Month: January 2017

There Are 195 Other Countries In The World

Fun(damentalist) Fact: About 50 of those countries have a Muzzloid majority.

Pick one.

Oh, they won’t take you? They’re all shitholes? They’re all as bad as your homeland?

Well, come to America the liberals scream. The land of racism, xenophobia, sexism, and myriad other bigotries. Come one, come all to enjoy our passive intolerance and so we can celebrate the diversity of your violent intolerance.

The End of Netflix

After Reed Hastings’s comments yesterday, I went ahead and cancelled my Netflix account of nine years and would naturally encourage anyone else reading to do the same:

“Trump’s actions are hurting Netflix employees around the world, and are so un-American it pains us all.”

Of course, Hastings was a huge Clinton backer since the beginning and recites the party line about how “we’re safer taking in terrorists” and don’t forget the poor, poor Dreamers.

But back to un-American are we? If the last eight years of creeping Sharia, billion dollar bribes to Ayatollahs, lawless migration and encouraging Mexican mothers to put their five year olds on top of a moving fucking train so that they can become child sex slaves to Washington, DC liberals and Hollyweird pedos then let’s be un-American.

Starting with shitcanning Netflix. I barely watched it anyway. They load it on every device. Their stock mainly went up because people were cutting the cord and fed up with cable.

Well, we can get fed up with you too, asshole.

Starting today. Let’s see if you can go the way of Angie’s List, JC Penney, and Target.

Corporate America doesn’t run this country anymore. Power to the People.

The South Finally Rose Again

In the North. And in the Midwest and the West.

The defiant officials — from New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and smaller cities, including New Haven; Syracuse; and Austin, Tex., said they were prepared for a protracted fight.

“We’re going to defend all of our people regardless of where they come from, regardless of their immigration status,” Mayor Bill de Blasio of New York said at a news conference with other city officials.

Well, well, well. Quite a statement President Jefferson Davis De Blasio von Wilhelm II. And what of General Rahm Emanuel Bedford Forrest? Is he preparing his bedsheets for the ceremonial burning of the cross?

For 8 years, they cheerfully applauded when Obama sued states like Arizona under the idea that only the federal government, and The President alone, dictates immigration policy. Now a sudden change of heart.

Meet the new Neo-Confederates waving the Stars and Bars to protect the slave labor that fuels their economies. Not to mention the underaged, untraceable “Dreamers” who keep the truly elites’ beds warm.

Yea, I’m saying it. Democrats have a national child sex trafficking ring going on with the DACA program. Let’s find you a nice home with Uncle Pedosta. Wanna slice of pizza? We can share.

Cut off their supply lines. Burn their homes and businesses to the ground. Hang or shoot the rest.

I would say to rape their women but, if last weekend’s protest was correct, their funky asses are walking around in bloody panties and pantsuits. So bring a drop cloth.

The Union Forever.

Two Girls And A Couplet

Does Spanx make straitjackets?

If not, I have an investment opportunity I’d like to discuss offline with interested entrepreneurs.

I know this is late in coming given the ongoing efforts to clean up the snail trail that Hillary holdouts slimed all over the country last weekend.

But can we say it? These were bitches that bought plane and bus tickets in advance of Hillary’s coronation and couldn’t get their deposits back.

One in particular stood tall above all the others. First among equals. A brave face that should be carved into the stony stretchmarks of Mount Thrushmore.

In honor of Ashley Judd’s meritorious service in illustrating what a complete bunch of whacked-out-of-their-gourds, loopy cunts her and her supporters were/are/forever will be…I present her with the coveted Red Vag of Courage. May it itch eternally in that big Back Alley Abortion Clinic in the sky:

“My name is Ashley Judd and I am a feminist. And I want to say hello to Independence Avenue in the back, all the way down to 17th Street, and I bring you words from Nina Donovan, a 19-year-old in Middle, Tennessee. She has given me the privilege of telling you what she has to say:

