Bizarro

#FreeTimmont4Eva

In less than 24 hours, Timothy Batts will be in front of Cowardly Judge James Hunter at a bond revocation hearing for failing a drug test last week.

And sure as a #BLM mob doesn’t care about the facts of a case, there are already close to 1,000 accomplices who have signed a new petition demanding that the Judge prostrate himself again before the mob and ignore the results of the drug test:

We stood by his side and supported him to the end of his release from jail, now because of a drug test! Which in my eyes of the law you have 30days to have your system clean before you report.With this being a high profile case he didn’t get that opportunity. Sumner county released him on a Saturday and made him report on a Monday,all this man was trying to do was deal with getting his daughter funeral arrangements done.When he had to hide his face due to news and social media taking pictures at the funeral home , church, and the burial without his consent. Media going out they way to turn this man into a bad father who is a good loving FATHER who has custody of his kids.Our family hurts everyday.Not once I have I seen anyone say “WHAT IF THIS WAS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? “Only God can judge the way we live on earth not the media.

*sigh*

Where to begin?

1) The court does not have to give you 30 days to get clean before drug testing you. “Your eyes” notwithstanding, Ms. Reid.

Your contention is that Batts had been using cocaine prior to or during the time around when he shot his daughter.

If so, the onus lied with him to tell his defense attorney. But that would have looked bad and his bail likely would not have been reduced to begin if they thought he was high at the time of the shooting.

2) That Batts had to hide his face in public. This a non sequitur. You have no expectation of privacy in public. No consent is needed. It’s a high profile case with international interest. Sorry.

The media won’t ignore Batts like they did with President Obama playing 196 holes of golf during major flooding in Louisiana. Since you copied him in on the petition.

3) Media Trying To Make Good Dad Look Bad. You mean the failed drug test, shooting his daughter, lying to police about being asleep while home video showed him talking on the phone with the gun 5 minutes before, trying to hide the weapon from the “accident”, family organizing a fundraiser at a hoochie mama nightclub, and the courtroom antics of his supporters didn’t do that?

4) Only God can judge us on Earth. Bzzt. Wrong. So you are unfamiliar with what a judge and jury are, I presume?

People get judged everyday. God may judge your soul for eternity but the criminal courts can judge your ass in the interim.

As long as we’re bringing religion into this – The Truth Can Set You Free!

It can also lock you up for 20 years.

If Batts had just come out at first and said it was an accident, this would not be the case it is. But he has lied and obfuscated every step of the way. Not one tear. Remorseless. The media cameras could have shown that too.

If the #FreeTimmont4Eva crowd hadn’t been so efficient in bonding him out, he might have gotten clean but his bail likely would not have been reduced either if he confessed to using cocaine recently.

So this is your fault too.

The comments at the petition are as predictable as they are race based. He’s a Saint and you need to take their word on it.

Exit Questions: Ever fired a gun before?

It has to be loaded, picked up, aimed, lined up, and pull the trigger to hit what you’re aiming at – unless you are shooting through a door or an object and can’t see.

How can you confuse a 4 and a half foot tall 11 year old in school clothes for an intruder?

It defies credulity.

How is he not suicidal?

This defense stinks on ice and the Judge said “no second chances” at the bond reduction hearing.

Definitely must see tv in Sumner County tomorrow.

Batts Fails Drug Test And $50,000 Goes Up In Smoke

Earlier this week, I made the following suggestion regarding what the prosecutors in the Batts case should do following the funeral for his daughter that he killed:

An exit note for prosecutors: Drug test Batts tomorrow and find him in violation of the terms of his bond.

$50k down the toilet.

From my lips to God’s ears.

HENDERSONVILLE, Tenn. – A father accused of shooting and killing his 11-year-old daughter has failed a drug test after bonding out of jail.

The District Attorney confirmed Friday Timothy Batts failed a drug test that he took on Monday. Batts tested positive for benzoylecgonie, the compound tested for to discover cocaine use.

There were numerous flower arrangements at the funeral talking about how Angel Timea was “flyin’ high”. Looks like she wasn’t the only one.

After the judge cut Batts’ $1 million bond in half to $500,000, he also instated multiple stipulations for when Batts bonded out. One of those was that Batts would be on supervised bond and would have to pass a drug test.

The judge had also said Batts could not pick up any new charges or he would be sent back to jail.

