The Obamessiah

All things Obamessiah

The Time To File Articles of Impeachment Is At Hand

Look, guys. I understand that no Democrats in the Senate are going to vote to impeach this traitor in the White House. But he’s daring the Republicans to. He is threatening federal workers to violate federal law or else they are going to be fired from their jobs or worse:

“Until we pass a law through Congress, the executive actions we’ve taken are not going to be permanent; they are temporary. There are going to be some jurisdictions and there may be individual ICE official or Border Control agent not paying attention to our new directives. But they’re going to be answerable to the head of Homeland Security because he’s been very clear about what our priorities will be,” Obama said, according to a partial transcript provided by the pool reporter.

“Not only are we going to have to win this legal fight.. but ultimately we’re still going to pass a law through Congress. The bottom line is I’m using all the legal power invested in me in order to solve this problem.”

“If somebody’s working for ICE … and they don’t follow the policy, there’s going to be consequences to it.”

He joked about using the IRS to audit his enemies too and we saw that he followed through on that threat. We are already so far beyond High Crimes and Misdemeanors at this point. Republicans laid their cards down before the flop and said they would never lift a finger against Obama.

Well, assholes – he heard you loud and clear and ran with it.

This would be a question to any hardened Leftist:

Imagine the CEO of a big corporation, in some big, gray corporation building, sitting behind his burlap sacks with dollar bill signs on them and chomping on his cigar sends out an e-mail ordering his Accounting, Tax, and Legal Departments to do whatever they can to evade paying their taxes or they are going to be fired.

He tells them, “Don’t worry. We’re lobbying to have the law changed. It’s not changed yet but our legislators have heard us and we’re not going to suffer because they haven’t done their job yet!”

You’d want him to be frogmarched out of that building wouldn’t you? Arrested. Prosecuted. And any underlings who were complicit more than likely.

Well, this is no different at all. He is violating his oath of office to faithfully execute the laws.

Implicit in his statement is that there is no law in place to justify what he is doing. He is making verbal commands. He is abolishing two co-equal branches of government by bypassing Congress to write a law, as if he would sign one a Republican Congress sent him anyway, and ignoring the Judiciary out of hand. A more strident judge and a different situation would be arresting him for contempt of court.

His minion at DHS is complicit in this criminal conspiracy. As is his minion at the inappropriately named Justice Department. Same thing with the FCC and so-called Net Neutrality.

This is the definition of a tyranny. It is unconstitutional. It is an impeachable offense. We are no longer a republic but a monarchy who has laws abolished with the wave of a hand.

I’d ask the Leftists what they think of this but this is what they have always wanted. A “benevolent” dictatorship as long as they get to be the dictator. And that’s why you all are fucking totalitarians and I am glad that I’ve treated every single one of you accordingly over the years. I never had any illusions about what deceitful pieces of shit you were and are.

For ICE, I know this economy sucks because the guy who is ordering you to violate the laws you swore to uphold is also the one responsible for that too. But a message has to be sent and there should be resignations in protest from the top on down and the governors of the border states should call out the National Guard. It should not be ICE’s position to be forced between violating a federal court’s ruling or fear of retribution from an out of control dictator making up rules as he goes along. You are not obliged to follow an order asking you to break the law. This is the same law you’d enforce to the letter for a German, French, Swedish, or Chinese immigrant. This is a request from a President to violate equal protection laws in favor of one race of people.

How about No Speeding Tickets for Whites Day? Extra Ice Cream Toppings for Gays Day. No Immigration Laws for Hispanics Day…wait, we’ve already got that one.

This is more than just Obama pandering to what he hopes will be an illegal immigrant voting base that will turn this country into a third world shithole with a new permanent underclass he can buy off with food stamps. He has officially sparked a constitutional crisis on purpose and dared Republicans do anything about it.

When the history books write about the sparks that led to the Second Civil War, this is one of those moments. And history will be especially unkind to the Mitch McConnells and John Boehner who sat on their hands as these tyrannies went unanswered. The Courts cannot save you when their rulings will not be followed.

I Hope Glenn Kessler Gets Splinters

…Shoving all those Pinocchios where the sun doesn’t shine.

That’s two in your stink and two in your pink:

Does former Mayor Giuliani not listen to Obama’s speeches? The president has consistently expressed love of country and extolled the virtues of the United States in many speeches, while also at times acknowledging what he considered flaws and mistakes made in the past (what critics have labeled “an apology tour”).

Here are a few examples from Obama:

This is the WaPo’s “fact checker” getting all animated at Rudy Giuliani’s observation that Obama is just not that into the whole American Experience thing.

I’ll save the perfunctory recitations of “love of country” Kessler maintains as evidence that Obama is, in fact, so in love with America that we need to take out a restraining order against him. Usually in the context of “only in a country like this could a great guy like me become President” or the usual county fair, we can do anything if we work as A Collective.

Giuliani must have muted the sound whenever Obama spoke. He certainly has every right to his opinion about the tenor of the president’s remarks. But he has no business claiming something that is so factually incorrect – or easily disproved. He earns four Pinocchios.

Giuliani’s catching hell because he is directly over the target.

The issue isn’t whether Obama has ever said he loves this country. He clearly has. He never would get elected saying that he despises his country. The issue is that he’s bald-faced liar because every action he takes is through the prism of American being the force for ill in the world, conceived in slavery, that everything we have achieved was stolen from someone else, and that we need to be taken down a notch or ten. We need to get off our high horse. A horse that we probably stole from an Indian after we gave him blankets filled with smallpox.

When your impassioned defense of your, not mine, your President’s patriotism comes two or three days after he names a fucking Japanese Internment Camp as a national monument, there is a tremendous disconnect in attacking the guy whose eyes are working and being obtuse and pretending to not see his point.

Why Is Anyone A Christian?

And why do I spend my Sunday thinking about this stuff when I should be nursing a bourbon and two sore shoulders from picking away at all this ice that Man Made Global Warming caked 3″ deep in my driveway.

For some, it’s a default thing to do. Your parents were this religion and you never questioned it. Christianity was the default by geography and there was nothing else around. You picked it by going along with whatever your spouse was.

Words I never thought I’d utter: Darrel Waltrip’s speech really got me thinking.

That link is to Waltrip’s speech at the same National Prayer Breakfast where Obama attacked Christians, his own alleged religious affiliation, for The Crusades. In it, Waltrip gives his sincere and moving testimony. If you haven’t seen it in full, it’s a great speech. He talks about “getting off his high horse and getting on his knees”. Later on, Obama talks about how Americans and Christians in particular need to get off their high horse about Islamic Terrorism because of the Crusades or something. And because he just can’t let any perceived slight against Islam go.

Ayatollah Obama’s non-sequitur notwithstanding, I have never heard him give an explanation as to why he converted from Islam to Christianity. He has spoken about his Muslim faith on many occasions. Hearing the calls from the minarets being the most beautiful sound in the world, etc. It’s a big decision that people of faith would not take lightly.

If a Democrat Party operative, pretending to be a reporter, is that interested in plumbing the depths of Obama’s plainly obvious faith – then why not go straight to the source? Personally, I would be intrigued to hear about Obama’s conversion from the Islamo-death cult, getting the knees of his freshly pressed slacks dirty to ask for forgiveness and humbling himself before a Jew even though he was already perfect.

What event could have triggered such a conversion? There have been several, wildly different versions that Obama has offered himself of how he became some type of Christian. But, and it may just be the cynic in me, it appears that he “converted” to Christianity when he moved to Chicago, lost an election to Bobby Rush for not being black enough, ran up a crap ton of campaign debt, and enrolled in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s hugely influential church solely to get his endorsement and help to get elected.

Wright himself has previously said that he made it easy for Buh-rock to not have to renounce his Islamic faith.

