Month: January 2010

Compare And Contrast

Part two in our ongoing series, and because I’m feeling particularly stupid, we continue.

In this episode, we look at Tom T. Hall’s ultra-sappy “I Love” as our SCIENTIFIC EXHIBIT A:

For our SCIENTIFIC EXHIBIT B, we look at Heathen Dan’s “I Like” from the old Doctor Demento radio show. I remember hearing this on Rock 103’s morning show in Memphis when I was just a lad. I can’t stop laughing. I give it a B+. Warning, graphic content.

I’m Not A Bolshevik, I’m A Leninist

See the difference?  Because I don’t.

The guy who spends his whole life thinking about how to screw people in the ass has a plan to stop the ebbs and flows of the global market with some prescription-strength Astroglide applied liberally.  Yea, yea, yea.  A hammer sees every problem as a nail.

QOTD from the prolapsed Prole himself:

Rep. Barney Frank (D., Mass.) said that a bank tax and other tough new measures would be introduced by the individual countries, but in a coordinated way to prevent bankers from moving from one place to another to escape regulation.

“Lenin might have been able to put socialism in one country, but tough bank regulation in one country ain’t going to happen because we will lose people,” said Frank, who heads the House Financial Services Committee, a key spot for any American decisions.

But don’t call them Bolsheviks.  It’s like poison complaining about a skull and crossbones on it’s warning label.

Shorter Frank:  Wenin put sociawism in one country but what we need is a Gwobal Weninist so that the sands of other people’s money won’t swip through our fingers.

You have the head of the House Financial Services Committee arguing in favor of Global Leninism.

You can go ahead and pull your money out of the stock market now.

Jobs Are Your New Boise State

And apparently they aren’t going to get #1 ranking either:

The Obama administration is considering several steps that would review the legality of the controversial Bowl Championship Series, the Justice Department said in a letter Friday to a senator who had asked for an antitrust review.

“The administration shares your belief that the current lack of a college football national championship playoff with respect to the highest division of college football … raises important questions affecting millions of fans, colleges and universities, players and other interested parties,” Weich wrote.

Take your Ritalin, guys.  In a battle between the BCS and the ADHD, I’m betting on the BCS.

Nobody’s solved healthcare.  Nobody’s solved crap.  You don’t want to prosecute the New Black Panthers in Philadelphia but you’re ready to roro-rooter the BCS Series?

“Interested parties” means congressmen and senators who would like free tickets to ogle college poon and prick while they “investigate”.

Jobs are our #1 priority.  Sure.  But they’ll never get above #6 until they schedule a few more Big-12 and SEC games during election season.

If More Republicans Spoke Like This

There is an old boilerplate technique used by journalists where any mention of spending cuts leads directly to images of starving babies, school closings and laid-off firemen.

This was especially effective during the Reagan years and is discussed by Bernard Goldberg in his first book Bias regarding the “homeless crisis”.

This would stop by next Tuesday if Republicans would always respond exactly as Senator Gregg did.

Yes, I’m mining Newsbusters today. My office computer still has a rabbit-ear antenna and it’s the only station I get.

Our Scumbag President And The SOTU

I didn’t watch the SOTU last night, because I know what the “state of the union” is. We have a Marxist/narcissist for a President who has surrounded himself with other Marxist “czars” and is hell-bent on removing our liberties and economic freedom. Our CONgress is filled with socialists, elitists and every other kind of corrupt spend-o-crat that ever crawled out of the city sewer. Why would I watch this bunch of lunatics celebrate this horrible period in our history?

Jonah Goldberg tells me all I need to know.

Obama insists that Americans need to muster the courage to agree with him, to sign on to his agenda. Just as at Omaha Beach and Bull Run, Americans need to show their mettle. “Again, we are tested. And again, we must answer history’s call.” That “call” is the call of Obama.

“I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I can do it alone.” So come on, you slackers, fall into line.

He decried the politicians who are in “permanent campaign” mode — the same week he brought into the White House his campaign manager.

Other politicians are vain, cowardly and insubstantial. They need the courage to change. Meanwhile, Obama is great the way he is.

And what he is is a petulant 3-year-old in a Marxist feminized middle-aged man’s body. On the bright side, America is starting to see through his bullshit charade.

