Month: March 2013

The Cowardly Ben Carson

A lot of people seem to be putting their already half-cracked and dripping eggs into the Ben Carson Basket.  This fount of inspiration.  A probable religious liberal whose one-time dressing down of Obama over his healthcare law has earned him The Free Pass from the fair denizens of Hannitry.  But the measure of someone is how much they are willing to stand for their convinctions.  And when it comes to Carson telling people what they need to hear when they need to hear it – this isn’t particularly encouraging:

A pediatric neurosurgeon who has become the darling of conservatives since speaking against nationalized healthcare is now under fire for comments he made about same-sex marriage.

Dr. Benjamin Carson told MSNBC’s “Andrea Mitchell Reports” on Friday that he would be willing to step down as commencement speaker at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine after faculty and students signed petitions asking that he not speak.

“I would say this is their day, and the last thing I would want to do is rain on their parade,” Carson told Mitchell.

Carson said in the interview that he has not notified the university he won’t be speaking. “I am waiting for appropriate channels,” he said. “I don’t think television is the appropriate channel.”

I don’t get it.  You just told everybody you’re not doing it but you’re waiting for the right moment to tell them that you don’t want to face a potentially hostile audience for a commencement address?

One of the petitions, quoted by The Hill newspaper, reads: “We retain the highest respect for Dr. Carson’s achievements and value his right to publicly voice political views. Nevertheless, we feel that these expressed values are incongruous with the values of Johns Hopkins and deeply offensive to a large proportion of our student body.”

So a speaker should only reflect the views of the majority?  That’s a good lesson.

How is this any different than any conservative college graduate who has to sit through the insufferable pap of the Oprah Winfreys, Nancy Pelosis or other leftarded savants who litter the April/May blogfeeds when they hijack every college commencement speech and slam it into the twin towers of Respect For The Opinions of Others and Respect For The Work of the Graduates.

Was Carson’s commencement address supposed to be about gay marriage?  I thought it should be something more along the lines of how “despite all your hardwork you have to learn how to deal with disappointment and not getting your way all the time”.  Or maybe, “in the course of the rest of your life you will come into contact with many people who don’t agree with you on every issue”.

Now would be the perfect time for that lesson since it’s painfully obvious they haven’t learned it in 5-10 years of college.

Regardless, Carson’s decision to quit should give anyone pause.  If he’s not willing to fight (if by fight you mean give a speech) for his right to his own beliefs how would he parlay that into steadfastness in fighting for yours.

There are very few neurosurgeons in the world.   He just might know something other than gay marriage to talk to these overextended, undereducated, intolerant future unemployables about.  But we’ll never know because he’s a quitter who is trying to pass off cowardice for respect of the opinions of people who have no respect for his.

Respect is a two-way street and Carson is content to let the thugs hog the road.  Don’t want to interrupt your good time with something you need to hear.  These are critical oppotunities that leaders never let pass.

Would you trust one of these thugs to operate on you if they knew your beliefs differed from there’s?  We only operate on those whose  political views reflect that of the majority of our distinct geographic proximity.

They need to be told the truth to their stupid faces at least once to say they got their money’s worth.  He may be able to heal damaged corpus callosum of a kid but when it comes to winning the minds of of the adult children Carson has conceded that he is not the man for the job.

Who Is Going To Protect Me From All This Cocaine?

It’s the Pester Over The Sequester!  The Tut-tut after the spending cut.  In the eternal search for the lightning in the silver cloud of the so-called Sequester, the Democommie chicken littles mistakenly garner support for ever greater budget cutbacks:

Warnings are also growing that the spending cuts will open the floodgates for more illicit drugs reaching U.S. soil. At a hearing last week before the House Armed Services Committee, Southern Command chief Marine Gen. John Kelly said sequestration means he could end up without critical air and water surveillance to monitor for cocaine trafficking.

“If I lose those assets, if they go to zero — and there are some that are predicting they will go to zero — then all of that cocaine, all of it, will get ashore, and more, I would predict, would get ashore and be on the streets of New York and Boston and Portland, Maine,” Kelly said.

