Dispatches From Early Adulthood

Today in history, Mike Pence set about the business of mending fences with the candidate who won over 550 delegates during the primary process about 4 months too late:

Mr. Pence sat down with Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, who lost the Republican presidential nomination to Mr. Trump but whose endorsement could help boost the Republican nominee’s standing with conservatives. Mr. Cruz was famously booed at the party’s convention in July after he declined to endorse Mr. Trump.

As I said repeatedly, this should have been resolved long before the convention. Trump didn’t give a shit because he’s not a conservative and didn’t care what Cruz had done since he’d been in office. Trump and Stone were eyeball deep in the wrong and didn’t GAF that there would be blowback.

Stone probably heard “blowbang” and made way for the nearest gloryhole.

Now that it’s a close race, it comes into focus that you need every vote you can get and constantly sticking a middle finger in the eye of a core constituency might not have been such a bright idea. Rocket surgery, ya’ll.

The only question now is – is it too little, too late?

Mr. Cruz didn’t respond to questions about whether he was any closer to endorsing his former rival. But he did lend a hand to the Republican nominee by echoing his attacks of Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s recent description of some Trump supporters as a “basket of deplorables.” Mr. Cruz said: “That level of contempt from a candidate for the people is really disappointing. It’s a level of condescension.”

Or as a Trumptard would say, “A full-throated endorsement of Hillary Clinton, Mr. Irrelevant!!111!@2!”

Of the meeting with Mr. Pence, Mr. Cruz said: ”It was a very very good meeting. Mike Pence is a good man. He’s a friend. He’s a strong conservative. I was grateful for his strong leadership and his strong support. We had a good and productive conversation.”

This would have been a great story a week or two after Cruz dropped out of the race in May. Instead, it’s been allowed to sit around a fester. People hardening positions on both sides. Trump bandwagoneers in a constant contest to see who can outdo each other with their TrusTED, BusTED, DisgusTED, Cubanadian-otherizing insults and me for seeing some duplicitous fuckfaces for what they really were.

We’ll see if Trump can keep his fat mouth shut long enough for his VP to do what VP’s do and broker a peace deal without blowing it up.

In related news, Rick Perry appeared on “Dancing With The Stars” and the NeverCruz pipedreams of him taking his Senate seat will disappear like Perry behind a sequined curtain masked by armpits drenched in flopsweat.

He’s an Executive ™ not a lowly legislator, dontchaknow?

Maybe a staunch conservative like Cornyn not endorsing him will still work. Fuckfaces.