Jimmy Carter Has / Is Cancer

Breakout the sob sisters. Jimmeh Peanut has cancer.

I’m sorry that a lot of people are just hearing about this since, to the casual observer, one could see that Carter has actually been a cancer on this country for over 40 years.

Don’t believe me? Sit through this speech and you’ll beg for a death panel.

In 2008, he metastasized into Hodgkins LymphObama and our nation has been in hospice ever since.

Why pick on the best thing to come out of Georgia since Wayne Williams?

I dunno. Maybe because the LA Times is rather cavalier in telling Carly Fiorina that she should quit mentioning that she beat breast cancer in her campaign.

Very kind of the LA Times’ technically male author to let Fiorina know that she should best STFU about that little tidbit of her life and keep it out of the public eye. We’d hate for anyone running for office to exploit such a tale of perserverance.

It’s not gold digging Wendy Davis slinging her aborted babies by the feet and smashing their skulls on a porcelain sink and pimping pink sneakers to energize the vag vote but beating cancer pales in comparison next to the severe cramping of Wendy Davis’s social life from unwanted pregnancies.

Or, as opposed to someone who rose to the presidency based on two autobiographies before age 45 based mainly on growing up without his drunken, absent daddy to savagely beat him. Boo hoo.

Suggested future Times stories…Dreams of My Father – Shut the Fuck Up already you whining Man Pussy. Nobody cares.

Tennessee Escapes The Tyranny of Good Intentions

Insure Tennessee dies a natural death in the Tennessee state legislature.

Tennessee will not expand health benefits to hundreds of thousands of low-income residents, with state senators rebuking Gov. Bill Haslam’s controversial health care proposal.

The Senate Health and Welfare Committee voted against passing Haslam’s Insure Tennessee. Only four of the 11 committee members voted in favor of the plan.

The vote comes minutes after House Speaker Beth Harwell said she doesn’t think there are enough votes in the House to pass the plan.

“I don’t think I have the support,” Harwell told reporters as she walked away from the House chamber Wednesday.

Sweet freedom. Now Governor Haslam can go back to working with Mayor Bloomberg on taking our guns away.

Taking Somebody Else’s Medicine

By about 10:30 am yesterday morning, everyone and their brother knew that SCOTUS had upheld Commie Health Care. The only surprising part was that Kennedy was on the correct side of the case while President Junior’s boy Roberts flipped to the Obamessiah.

Why did Roberts flip? Was it because he’s such a principled custodian of the court?

Did he change his mind at the last minute because he’s wishy-washy like good ol’ Charlie Brown (you know you see the resemblance as well as I do).

Was it his Epilepsy medication? Have the seizures left him left? That would actually explain a good deal about what passes as leftist thought processes.

Did someone have something on him that he didn’t want out there?

Would we have been better off not single-handedly driving Harriet Miers over the cliff?

It matters not. What we have in Commie Health Care is the direct result of an electorate who is too fat, stupid, lazy and worthless to educate themselves on the criminals that they vote for and the principles that created a country that would allow them to become fat, stupid, lazy and worthless without consequence.

Will the GOP capitalize on this softball of an election? Running on the economy alone is a winner, but throw in Commie Health Care and the Obamessiah’s atrocious record and we should be able to elect a half-eaten bag of peanuts over this garbage can of a POTUS.

But we’re talking about the GOP. You know, the party that is so frightened of Nancy Pelosi that they wet themselves at the sound of her name. You know, the party that has a Speaker of the House that bursts into tears at the drop of a hat. You know, the party without a single set of nads between them.

If you came here for reassurance that our brave legislators will do the right thing and overturn this stool sample of a statute, you might want to stick to those GOP-cheerleader blogs. I’ve seen too much of the Alexanders, McCains, Boehers, Cantors, Browns, Snowes and Hatches to think that they have the stones to do anything resembling pulling their heads from their asses.

But we can always hope™.