Klein says Obama originally sought out Wright to discuss community activism.

“Quickly the conversations turned from picking up garbage on the street and getting streetlights put up on street corners to political matters and religious matters,” Klein says. “And the Rev. Wright turned into really a substitute father figure, who guided Obama in the two major areas of his life.”

The first area was Obama’s identity — just who was he?

“Obama was steeped in Islam but knew nothing about Christianity,” Klein says.

Klein asked Wright if he converted Obama from being a Muslim into a Christian.

“He said, I don’t know about that. but I can tell you that I made it easy for him to come to an understanding of who Jesus Christ is and not feel that he was turning his back on his Islamic friends and his Islamic traditions and his understanding of Islam,” Klein says.

That is coming from the Reverend who allegedly converted him. Understanding who Christ is or was is not an acceptance of him as your God. Perhaps all of these inquisitive reporters might consult Reverend Wright as to his opinion? They’ve already gone back to Scott Walker’s college teacher from 25 years ago to tell him to “man up” about answering questions on evolution. Obama only left Wright’s church in 2008. If my Common Core calculations are correct, that was only a potato ago.

As a lifelong atheist, it would be tremendously beneficial for my soul and to save me from eternal damnation to hear how Obama was reborn in the blood of Jesus Christ and saw that he was the light and the only true path to Heaven. What Christian leader would disagree with getting that kind of message out there?

For crying out loud Barack, Reverend Wright saved your goddamned soul from worshiping the false god Allah and his child molesting prophet Muhammad. Why won’t you try to save mine? It’s your obligation as a Christian!

Thank God Almighty We Have A Patriotic Christian Running This Country

Did you ever think you’d see the day that the atheistic Communists who constitute the majority of the Democrat Party would demand that you recognize the inherent decency of having a patriotic Christian President?

It’s only because he’s not one but still – telling.

Perhaps a meeting on “violent extremists” where only Moslems are invited to be stroked and fed dates by the Mooch in her finest shower curtains will rebut the dog whistles you hear when Christians are beheaded en masse and/or insufficiently Islamic Muslims are burnt alive for daring to defend themselves against Those That Shall Not Be Named.

Political correctness demands that we not just tolerate but embrace every cross-dressing, grievance mongering, nutbar idea that comes down the pike. Except for the truth. If that ever got it then it might derail the whole thing. And that’s what has made this weekend so peculiar. This new Evangelical McCarthyism of the Left. Have you now, or have you ever questioned that Barack Hussein Obama might not be more Christian than Christ crucified?

Sure he was raised as a Muslim in Indonesia, blames Christians for the Crusades, hasn’t gone to church in seven years and when he did before it was to the service of a racist bigot who hates this country in order to get votes in Chicago- but to say that he’s not a Christian? It’s so far beyond the pale.

I say judge a man by his actions. How much does he give to charity? Tut-tut – your tax dollars to special interests don’t count. Does he bear false witness about his enemies? Is it possible for him to love his neighbor as much as he loves himself? Is he a man of peace or a divisive bigot who lives to sow animosity between those neighbors and a coveting of their belongings? Whicn 10 Commandment has Obama not broken?

Is he standing between the torches and pitchforks or is he the guy who organized the mob and threw gas on the fires? It’s pretty clear which camp Ayatollah Obama – Arbiter or What Is and What Ain’t officially Islam is.

Before one more goddamn question get’s asked of Scott Walker about Obama’s Christian faith, I want just a couple of questions asked of Obama:

Is Jesus Christ your one and only Lord and Saviour? That all others are false and that there is no way to heaven except through him? That he died and was resurrected from the dead?

If you can’t answer those questions then you are not a Christian. And Obama cannot answer those questions in the affirmative because he is not one.

Required Reading: Kevin Williamson’s piece at NRO and, of course, Mark Steyn’s take on what Obama is doing to the Middle East on purpose.

Ace even has a good post up about the manufactured outrage of the Jonathan Chaits of the world and their phony appeals to a leftwing patriotism that doesn’t, didn’t, and never will exist.

All these people calling shit like it is. I’m kind of glad I got up this morning.

Reason Number One To Deny Obama the AUMF

We owe a great debt to Obama’s many cult-like spokestwats. When Obama demanded that Congress grant him permission to use military force, you know that he will never reveal his true intentions to do ISIS’s dirty work for them in Syria and that he just wants more fingerprints on his clusterfuck. Psaki, Pfeiffer, Earnest, and Harf. The Four Whores of the 0pacalypse. The things that comes out of their mouths, with straight faces no less, defy all common sense and reveal a disciplined groupthink that never even considers how someone could disagree.

To wit, Obama needs a Congressional Authorization to Use Force so he will not use use force because force is not the answer:

“We’re killing a lot of them and we’re going to keep killing more of them. So are the Egyptians, so are the Jordanians. They’re in this fight with us. But we cannot win this war by killing them. We cannot kill our way out of this war. We need in the medium to longer term to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs

And at the end of the day, ISIS’s root cause for beheadings will be because of climate change and income inequality.

Who in their right mind would send US troops in to support that mission? Besides John McCain and Lispy Graham. They want to host job fairs and pass out midnight basketballs to ISIS.

This is lunacy on stilts in high winds during an earthquake.

It’s cult think. And cult think only comes from the top – from a cult of personality who goes unquestioned and doesn’t brook dissent.

Get Marie Harf in front of Congress immediately to testify about Obama’s new No Killing ISIS / War On Poverty strategy. Let the world appreciate her momentary lapse of candor that what was only meant for the MSLSD leftards.

Granting Obama a blank check to play Middle Eastern community organizer when his strategy is going to be to try bribing the most well funded terrorist group in history with taxpayer funded welfare under the guise of military intervention is going to get a a lot of Christians, US troops, and innocent people in the crossfire killed. In other words, another win, win, win, win for Smart Diplomacy.

When you see 21 Egyptian Coptic Christians beheaded and your State Department’s response is to want to send the headchoppers EBT cards and free community college – the enemy we need to fight first is in the White House.

Iran Responds To Obama’s Secret Communique

>News breaking overnight of the “thaw” in U.S.-Iranian relations following secret communications between High Cleric Obama and the Ayatollah Khomeini. The Wall Street Journal has the context:

“I will agree with a deal if one is made, but I will not approve a bad deal,” Mr. Khamenei said in the speech. “No deal is better than any deal which contradicts national interests, a deal which humiliates the great Iranian nation.”

It’s a novel concept to be sure. The quaint notion of looking out for the interest of your country first.

But we have the 6MB Exclusive! The actual response from the Ayatollah to Obama’s last secret love letter. In the spirit of the most transparent administration in history, we’ve decided to publish it and let the cards fall where they may.

Hopefully, Edward Snowden has a spare couch where I can crash.

Standard & A Lot Poorer’s

Lost in the shuffle of today’s non-stop nontroversy over vaccinating kids was the barbaric snuff video of ISIS’s AG Eric Holder setting a ratings agency on fire as example to others.

$1,400,000,000.00.

That is how much Eric Holder fined Standard & Poor’s for making his boss look bad when they downgraded the country’s credit rating in 2011.

S&P on Tuesday agreed to pay $1.5 billion to resolve litigation alleging it knowingly issued rosy grades of risky mortgage bonds before the crisis. As part of the deal, the government backed off demands that S&P admit to violating laws, reducing the firm’s exposure to future lawsuits.

Now, if we could only figure out who legislated that banks be forced make risky mortgages in the first place because 0% down payments are necessary for unqualified applicants to own homes they can’t afford or else racism.