“I am a nasty woman. I’m as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in Cheetos dust. A man whose words are a distract to America. Electoral college-sanctioned, hate-speech contaminating this national anthem. I’m not as nasty as Confederate flags being tattooed across my city. Maybe the South actually is going to rise again. Maybe for some it never really fell. Blacks are still in shackles and graves, just for being black. Slavery has been reinterpreted as the prison system in front of people who see melanin as animal skin. I am not as nasty as a swastika painted on a pride flag, and I didn’t know devils could be resurrected but I feel Hitler in these streets. A mustache traded for a toupee. Nazis renamed the Cabinet Electoral Conversion Therapy, the new gas chambers shaming the gay out of America, turning rainbows into suicide. I am not as nasty as racism, fraud, conflict of interest, homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, white supremacy, misogyny, ignorance, white privilege … your daughter being your favorite sex symbol, like your wet dreams infused with your own genes. Yeah, I’m a nasty woman — a loud, vulgar, proud woman.

This is kind of funny because it sounds like the speech Anna Farris gave in The House Bunny when she was trying to sound smart on a date. Plus, Rainbow Suicide sounds like a cool band name.

I’ve never heard the phrase “animal skin” before to refer to those of an African-American tint but life may have been different down on the $6mm, 485 acre Franklin plantation she used to share with her ex-husband before he got sick of her walking around in period pants and raising hell about sales tax on Tampax.

“I am not nasty like the combo of Trump and Pence being served up to me in my voting booths. I’m nasty like the battles my grandmothers fought to get me into that voting booth. I’m nasty like the fight for wage equality. Scarlett Johansson, why were the female actors paid less than half of what the male actors earned last year. See, even when we do go into higher paying jobs our wages are still cut with blades sharpened by testosterone. Why is the work of a black woman and a hispanic woman worth only 63 and 54 cents of a white man’s privileged daughter? This is not a feminist myth. This is inequality. So we are not here to be debunked. We are here to be respected. We are here to be nasty.

Well, that wasn’t so nasty…

“I am nasty like my bloodstains on my bed sheets. We don’t actually choose if and when to have our periods. Believe me if we could some of us would. We do not like throwing away our favorite pairs of underpants.

Oh, now you getting nasty.

Tell me, why are pads and tampons still taxed when Viagra and Rogaine are not? Is your erection really more than protecting the sacred messy part of my womanhood? Is the bloodstain on my jeans more embarrassing than the thinning of your hair?

Umm, no but you can’t generally can’t contract a communicable disease through thinning hair unless Loneliness is a disease.

“I know it is hard to look at your own entitlement and privilege. You may be afraid of the truth. I am unafraid to be honest. It may sound petty bringing up a few extra cents. It adds up to the pile of change I have yet to see in my country. I can’t see. My eyes are too busy praying to my feet hoping you don’t mistake eye contact for wanting physical contact. Half my life I have been zipping up my smile hoping you don’t think I want to unzip your jeans. I am unafraid to be nasty because I am nasty like Susan, Elizabeth, Eleanor, Amelia, Rosa, Gloria, Condoleezza, Sonia, Malala, Michelle, Hillary!

“And our pussies ain’t for grabbing. They’re for reminding you that our walls are stronger than America’s ever will be.

Thank you for that visual and I’ll alert the Grand Canyon of a situation. But who is going to paint those pussy walls if not some outside contractor of the dick swinging persuasion?

My seed can’t be contained in a vial. It’s stronger than Fort Knox. Unzip your smile and receive a Nasty Man’s wall plaster.

Our pussies are for our pleasure. They are for birthing new generations of filthy, vulgar, nasty, proud, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh, you name it, for new generations of nasty women. So if you a nasty woman, or you love one who is, let me hear you say, hell yeah.

Oh, baby. You is linguaing my franca. And if there’s one thing a nasty woman needs, it be a nasty man.

This is what a schizophrenic talks like. She was about two girls and a couplet away from taking a dump in her hand and rubbing it all over her face.

