Chapter 35, Statutes of 2008); therefore it will become a board again, effective January 1, 2009.

OK, so we have a bureau whose main reasons for existence are to restrict the number of people who can enter these (semi-skilled) professions. Consider it a favor to the beauticians who didn’t want competition and scraped up $327.58 to lobby their congressperson.

Perhaps the best course of action in tight times is to let the sunset provision kick in. Send these fifteen-hours-of-actual-work folks back home to catch Maury episodes. However, the state found it in its heart to keep this one alive.

Next up, one for you kids in Marin County!
Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine A bargain at $133,000!

What they do:
The Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine implements and enforces the Naturopathic Doctors Act by licensing and regulating naturopathic doctors in California. The Bureau ensures that naturopathic doctors meet required educational and practice standards before licensure and investigates complaints against its licensees, disciplining those individuals found guilty of violations of law or regulation.

Naturopathic? Geez, do I really need to add anything?