Not content to extort fourteen hundred million dollars out of a mere rating agency, Holder also demanded as part of the settlement that S&P retract claims that his suit was filed in retaliation for the country’s credit downgrade:

Much of the fighting related to S&P’s allegation that the Justice Department sued in retaliation for the agency’s downgrade of U.S. government debt in 2011. S&P agreed to retract that charge as part of the deal. Attorney General Eric Holder said the retraction was important to him and the Justice Department.

Move over Al and Je$$e, there’s a new shakedown artist in town.

So that settlement condition was also a retaliation. Like the $16,000,000,000.00 extortion of Bank of America, these funds will eventually be distributed to newly reconstituted ACORN groups, La Raza, and a host of other Obama special interests.

Pearl Harbor By Design

I am not a military strategist but, if you will indulge me, how wise is it to compact so many naval assets into such  a tight, hostile area to our interests on all sides?

The U.S. Navy doubled its presence in the eastern Mediterranean over the past week, effectively adding two destroyers to the three that generally patrol the region. The five destroyers are carrying a combined load of about 200 Tomahawk missiles, officials say.

Shouldn’t you, oh I don’t know, be sure that you are going to get authorization before putting all of your eggs in this basket?  To begin, you’re telegraphing your every move which may be the point if you are a little bird who wants to puff up your little bird chest.  However, if the vote comes down on “no” and you attack anyway then you are creating a Constitutional crisis by choice.  If the vote comes down on “no” and you leave the area then you hand Syria a major victory over the paper tiger that is the U.S. under Barack Obama with all those destroyers making a u-turn and sailing off into the sunset of the Post-American world.

And to what end?

Mr Obama said any strike would be to “send a shot across the bow” and give a “pretty strong signal that [Syria] better not do it again”.

None of this makes any sense. “Send a pretty strong signal”???  Who writes this shit?  A leather belt sends a strong message.  Tomahawks send death from above.

You want Assad gone but you’re not going to remove him.  You want to spank him on the ass with Tomahawk missiles and then turn around and leave anyway?  He’s not a dog who pissed the rug “and you better not do it again”.  Our military is not called upon for “norm enforcement” and to be global disciplinarians.  They are trained to kill and if needed to try and keep the peace afterwards.

Hang the albatross of Syria around Russia’s neck.  They are the ones providing them with all of the logistical support and weapons they need to attack us and put down their bloody rebellion.  They are the enemy.  The operative phrase is “selling Assad weapons to attack us”.  Putin has declared war on us by his Syrian proxy through these actions.

Not in the eyes of Barack Obama though.  Syria is a mess to try and pin on Republicans somehow.  You know.  The real enemy in all of this.

If you are Russia or China, the time to attack us is now.  They could wipe out our naval might in a day and we’d be playing catch-up for years.  That might be the point of Obama’s consolidation of our naval fish in the Mediterranean barrel.  If he was fine with getting Seal Team 6 killed as tribute to his Taliban “peace partners” and letting Benghazi burn so the Brotherhood could get the weapons Congress wouldn’t send to them then setting our destroyers out to be attacked sounds like it is right up his alley.

If he would invite a Muslim cleric to damn Seal Team 6 to hell at their own funeral, there is absolutely nothing beneath this traitor.

The Racial Potty Training Of A President

The only thing more offensive than Obama’s antagonistic and bigoted soliloquy following the Zimmerman acquittal has been the simultaneously condescending and exultant exhortations of his admirers.

We are somehow supposed to be amazed that a Chicago machine pol who has profited from pimping his race his entire life can give a speech that makes white liberals feel comfortable in their prejudices and their continued inability to overcome them.  So comfortable, in fact, that they follow the speech with praise more suited to a little boy who has learned to use the bathroom all by himself.  In public no less!

Sen. John McCain, the Arizona Republican who lost the 2008 presidential race to Obama, called the president’s remarks “very impressive,” and said they should help all Americans think about how to improve race relations in the wake of Trayvon Martin’s death.

“I think we continue to make progress,” McCain told CNN’s State of the Union, but recent events show “we still have a long way to go.”

McCain also said he wouldn’t “second guess” the Florida jury’s decision this month to acquit George Zimmerman for the death of the 17-year-old Trayvon.

What an impressive turd of a speech you have laid on the front lawn of every American!  All by yourself!

But “second guessing” the Florida jury’s decision is precisely what Obama said.  I respect their decision but I don’t agree with it and I’m going to have my Attorney General continue to harass Zimmerman for alleged civil rights violations until he’s either shot by a Trayvon Martin supporter or commits suicide.

This is McCain’s idea of “impressive” for President 12%.  If Obama is only going to represent 12% of the population then that’s what he needs to be called and he doesn’t represent them all that well to begin.

Not one to be outdone, David Brooks had a keen eye for slacks creases on the Meet The Press this morning:

On Sunday’s broadcast of “Meet the Press” on NBC, New York Times columnist David Brooks gushed over President Barack Obama’s speech on race in the wake of the George Zimmerman verdict a week earlier.

“It seemed superficially unimportant, but it’s important to remember race is his first subject, as it would be if you had a black father and a white mother,” Brooks said. “And all the mental habits, he breached all the other issues, grow out of the way he framed race and the way he started thinking about race — his tendency to do, ‘On the one hand, on the other,’ his desire to reconcile opposites, his ability to see different points of view. All the stuff we’ve come to see him apply to every other issue, it started with race.  And I thought this speech was one of the highlights of the presidency.”

“I thought it was a symphony of indignation, professionalism, executive responsibility, personal feeling,” Brooks said. “It had all these different things woven together, I thought beautifully.  But it’s important to remember, race is how he thinks.”

He said as he wiped off his chin and dusted his knee caps.

And what was his most memorable line for this “highlight of his presidency” to elicit such effusive praise?  The only line I’ve heard anyone quote is a play off his earlier comments that “He could have been Trayvon Martin 35 years ago”?

I wish.  If he’d assaulted someone like George Zimmerman 35 years ago it would have saved us several trillion dollars.

What Brooks is praising, Obama’s ability to keep himself in two worlds, is the problem.  You can’t pledge false allegiance to the rule of law while encouraging a mob action.  You can’t be both right and wrong.

In keeping with the commodal  theme of this post, you either shit or get off the pot.  You either urge calm, or you don’t.  You don’t say the law was right and then side with thousands of protesters laying seige to federal buildings all over the country laboring under the stubborn narrative that Travyon Martin was stalked or hunted by George Zimmerman and killed for being black on a Tuesday night by a Stand Your Ground defense using cracker.

That is not what happened and siding with people who have turned it into that is more than just unpresidential.  It’s a shitty thing to do.

And leaves others to clean up the mess he made.

Courting Controversy

I am utterly baffled by what gets people happy these days.  Why should liberals be excited that the same 5-4 margin of victory as Citizens United just went the other way in favor forcing businesses, churches, religious-based hospitals and people who have voted overwhelmingly the other way to accept gay marriage?  Oh, for Citizens United it’s wrong.  But for this it’s right.  Striking down part of the Voting Rights Act is wrong.  But this is right.

It’s always right when it’s something you want and it’s always wrong when it’s something you don’t.  Some consistency would be nice.

Let’s just get something out of the way – I do not believe that being gay should be a protected status.  It is a lifestyle choice.  Just like being straight.  Just like using drugs.  Just like wearing a pink mohawk and a leather jacket.  People get judged for lifestyle choices.  By their families, friends and employers.  Whether or not you feel you are born that way and how you choose to live your life is a personal choice.  Embrace the personal responsibility for how you have chosen to live your life.  That’s not a judgment against it.

Presumably, you are a person.  Presumably, one rich in spirit and capable of many thoughts and feelings above those of primates.  I myself am an amalgam of a wide-ranging and sometimes contradictory set of personal beliefs and actions.  However, I would never seek to only define and identify myself but what I prefer to stick in my asshole, mouth or what genital I prefer to lick.

