Month: January 2012

Previous Loser Rises From The Dead To Endorse Once And Future Loser

Take that, Newter.  Between Bob Dole and National Review, Romney’s got the limp dick vote all wrapped up:

Dole Goes Nuclear

The Romney campaign sends along a statement by Bob Dole pasted below. Relations between Dole — an establishment figure in the party — and Gingrich were well known to be tense during the 1990s. Here it is:

I have not been critical of Newt Gingrich but it is now time to take a stand before it is too late. If Gingrich is the nominee it will have an adverse impact on Republican candidates running for county, state, and federal offices. Hardly anyone who served with Newt in Congress has endorsed him and that fact speaks for itself. He was a one-man-band who rarely took advice. It was his way or the highway.

Half-dead zombies don’t muster “nuclear” very well.   At best, he can shit his pants and make us all really uncomfortable as he keeps talking and we pretend not to notice.  I’m not a Newt fan by a long stretch but the flood the zone coverage of the establishment right in attacking him just makes me hate Romney more.

Is having the endorsements of the GOP sellouts, paid shills, Brooks Brothers, nancyboys, washed up has-beens and soft-cocked never-were’s the fell blow struck by Team Mittens?

NRO Staff Meeting:  Since we’re out of dick pills, who wants a back rub?

What’s it going to take to get us to buy this used, liberal Masshole.

I’ll tell you what.  I want Mitt Romney to take his starched shirt off.  Take it off. If there’s no magic underwear beneath that suit, I’ll vote for Team Romney.

Because there’s no pill or argument that’s going to make that oddity seem somehow electable.

18 debates and not one question of any depth about Mormonism.  Who’s being setup for the fall?


Prestige: American Hostages Taken Captive By Former Ally We Toppled

This is apparently a feature and not a bug of Smart Diplomacy.

Come on, feel the hopenchange.  After years of Bush’s go it alone unilateralism and disrespect for The Little People, the international love has finally lifted us up where we belong.  Oh, wait.

CAIRO — Egypt has banned the son of U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and at least five other Americans from leaving the country, officials said Thursday, heightening tensions over an Egyptian investigation into groups that promote democracy and human rights.

The State Department’s highest human rights official, Michael Posner, said the move raised concerns about Egypt’s transition to democracy after Hosni Mubarak‘s ouster and could jeopardize badly needed American aid.

Just who do they think we are???  Of course they can take our people hostage and we’ll still give them foreign aid.  We’re loaded and have no standards at all.  We’re the country formerly known as America!  And if you hear anyone say any different then they’re crazy ™.

Other American organizations raided include Freedom House and the National Democratic Institute, which also monitored Egypt’s recent elections.

LaHood said his lawyer has been told that four of the group’s employees, three Americans and one European, are on the list.

A spokeswoman for Freedom House, Mary McGuire, said she was unaware of any change in the employees’ status.

Lisa Hughes, director of the Egypt office of the National Democratic Institute, said Egyptian authorities have said that six staffers are on the list, three Americans and three Serbs. All have been interrogated about the group’s activities.

Hughes, who is on the list, was planning fly home to the U.S. next month, she said. Her organization was also raided in December.

“I think we would be silly not to be concerned,” she said. “We were concerned the moment armed men showed up at our office door, and this has done nothing to calm those concerns.”

I’ve got to give credit where credit is due.  This is all thanks to Obama.  High fives, bro.

Americans should only fear armed American agents showing up at their door for downloading music not some bunch of falafel-eating, fundamentalist Allahphiles seeking to throttle the infant of Egyptian Freedom made possible by the gift of Little Oral Obama’s magical throat muscles.

I think I speak for the Muslim Brotherhood when I say “thank god we have Obama as President”.  We’ll truly know that we’re sitting at the cool kids table again when our Transportation Secretary’s son is dropped down an Egyptian elevator shaft.

I Can Be A Fascist With Or Without You (But I Prefer With)

Apologies for the delay on the SOTU coverage.  It took me a while to get through vomiting blood out of my earballs long enough to find my equilibrium.

