Come on in and take your pants off.Â I’d hate for you not to fit in.
It’s been almost five years since I’ve liveblogged a CNN debate.Â As some may recall, that’s when the once and future formidable Six Meat Buffet started uncovering all of the plants, erm, “undecided voters” that CNN and Anderson Cooper selected to ambush Republicans during their primary in a bid that ultimately helped them to get their preferred candidate McCain the nomination.
Well, I’m scotchguarding the tips of my workboots in anticipation of the asskicking Candy Crowley already deserves for making this debate about her.Â She thinks she’s a woman evidently and this somehow makes her moderating this debate some kind of historic event moreso than Martha Raddatz in the first debate.Â Truly a historic night for overweight, snaggletoothed jackyls everywhere.
I’m sure CNN has learned their lesson since the Republican Party hasn’t.Â Why they are allowing them to host this with a moderator who has openly expressed contempt for their ticket must be because they’re working their usual Three Dimensional Star Trek Chess that has given us Bob Dole, John McCain and their secret desire to bring Dan Quayle back to the national stage.Â Come to think of it…they do have a death wish don’t they?
So, Milquetoast Mitt is going into the Lion’s Den.Â A liberal network and a liberal “journalist” in front of a liberal New York “townhall”.Â Gird your loins for prepared attack lines that will be shoehorned into wildly inappropriate moments within!
Soledad O’Brien is trying to say that CNN has somehow found 82 undecided voters in New York state that are being sequestered from reporters.Â This is from the people who flew in a gay “undecided” ex-military man to ambush Republicans with a gays in the military question when he was a longtime Hillary supporter.Â But they found 82 honest ones this time.Â Uh-huh.
According to the braintrust of David Gergen and Gloria Borger, Hillary Clinton has displayed so much class during this Benghazi mea culpa that Mitt Romney and Obama can’t compare with the high standard of public service she has set by “taking responsibility”.Â Ummm, is she resigning?Â Is someone being fired?Â What is the punishment for this international clusterfark?
She said “I take responsibility” while laughing.Â I guess that settles it!Â Dead ambassador.Â Dead Seals.Â No investigation.Â No autopsy.Â The White House blamed a video in front of the world to distract from their failed foreign policy that allowed us to arm al Qaeda in Libya.Â All is well!
And we’re ready to kick it off.Â Black is usually slimming but Candy Crowley is already proving naysayers wrong.
1st Question:Â How are we going to help this awkward young man get a job after he graduates from college?
Surprise!Â Obama’s going to give everybody a green job!
And the attacks begin.
Candy cuts Mitt off from responding to a bunch of Obama lies right out of the gate.
Question 2:Â How do you get gas prices down contrary to what Steven Chu has stated?
Obama leads off with a bunch of garbage about how we need green jobs and how oil gets it’s blackness from him because he’s so pro-oil.
Romney is starting to hit back but not hard enough.
Obama gets a response and happy days are here again.Â We’re saving more money than ever.Â And just look at all of the fuel efficient cars we’re exporting!?! Apparently, we can’t look at the price of gas.Â If you like $4.00 a gallon gas.Â You’re going to love $9 a gallon gas.
Ahh…the return of Big Bird.Â Battle of Little Big Chickenshit.
Not a confirmation here.Â Katherine Fenton in New York.Â Asking about equal pay for women.Â I have a spelling difference here but there is a Catherine Fenton in New York who is a Hillary donor and writes for the leftwing site Truth-Out /Buzzflash demanding that Democrats tell Republicans to fuck themselves.Â Is her name misspelled on purpose?Â Is Katherine Fenton a common name?Â Crowdsource it.
I can’t caveat and qualify that enough but when CNN sequesters alleged “undecideds” and they ask these cliched, loaded questions it bears taking a look at them.
Finally, a question on Libya.Â A tough one about who is ultimately responsible for the deaths of those ambassadors to Obama directly who immediately changes the subject to how “we’re going after the bad guys”.Â Total liar.
And Romney is on the offensive and closes tough.
Candy jumps in to save Obama with a Hillary saved your ass by taking responsibility excuse.
Then Candy jumps again to claim that Obama said Libya was a terrorist attack on day one.Â An utter fucking lie.Â The transcript from the White House.
No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation, alter that character, or eclipse the light of the values that we stand for.Â Today we mourn four more Americans who represent the very best of the United States of America.Â We will not waver in our commitment to see that justice is done for this terrible act.Â And make no mistake, justice will be done.
The word “terror” appears once in the transcript.Â Is an act of terror the same as a planned attack by a terrorist organization? Â It does not in any way, shape or form imply that the attack on the US embassy was committed by a terrorist organization.Â That it was planned.Â That it was anything other than a spontaneous act as a result of being offended by a Youtube video.Â Â There is a controversy about this because they have lied for two weeks about what they’ve known since the beginning – within 24 hours after the event.
Weasel word lawyering.Â With Candy Crowley playing judge and declaring him honest.Â A Goddamnable Lie. A complete shock.Â I know.
Here’s what he said before then in the prior paragraph:
Since our founding, the United States has been a nation that respects all faiths.Â We reject all efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others.Â But there is absolutely no justification to this type of senseless violence.Â None.Â The world must stand together to unequivocally reject these brutal acts.
“Senseless violence”.Â Is a pre-planned terrorist attack senseless?
Now that is implying that this event happened because Muslim’s delicate sensibilities were harmed by the Youtube video.Â He is saying that the attack was because of the Youtube video.Â Completely clear what he meant.Â Candy Crowley is a lying shitbag who colluded with the Obama campaign on that question.
Was she at the ready with statistics for oil drilling permits?Â Nope.Â She was wrist deep in the cookie jar with a mouthful of chocolate chips at that factcheck time.
It’s not Terrorism.Â It’s a “brutal act” because it’s justified by a denigration of their faith.Â You lie.
I said to scotchguard my foot.Â They needed to scotchguard Chris Mathew’s pants whose boxing analogies about how Obama knocked Romney’s block off and punched him in the face shows that the Pillsbury Blowboy has masculine delusions about a very unpresidential performance.
You are running for President of the United States after all.Â Not President of MSNBC.