To define yourself solely based on your sexual behavior is a perversion whether you are homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or asexual.

I don’t fully know what to think about the Supreme Court rulings today.  My personal belief is that government has no right regulating marriage – period.  The only way conservatives can preserve marriage is to have the federal government end giving tax credits, incentives, etc. to one group of people and not to another.  Otherwise, Big Government with it’s all crushingly clumsy boots are going to step all over your steeple.

Everyone can still get married in their church.  If your church recognizes same-sex marriage well good for you.  But everyone should enter a civil union if they want the state or federal government to recognize legal implications from your religious ceremony and eventually there will be standardized nomenclature for asset distribution and in the event of death or marital dissolution.  It can automatically renew based on a negotiated timeline with an auto-renew clause unless notified in writing 90 days in advance.

I know.  I’m a romantic.  But tax credits and government incentives are what have given the government the wink and nod to jam the tips of their gangbanging 5-4 Supreme Court strap-ons into the tender orifices of the historical institution of marriage and the only way to preserve it is to quit taking their welfare.

Exit question:  So, the historically anti-samesex marriage Obama can call up gay activists congratulating them on a judicial victory like they just won the Super Bowl with a sense of urgency he doesn’t reserve for his Ambassador in Benghazi crying for help as he’s being raped in the streets and murdered?

Priorities, people.  Priorities.

Skinny Brother Is Watching You

My conversational acquaintances, familiar with my knack for heresy, often comment about how if these leftards would just read Fahrenheit 451, 1984 or Brave New World that they wouldn’t be taking us down this road towards a technophilial autocratopia.

“Hell, no!”, I say.

Libertarians and conservatives generally consider those works cautionary tales.  Liberals and Progsheviks consider them instruction manuals.  And they don’t need any more ideas:

Sales of George Orwell’s “1984” are up 69 percent on Amazon, according to a list on the website.

The book marked its 60th anniversary on June 6 amid a flurry of real-world news stories on secret government surveillance.

Amazon lists the paperback version of the sci-fi classic as the 19th biggest book on its Movers and Shakers list. The current sales rank is 110.

It’s at this point that you realize that Obama’s eternally devoted, lifelong ward of the state “Julia” is actually modeled after the 1984 character.

President Dronekiller McGitmo gets the Peace Prize.  Pretending that the Ministry of Ethics datamining your cellphone records, rooting through tax applications and medical records is a sign of our Strength and Owning a Home, a Car and Responsibility for your own life and that of your family really is a kind of Slavery.

 There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always — do not forget this, Winston — always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever.

In fact, we have long welcomed this debate on a host of subjects that we’re relentlessly prosecuting the people who mentioned them to you.

Perhaps Current TV can sponsor a new 24-hour tv show called Room 101 where we can be re-educated to stop worrying about those clanging chains called mortgages, jobs, student loans and marriages and simply focus on the one thing that binds us – Learning to Love Skinny Brother!

“He gazed up at thearrogant face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden behind that disgusting mole next to his held-high nose. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! O bama! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Skinny Brother.”

In fact, if you’re intent on not loving that irresistible Skinny Brother – We’re Gonna Have a Problem ™.

No kidding.  Now you’re telling me?

“Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling. Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty and then we shall fill you with ourselves.”

 

Dear Graduating Class of 2013 / Future Sex Offender Registrants

Any time and place is the right time to be lectured by Barack Obama about whatever pet issue that he’s pushing that day.

Oh.  Did you think your graduation was about you and your hard work over the last several years?  No, no, and one more enthusiastic no young man, lady or as yet undetermined he/she/it.

Graduation ceremonies are about the invited speaker opining to you about what really grinds their gears.  The fact that your existence is one of them is just more guilt-laden icing on their gluten free cake:

President Obama on Friday used the issue of sexual assault in the military to illustrate to Naval Academy graduates the importance of trust and honor at a time when the public has grown weary of missteps by public servants.

“It only takes the misconduct of a few to further erode people’s trust in their government,” Obama told the graduates at Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium.

Everybody has a big screen tv in their home these days but when I was growing up you had to go sit in a movie theater to see projection that large.

Ensign No Class Barry “Choom Choom” Soetero reporting for duty 30 years too late, sir!

Now I get it!  The public has grown weary and mistrustful of public servants because of rampant sex abuse in the Navy.  Not unconstitutionally wiretapping the AP, James Rosen and his parents, drone strikes on US civilians, leaving Navy SEALs and ambassadors to die when you could have helped, voter suppression of Tea Party activists by the IRS or that same IRS being in charge of grabbing every citizen by the back of the head and forcing their mouths down on Obamacare’s thorny cock.

No…it was sex abuse in the military.  Ok.  I’ll play along.

Continuing with Obama’s theme of military personnel as unrepentant rapists, his handpicked and defense-hating Secretary of Defense blew his own rape whistle at West Point graduates this morning:

Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel told graduates of the United States Military Academy at West Point on Saturday that sexual assaults would be a “a profound betrayal” of their oaths to the Army.

Hagel challenged the 2013 West Point graduates to “be the generation of leaders who stop” internal issues like sexual assaults, alcoholism and suicide, which he said were “debilitating, incendiary and destructive” to the Army’s strength.

“Sexual harassment and assault are a profound betrayal of sacred oaths and sacred trust,” Hagel said during his speech. “This scourge must be stamped out. We’re all accountable for ensuring that this happens. We can’t fail the Army or America. We can’t fail each other.”

*clap, clap, cla……….*       *clap*

Shorter Hagel:  You’ve completed your training.  I’m sure it was a picnic. He’s your gun.  Now don’t get drunk and start raping people.

I’m trying to envision this line of Graduation speeches if it was similarly applied at Morehouse.

Dear Morehouse Men:

It’s been a long six years full of countless malt liquors to achieve that Bachelors in Sociology that you’ve accumulated $40k in debt towards.  Please do not use your educations for manufacturing crack cocaine on your way to impregnating some dumb slut who will be pushing the baby that you’re not around to raise across seven lanes of traffic from her one bedroom apartment in a dangerous neighborhood to the bus stop for her daily commute to the welfare office.

Oh, and congratulations on your hard work!  The lifelong dream of both you and your ancestors to give me a fistbump will be administered shortly.

The difference is Obama admonishes Morehouse grads to be giving back to the community while he’s imploring military personnel to not become felonious sex offenders.

For someone whose primary work experience consisted of a Baskin-Robbins, light general office work and an occasional adjunct lecturer on his way to becoming the world’s leading amateur golfer / street ball power forward, he certainly knows how to recognize the laziness in others.

For someone who is the epitome of an affirmative action charity case, who to this day refuses to unseal his own college transcripts, he is adept at hijacking a day that so many struggled and sacrified to achieve in order to coopt it and rob it of any joy in the service of his instinctive need to hector you with his prejudices of you.

Don’t ever invite this guy to speak at your wedding.  He’ll let you know he’s the best man and that despite all of your numerous flaws that it’s important that you not abandon each other when times get rough in the economy he created.

Again, thank you America for the gift of this self-righteous fuckwad.

An IRS Full of Lynndie Englands

Lynndie England

Remember when low-level functionaries operating outside the law were the direct responsibility of The President and the type of lawless culture he promoted?  I mean, it’s not applicable now since 94% of the IRS employees union donates money to Obama and the post-Modern media is incapable of making the logical conclusion that there is a correlation between that number and the shared beliefs of the two.

And even less so, since buck passing has risen in popularity over the last several years:

The Roots of Abu Ghraib

Published: June 09, 2004

In response to the outrages at Abu Ghraib, the Bush administration has repeatedly assured Americans that the president and his top officials did not say or do anything that could possibly be seen as approving the abuse or outright torture of prisoners.