So…pretty good speech, huh?

That deafening silence and lack of applause that the casual observer might have noticed during the entire 65 minute speech was quickly filled by Fox News talking heads falling all over themselves about what a great, evenhanded, non-partisan speech that Jugears immaculated from his ice cream hole.  Which was then followed by The Pale Rider himself, Indiana Gov. and wannabe Presidential candidate Mitch Daniels, delivering the Republican address congratulating the Obamessiah for upholding such strong moral values (hint-hint Not like that Newt Gingrich character).

What planet are we on?  You’re attacking a Republican candidate in the primary in the rebuttal to a Communist’s speech on expanding government into every sector of our lives.  Just for that, you can take a leap Daniels. Forever.

And who can forget the illegal alien babies?!?!  If we deport them, it’s like we’re deporting a million, little beige Einsteins.   Or, given all of the love for Apple’s departed leader – another Steve Yobs.   “American to their core”.  Central American – maybe.  Rocket scientists and world-renowned future oncologists every single one.  We can’t let that kind of talent getaway.  Can we perhaps interest you in a free college education?

In the vein of the recently converted Ann Coulter, Charles Krauthammer and a host of others beltway insiders, who any 2010 version of yourself would know to hate Obama to his core, we can count on being pre-emptively lectured and hectored about “not being extremists” because we’ve got to win those moderates with Team Mittens.  What a “bipartisan” speech it was.  Battered Wife Syndrome is alive and well in the Republican Party.  You’re so used to how bad Obama is that if he whispers some sweet, bipartisan nothings in your ear that you’re ready to roll your wheelchair into oncoming traffic for him.  I’m not sure if Sister Wife-in-training Ann really saw the speech yet since she’s been too occupied flashing her beef curtains to Mitt and Chris Christie.  If it’s not wagyu, Obama’s not watching honey.

The ham-fisted rhetorical setups about government watching over farmers spilling their milk soon followed by moronic Republicans slapping their hands together in agreement so quickly dashed by the cocked right fist demanding stricter drilling laws and greater dependence on foreign oil.  Seriously.  You fall for that shit?   This speech was 8th grade agitprop at best but the Republican response makes Obama look like he’s playing Star Trek Tri-Dimensional Chess while they stick their tiny little dicks in a fan.  Obamacare is going to have massive cost overruns if Republican figure out that “neuticle” surgeries are covered to implant fake balls in their empty scrotums.

Forcing the Navy to buy biofuel, that we subsidized to create, at a cost of four times that of regular fuel is screwing us both ways.  I half expected him to say that we would bring American jobs back from China to manufacture sails to put on our battleships and aircraft carriers to make them Greener(tm).  But alas, no.  Paying four times current fuel prices for biofuels is way more expensive than making sails and we’ve got money to burn.  I thought Congress had the power of the purse.  Turns out they just like holding a purse because it matches their pumps.

This was not the State of the Union Address.  It was a campaign speech, complete with wincing, Rob Schneider-esque “We Can Do It!” pablum.    Now onto the battleground states for three days where the corpse of Osama Bin Laden will be his running mate and the Do Nothing 1/4th of Congress Republicans starring as his whipping boys as his un-American audiences cheer his aspirations to govern above Congress and the Judiciary in his last year in office.

If you voted for this.  You should be sterilized.  My only comfort now is that your messiah has succeeded in convincing you to “fulfill your dreams” by aborting all of your children.

In fairness, I don’t really know if you would be fulfilling your dreams (like Obama said) by aborting your future Democrat kids.  But you’re certainly fulfilling mine.  So, carry on.

Tea Party Pooper

This one gets filed under “Dancing With The One That Bought You“:

The Darjeeling Darling

  The money being left on the nightstand is still common practice, correct?

How does Nikki Haley square the circle of betrayal she committed against the people who elected her?

Romney’s decisive defeat Saturday immediately got dropped in part at the feet of the South Carolina governor, who provided him a high-profile endorsement — though a controversial one among the local tea party forces who propelled her into office in 2010. But in this first test both of translating her appeal and playing on the national stage, she flopped.