Funny.  I never wanted to move to New York, Boston or Portland, Maine before.

Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe cocaine is what this nation needs to get it off the fucking couch and back to work?  To paraphrase Ned Flanders’ father, I understand that “we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas” to make the turd of this economy swirl backwards up the bowl but I say it’s time to take a more unconventional approach.

Liquidate our nation’s evidence rooms and provide a free eightball once a week for a job well done.  Or at least done enthusiastically half-assed.

Why, some cocaine users even go on to become Presid…..eh.  Scratch that.

CORRECTION:  We’re just going to call it “Undocumented” Cocaine.  Then it’s not illegal anymore when it sneaks across the border and does the job that no American unemployment check will do.

 

Blissfully Unaware

I remember before September 11th.  It wasn’t that long ago.  Airport lines were shorter.  Not necessarily pleasant but they didn’t involve a prostate exam by a person selling nude body scans of you on the Internet.

What I remember most was the feeling the morning before everyone knew.  The not having to care as much.  The enemy is over there.  Sure, we all have to worry about the criminals among us but the truly damaging threats are somewhere on the other side of a sea.

It’s why North Korea bothers me so much now:

The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an “emergency meeting” early on Friday morning. They show Kim signing the order for North Korea’s strategic rocket forces to be on standby to fire at US targets, the paper said, with large-scale maps and diagrams in the background.

Move along.  Nothing to see here, right?  Just more Bellicose Rhetoric ™ from a young dictator wannabe trying to show his military experience is what they keep telling us.   Obama’s in Charge!  What could possibly go wrong with such a experienced statesman like that at the helm?

Let’s just poo-poo these comments and see the continuation of Clintonian State Departmentalizing.  We’ll say his comments are “unhelpful”.  Maybe when the rockets are fueled and you see the blood-raging in his eyes you can upgrade them to “deeply concerning”.

“He finally signed the plan on technical preparations of strategic rockets, ordering them to be on standby to fire so that they may strike any time the US mainland, its military bases in the operational theatres in the Pacific, including Hawaii and Guam, and those in South Korea,” the state-run KCNA news agency reported.

Huh?  Wuh?  I’m sorry.  I wasn’t paying attention.  The family’s coming over Easter and I’ve been busy with trying to do my taxes.  I got this new tablet and you won’t believe all the crazy shit it does.

Kim “convened an urgent operation meeting” of senior generals just after midnight, signed a rocket preparation plan and ordered his forces on standby to strike the U.S. mainland, South Korea, Guam and Hawaii, state media reported.

How long are you suppoesd to thaw a turkey?  I’m probably just going to get a ham from Honeybaked or something.  I’m sure we don’t have enough chairs.  It would be easier if we just went out.  And cheaper too.  Nashville is growing so much.  We’re absolutely certain that we’re the next big thing.  So many new places to choose from in Midtown and The Gulch and all the right people are moving here.

Kim said “the time has come to settle accounts with the U.S. imperialists in view of the prevailing situation,” according to a report by the North’s official Korean Central News Agency.

Later Friday at the main square in Pyongyang, tens of thousands of North Koreans turned out for a 90-minute mass rally in support of Kim’s call to arms. Men and women, many of them in olive drab uniforms, stood in arrow-straight lines, fists raised as they chanted, “Death to the U.S. imperialists.” Placards in the plaza bore harsh words for South Korea as well, including, “Let’s rip the puppet traitors to death!”

Now, to the untrained eye, this type of thing is just what they do over there.  Little children that they are.  Banging their highchairs for attention.  Pat them on the head.  Tell everyone to calm down and quit being so sensitive.  We went from being the World’s Policeman to the World’s Wet Nurse in five short years.  In another three we’re going to be it’s bitch.

Experts believe the country is years away from developing nuclear-tipped missiles that could strike the United States. Many say they’ve also seen no evidence that Pyongyang has long-range missiles that can hit the U.S. mainland.

Lucky for us – experts are never wrong.  It’s not like Little Un has painted himself into a corner here that if he doesn’t do something that he’s going to look incredibly weak.

So where are we? What changes if:

A nuclear missile flies and gets shot down by an iron dome rocket.  Do we call that a mulligan and schedule tea with the Ambassador?