While this is encouraging and smart that the prosecutors sought the test, the same spineless Judge James Hunter that cut his bail in the first place is unlikely to have grown vertebrae in the week since he made himself a eunuch in front of racist mob waving a change.org petition.

Should the judge not extend another serving of black privilege to Mr. Batts, that $50,000 his bigoted, delusional supporters raised is burnt up like so much freebase.

I’ll make another prediction while I’m here. The lunatics at Mt. Zion Baptist and Batts’ pastors will demand that he be given yet another chance because how could he not be expected to get high before going to his daughter’s funeral and spending $50k to get out of jail. They are so personally invested at this point that he could kill all of his kids and they’d still be holding poetry slams and twerkfests at Limelight in his honor.

If he was already Cashville’s Greatest Dad after killing one kid, killing all of them should put him in the hall of fame.

There is nothing Christian about these people. Just racists hiding behind a bible and fleecing the desperate for their ducats.

He’s the untouchable St. Timothy after all. Executing God’s will one little girl at a time.

Hey Revvum Uncle Elder Starnes, is this “a tragedy or a transition” back to the penal colony? Scumbag.

Exit Thoughts: Have the police entertained the notion that Batts may have been on drugs at the time of the shooting? One simply does not start using cocaine out of nowhere much less have access like this at the ready.

What is certain is that all of his supporters either didn’t know about his drug use or did know and don’t care. For all the talk about how he started going to church and made a U-turn in his life, it seems it was more of a roundabout. And the only leaf he turned over was made out of cocoa.

All of this comes full circle on the motive of the shooting. Was it a paranoia induced accident or was there something that he didn’t want his daughter talking about.

And who was he on the phone talking to prior to the shooting?

The truth will come out. Unfortunately, Batts’ church folk will try to hinder the truth coming out as much as possible because they’ll look like fools, corrupt, or worse.

And one more parting shot for our local media. This is an international level story now. From my observations, only the Tennessean sent a reporter to cover the funeral. I’ve seen more coverage in the UK than at WKRN, WSMV, or the Nashville Scene.

You all are really giving Batts, his family, and his churches the kid gloves treatment here. Why? Is it the same reason why the judge cut his bail in half? Because that’s my guess. You don’t want to ask anyone any tough questions or make them answer anything about the facts that have refuted his flimsy alibi because he’s black and you’re scared.

The Curious Case of Timothy Batts

It’s not often that I am completely confounded when watching a court case unfold but, I must admit, the child murder of Timea Batts has me shaking my head with each passing day.

This is a supplement to the Dindu Nuffin post below. Timothy Batts, a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, shot and killed his 11 year old daughter moments after she walked into the front door of her home following her first day of school.

A controversy began when Batts lied to police about the circumstance of the murder and, while his daughter was dying, absconded to Nashville to hide the murder weapon which has since been recovered. He claimed he was startled out of sleep by what he thought was an intruder. However, home video taken from a security camera inside of the home showed him wide awake, talking on the phone, and walking around the house with the gun five minutes before the shooting.

Bail was set at $1,000,0000 for reckless homicide and a plethora of side charges given his prior history.

A mob of family members, acquaintances, and assorted bigots (or as they are usually referred to in a courtroom setting as “accomplices”) descended on a spineless and cowardly Sumner County judge who reduced the bail by half. The “victory” for the bigoted mob prompted an embarrassing courtrroom outburst like it was a sporting event – completely unmoored by the fact that an 11 year old black girl who should have been finishing her first week of school was having formaldehyde pumped through her body and needing to pick out a nice dress for her funeral.

It took less than a day for Batts’ accomplices, excuse making cultists from Long Hollow Baptist Church, and various internet racists to crowdsource the $50,000 and post bond.

What happened upon Batts’ release shocked me for the second time in a week. So high are the bigots in Batts’ circle of friends and acquaintances on the notion that they have somehow stuck it to Whitey, that they thought it was a good idea to livestream his release from jail on Facebook.

Cel-e-brate good times, come on!

In the link above, a jubilant Batts can be seen laughing and, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say, clowning around with his supporters.

A flyer was also being circulated for a fundraiser at the hoodrat nightclub Limelight with a picture of stoic Batts and ghostly photoshopped Timea emblazoned with the title “Ca$hville’s Greatest Dad Appreciation” for this coming Thursday night (Aug. 18th).

