Any time and place is the right time to be lectured by Barack Obama about whatever pet issue that he’s pushing that day.
Oh.Â Did you think your graduation was about you and your hard work over the last several years?Â No, no, and one more enthusiastic no young man, lady or as yet undetermined he/she/it.
Graduation ceremonies are about the invited speaker opining to you about what really grinds their gears.Â The fact that your existence is one of them is just more guilt-laden icing on their gluten free cake:
President Obama on Friday used the issue of sexual assault in the military to illustrate to Naval Academy graduates the importance of trust and honor at a time when the public has grown weary of missteps by public servants.
â€œIt only takes the misconduct of a few to further erode peopleâ€™s trust in their government,â€ Obama told the graduates at Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium.
Everybody has a big screen tv in their home these days but when I was growing up you had to go sit in a movie theater to see projection that large.
Ensign No Class Barry “Choom Choom” Soetero reporting for duty 30 years too late, sir!
Now I get it!Â The public has grown weary and mistrustful of public servants because of rampant sex abuse in the Navy.Â Not unconstitutionally wiretapping the AP, James Rosen and his parents, drone strikes on US civilians, leaving Navy SEALs and ambassadors to die when you could have helped, voter suppression of Tea Party activists by the IRS or that same IRS being in charge of grabbing every citizen by the back of the head and forcing their mouths down on Obamacare’s thorny cock.
No…it was sex abuse in the military.Â Ok.Â I’ll play along.
Continuing with Obama’s theme of military personnel as unrepentant rapists, his handpicked and defense-hating Secretary of Defense blew his own rape whistle at West Point graduates this morning:
Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel told graduates of the United States Military Academy at West Point on Saturday that sexual assaults would be a â€œa profound betrayalâ€ of their oaths to the Army.
Hagel challenged the 2013 West Point graduates to â€œbe the generation of leaders who stopâ€ internal issues like sexual assaults, alcoholism and suicide, which he said were â€œdebilitating, incendiary and destructiveâ€ to the Armyâ€™s strength.
â€œSexual harassment and assault are a profound betrayal of sacred oaths and sacred trust,â€ Hagel said during his speech. â€œThis scourge must be stamped out. Weâ€™re all accountable for ensuring that this happens. We can’t fail the Army or America. We can’t fail each other.â€
*clap, clap, cla……….*Â Â Â Â Â Â *clap*
Shorter Hagel:Â You’ve completed your training.Â I’m sure it was a picnic. He’s your gun.Â Now don’t get drunk and start raping people.
I’m trying to envision this line of Graduation speeches if it was similarly applied at Morehouse.
It’s been a long six years full of countless malt liquors to achieve that Bachelors in Sociology that you’ve accumulated $40k in debt towards.Â Please do not use your educations for manufacturing crack cocaine on your way to impregnating some dumb slut who will be pushing the baby that you’re not around to raise across seven lanes of traffic from her one bedroom apartment in a dangerous neighborhood to the bus stop for her daily commute to the welfare office.
Oh, and congratulations on your hard work!Â The lifelong dream of both you and your ancestors to give me a fistbump will be administered shortly.
The difference is Obama admonishes Morehouse grads to be giving back to the community while he’s imploring military personnel to not become felonious sex offenders.
For someone whose primary work experience consisted of a Baskin-Robbins, light general office work and an occasional adjunct lecturer on his way to becoming the world’s leading amateur golfer / street ball power forward, he certainly knows how to recognize the laziness in others.
For someone who is the epitome of an affirmative action charity case, who to this day refuses to unseal his own college transcripts, he is adept at hijacking a day that so many struggled and sacrified to achieve in order to coopt it and rob it of any joy in the service of his instinctive need to hector you with his prejudices of you.
Don’t ever invite this guy to speak at your wedding.Â He’ll let you know he’s the best man and that despite all of your numerous flaws that it’s important that you not abandon each other when times get rough in the economy he created.
Again, thank you America for the gift of this self-righteous fuckwad.