He even had the gall to call out SCOTUS, who made the right decision last week to turn over Juan McShame’s anti-freedom-of-speech “campaign finance reform” bill. Video:

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Wake me when it’s November.

Hell Is The New Heaven

Lucifer got a new head librarian today and he’s already gotten to work re-writing The Bible as the tale of a struggling, working class imp denied a living wage and cast out of eternally subsidized housing by a Zionist slavedriver buttressed by embellished, anonymous and unsubstantiated accounts (narrated by Matt Damon):

Howard Zinn, the Boston University historian and political activist who was an early opponent of US involvement in Vietnam and whose books, such as “A People’s History of the United States,” inspired young and old to rethink the way textbooks present the American experience, died today in Santa Monica, Calif, where he was traveling. He was 87.

More empirical data that the good die young.

“Howard was an old and very close friend,” Chomsky said. “He was a person of real courage and integrity, warmth and humor. He was just a remarkable person.”

Despite Chomsky losing the un-American Simon to his traitorous Garfunkel, we can only hope that he will soon join him in blowing Cerberus for a few licks from his dog bowl while getting the hot poker to an endless replay of “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”.

But it won’t all be fun and games.  As punishment for overflowing Hell’s antiquated sewage system with his bullshit, the Dark Lord then sentences Zinn to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” for all eternity in front of a waving American flag and a burning Soviet one with no reprieve – save a glass of water with a twist of lemon and a loaded shotgun.

MSNBC – Easy Excuses for Simple Minds

Remember, if your worldview is challenged by pesky things like facts, simply observed cause and effect relationships or even the painfully obvious, there is always MSNBC to comfort you.

For example, say you have a very liberal state with an extensive “progressive” history. Say this state, consistent with it’s liberalism, votes overwhelmingly for America’s first African-American presidential candidate. And finally, just suppose that this first African-American president suggests some legislation that is so overwhelmingly horrible that even this liberal state opposes it. If you were rational, mightn’t you conclude that if your most ardent supporters are against something, that this certain something might be deeply flawed?

Well, not if you’re MSNBC


And on MSNBC, you got practically every conceivable expression of venom against Brown and anybody who voted him. From Maddow’s dark suspicions that the election was rigged — she cited complaints about a grand total of six ballots out of about 2.25 million cast — to Olbermann’s suggestion in the video up above that the same Massachusets voters who went for Barack Obama by a 62-28 percent margin had suddenly realized they helped elect a black guy and went Republican in repentance, the network’s coverage was idiotic, one-sided and downright ugly.

Yes, I’m aware that every person with a an IQ greater than lint knows that MSNBC is positioning themselves to be the anti-Fox. And we all know that GE somehow avoids being lumped in with all the Obama administration’s evil corporate bogeymen. But I did this cool Photoshop and needed a reason to post it.

The Tea Party Influence

Here is an interesting look at the Tea Party / Republican Party dynamic from the New York Times(!).

The GOP is recognizing that there is a growing and influential voting bloc in the Tea Party movement. So here begins the delicate dance of continuing to make political sausage and appeasing conservative demands.

When [Republican candidate for Governor of Colorado] Scott McInnis appeared on Fox News last month underneath a title calling him the “Tea-Party-backed candidate” for governor, he triggered a tempest. Tea Party leaders fired off angry e-mail messages and public statements insisting that he was not their choice.

“Let it be known that we will not be used by any party or candidate!” Lu Ann Busse, the head of a coalition of Tea Party brethren known as 9/12 groups, declared at a “Defend the Republic” rally where she was invited to set the record straight after Mr. McInnis’s appearance.

“They thought the platform was going to tie into what we were after, that we would be one big happy family,” said Lesley Hollywood, the leader of the Northern Colorado Tea Party.

Mr. McInnis was promoting the platform on Fox News when they identified him as the Tea Party candidate.

Ms. Hollywood was on the telephone with Ms. Busse, the coalition leader, when she saw the interview. “Did you see that?” she shouted. She sent an e-mail message to her members warning that they were “being played like pawns,” and another to Mr. Wadhams expressing her “extreme disgust” at the “blatant hijacking of the Tea Party.”