You cannot make this shit up. The Runners Up to the Ca$hville’s Greatest Dad contest are literally everyone else who didn’t murder their kids last week.

Call me old fashioned. If I had just killed my daughter, I’d probably be borderline suicidal. I would have been on suicide watch in jail. If under threat of life in prison or the death penalty, at the very least I would be somber and likely in tears in the courtroom or in front if cameras.

Batts is cold-blooded and remorseless by all observations.

The Timea Batts funeral is today. Hopefully, the morticians and undertakers will specify that there is to be no video of the ceremonial pouring of Hennessy over her corpse or blowing of blunt smoke in her face as is often associated with tribal custom. Don’t judge.

That’s the jury’s job.

An exit note for prosecutors: Drug test Batts tomorrow and find him in violation of the terms of his bond.

$50k down the toilet.

In closing, Long Hollow Baptist Church is a den of vipers and the congregation fills the offering plates with tithings to Satan.

Naturally, the dipshits at the Nashville Scene think this is about lack of gun control and are taking a stance that this entire incident was an accident on blind faith alone without any investigation or consideration of the numerous and damning holes in Batts’ alibi or behavior immediately afterwards. Or, that he should have still been in jail following a 2012 attempted murder. Because Journalism ™.

Quiz: How Much Didn’t Can A Dindu Do If A Dindu, Dindu Nuffin?

Update in the Batts case, here, here, and here.

Why are these people cheering?

a) Their cousin was just selected inmate of the month at Riverbend Maximum Security Prison

b) The long awaited return of Popeye’s Beer Can Rip’N Chicken.

c) A man who shot and killed his 11 year old daughter after she returned from her first day of school and lied to police about it got his bond reduced from $1,000,000.00 to $500k after a spineless judge bowed to the whim of a mob armed with a change.org online petition.

The answer is, of course, “c”.

A man shot his 11 year old daughter as she walked in the door from her first day of school, lied about how it happened, tampered with evidence, and then thousands of people sign a petition and hundreds show up to court and cheer like they just won the Pick 3 because they don’t want him to face justice because he shares their skin color.

There is no other way to look at this one. And I’m sorry to say that I tried to find one that would pass the smell test. There aren’t any. He was wide awake and caught on home security video pacing around his house with a gun when he claimed he was startled from a sound sleep by an intruder.

The change.org petition was started by the appropriately named “Greedy Gettinoff”.

Even if it was an accident, how is this behavior in the courtroom even remotely appropriate given that an 11 year old girl is lying in the morgue but you’re happy you think babydaddy is escaping Whitey’s justice system?

The petition continues, “He loved his three daughters dearly and was a great father figure in her life. We ask that he is able to attend his daughter funeral service and have a lowered bond. His bond is 1 million dollars and that’s insane for a accident we need Timothy batts home for his grieving family.”

The petition writers insist that Batts “would never intentionally hurt his family” and ask for signatures to advocate “for the equality of punishments being handed out by our judicial system. Same crimes are being committed but blacks are handed 20% longer jail sentences then whites.”

“Equality of punishments”? He was just arrested two days ago. He won’t even go before a jury for probably at least 6 months to a year. They ought to be ashamed for throwing the race card in on this but they are incapable of shame.

So remember that li’l churrens. When Daddy, Uncle, or Mama’s Boyfriend is playing with illegal handgun even though he’s a convicted felon, if he shoots you with it then the lead pastor at Long Hollow Baptist Church is going to stand in front of the cameras, God, and everybody to make sure he doesn’t get punished for it.

Disgusting behavior by all of these people. Disgusting and surprising for once.

If Little Timea had yelled “hands up, don’t shoot” would you all be torn between looting the Dollar General Store or demanding that the police arrest the father because Black Lives Matter?

Your cheers have told us that they don’t matter. Not even to you.

Perot Again

It’s deja vu all over again. Don’t anyone schedule any speeches to the NAACP in the next two months. A billionaire populist upends the RNC stuffed shirts but he wants to grind personal axes rather than play the politics that it takes to win.

And on the cheap too!

Barack Obama paid off Hillary’s campaign debt to bring her into the fold so she wouldn’t be fragging him through the 2008 general election.

It’s “polls, polls, polls” until the polls turn against you and now the system is rigged.