A nuclear missile flies and misses its target.  Another mulligan?

A nuclear missile flies and it hits an ally, a US territory or our mainland.  Then what?

What changes?  The world, chico.  The world.

You can almost see the Army manuals being written now.  When your transgendered platoon leader conducts door-to-door introductions with environmentally and ethnically sensitive gift baskets you should introduce yourself with your head bowed so as not to offend.

As on that same morning before the crisis, we remain unprepared and unwilling to acknowledge the threat in our faces.  It’s over there somewhere.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel *shudder* said on Thursday that North Korea‘s provocative actions and belligerent tone had “ratcheted up the danger” on the Korean peninsula, but he denied that the United States had aggravated the situation by flying stealth bombers to the region.

We have to take seriously every provocative, bellicose word and action that this new young leader has taken so far” since coming to power, Hagel told a Pentagon news conference, referring to Kim Jong-un.

Ah, yes.  The “young” leader.  Good thing he’s not a woman.  She’d probably just be on her period or something.  The U.S. has to take North Korea seriously.  At least we have to say we do.  Else we lose the optics.  Perhaps we can push through some gun control legislation because of this.  Or maybe some gay marriage bills.    Or perhaps some more laserlike focus on Priorty Numero Uno – Yobs!  You know the problem that’s solved already.

I don’t know about ya’ll but I am taking my money out of the bank.  Remember, we financed two wars we didn’t need on a credit card so they say.  How do you think they’re going to pay for the one they are going to let happen to us?  Get Alec Baldwin to transfer our balances to a new, low-interest rate Capital One Card?

Come to think of it – what am I worried about money for?  An arsonist is fleeing the scene of the shithouse moments before it goes up in flames.  Sure he’s in a 600 ton bulletproof limousine that doesn’t run on diesel and if Trayvon had a father it would probably look like him but that is somebody else’s problem.  Hopefully Austin, Texas.

And the money?  I never missed what I never had.  I can leave it in my 401k and the Dow will jump 200 points once the first missile lands.  Now, about that turkey.

From the Wayback Machine:

Slack Ops

On Wii, Ennui: Will Obama be able to finish 18 holes in time to hold the 38th parallel?

Use pitch, draw and don’t forget SPIN to turn what is traditionally a lazy, rich man’s pastime into your foreign policy legacy.

Realistic gameplay lets you be the POTUS. When North Korea launches a sneak attack on an ally’s civilians, you are forced to reckon with 18 Holes to avert Nuclear Holocaust starting off with a brutal par 5 where you must negotiate a harrowing sand trap after the first dog leg.  If we can’t get back to the clubhouse by nightfall, a tersely worded letter to the U.N. won’t get drafted in time!

So Real Even Your Ratings Will Plummet: Use the crowd control feature to whip-up or settle down a fawning press corps.  Camo’d cameo announcers Chris Mathews, Andrea Mitchell, Katie Couric and Brian Williams report from the rough (terrain of their New York /D.C.studios) to give you the play-by-play commentary and your Wii controller’s leg adapter unleashes our patented vibrating Tingle ™ Technology.  Don’t get distracted by how awesome you are. You’ve still got to compose that meeting request with your Cabinet so you can draft that letter!

Unlock hidden missions! It’s a game inside of the game.  After being rebuffed from Chinese diplomats, you are forced to enter into a deadly game of pick-up basketball.  Will Robert Gibbs get picked last?    Use Obama’s natural tendency to bow as you reach in to steal the ball and hog it until the shot clock runs down.  You only have minutes left before you can draft that text message to your assistant so she can schedule that meeting request with your Cabinet and hold a quorum on that letter you were thinking about writing when everybody was still mad about that thing that happened – before The Final Buzzer.

 

 

 

Delenda Est CPAC

There were very few rays of sunshine if I am to believe the coverage of CPAC Republican Party navelgazing this last week.  Mitt Romney’s first choice for President, Ohio Senator Rob Portman, selfishly came out in favor of gay marriage because his son is gay.  If only his son was a cocaine addict like Joe Biden’s daughter perhaps we could get Republicans to end the War on Drugs!