Since the Abu Ghraib scandal broke into public view, the administration has contended that a few sadistic guards acted on their own to commit the crimes we’ve all seen in pictures and videos. At times, the White House has denied that any senior official was aware of the situation, as it did with Red Cross reports documenting a pattern of prisoner abuse in Iraq. In response to a rising pile of documents proving otherwise, the administration has mounted a ”Wizard of Oz” defense, urging Americans not to pay attention to inconvenient evidence.

Today, those purveyors of Ozian prevarications are called Jay Carney, Dan Pfeiffer and David Plouffe.  By the current definition, Abu Ghraib would have only been possible if you were able to produce timestamped e-mails from George Bush to Lynndie England advising her on her patriotic duty to point at terrorists’ junk and building gay pyramids with them.  Anything else is just “political hay” and “distractions”.

Lying Prick

Lying Prick:  Lying like the prickishly, pig-snouted sociopath he is.  Prick.

After all, Bush should have refrained from “Wizard of Oz” defenses and gone straight for the “Duh, I found out when you guys did when I read the paper this morning” defense.  Who wouldn’t be encouraged by the current President’s seemingly drunk driving while blindfolded, hands-off-the-wheel, pedal to the metal approach to governing?  That stupid Bush didn’t read papers but he was the personal Torquemada of systemic torture at a makeshift prison on the other side of the world when not clearing out brush on his ranch of hate.

But we know that Obama is not a hands off person.  He’s a control freak.  And the only time that he of a million “I, I, I, I” speeches is nowhere near the Captain’s Quarters is when there is some blame needing be placed.

We do not know how high up in the chain of command the specific sanction for abusing prisoners was given, and we may never know, because the Army is investigating itself and the Pentagon is stonewalling the Senate Armed Services Committee. It may yet be necessary for Congress to form an investigative panel with subpoena powers to find the answers.

What we have seen, topped by that legalistic treatise on torture, shows clearly that Mr. Bush set the tone for this dreadful situation by pasting a false ”war on terrorism” label on the invasion of Iraq.

Ah, yes.  “Tone setting”.

Surely, the New York Times is positing a similar thought this weekend in the wake of widespread, years long IRS persecution of ideologically and religiously litmus-tested groups in order to quell their patriotic dissent before an election.  Surely, their flame of outrage would burn brightly out of consistency alone!  To do so otherwise would be bare assed hypocrisy.

NEWS that employees at the Internal Revenue Service targeted groups with “Tea Party” or “patriot” in their name for special scrutiny has raised pious alarms among some lawmakers and editorial writers.

Yes, the I.R.S. may have been worse than clumsy in considering an (ed. – non-existent) avalanche of applications for nonprofit status under the tax code, and that deserves scrutiny whether or not the agency’s employees were spurred by partisan motives. After all, some of these “tea party” groups are most likely not innocent nonprofit organizations devoted to the cultural significance of hot beverages — or to other, more civic, virtues. Rather, they and others are groups that may be illegally spending a majority of their resources on political activity while manipulating the tax code to hide their donors and evade taxes (the unwritten rule being that no more than 49 percent of a group’s resources can be used for political purposes).

For the people who demand that you provide videotaped confessions, time stamped e-mails and caught-red-handed evidence that Obama had absolutely nothing to do with he political targeting of his enemies and of which he was the direct beneficiary of that persecution, they certainly have no problem proclaiming allegations of tax evasion of nefarious motives to the victims in this instance while excusing the IRS perpetrators as merely “clumsy” with zero evidence whatsoever.

Where was this caveat as to the inherent guilt of those Abu Ghraib prisoners?  Were those prison guards not laboring under conditions worse than the cubicle dwelling paper miners at the IRS?

Congress has already announced hearings and investigations, and the service’s leadership will be grilled, as it should be. But it would be a travesty if the misdeeds here undermined the important work that must now be done to foster greater transparency, and to bolster confidence that the I.R.S. is in fact scrutinizing politically active groups across the board, regardless of their ideological bent.

Citizens need to rest assured that the integrity of our political system is intact.

As opposed to publishing inflammatory pictures and making unsubstantiated allegations in bad faith that sexual abuse of enemy combantants was demanded from on high in order to enflame Islamic fundamentalists to attack our service people because you wanted to lay blame for low-level military personnel’s behavior at the feet of the Commander-In-Chief with the non-preferred party letter after their name.  In order to “assure the integrity of our political system”.

If it wasn’t for double standards, the New York Times would have no standards at all.

UPDATE:  Even a stodgey old hack like Bob Schieffer finally had enough of the aforementioned Capital “P” Prick Dan Pfeiffer’s bald-faced obfuscations this morning.  When the Wilford Brimley of the Obama’s old media water carriers starts telling you to you to your stupid oinking face that you are sounding like Nixon during Watergate, it might be time to reverse course on demanding that Republicans apologize for impugning the reputation of Susan Rice for lying to the American People on five morning talk shows in a row.

You know, Dan.  Can I call you Dan?  Gunga Dan.  Your boss, Mr. Post-Racial, was at the race-based Morehouse College explaining to their graduating future welfare recipients that they are going to have to work “twice as hard” as white people just “to get by”.  That means that they would have to lie twice as hard as you to be in your position.  Hard to even imagine how that’s possible.

Exit question.  Why can’t anyone call a lie a “lie” anymore?  It’s dolled up in euphemisms like “you’re not telling the truth” or providing some golden bridge excuse for a lack of honesty.  When you’re a liar, you’re a liar.  Capital “L”, little “i”, little “a”, little “r”.  Liar.  Dan The Lying Prickface Pfeiffer.  End of story.

But I do understand how in this economy of your boss’s making that a House Cracka gotta eat and if it means going on tv and mouthing a few of Master’s lies to let you back on the porch that Obama’s House Crackas gotta do what a cracka gotta do.  You’re a better man than I, Gunga Dan.

Gabby Giffords Gives Us A Piece of Her Mind

Er, what’s left of it anyway in this smarmy, disingenuous, crayon scrawled, color-by-numbers NY Times op-ed:

On Wednesday, a minority of senators gave into fear and blocked common-sense legislation that would have made it harder for criminals and people with dangerous mental illnesses to get hold of deadly firearms — a bill that could prevent future tragedies like those in Newtown, Conn., Aurora, Colo., Blacksburg, Va., and too many communities to count.

Gave into fear?  Those people looked straight into what used to be your face and voted the conscience of their constituents.  That you can’t understand that may be written up to damaged ear drums or loss of cognitive abilities or what have you.  But make no mistake.  Let me be clear.  It took courage to stand up against the rotten, emotional blackmail perpetrated by your fellow Grabbies.

I always suspected she had something against minorities but her lies about this pathetic attempt to manipulate the public by Obama wearing a stole made out of the dead pelts of tender children makes me think she’s also a self-hating handicap.  Can’t depressed people defend themselves, too?

I know what it feels like to take a tough vote. This was neither. These senators made their decision based on political fear and on cold calculations about the money of special interests like the National Rifle Association, which in the last election cycle spent around $25 million on contributions, lobbying and outside spending.

So 40+ Senators were bought off with less money than Michael Bloomberg has spent in the last two months?  We should get the NRA to run the Treasury with that kind of ROI.   This is more than just making an argument that no one is acting in good faith and has legitimate concerns about a bill that was not going to be allowed to be debated.   It is about dehumanizing your enemies.  Kind of like Jared Loughner did before he tried to wipe a few out.

Speaking is physically difficult for me. But my feelings are clear: I’m furious. I will not rest until we have righted the wrong these senators have done, and until we have changed our laws so we can look parents in the face and say: We are trying to keep your children safe.