Tea Partiers noted that Mr. McInnis made no effort to correct the host, Neil Cavuto, when he called Mr. McInnis “the country’s biggest Tea Party candidate.”

Ms. Busse said Mr. McInnis had failed to get support from Tea Partiers because he received low to middling scores on fiscal conservatism from the Colorado Union of Taxpayers and the National Taxpayers Union during his years as a state representative and a congressman. But Tea Party groups also say he has ignored invitations to their candidate forums and other events.

“My frustration is, I have to do all of this work, now the G.O.P. wants us to do what they want to do?” Ms. Hollywood said. “If we’re the ones doing the work, it has to be the other way around.”

Already, there are signs that the Tea Party movement is devolving and may be a short lived movement, but I believe through 2010, they are performing a long overdue and valuable service.

Jon Stewart Calls Out Olbermann

Maybe this makes me shallow, but I’m liking Stewart more now that he says things I agree with.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Special Comment – Keith Olbermann’s Name-Calling
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Regarding Olbermann, he is simply a carnival barker for an audience that is too young to know what a carnival barker is. He is not worthy of responses from his conservative critics because that is exactly what his audience feeds off of.

Seeing Jon Stewart do this might actually leave a black eye. I dare Olbermann to make Stewart the Worst Person in the World.

UPDATE We now know who the Alpha dog is as Keith rolls over and exposes his throat to the dominant male. Skip to the last 30 seconds.

What Have We Done to Ourselves?

Or better yet, what have we allowed them to do to us?

Today, yet another senseless airline scare brought air-travel to a halt.

We turn a blind eye and allow them to feel-up nuns, frisk 5 years-olds and harrass disabled elderly travelers. We make ridiculous comments like “if it will keep us safe, then I’m all for it”. We pat ourselves on the back at what good citizens we are for tolerating government intrusion into our daily lives.

We are being beaten into submission.

Listen up people – your fellow American is not your enemy! Your knee-jerk, reactionary big-brother Federal Government is your enemy. Those who would rather inconvenience innocent American citizens under the guise of safety rather than address real issues are you enemies. Those who want you to live in fear and look upon your fellow man with suspicion are the real terrorists!

Unfortunately, this Sunday I have to subject myself to the indignity of air travel. God help me.

Remember when flying was kinda fun?

Aim For The Aircraft Carriers

Whatever you say Nancy-san.

UPDATE: Pull Up! Pull Up!

“I don’t see the votes for it at this time,” Pelosi told reporters during her weekly press conference. “The members have been very clear.”

…”We have to get a bill passed. We know that,” Pelosi said, adding that “unease would be a gentle word” to describe House members’ attitude toward the Senate legislation at the moment.

Yes, “unease” is too gentle. Try dyspepsia, nausea, revulsion, phobia, panic.

Good Morning, DNC!

Feel that splash of ice water on your face? Good. Brings everything into sharp focus, it does. I see that you finally got the picture.

“This is a giant wake-up call,” said Terry McAuliffe, the former Democratic National Committee chairman who lost a bid for the Democratic nomination for governor in Virginia last year. “We have to keep our focus on job creation. Everything we have to do is related to job creation. We have to do a much better job on the message. People are confused on what this health care bill is going to do.”

Even before the polls closed, the White House was suggesting the outlines of a recovery strategy, a combination of a more populist tone and an embrace of greater fiscal responsibility.

Mr. Obama has signaled that he intends to take a more populist stance on financial regulation legislation in Congress, seeking to position Democrats as defenders of the people against Wall Street, and to cast Republicans as defenders of bonus-laden bankers. And on Tuesday night, the White House brokered a deal that could lead to a bipartisan commission to recommend spending cuts and tax increases to address the nation’s fiscal condition. For months, Mr. Obama’s advisers had warned that the perception that budget deficits and the national debt were spiraling out of control was alienating independent voters already turned off by partisan battling.

Of course, all the talk above is just that, talk – The message. Considering that the majority of the stimulus was to sustain state spending and expand the federal government, there may be no real improvement in the economy under the Democrats benevolent hand.