This is a fucking nightmare. Like Groundhog’s Day. and I hate to say I told you so but you never listened anyway.

This campaign is in such disarray you’d think Ed Rollins was running it.

Start prepping The Downfall videos. Georgia??? Whaddaya mean we lost Georgia?!? Except Trump and Eva will just abscond back into luxury.

First time with Clinton was a farce, this time will be a tragedy.

Update: I honestly thought about taking this post down. That was, until I saw a “Breitbart Exclusive”!!!! *Screeeeech* Stop the Presses. STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

Texas Senator Ted Cruz visited the Laredo Sector of the U.S.-Mexico border and did not contact Border Patrol agents to discuss their needs.
According to the agents, Senator Cruz has yet to contact them through his freshman term in the U.S. Senate. The Border Patrol agents reached out to Breitbart Texas and rebuked the Senator for what they say is a pattern of having tough rhetoric while taking little action.

That’s right. Trump’s house organ – Breitbart News – is running breaking stories today – August 11th, 2016 – almost four months after Ted Cruz suspended his presidential campaign (May 4th, 2016) that the Border Patrol union that endorsed Trump seven months before on March 30th, 2016 is still mad at him. Complete with ugly blurred photo. Even though they praise John McCain in the story for his commitment to border security.

Baffling. But then I remembered, Trump just endorsed McCain a few days ago so the marching orders must have went out.

My definition of Breaking News is a little different than Not-So Breitbart’s. Much like my definition of what a winning campaign looks like.

Trump and his allies are still fighting a fight that was won – unfairly -and letting Hillary off scot free. Which may have been the goal all along.

Foreign Policy For Faggots

Phillipines President Rodrigo Duterte is a murderous lunatic and a tyrant in the making.

And if anyone can define the Obama Foreign Policy better than “middle fingers for friends and tugjobs for tyrants” I would like to hear it.

Knowing this, it sounds like our Ambassador to the future genocidal island nation had his homo-vertures rebuffed in a very public fashion:

Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte called the US ambassador to his country a “gay son of a bitch” in a speech, prompting US diplomats to raise the issue with their Filipino counterparts in Washington.

Perhaps my ideas on diplomacy differ from the prevailing wisdom. I thought Ambassadors were to be artful emissaries of US interests abroad and not antagonizing, affirmative action SJWs. That or Pay-To-Play campaign contributors.

But the reaction from Secretariat of State Lurch McKetchup has been as swift as a wire transfer:

“Kerry came here, we had a meal, and he left me and Delfin $33 million. I said, OK, maybe we should offend them more, so this crazy will just give more money, just to make peace. So, it’s all about the money.”

No. It’s all about wasting our money. They think everyone is just looking for a bribe because they are.

Prepare for Comrade Kerry to mischaracterize this entire exchange and spin it as some great leap forward in 3, 2, 1….

“We have asked the Philippines chargé to come into the State Department to clarify those remarks,” she said at a briefing.

Seems pretty clear to me. The gay son of a bitch has an idiot boss with more money than sense.

You need that notarized and apostilled ya dumb cunt?

Yea We Caught AIDS From Brazilian Sex Slaves Three Days Ago

…While representing the United States at the Olympics. Wanna fight about it?

Carmelo Anthony said his U.S. men’s basketball teammates need to accept responsibility and move on after reports that three players visited a legal brothel in Rio de Janeiro.

“What’s done is done. We have time off and guys did what they did. We accept those responsibilities and move on,” said Anthony, a four-time Olympian and the elder statesmen of the team.

I have no problem with legalized prostitution. What happens between a willing buyer and a willing seller is between them. Well, between them and their babys’ mamas back home who they’re bringing back a fatal case of Brazilian SuperAIDS as a souvenir.

Hey, it’s worked out great for Magic Johnson.

What part of “accepting responsibility” is continuing to lie about how you ended up at one of the most famous whorehouses in Copacabana and facing no repercussions, such as being sent home and stripped of any Olympic prestige, for getting serviced by possible sex slaves while representing us?

Who do they think they are? The Secret Serviced, I mean, Service???

This is why nobody gives a shit about the Olympics. They have no standards. Carmelo and company went on to trounce those little Chinese ballers 119-62.

Apparently, that’s all that matters.