I’m sure a few thousand women who visited a Philadelphia abortion clinic and whose uterii look like the inside of Grabby’s cranium and whose children’s remains are being snaked out of the toilet they were flushed down or thawed out in the stale milk cartons that constitute their final resting place might disagree about the scope of the shit that Gabby Giffords gives about the kids vis a vis – Their Safety(tm).  Exponentially more kids died at Kermit Gosnell’s cloven hooves on the altar of choice than those sacrosanct more advanced fetuses greater angels of Sandy Hook.

But, ugh.  I do agree with Gabby.  Listening to her speak is physically difficult for me as well.  I’m furious whenever I see Barack Obama doing a Jeff Dunham impersonation and sticking his hand up her ass to make her mouth move.  Despite how old the act has gotten, there is always a fresh coat of Murphy’s Oil on her when she’s taken out of the box. *tap, tap, tap*  Is this thing on?  Apparently, not.

I am asking every reasonable American to help me tell the truth about the cowardice these senators demonstrated. I am asking for mothers to stop these lawmakers at the grocery store and tell them: You’ve lost my vote. I am asking activists to unsubscribe from these senators’ e-mail lists and to stop giving them money. I’m asking citizens to go to their offices and say: You’ve disappointed me, and there will be consequences.

If she wasn’t already half an invalid, I would have said that last line is a dog-whistle to incite murder against the Senators who voted against this atrocity of a gun-grab bill.  Maybe Gabby can encourage “mothers” to write letters to their Senators laced with Minute Ricin in the likely event that they don’t run into their Senator at the grocery store.

Mark my words: if we cannot make our communities safer with the Congress we have now, we will use every means available to make sure we have a different Congress, one that puts communities’ interests ahead of the gun lobby’s. To do nothing while others are in danger is not the American way.

“To do nothing while others are in danger is not the American way.”  She says this with a straight face.  Or as straight as her face will get.

A couple of Navy SEALs, intelligence officers and a raped Libyan Ambassador were unavailable for comment.

Blissfully Unaware

I remember before September 11th.  It wasn’t that long ago.  Airport lines were shorter.  Not necessarily pleasant but they didn’t involve a prostate exam by a person selling nude body scans of you on the Internet.

What I remember most was the feeling the morning before everyone knew.  The not having to care as much.  The enemy is over there.  Sure, we all have to worry about the criminals among us but the truly damaging threats are somewhere on the other side of a sea.

It’s why North Korea bothers me so much now:

The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an “emergency meeting” early on Friday morning. They show Kim signing the order for North Korea’s strategic rocket forces to be on standby to fire at US targets, the paper said, with large-scale maps and diagrams in the background.

Move along.  Nothing to see here, right?  Just more Bellicose Rhetoric ™ from a young dictator wannabe trying to show his military experience is what they keep telling us.   Obama’s in Charge!  What could possibly go wrong with such a experienced statesman like that at the helm?

Let’s just poo-poo these comments and see the continuation of Clintonian State Departmentalizing.  We’ll say his comments are “unhelpful”.  Maybe when the rockets are fueled and you see the blood-raging in his eyes you can upgrade them to “deeply concerning”.

“He finally signed the plan on technical preparations of strategic rockets, ordering them to be on standby to fire so that they may strike any time the US mainland, its military bases in the operational theatres in the Pacific, including Hawaii and Guam, and those in South Korea,” the state-run KCNA news agency reported.

Huh?  Wuh?  I’m sorry.  I wasn’t paying attention.  The family’s coming over Easter and I’ve been busy with trying to do my taxes.  I got this new tablet and you won’t believe all the crazy shit it does.

Kim “convened an urgent operation meeting” of senior generals just after midnight, signed a rocket preparation plan and ordered his forces on standby to strike the U.S. mainland, South Korea, Guam and Hawaii, state media reported.

How long are you suppoesd to thaw a turkey?  I’m probably just going to get a ham from Honeybaked or something.  I’m sure we don’t have enough chairs.  It would be easier if we just went out.  And cheaper too.  Nashville is growing so much.  We’re absolutely certain that we’re the next big thing.  So many new places to choose from in Midtown and The Gulch and all the right people are moving here.

Kim said “the time has come to settle accounts with the U.S. imperialists in view of the prevailing situation,” according to a report by the North’s official Korean Central News Agency.

Later Friday at the main square in Pyongyang, tens of thousands of North Koreans turned out for a 90-minute mass rally in support of Kim’s call to arms. Men and women, many of them in olive drab uniforms, stood in arrow-straight lines, fists raised as they chanted, “Death to the U.S. imperialists.” Placards in the plaza bore harsh words for South Korea as well, including, “Let’s rip the puppet traitors to death!”

Now, to the untrained eye, this type of thing is just what they do over there.  Little children that they are.  Banging their highchairs for attention.  Pat them on the head.  Tell everyone to calm down and quit being so sensitive.  We went from being the World’s Policeman to the World’s Wet Nurse in five short years.  In another three we’re going to be it’s bitch.

Experts believe the country is years away from developing nuclear-tipped missiles that could strike the United States. Many say they’ve also seen no evidence that Pyongyang has long-range missiles that can hit the U.S. mainland.

Lucky for us – experts are never wrong.  It’s not like Little Un has painted himself into a corner here that if he doesn’t do something that he’s going to look incredibly weak.

So where are we? What changes if:

A nuclear missile flies and gets shot down by an iron dome rocket.  Do we call that a mulligan and schedule tea with the Ambassador?

A nuclear missile flies and misses its target.  Another mulligan?

A nuclear missile flies and it hits an ally, a US territory or our mainland.  Then what?

What changes?  The world, chico.  The world.

You can almost see the Army manuals being written now.  When your transgendered platoon leader conducts door-to-door introductions with environmentally and ethnically sensitive gift baskets you should introduce yourself with your head bowed so as not to offend.

As on that same morning before the crisis, we remain unprepared and unwilling to acknowledge the threat in our faces.  It’s over there somewhere.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel *shudder* said on Thursday that North Korea‘s provocative actions and belligerent tone had “ratcheted up the danger” on the Korean peninsula, but he denied that the United States had aggravated the situation by flying stealth bombers to the region.

We have to take seriously every provocative, bellicose word and action that this new young leader has taken so far” since coming to power, Hagel told a Pentagon news conference, referring to Kim Jong-un.

Ah, yes.  The “young” leader.  Good thing he’s not a woman.  She’d probably just be on her period or something.  The U.S. has to take North Korea seriously.  At least we have to say we do.  Else we lose the optics.  Perhaps we can push through some gun control legislation because of this.  Or maybe some gay marriage bills.    Or perhaps some more laserlike focus on Priorty Numero Uno – Yobs!  You know the problem that’s solved already.

I don’t know about ya’ll but I am taking my money out of the bank.  Remember, we financed two wars we didn’t need on a credit card so they say.  How do you think they’re going to pay for the one they are going to let happen to us?  Get Alec Baldwin to transfer our balances to a new, low-interest rate Capital One Card?

Come to think of it – what am I worried about money for?  An arsonist is fleeing the scene of the shithouse moments before it goes up in flames.  Sure he’s in a 600 ton bulletproof limousine that doesn’t run on diesel and if Trayvon had a father it would probably look like him but that is somebody else’s problem.  Hopefully Austin, Texas.

And the money?  I never missed what I never had.  I can leave it in my 401k and the Dow will jump 200 points once the first missile lands.  Now, about that turkey.

From the Wayback Machine:

Slack Ops

On Wii, Ennui: Will Obama be able to finish 18 holes in time to hold the 38th parallel?

Use pitch, draw and don’t forget SPIN to turn what is traditionally a lazy, rich man’s pastime into your foreign policy legacy.

