Month: January 2015

2016 GOP Follies

The GOP clown show is fully on display.

First, we have that bloated tub-of-guts Chris Christie rolling around on the floor at a radio station in Philly. Governor, you were willing to take on the unions, but ever since you became COOTUS’ bottom boy, it’s clear that you need to move on and find another line of work.

Next, Lispy Graham is getting all hot-and-bothered and delusional, thinking that anybody gives two craps about him running for the nomination. Lispy, we don’t want you in the Senate, or anywhere else in public life. Just go home, put on a big sun hat, pour yourself a nice big glass of Country Time™ and drift away.

Our buddy Mitt decided to pull his hat back out of the race, thank goodness. You were too limp-wristed to knock off the worst president in the nation’s history in 2012, why does anyone on God’s precious green earth think you deserve to be brought out of mothballs? The fact that the establishment power players in the GOP find Jeb “more exciting” than you is an indictment of both them and you.

Speaking of Jeb, if he’s the best we’ve got, I’m going to bite down on a shotgun sandwich.

There is but one answer.


thanks to rdbrewer over at Ace’s place

Meaty Bites

Mmmmm meat

Hmmm, it’s been a while. I dunno. A couple of years maybe. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been paying attention. Kind of like Santa Claus in June. Sure, he may be hanging out on a beach in Fiji with some of his special lady “friends” but he’s still watching everything you do.

So COOTUS’ friends over in Iraq and Syria are beheading and torturing Christians at will. Mass executions, blowing up hotels, female genital mutilation, anti-freedom rallies, forced child homicide bombers, executing teenagers for watching soccer, throwing gays off roofs, and too many other beheadings, crucifixions and executions to count. All in a day’s work for the religion of peace.

Luckily, none of this has to do with islamofascism.

Meanwhile, back here at home, the left is still desperate to kill the unborn. So much so that they’ve invoked their two favorite things – accusing people of rape and pushing the sacrament of abortion – in one fantastic vomitous bleat:

“We require in various states to do trans-vaginal ultrasounds before abortion, which by every state law, the involuntary introduction of an object into a woman’s vagina is rape, so in certain states we are requiring physicians to rape their patients,” Herndl said to a group of around 50 people, including some of her students who were in attendance.

Yes, yes, we get it. Everything is rape. Fortunately hundreds of thousands showed up at the March for Life this past weekend and younger people are trending more pro-life, which has got to be grinding the gears of the infanticidal left. There is reason for hope. But don’t look to the cowards in the GOP to help out.

With the Super Bowl just a few days away, it’s fitting that someone would be butthurt about something. This time it’s a GoDaddy commercial.

Godaddy has already wimped out and pulled the ad, which I found pretty damn funny. People who think that this is tantamount to animal cruelty really need to get a grip. The ads that need to be pulled are the moronic domestic violence ads that the NFL has shoved down our throats all season long. Note to Fidel Goodell, most of us don’t beat our wives. Why don’t you cram your illiterate PSAs down your players’ throats and let the rest of us enjoy the violence on the field, as we have for so many decades.

Ok, back to my job as a typical heteronormative white male. There are people to oppress!

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Silence…

… for a resurrection of sorts. Happy new year all you fine people.

I’ve been meaning to get the Buffet moved to a new webhost for about a year now and since the bill was coming due on the old one, money talks.

Anyhoo, this site will be changing as I tweak the design, and I’ll be doing it right in front of your face because I’m reckless like that. I’m sure you’re distracted anyway, what with the new season of American Idol and everything else you’ve got going on. Brian and Cranky are still around and you’ll see a lot of Cranky in the Twitter sidebar to the right so you should be following him if you’re not already.

Stand by for more maddening madcap madness.