Zoe For Prison #Impeach Zoe, #ZoeForPrison

The lawlessness of Ayatollah Obama’s era may be coming to an end but there’s always another one waiting to take his place. In fact, anyone who has passed by a YMCA has probably seen it:

Zoe For President: New Candidate Announces Her Run for Commander in Chief In 2064

YMCA of the USA organizes Zoe for President, symbolizing the potential the Y sees in all children

CHICAGO, Feb. 25, 2016 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — Today, YMCA of the USA (Y-USA) launched Zoe for President, a campaign to elect a one-year-old girl as our nation’s Commander in Chief…in 2064. The campaign highlights the potential the Y sees in all kids to grow up and change the world if they’re nurtured properly and supported along the way. Through Y initiatives like childcare, academic enrichment, mentorship, college prep, job training, and more, kids have the opportunities to succeed, grow, and one day, maybe even become president. The Y aims to impart the values of what it means to achieve—how hard work, determination, perseverance and character can drive someone to success beyond what they thought possible.

We don’t need any more unqualified community organizers coming out of Chicago promising tomorrow’s red diapershitting Leftists easy answers, womb to tomb government largesse, and sentencing the next generation to sharecrop their debt slavery on America’s college plantations.

“While Zoe for President is a breath of fresh air during a heated campaign cycle, every child, regardless of background, needs support and guidance to reach their full potential,” said Kevin Washington, president and CEO, YMCA of the USA. “Our campaign will address actual issues that America’s communities are faced with each day like access to early childhood education, safe space, meal assistance, and the Y’s role in solving the challenges head on.”

The FEC needs to put a stop to this madness immediately. The YMCA is a “non-profit” and this blatant electioneering is a violation of current campaign finance law sas well as issue advocacy PACs that are not allowed to endorse a particular candidate.

None of this speaks to the character of Zoe herself or even if she knows if she’s a he or she or a it yet. They’ve never held a job in the private sector. Never signed a paycheck or hired an employee! Always looking for a hand out.

And a recent National Enquirer story quoted Roger Stone as saying that Zoe does, in fact, have cooties and sleeps around on the kindergarten mats of both boys and girls in zher homeroom. I’m not saying I have any information that that is true. We’re just asking questions and the American people need to know the answer if you’re going to be trusted with the highest high chair in the world.

The only button she’s qualified to put her finger on is on a Bumpy Ball.

It’s all fun and games until the YMCA and the YWCA merge into the YLBTGQCA and demand that our tax dollars fund unisex bathrooms and that bakers will have to provide gluten free granola bars to same sex intramural volleyball teams against their religion.

Zoe has been, is, and will forever be unfit for command. When the 3 AM phone call comes, she will have already been asleep for 9 hours and will probably wet the bed.

WTW Weekend: Great Moments In White Trash Advertising

Picasso famously said that lesser artists borrow and that great artists steal. As I pulled up behind a company van in morning traffic, I was reminded of that. So what to make of this local company’s logo?

There’s something so familiar about that. I can’t quite put my fing..oh, wait:

It’s a blued up version of the Enron symbol:

Nothing says “trust us” with your electrical needs like shamelessly stealing the logo of a disgraced energy concern that was once the largest bankruptcy in the history of the country and led to one of the most destructive pieces of accounting legislation (Sarbanes-Oxley) in history.

But fret not. This isn’t the second coming of Enron, it’s Enron squared!

Next up, Manson Family Brand Pork Sausages. Every morning that starts off with “Death to the Pigs” is going to be a great day. #BLM approved.

Lady Vols Not Ladyboys

I saw this riding on a car’s bumper the other day and had to do a double-take.

From the Department of Unfortunate Cross-branding:


I knew UT had a recent brouhaha over wanting to fine, expel, and genitally mutilate students before sending them to re-education camps for not calling he/she/its by some new pronouns they invented five minutes ago but this?

It’s too insidious. They’re the Lady Vols not the Ladyboys. Cameltoes not camel’s nose.

We don’t want to know that your Ford F-150 secretly wants to be a convertible Mazda Miata or that your automatic Audi TT would rather be a stick. Maybe you get off on teasing those cisgenders at Pep Boys with your shocks and struts. But the only one who should know if you’ve blown a tranny should be your mechanic.

Come on, people. Pick a side.

Trumptards Face The Puppy Blender

It’s been kind of entertaining watching Insty veer to the right during the Obama years.