Realistic gameplay lets you be the POTUS. When North Korea launches a sneak attack on an ally’s civilians, you are forced to reckon with 18 Holes to avert Nuclear Holocaust starting off with a brutal par 5 where you must negotiate a harrowing sand trap after the first dog leg.  If we can’t get back to the clubhouse by nightfall, a tersely worded letter to the U.N. won’t get drafted in time!

So Real Even Your Ratings Will Plummet: Use the crowd control feature to whip-up or settle down a fawning press corps.  Camo’d cameo announcers Chris Mathews, Andrea Mitchell, Katie Couric and Brian Williams report from the rough (terrain of their New York /D.C.studios) to give you the play-by-play commentary and your Wii controller’s leg adapter unleashes our patented vibrating Tingle ™ Technology.  Don’t get distracted by how awesome you are. You’ve still got to compose that meeting request with your Cabinet so you can draft that letter!

Unlock hidden missions! It’s a game inside of the game.  After being rebuffed from Chinese diplomats, you are forced to enter into a deadly game of pick-up basketball.  Will Robert Gibbs get picked last?    Use Obama’s natural tendency to bow as you reach in to steal the ball and hog it until the shot clock runs down.  You only have minutes left before you can draft that text message to your assistant so she can schedule that meeting request with your Cabinet and hold a quorum on that letter you were thinking about writing when everybody was still mad about that thing that happened - before The Final Buzzer.

 

 

 

My Dinner With Zero

How you been? Good.

Last night we got to witness THE perfect contrast between the (admittedly tiny) freedom-loving wing of the GOP and the old guard of gutless country-club grifters.

On one hand, you had Paul, Lee and Cruz questioning whether or not it was wise to give the executive branch the freedom to assassinate its own citizens with drones. A simple question really. When your leaders are soulless idealogues, perhaps this type of power should be carefully considered before being handed out like popsicles at a 6-year-old’s pool party.

On the other, you had McShame, Lispy and our own beloved Corker breaking bread with the very same commie who has repeatedly pretended to play nice while turning around and stabbing them all in the back as soon as the cameras show up. If I were dumber, I would say that these Senators are simply naiive, but these jackals are in it for themselves as they’ve always been. I hope they kissed his ring as they entered.

Lawmakers emerged from the powwow describing it as a positive meeting and a friendly gathering that focused on the possibility of eventually reaching a deal on the budget and deficit reduction. But the meeting does not appear to have been any kind of a negotiating session – rather more of a way to build trust and relationships that have been absent for much of Obama’s term.

The meeting is part of Obama’s sudden new outreach to Republicans. He invited the senators to the dinner, and he has also asked House Budget Committee Chairman Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) to have lunch with him at the White House today. The committee’s ranking member, Democratic Rep. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, will also join them.

Emerging from the gathering, Sen. John McCain of Arizona gave reporters the thumbs up, as did Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, who was close to Obama when the two served together in the Senate. No word on whether they were referencing the food or the meeting.

Our one-party political crime syndicate continues apace. Thank God for the few who are still willing to buck the system in the midst of a massive lost cause.

MOAR:

Just in case you’re not clear on the situation or have been living under a rock for 8 years, McShame and Lispy (as well as Lamar! and the rest of the crew) need to go. Yesterday. They are the cancer. Paul/Cruz/Lee are the chemo.

The Shortest Straw Has Been Drawn For You

And you’re welcome.

I always love Yahoo’s trashy “list” pieces.  Which cars get better mileage than a Prius.  Five vodka cocktails that aren’t lame.  How many dildoes can Kim Kardashian stuff in her Coach bag.

Oddly enough, this one caught my eye:

The Next 4 Years:  Show us what you want changed in Obama’s Second Term

Sadly, no dramatic re-enactments from Ford Theater made the list or Obama defecting to Venezuela to take Hugo Chavez’s place.

What are your hopes for the next four years? President Barack Obama begins his second term in office on Jan. 20, with a hefty number of important issues facing the nation, including:

* Immigration reform
* Gun control
* Federal spending
* Environmental protection
* Gay marriage
* A changing military
* Education reform
* Health care
* Afghanistan
* Washington gridlock

What do these issues mean to you?

Yahoo News is asking you to help us tell this story. Here’s how you can participate:

Gee.  What is missing from that list?  As usual with the insulated Obamatards, JOBS are somehow no longer a problem.

I mean the unemployment rate has been jerryrigged to under 8% so everything’s coming up Milhouse.

everything is coming up milhouse

But it does read like the Donald Kaul column demanding that we do something about a million things that don’t matter while assassinating the few people who are trying to protect the most important check in the  Constitution. Littered with Obamanian false premises leading to the narrowly defined false choice “answers” that will scupper your simple minds in to acknowledging.  We’ve got to do something about guns because a crazy person got one and did something bad.  And if you don’t then you want kids to die.

How many get into a car everyday?  Why are cars made to drive faster than the speed limit?  Why are beers served in sizes and alcohol contents so great as to get you over the legal limit with one?  Why, why, why does personal freedom stand in the way saving Just One Life ™.  Because if we could limit all of those things and save one life It Would Be Worth It.

The only difference is that Obama typically asserts that everyone, even his detractors somehow, a majority of them agree with him but – darnit – just can’t bring themselves to applaud how right he is out of petty politics.

It’s like a rapist demanding you admit that he’s got staying power and stamina for days.  You’re welcome.

One thing I’d like on the list is for Obama to get off the furking golf course and get Harry Reid to pass a budget for the first time in five years.  Also, not on the list.   Quit nominating traitors to key positions.  Quit looting the Treasury to fatten his union thugs.  Quit negotiating with terrorists behind our backs.  Quit instructing troops to give more sensitivity to the Taliban than Obama gives to half the country.  Or maybe, just someone in the media telling him or the first Wookie that there are actually numerous areas of our personal lives that don’t demand the invasive penis of government being thrust into reluctant anus of a public that would like to be left alone.

I know I speak for Obama when I say that everyone wants government up their asses.  Particularly his government, whose penis/executive orders they love, but just can’t bring themselves to admit it.

As long as we’re making up stuff that’s never going to happen…what do you wish would change in Obama’s second term?

 

Sad Robot Delivers High School Commencement Speech Wrapped In A Unitarian Sermon

Gettysburg this ain’t.  Sad Robot delivered his programmed transmission to the much heralded “interfaith” vigil in Newtown, CT last night in response to the unscheduled 29th trimester abortions of the white kids Jamie Foxx wanted to kill once they grew up.

Systems responded normal throughout beta testing.  The tear duct emotasensor still appeared to be on the fritz but Barack-O-Bot powered through like some Energizer Bunny beating the drum of gun control:

It comes as a shock at a certain point where you realize no matter how much you love these kids, you can’t do it by yourself, that this job of keeping our children safe and teaching them well is something we can only do together, with the help of friends and neighbors, the help of a community and the help of a nation.

And in that way we come to realize that we bear responsibility for every child, because we’re counting on everybody else to help look after ours, that we’re all parents, that they are all our children.

He said, “You didn’t raise that child.  Somebody else did.”

This glitch in Sad Robot’s readings represents a disturbed understanding that a family comes after the community in order of importance.  They are their parent’s children.  They are not The Community’s children.

In the coming weeks, I’ll use whatever power this office holds to engage my fellow citizens, from law enforcement, to mental health professionals, to parents and educators, in an effort aimed at preventing more tragedies like this, because what choice do we have? We can’t accept events like this as routine.

Are we really prepared to say that we’re powerless in the face of such carnage, that the politics are too hard?

Are we prepared to say that such violence visited on our children year after year after year is somehow the price of our freedom?