The news that Senator Rob Portman of Ohio has become a supporter of equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians because he himself has a gay son was a surprise. That’s because Portman is not only a staunch conservative but also an important member of the Republican Party establishment; he was a key adviser to Mitt Romney during his Presidential campaign, his debate-prep partner, and he was seriously vetted for Vice-President on the G.O.P. ticket. Many people, including myself, predicted that Portman would be the V.P. pick, and some believe that, had Portman been chosen, Romney could have won.

The New Yorker says this with a straight face.  Romney/Portman could have won what exactly?  Fourth place in Iowa for the Democratic primary?

The more I’ve been thinking about this, the more it is bothering me.  So long as I have this right:  Rob Portman’s son comes out of the closet to his parents.  What right does Rob Portman have to out his son to the world for what he mistakes as an attempt at political gain?  Mental note to Will Portman:  Don’t volunteer any other personal information to your dad you don’t want broadcasted on CNN.  Be really courageous and say you’re bisexual.  Why do I only get to marry one sex?  Enough on that.

What was once a rabblerousing, base motivating exercise in competing ideologies within the Republican Party is now nothing more than the establishment’s half-assed effort to homogenize opinion in advance and somehow get a good review from the Washington Post.  Which ain’t gonna happen:

Maybe it’s a sign of the times, but CPAC wasted little time before tacking the immigration issue.

The first speech kicked off at 9 a.m., and by 10:45, immigration was front-and-center with a panel discussion titled, “Respecting Families and the Rule of Law: A Lasting Immigration Policy.”

Predictably, much of the conversation dealt with how conservatives who support securing the border must also adopt a more compassionate tone when discussing immigration.

Respecting (Illegal) Families and the Rules of Law?  Pick one.  Besides, what is there to discuss?  Obama, ICE and Napolitano have already passed de facto amnesty and several states are giving illegal aliens discounted college aid far below what legal citizens in an adjacent state would have to pay.  We are already in a lawless time.  Worse than lawless actually.  No laws for some and rigidly enforced laws for others.

I live in Nashville, Tennessee and we are a de facto sanctuary city.  Construction is booming and at any time of the day illegals in hard hats are jaywalking from wherever a parking spot is found on the way to the construction site.  Our mayor welcomes them.  Local attorneys provide them pro bono services to keep them in the country illegally.  Local businesses hire them so they can avoid paying taxes.  It is illegality on top of identity theft on top of tax evasion on top of screwing over the poor, benighted souls produced from our public education system who have to compete against them.  And so very compassionate.

The fact that this gRINgO breed of Republicans thinks that they can out pander and out-bribe illegal Latinos is beyond misguided.  A “compassionate tone” does not replace the fact the problem is not the messenger but the message.  You are rewarding theft of services, rewarding lawbreakers versus those who are following the rules and exposing the rest of us to potentially dangerous criminals and re-introduction of once controlled disease that we now have no immunity to or antibiotics to defend against.   Political correctness is going to kill us.

With the exception of Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and very few others, CPAC has staked out an illegitimate claim to the mantel of conservatism with its Stalinist/Boehner-esque purge of dissenting Tea Party voices.  Delenda est C-PAP.

Now go brush off Dan Quayle and his son so you can foist him, Jeb Bush (the omnipresent answer to a question no one asked) and all the other “It’s My Turn” self-entitled RINOs / establishment born scions of privilege to lay claim to their family’s feudal throne of Big Government Republicanism.  Then piss on our legs and tell us you’re severely conservative.

NOTE:  To any future candidates of this dead party, do not ever hire a career Republican consultant.  Pat Caddell said it as caustically as needed and it’s a pattern I’ve noticed for years –

“In my party we play to win. We play for life and death,” Caddell said at a panel in a room that was only one-third full when it started and was standing room only once word spread throughout CPAC that Caddell was blistering the Republican elite. “You people play for a different kind of agenda…Your party has no problem playing the Washington Generals to the Harlem Globetrotters.”

Caddell said this mentality infected Romney, whose campaign consultants thold him to “back off” toward the end of the 2012 election and failed to realize that “you must also get your base” while courting independents.