He’s sat out a lot of the feuding following his addition of a comments section especially during the Rise Of Trump. But this morning’s troll of Trump’s statement criticizing the US on civil rights as an excuse to not condemn Erdogan’s violent purge of the remaining secularists in Turkey is sure to produce 300 comments:

Well, it’s a standard lefty talking point — those tend to come, ultimately, from Soviet propagandists whether the talkers know it or not, and usually they don’t — and it’s one that’s been echoed by President Obama with his reminders to Americans not to get on our high horse (the Crusades, you know) and his disparaging of American exceptionalism.

The big news here is that a Republican candidate is saying it, but then, Trump spent most of his life as a Democrat.

He’s not just been a lifelong Democrat. He’s repeating Soviet propagandist talking points Democrats have been using for years. Perhaps some salt on that wound will help?

It’s ok though because Wall ™ and America’s going to be great again or something.

Reynolds isn’t wrong. It’s just odd that he’s deciding to take this tack so soon after the RNC convention given how many of his readers and commenters are still rolling around in the post-coital Cleveland cuddle puddle.

Cold Blooded Lizard Behaves As Expected

Whether it’s American families with relatives or children killed by illegal aliens or public assassinations of cops by his BLM supporters, you can always count on a cold-blooded and wholly inappropriate reaction from the Ayatollah.

The opposite was true of Bubba Clinton. He felt everyone’s pain so often that the country needed a restraining order. Mainly because that feeling always ended up with one of his hands on your upper thigh and the other one rubbing your back. The Consoler-In-Chief.

Well, we’ve moved to the other end of the spectrum a while back:

As news reports of a gun massacre in Munich crossed the Atlantic Ocean on Friday, the President of the United States was cracking jokes.

Barack Obama delivered a brief update to reporters at the White House about the still-unfolding shooting rampage that left the German city on lockdown.

Eight are confirmed dead, and 10 injured.

The president was speaking to law enforcement agents at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, adjacent to the White House. But as cameras rolled on the somber moment, Obama grinned and chuckled – and drew laughs from his audience – about his elder daughter Malia leaving the nest and heading for college.

If only those killed had been robbing a home, attacking a police officer, or a violent felon in the commission of a crime, Obama could dig down deep to come up with a statement about the sanctity of all life. But, once again, we have his fellows Muzzloids killing white people so it’s all grins and chuckles about how his spoiled brats are running off to join the top .0001% in a private college.

Wait till Malicious and Shasta start bringing white boys home. The smiles are going to get wiped away faster than the stories of the Orlando Pulse Shooting and Dallas Obama Cop Murders did off the front page. It’s been a week, ya know. We get Sandy Hook anniversary celebrations but these two Muzzloid terrorist events killed far more this month and aren’t even on the radar anymore.

Ooops…Spoke Too Soon

Update: The Mike Pence – Trump Hostage Video

I guess a cocksucker’s gotta cocksuck.

Turns out, I spoke too soon about being able to support Trump:

Trump said this morning that Cruz will “come and endorse over the next little while. It’s because he has no choice. But I don’t want his endorsement. What difference does it make?”

“Ted, just stay home, relax, enjoy yourself,” Trump said to laughter from the crowd of supporters and convention volunteers.

That would be delivered in his patented Smarmy Fuckface ™.

So, I’m glad we’re clear on this. I’ve gotten tired of Trumptards claiming that if you show inadequate enthusiasm for Hillary’s former benefactor that you are, in fact, supporting Hillary.

Now, I’m off the hook. My support and my vote is neither needed or wanted. Nor would it be accepted were it to be offered.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe all of those Bernie Bros, and Diamonds & Silks, and Progressive Peter Puffers are so disaffected that they are switching sides.

Either way, I’m free to kickback and watch this shithouse go up in flames.

Sweet Meteor of Death, deliver me from this twirling mudball of fucking retards.

It Starts With An “F” and Ends With a “t”

Always addressing his most urgent presidential duties, Ayatollah Obama The Pious counsels his vaginally afflicted constituents with another round of confusing doublespeak:

Fresh off endorsing a woman to succeed him in the Oval Office, President Barack Obama stood before 5,000 convened as part of a White House summit on women and delivered his most robustly feminist speech yet.