In smother words, thoroughly entertaining to me watching this Poon Parade stomping their boots in this randy gutter. And me a safe remove, without my biohazard tuxedo for all the tampon flinging, pussy hat wearing, and menstrual oversharing.

It’s like svelte, tobacco baroness Vagina Slimes once spat, “You come a long way, bitch.”

Trump should have tweeted to Naomi Judd, “Mama, she’s crazy. Crazy over me.”

And dropped the mic. Which is also phallic in nature.

Less Than An Hour

It’s always darkest before The Donald.

I never listened to Rush Limbaugh until November 9th, 2008.

I remember him saying Obama’s name and thinking to myself “how many times is he going to have to say it until he’s out of office”.

Once was too many in my book. The deceptive, lying shitbag got affirmative actioned into the most powerful position in the world and made us all suffer through a lost decade of stagnant wages, millions of jobs lost, and sticking his middle finger in your face while funding our nation’s enemies and using the DoJ to normalize perversion and foment insurrection.

I lost my faith in this country on that day and never regained it. In less than an hour, everyone can temporarily rejoice – if not for Trump – but for the Clinton bullet we dodged.

I can’t have my cigar and champagne until quitting time so I’m going to have to settle for a heavy sigh and an exhausted sense of relief in the interim that we at least have someone who believes this the greatest country in the history of the world in the White House and who wants us to be back where we belong.

America First, Last, and Always. Without apology.

P.S. And a sincere congratulations to Jimmy Carter. You’re now the 2nd worst Democrat president in history.

Two State Assisted Suicide

Well, that didn’t take long did it?

Four Israelis soldiers were killed and 15 wounded after a Palestinian drove his truck over them before reversing, trapping ten people under his wheels on Sunday.

Two weeks after John Kerry suggested again that more terrorism or an Intifada will bring Israelis to their senses about a Two-State Assisted Suicide solution, it appears that Palestinian terrorism is the new Fast and Furious. And let’s not be naive, this renewed call to violence is solely about addressing the pressing matter of Obama’s foreign policy legacy and getting back at Netanyahu. That is it.

That’s a little to unpack, I know. Like Fast and Furious, Obama intentionally helped kill hundreds of people and launch an even more violent drug war in Mexico by siding with the Sinaloa cartel, who is Chicago’s main cocaine supplier, to bolster his case for gun control.

I am saying that John Kerry is colluding with Hamas to kill Israelis because we’re on a deadline here. We’ve got about a week for another UN resolution.

The Palestinian Hamas movement praised the attack, but did not take responsibility.

Hamas spokesman Abdul-Latif Qanou called it a ‘heroic’ act and encouraged other Palestinians to do the same and ‘escalate the resistance.’ 

Taking a lorry and running over a dozen or more soldiers and then backing the truck up to spin over their bodies is official Palestinian government policy.

That is John Kerry’s peace partner who he drafted his abstention resolution without Israeli input.

Likewise, murdering Israeli soldiers is the tactic the outgoing Obama administration supports because it provides the solution the Obama and Kerry wanted all along.

Somewhat surprisingly, I have not seen a US statement condemning the attack. Not that I need it. I know what they’ll say already:

Both sides are guilty. Putting Israel back to its 1948 borders will make it easier to kill them all, er, I mean promote peace.

Happy New Years (This Is CNN Edition)

Happy New Years to everyone.

For anyone not nauseous from too many tequila shots already, CNN decided to push any other queasy stomachs over the edge with an elderly Sharon Stone drunk in a bubble bath. At her age, it may have been a sitz bath.

Twenty years ago, this might be hot. But tonight? Eh.

Having the 58 year old Stone calling out for Anderson Cooper only to spread her legs in said bubble bath to pretend that Kathy Griffin was going down on her underwater seems…oh, I dunno…forced.

Desperate? Borderline violating affirmative consent / elder abuse if under the influence of a controlled substance?

Regardless of how low the tide may be at the pier, it’s still apparently higher than the standards at CNN these days.

Some things you can’t unsee. This was one of those. Larry King must be rolling over in his grave.