You know, all the world’s religions, so many of them represented here today, start with a simple question.

A.  Where does this multicultural bullshit get interjected?  Newtown, Connecticut according to their last Census is 95% white, 2% hispanic and 2% black.  Am I to assume that like the United States as a whole that it was founded by Muslims and that 95% of those white people along with the 4% of their servants are evenly distributed across Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism and Islam as opposed to being a primarily Christian gathering?

That one line tells you what this speech was.  It was not a comfort speech to the sleepy little top 1% burg of Newtown.  It was a gun control speech to the nation as I predicted earlier.  Your tragedy is my opportunity.

Insert a series of false choices where you either support banning all semi-automatic weapons or you eat babies for breakfast.  This is coming from a guy who demands that abortion providers grab a pre-human by the appendages and beat its head against a porcelain sink if it’s accidentlly born alive.  Sad Robot is anything but human.

You have a false choice.  Your children’s lives or the 2nd Amendment.  I’d say without the 2nd you can never insure their lives.  Sad Robot does not see your money as belonging to you and it’s fairly evident in his comments last night that your children don’t belong to you either.  Over 200 years into this experiment, how are children even alive in America under this logic?

They belong to us.  They belong to a benevolent government who keeps them safe and raises them because you can’t do it by yourself.

The memories we have of them, the joy that they bring, the wonder we see through their eyes, that fierce and boundless love we feel for them, a love that takes us out of ourselves and binds us to something larger, we know that’s what matters.

We know we’re always doing right when we’re taking care of them, when we’re teaching them well, when we’re showing acts of kindness. We don’t go wrong when we do that.

Such “kindness” was on full display this weekend when one of Sad Robot’s senior White House Staffers mocked the shooter’s mother who was shot four times in the head in her bed:

Even after death, the War On Women continues unabated.  Because when we teach people well when we are showing acts of kindness.  That’s when we’re at our best.  McLaughlin currently teaches at the Harvard Law Review.  I’m certain he’s teaching those kids what really matters.

System does not compute.  Must be a disconnect between Sad Robot and other units on the network. *bloop, bloop*

END OF TRANSMISSION

Crisis Officially Not Going To Waste

Calm your nerves everyone.  He of Trayvon’s Likeness is going to Connecticut to pretend like he’s a human who has emotions to pander to the gun control crowd.

President Barack Obama will travel to Newtown, Conn., on Sunday to meet with families of those killed in the shooting rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School and thank emergency workers who responded to the tragedy, the White House said Saturday.

“The President will also speak at an interfaith vigil for families of the victims as well as families” at 7 p.m., press secretary Jay Carney said in a statement.

*Pfew*.  For a second I thought it might have been a Christian vigil.

On Friday, an emotional Obama vowed to “take meaningful action, regardless of the politics,” to prevent future tragedies like the shooting massacre, which killed 26 people at the school, 20 of them children.

When Barry says “meaningful action, regardless of the politics” he means two things:  1) That he’s going to exploit this for all it’s worth to push his agenda and if you don’t get on board he’s going to order some crying mothers in front of the camera and call you a babykiller who is in the hip pocket of the NRA, and; 2)  Regardless of how Congress decides to act or not act he is going to pass an executive order and dare you to do something about it.

Daddy’s here to protect you everyone.  Sssshhhh.  It’s all going to be okay.  He didn’t know who his real father was but by god you are going to know that your children are actually his.  Or all of our children.  In the bosom of community-family well-organized.

For those easily offended by some god-hogging, intrafaith practices, be sure to hide your eyes when he drapes himself in a suit made out of the skin of dead children to push his agenda.

Or as his Attorney General said earlier today:

“As a nation I think we have to ask ourselves some hard questions. We gather too often to talk about these kinds of incidents. We need to discuss who we are as a nation, talk about the freedoms that we have, the rights that we have and how those might be used in a responsible way.

The balls on this guy.  And speaking of the Responsible Way(tm) that people who didn’t commit this crime need to ask themselves some hard questions about our Rights, this presumably means if you want to have unlimited access to guns and rifles you will need to start working for a Mexican drug cartel.

Because it’s about taking responsibility for things you didn’t do from a man who hasn’t taken responsibility for what he did do that resulted in the deaths of hundreds to thousands.

Again.  The balls I say.

 

Egyptian President Morsi Touts New “We Can’t Wait” Initiative

Fresh off a ringing endorsement by half of our country’s President, the dangerous idiot Barack Hussein Obama, Egyptian President Muhamed Morsi has crowned himself the next Mubarak.

Youths clashed with police in Cairo on Saturday as protests at new powers assumed by President Mohamed Mursi stretched into a second day, confronting Egypt with a crisis that has exposed the split between newly empowered Islamists and their opponents.

A handful of hardcore activists hurling rocks battled riot police in the streets near Tahrir Square, where several thousand protesters massed on Friday to demonstrate against a decree that has rallied opposition ranks against Mursi.

Following a day of violence in Cairo, Alexandria, Port Said and Suez, the smell of teargas hung over the square, the heart of the uprising that swept Hosni Mubarak from power in February 2011.

Meet the new boss.  With a slightly more violent Islamist streak than the old boss.

Not to worry you 47 percenters.  We won’t let these “unhelpful” distractions detain your thoughts for even the slightest moment from fighting to the death over flat screen tvs and discount yoga pants in honor of the birth of Jesus Christ – the renegade ahead-of-his-time union delegate who bestows paid time off from work every December 25th and supporter of socialized healthcare.

Please don’t ask me why He didn’t create it in those first seven days if He wanted us to have it.

In typical limp dick State Department fashion, Hillary Clinton meekly asks if Morsi needs a back rub so that he’ll remember the true goals of Obama’s Arab Spring :

The decisions and declarations announced on November 22 raise concerns for many Egyptians and for the international community. One of the aspirations of the revolution was to ensure that power would not be overly concentrated in the hands of any one person or institution. The current constitutional vacuum in Egypt can only be resolved by the adoption of a constitution that includes checks and balances, and respects fundamental freedoms, individual rights, and the rule of law consistent with Egypt’s international commitments. We call for calm and encourage all parties to work together and call for all Egyptians to resolve their differences over these important issues peacefully and through democratic dialogue.

Firm but tough?  More like flaccid and vacillating.  Or, “Smart Diplomacy” as they call it.

Morsi’s declaration that he is now and forever above question and the law “raises concern” and Hillary naturally treats the democratic protesters as being equally responsible for the unrest as a result.

If only Morsi were a Republican she could have sicced her lapdog media on him and call him a racist, homophobe or misogynist.  You know?  Things he actually is.  After all, where could Morsi have even gotten the idea that he could just elect to ignore those who check his power?

During a lengthy speech at the University of Yangon in Burma, President Obama signaled the important traits of American democracy, particularly his limited powers as president.

“As President, I cannot just impose my will on Congress — the Congress of the United States — even though sometimes I wish I could,” he stated. “The legislative branch has its own powers and its own prerogatives, and so they check my power and balance my power.”

Thank you for that 3rd grade Civics lesson, Mr. Helper as you embolden the Butchers of Burma and everywhere.

Of course, like many duplicitous, two-faced liars and tyrant sympathizers Obama says one thing in public and often does another at 5 o’clock on a Friday afternoon before a long weekend.

Hopefully, the Egyptian protesters will have more resolve than the pathetic excuses who now call themselves “American”.  They’ll be wiggling their fat asses into those yoga pants just fine in the next year when they’ve lost their jobs and the price of food skyrockets.

The rest of us should begin to plan according if you have not already done so.  We Can’t Wait ™ to begin preparing when we see smoke smoldering in the vicinity of the shithouse and Obama’s economic arsonists are fleeing the scene while blaming Bush for five years of their own policies.