“I may be a little grayer than I was eight years ago,” Obama told the advocates. “But this is what a feminist looks like.”

It may start with an “f” and end with a “t” but “feminist” was not the first word that came to mind as to what you look like, oh, Mad(emoiselle) Mullah.

The Shame Sticks To You Like ____________

We’ll file this Saturday afternoon (April 16, 2016) interview with Monica Lewinsky under battlestation prep. They tried to rehabilitate Lewinsky last year with some Ted Talks about how she was the first victim of internet bullying which is a newsflash to anyone who had ever engaged in a discussion with anyone else on the internet prior to 1998.

In comes the Guardian to try and wipe off Lewinsky’s stain from the front of Hillary’s Mao Tse Tung housecoats:

“That people could read the transcripts was horrific enough,” Lewinsky said in her TED talk, “but a few weeks later the audio tapes [the telephone calls Tripp secretly recorded] were aired on TV, and significant portions made available online. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable.”

“I felt like every layer of my skin and my identity were ripped off of me in ’98 and ’99,” she tells me now. “It’s a skinning of sorts. You feel incredibly raw and frightened. But I also feel like the shame sticks to you like tar.”

So the publicity of the Tripp transcripts coming out installed an, heretofore, unknown feeling of “shame” into Ms. Lewinsky that was not present as she was having sex with a married man who happened was faceblasting her with his presidential payload while on her knees upon the eagle carpeting of the Oval Office.

The transcript coming out is when the shame happened. Everything up to that point was enough to make a Daddy proud.

Lewinsky talking about how shame “sticks” to you could easily fill a library of regrettable similes. All of the abuse she’s had to swallow because she didn’t swallow. But she controls the narrative now, America.

This rehabilitated cumdumpster is going to recycle your insults and sort them into color coded baskets to be harnessed for some useful purpose. Please wash your milky, white tar shame out of any containers before tossing them at the trash can of her life.

She’s developed an entire line of text message “anti-bullying” hug emojis for Vodafone. I am totally not shitting you.

It ends with her and the Guardian writer watching Trump on tv talking about how he’s going to drag her into the campaign as “fair game” to attack Clinton. Which it is.

She’s mad at Trump. The “unmistakable yellow blob” as he’s referred to in the anti-bullying / anti-shaming piece. Will he get an emoji? She’s not mad at Hillary who referred to her as a deranged stalker knowing full well that it was her hubby stalking the husky aisle at Lane Bryant for off-the-rack hoe bags.

But again. This is just prep work for Hillary. She took a round to the chest for Bill and 20 years later she’s going to take another one on the chin for her boyfriend’s wife.

Professional Outsider Seeks Career Insider

Pretzel logic from the carnival barker:

Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump said he is “95 percent” sure he would pick a veteran politician for vice president if elected.

He said he would choose “somebody that can walk into the Senate and who’s been friendly with these guys for 25 years, and people for 25 years and can get things done” in an extensive interview with The Washington Post published Saturday.

How does one stay in Congress for 25 years and not be an establishment sell-out? Or the scumbag lobbyist who pays people off for quid pro quos? I’ve been told that Ted Cruz had been there for half a term and that all-of-the-sudden it’s his GOPe ™! If there’s one thing we don’t want it’s that “insider” Cruz who no one likes.

We want that for real insider who can harness his legendary compromising skills that got us 19 trillion dollars in debt in the first place.

Who would this be? Gingrich? Sessions? Kasich? Grassley? DeMint? DeLay? Hatch? Boehner? McConnell? Barbour? Alexander?

Who are these great, elder statesmen of the Republican Party with 25 year, highly overrated track records for “getting things done”? If they’re older than Trump, they’d leave no succession plan in place in the event he won.

Because I can’t think of one that is worth a damn and would shore up skeptical conservatives or not bring on more baggage. None from that list strike me as a game changer.

No former Congressmen turned Governors would seem to fit that description. Pence, Brownback, Snyder, Hutchison, Scott.

Obviously, this would be guided by Black, Manafort, Stone, and Kelly at this point. So someone on their roster that they’ve been lobbying during the last two decades. A known quantity.

Unfortunately, that would be everybody from Bush loyalists, to John McCain, to Jack Abramaoff, to a number of African dictatorships, and a slew of other questionable clients.