By the way, good luck with the casting of “Democrats as defenders of the people against Wall Street, and to cast Republicans as defenders of bonus-laden bankers”. The Republicans should put up pictures of Timothy Geithner offering up wheelbarrows of cash to AIG, Chris Dodd’s Irish Cottage and Barney Frank making kissy-face with Fannie and Freddie at every opportunity.

Meanwhile, as the tide seems to be turning, please keep pressure on our side of the aisle to keep to the principles of fiscal responsibility.

Like Michelle Says.

The GOP brand is still damaged. And instant exploitation of the Brown win — see the NRSC website here — isn’t going to help matters. As I’ve said for many years, the Republican Party needs to clean its own house before it demands that the Democrats clean theirs

One more cautionary note: Tonight is unquestionably a night to celebrate. But remember to manage your expectations, as always, of all politicians. You’ll be less disappointed when they inevitably let you down.

Preach it, sista!

Forget The Jinx, I’m Calling It For Brown

… at 9pm EST

According to results culled from cities and towns and around the Web, the race for the open Massachusetts Senate seat between Republican Scott Brown, Democrat Martha Coakley, and independent Joseph Kennedy currently stands at….Brown 53% – Coakley 46% – Kennedy 1% with 40% reporting.

Um, Nancy, Harry, Obama? I’m not sure if this message is clear, but the bluest of the blue states just sent you a message; “We don’t really want your healthcare.” Ignore this at your own peril.

Here’s to hoping that you ignore this.

-Love, Cranky

Not Really Getting It

From the Boston Globe’s opinion page.

If Martha Coakley loses today, it won’t be because she didn’t put up enough signs on Blue Hill Ave. It’ll be because she failed to convince enough of the people who put up the Obama signs on Blue Hill Ave. and a lot of other avenues across Massachusetts that Obama’s ability to get anything done depends on her winning the election.

Really? Is the candidate’s absolutely inept campaign to blame? Well, to some extent, yes. Her divine right of ascension mentality and the countless gaffes that came with it probably was off-putting even to the generally elitist citizens of Massachusetts.

Maybe the tired rhetoric of looking out for the little guy by taking on evil insurance companies rang hollow even as she openly attended a fundraiser held by the aforementioned evil insurance companies.

Or, and I’m just shooting from the hip here, this is a referendum of Obama’s bankrupt-the-nation agenda?

Well, I’m going to start some premature gloating as the Brown-Coakley election takes place today.

Here’s a preview of some headlines coming out in the next few weeks.

The Boston Tea Parties, Rightwing Activism at its Worst.

Michelle Obama, once again, no longer proud of her country.

Ted Kennedy Weeps for Us All

Brookline’s Institutional Racism

Federally Funded Abortion, Union Exemptions – What’s Wrong With You People?

Students to Obama: You fail!

But c’mon…I think President Obama deserves at LEAST a B+ for breaking the space-time continuum:

The students of the H.W. Smith School in Syracuse, N.Y., are upset with President Obama for answering an invitation to visit their school with a form letter, local television station WSYR reports. The children mailed the president a letter on Nov. 13, inviting him to come help them build a snowman. They included a photo of the group, and wrote about how building a snowman together would demonstrate unity and peaceful living.

The reply they received from the White House was dated Nov. 6 — a week before they sent their letter — and was addressed to “students.”

Now how did Barry know BEFORE the children sent their letter that he needed to respond to them?

Well, it doesn’t matter because Barack Obama has a continual habit of letting down schoolchildren:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

So how do the children feel about getting punked by the President?

Most of the students said they did not expect the president to visit them, but they had hoped for something more personal than a form letter.

“I was disappointed because I think his office could have done better than that,” Kiana Furgeson, a sixth-grader at H.W. Smith said. Simeon Greenberg, a third-grader, added: “I felt disrespected. It was very disappointing to get that kind of response.”

The students decided to answer the White House with a complaint about its informal response, and sent Obama another letter asking him to consider having his staff write personal responses to his mail. “If they wrote the letter we received as an answer on a test, they would not have a passing grade because they did not answer the question,” the students wrote.

Though I’m sure Obama would have given himself a B+ anyway.

I understand the White House is planning on sending “safe schools” Czar Kevin Jennings to HW Smith to make up for their gaffe…