As Open Secrets noted back in 2010, Romneybot version 08.b was slow playing the buy in anticipation of Romneybot v11.c needing her endorsement in South Carolina a short year away.  It’s very clever the way Romneybot applies his business acumen to purchasing the important properties early and cheap.

ROMNEY LOVE: Former Massachusetts GOP Gov. Mitt Romney has contributed $42,000 to Republican Nikki Haley’s campaign for governor in South Carolina, Politico reported. Currently, Romney has one federal political action committee and five statewide PACs, each contributing $3,500 to Haley’s campaign.

The maximum amount that PACs can contribute to campaigns is $3,500. However, the South Carolina Ethics Committee found that Romney’s five statewide PACs and one federal PAC could each max out their donations to Haley, despite sharing the same leadership and office space.

If the GOP retains the governorship of South Carolina, the new governor will be highly influential with the party’s base. This fact is not lost to potential 2012 GOP presidential candidates like Romney who are backing Haley in her governorship bid in hopes of an endorsement if they run in the GOP presidential primary in 2012.

I cannot fault the CGI of candidates exploiting his highly-beta tested programming and almost lifelike facial gestures to short fuse the electoral process.  It works on paper.

She may have even hurt Romney’s case in the state — there’s a sense that a handful of state legislators who would have backed Romney but refused to out of principle, simply because they hate Haley so much, and mock her for moves like requiring state employees to answer their telephones, “It’s a great day in South Carolina!”

Romney’s state campaign chairman, State Treasurer Curtis Loftis — a political rival of Haley, despite both backing the same presidential candidate — couldn’t resist taking shots at Haley. Less than an hour before the state’s polls closed, Loftis couched his criticisms of Newt Gingrich in terms that sound surprisingly like the way other local operatives describe Haley.

Any “Tea Party” candidate should understand that the establishment hates them.  They don’t like you but they still bought you.  Because you’re charming or something?  Riiiiight.

Haley’s and DeMint’s purchase of Romneybot’s operating license for 2011 shows that they clearly did not read the Tea Party EULA.  Any damages to their electoral hard drives as a result of the software conflict between Romneybot v.11c and the Operating System that got them up running in the first place is purely intentional.

WPBA Hall of Famer Karen Corr:  Not SC Gov. Nikkie Haley

EqualityPlus Fails The Crash Test

Like the Costa Concordia, I’ve been struck and sinking under the commentary about the men aboard that certain floating buffet of finger foods and all inclusive liquor who abdicated their time honored duty of protecting Women and Children First.

Was this ship a time machine?  Are we in the 19th century?

It seems like gender war and imagined parity is the order of the day until you’re waist deep in the drink. Then it’s “Save me!  Save me!  Women and children first!”

That’s not just water around your waist.  That’s equality creeping up on you.  Cold isn’t it?

Is it everything you hoped it would be?  Is it worth an extra  23 cents on the dollar to know that the stranger next to you is going to, at peril to themselves, throw you over their shoulder and carry you to safety because you ovulate half of your life?

Call it The Knight Fee.  The Chivalry Tax.  Includes free door openings and roadside assistance.

I’m just saying.  Everyone needs to pay their Fair Share ™.

Disclaimer:  Author fully endorses Women and Children First Policy.  Theses views are the author’s alone and do not represent the official policy of those of, Six Meat Buffet, LLC, Seis Carne, S.A. de C.V. or our parent company DynoGlobal Chemcorp Heavy Industries.

More:  Herr Krumm

When Hope Came To Town

And left about November 4th.

You tell me. Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?

Obama Headquarters on Rosa Parks Boulevard – October 7, 2008


I think about this every day when I drive by this prime piece of real estate a stone’s throw from the state capitol and across the street from the Farmer’s Market.  Three and a half years later.

Elections have consequences

Lots of consequences


He’s like King Midas.  Except that everything he touches turns to shit.

Who does this strip mall think it is doing impersonations of a White House event for CEOs?