And the intellectually dishonest can continue to pretend that Roger Stone wasn’t working for Trump when he was peddling smut on Cruz to the Enquirer when Stone’s own firm was hired as Trump’s delegate counter a week later.

I’d say Trump drafting some old Republican bull to work out some magical deal would be a non-starter for supporters so wed to being an outsider but cults of personality don’t require intellectual consistency.

In other words, what a great idea! This all presupposes that he’s talking about bringing on a Republican as a VP.

It’s Called Mempiss For A Reason

So I guess Kellogg’s can change their Frosted Flakes mascot to Tony The Tinkler:

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A video has surfaced on the Internet of a man urinating on a Kellogg assembly line.

It happened in 2014 at a facility in Memphis, Kellogg spokesperson Kris Charles said.

The video was uploaded by worldstarhiphop.com. Its content is highly graphic.

Kellogg is looking into the incident, and the FDA has started a criminal investigation.

The video was shot during the same time the company and the workers union fell into a nasty labor dispute and those employees were locked out.

At least it wasn’t the pipelayers union.

But if you’ve eaten Rice Krispies in the last year and a half, chances are they were impacted by the pouty union’s tinkle tirade. Not that they’re going to have jobs anyway when that plant closes and they’re put out on a permanent bathroom break.

Thanks again, Mempiss for living down to your reputation and up to your name.

Islam Has Been Woven Into The Fabric of Football Since The Beginning

Can we not have a moment’s peace? Is it not enough that North Korea launched a nuclear capable ICBM in advance of the Super Bowl further demonstrating the unmitigated lunacy of the Iranian Nuke deal?

The answer, yet again, is no (via Newsbusters):

Barack Obama will once again be inserting himself into the Super Bowl on Sunday. This time, CBS has chosen Gayle King, a donor, supporter and family friend to Mr. and Mrs. Obama. Considering that King has partied at the White House, viewers of the pre-game show shouldn’t expect tough questions from the CBS This Morning co-host.

Obama has done an interview before each Super Bowl since 2009 and many of them have included softballs. But none of the previous journalists have been such ardent and open supporters of the President and Mrs. Obama.

Priorities. Many of us would like to finally found out what his favorite kind of ice cream is or what he thinks makes him so great.

I’d like to ask Gayle how many licks it takes to get to the center of Oprah’s twat just for scientific purposes. That question would certainly have more meat to it than whatever ego-stroking, legacy writing hagiography that King plans on donating through the most prized broadcast real estate.

Perhaps we’ll be treated to the telegraphed “Looking back, what’s your greatest disappointment?” softball that invariably ends in “I wish we could have worked together more” as if he did not play the leading part in creating the acrid atmosphere for eight years or “I could have tried harder to explain myself to you morons”.

Regardless, we can’t have a Super Bowl without Mooch the Beard and the Big Me, Me, Me, I, I, I, Mine, Mine, Mine taking a big dump on the country before kickoff.

Now put down those hot wings and pick up some kale chips. You’e got a lot of Let’s Movin’ to do. Gather ’round little churrens so we can find out about how Muslims were woven into the fabric of American football since the very beginning. That “pigskins” were banned after Muslims invented vulcanized rubber.

When Hank Stram and Vince Lombardi would quote inspirational suras before each game and when the adhans were broadcast from the minarets of the Los Angeles Coliseum.

WTF, Man?

Is it a contest to see who can outdo Debbie Wasserman-Schultz for the most f****d up haircut before you go on tv these days?

For shit’s sake.

Update: Talk about bad timing. I didn’t mean to hit Trey Gowdy up about his fucked up haircut during the worst week of his life and all. I’m guessing the haircut was the start of his worst week ever?

John Boehner’s Kotex Caucus

There are only a couple of scenarios where a man is allowed to cry in public.

A funeral, your dog dying, while singing the national anthem, and the like.

But crying to a reporter over someone bowing out of a political race? These aren’t grown men as much as they are grown mensies.

This is what killed Glenn Beck’s career. Blubbering like a mentally unhinged basket case over something trivial.

In response to the Establishment GOP’s snail trail of tears on the path to irrelevancy, I invite everyone to send a box of tampons to Peter King, Charles Dent, Boehner, and the rest of these pussies.

If we’re going to stop the bleeding in this Republican Civil War, the RINO establishment is going to need a lot more bandages to plug their specific wound. Period.