He then blasted the “CLEC–the consultant, lobbyist, and establishment complex,” which he said was a “self serving interconnected network of individuals and organizations interested in preserving their own power far more than they’re interested in winning elections.”

Your inexperience gets sabotaged within from your consultants who are always working for the other guy.  You’re a flash in the pan.  The Bushes are eternal.

“Just follow the money,” Caddell told a rapt audience. “It’s all there in the newspaper. The way it works is this–ever since we centralized politics in Washington, the House campaign committee and the Senate campaign committee,  they decide who they think should run. You hire these people on the accredited list [they say to candidates] otherwise we won’t give you money. You hire my friend or else.”

Financial corruption is a key component of the current process, according to Caddell. “There’s money passing under the table on both parties. Don’t kid yourself…If you can’t see racketeering in front of you, God save you.”

A must read and watch.

 

Seven Round Clip Canard

The seemingly always in trouble BlazingCatFur reposted a Liveleak video worth a look.  (Pres.  / Cranky, if you want to help post the video link here I’d certainly enjoy it).

In the video, a dozen or so masked and armed assailants attempt to rob a group of people having lunch at an outside cafe. 

Colon Locked And Loaded

Without warning, the group of would-be victims unleashed a devastating counter-offensive by pissing and shitting themselves (language warning, though if you’re already here that shouldn’t be an issue) which sent the thugs running home to their mommies – emotionally damaged forever.

Just kidding.

One man with one gun with more than seven bullets in it successfully fended off the thugs as they scattered like cockroaches exposed to the disinfecting sunlight of muzzle flash.

Liberals watch too many Hollywood movies.  Technically, everyone does.  Every citizen is not a one man Delta Force who can shoot a moving attacker’s eye out from 20 yards while under life-threatening duress.  Some times there is more than one attacker and it might take more than one shot to stop them assuming you hit everything you are aiming for.

Not to talk to anyone like a six year old, since six year olds have a reason to be naive and ignorant due to their lack of experience and perspective, but gun control is never about saving anyone’s life.  It is always about making you utterly defenseless and reliant on the state for their protection racket and from the crime which their policies are almost always responsible for to begin.

My Dinner With Zero

How you been? Good.

Last night we got to witness THE perfect contrast between the (admittedly tiny) freedom-loving wing of the GOP and the old guard of gutless country-club grifters.

On one hand, you had Paul, Lee and Cruz questioning whether or not it was wise to give the executive branch the freedom to assassinate its own citizens with drones. A simple question really. When your leaders are soulless idealogues, perhaps this type of power should be carefully considered before being handed out like popsicles at a 6-year-old’s pool party.

On the other, you had McShame, Lispy and our own beloved Corker breaking bread with the very same commie who has repeatedly pretended to play nice while turning around and stabbing them all in the back as soon as the cameras show up. If I were dumber, I would say that these Senators are simply naiive, but these jackals are in it for themselves as they’ve always been. I hope they kissed his ring as they entered.

Lawmakers emerged from the powwow describing it as a positive meeting and a friendly gathering that focused on the possibility of eventually reaching a deal on the budget and deficit reduction. But the meeting does not appear to have been any kind of a negotiating session – rather more of a way to build trust and relationships that have been absent for much of Obama’s term.

The meeting is part of Obama’s sudden new outreach to Republicans. He invited the senators to the dinner, and he has also asked House Budget Committee Chairman Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) to have lunch with him at the White House today. The committee’s ranking member, Democratic Rep. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, will also join them.

Emerging from the gathering, Sen. John McCain of Arizona gave reporters the thumbs up, as did Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, who was close to Obama when the two served together in the Senate. No word on whether they were referencing the food or the meeting.

Our one-party political crime syndicate continues apace. Thank God for the few who are still willing to buck the system in the midst of a massive lost cause.

MOAR:

Just in case you’re not clear on the situation or have been living under a rock for 8 years, McShame and Lispy (as well as Lamar! and the rest of the crew) need to go. Yesterday. They are the cancer. Paul/Cruz/Lee are the chemo.