The Helpless Dictator

Is there something magic about going from $3.50 a gallon to $4.00?  I always thought that would have happened at $2.00 a gallon but I evidently underestimated the magnitude of revolving credit Americans were willing to taken on for their cars without stopping off at Home Depot to buy pitchforks and propane torches.

Enter stage Far Left.  The “I Can Invent A Reason To Force You To Buy Everyone Else’s Medical Insurance” President suddenly is helpless in the face of the gas prices that he encouraged.  Get out your bicycle pumps, everybody.  This whole thing can be solved by properly inflating your tires and getting a tune-up:

During an event at the University of Miami, Mr. Obama will discuss the steps the country can take to tackle what the White House sees as an annual cycle of spikes in gas prices, the officials said. At the same time, these officials, who briefed reporters Tuesday on the president’s plans, acknowledged that there is almost nothing the president can do in the near term to lower gas prices.

I’ve lived a couple of years now and “the annual cycle of spikes in gas prices” has never been this bad.

Cut off the gas card to Air Force One and the 22 limousine caravan and see how quick that changes.

The administration officials brushed off the brewing political storm over rising gas prices as an annual affair bolstered by media hysteria. They said the White House anticipated the current spike in gas prices, which they attribute to increased demand around the world, particularly from China.

Has the media been “hysterical” about gas prices?  Up until last week they’ve comatose on the subject of gas prices for three years.  If even one of them had showed anything resembling Terry Schiavo-level animation it would have been nothing short of miraculous.   Under Bush they were apoplectic over $1.80 gas.

Funny how China has increased demand and they make moves to buy Canada’s ethical oil that Obama rejected.  He did reject it, right?

February 6, 2012

On Monday, Stephen Harper, the prime minister of Canada, traveled to China for a week of high-level meetings.  He brought with him a handful of his cabinet ministers, including Joe Oliver, his tough-talking minister of natural resources who, until recently, had been withering in his scorn for the opponents of the Keystone XL oil pipeline, which President Obama rejected a few weeks ago.  The pipeline, of course, was intended to transport vast oil reserves in Alberta to the American refineries on the Gulf of Mexico.

Magic Chi-coms!  No comprehensive energy policy there.  You have something I need so I approach you to buy it with money in my hand.

So Canada thinks that Obama rejected the pipeline.  The environmentally-ill whackjobs take credit for Obama rejecting the pipeline.  Republicans brought it up for a vote several times and Obama rejected the pipeline.  And Obama brags about rejecting the pipeline.

Because the sheer volume of his bullshit is shovel-ready enough to bring the unemployment rate to 0%.  Earlier today in the Cuckoobirdland that is the White House Press Corps / Stenography Pool:

TAPPER: How can you say you have an all-of-the-above approach if the president turned down the Keystone pipeline? And you blame the Republicans for making a political –

CARNEY: But the president didn’t turn down the Keystone pipeline.

This is why no lawyers should ever be President.

“There are no magic solutions to rising oil prices and the pain that Americans feel at the pump,” Carney said.

He’s right about that.  Magic solutions are for healing the earth and stopping the tides from rising with rainbow marshmallows shooting out of a unicorn ass.  It’s not fucking magic to be energy independent through oil.  You either drill it yourself or you buy it from somebody who is friendly to your interests.  You’ve shut down the refineries, lived up to your campaign promise of putting the coal companies out of business and then act shocked when poor and middle-class people can’t afford gas to go to work assuming you haven’t killed their job yet.

Duh, you’re getting three years of welfare so you don’t have to go to yucky work. Between childcare and 25-30% of your take home pay going to the gas tank it doesn’t make sense to go to work and thanks to neverending unemployment benefits – you don’t have to!  You’re welcome.

Who’s up for moving to Australia?  By my count, Mad Max should have been born already and it’s only a matter of time before he joins The Bronze with the last of the V-8 Interceptors.