Paul McCartney Serenades Toot Braunstein

Yea, yea, yea…he played “Michelle” but  “Fat Bottomed Girls” are what make the world go-round.  And around she goes:

Now lecture me about needing some exercise.

Rumpshaker wants to take my salt shaker.  Think Globally, Don’t Be Globally, oh, Thunder Thigh Master.

When’s Malia gonna ask her Daddy to plug that piehole?

Now, who’s lecturing who about needing to exercise?

URGENT: Senate To Vote Saturday (Today!) On Healthcare Takeover

Your scumbag Senators are poised to vote on this shit sandwich tomorrow night. If they get cloture, they’ll get their bill and you’ll lose many of your basic, fundamental freedoms.


Find your Senators here.

Enjoy the full list of freedom-robbing tax hikes and mandates here.

The corruptocrats have already bought of Mary Landrieu for $100 million. There’s plenty more where that came from, so there’s no time to waste.



The lines are pretty jammed up but I got through to Bob Corker’s office and they say he will vote against cloture and against the bill. If you can’t get through to the DC office, call their local offices in your area.

Contact information for Tennessee Senators is below the jump.


Even Paglia Gets It?

If you can make it through the first vomitous paragraphs where Camille can’t stop praising Pelosi for having a vagina, she puts together some of the best descriptions of the healthcare nightmare bill I’ve seen yet.

But this rigid, intrusive and grotesquely expensive bill is a nightmare. Holy Hygeia, why can’t my fellow Democrats see that the creation of another huge, inefficient federal bureaucracy would slow and disrupt the delivery of basic healthcare and subject us all to a labyrinthine mass of incompetent, unaccountable petty dictators?

Petty dictators is about all we have left in Washington now, Camille. Nice of you to notice.

A second issue souring me on this bill is its failure to include the most common-sense clause to increase competition and drive down prices: portability of health insurance across state lines. What covert business interests is the Democratic leadership protecting by stopping consumers from shopping for policies nationwide? Finally, no healthcare bill is worth the paper it’s printed on when the authors ostentatiously exempt themselves from its rules. The solipsistic members of Congress want us peons to be ground up in the communal machine, while they themselves gambol on in the flowering meadow of their own lavish federal health plan. Hypocrites!

Ironically (or perhaps not so), purchasing insurance across state lines is one of the reforms urged in the GOP health plan. I wonder if that makes Camille feel icky.

And why are we even considering so gargantuan a social experiment when the nation is struggling to emerge from a severe recession? It’s as if liberals are starry-eyed dreamers lacking the elementary ability to project or predict the chaotic and destabilizing practical consequences of their utopian fantasies. Republicans, on the other hand, have basically sat on their asses about healthcare reform for the past 20 years and have shown little interest in crafting legislative solutions to social inequities. The usual GOP floater about private medical savings accounts is a crock — something that, given the astronomical costs of major medical crises, would be utterly unworkable for families of even average household income.

International models of socialized medicine have been developed for nations and populations that are usually vastly smaller than our own. There are positives and negatives in their system as in ours. So what’s the point of this trade? The plight of the uninsured (whose number is far less than claimed) should be directly addressed without co-opting and destroying the entire U.S. medical infrastructure. Limited, targeted reforms can ban gouging and unfair practices and can streamline communications now wastefully encumbered by red tape. But insurance companies and the pharmaceutical industry are not the sole cause of mounting healthcare costs, and constantly demonizing them is a demagogic evasion.

How dare anyone claim humane aims for this bill anyhow when its funding is based on a slashing of Medicare by over $400 billion? The brutal abandonment of the elderly here is unconscionable. One would have expected a Democratic proposal to include an expansion of Medicare, certainly not its gutting. The passive acquiescence of liberal commentators to this vandalism simply demonstrates how partisan ideology ultimately desensitizes the mind.

Again, she pretty much gets it right, which makes me feel icky. While much of the rest of her column is the usual bilge, you must give credit where it’s due.

Fistful of Fetus – A Modest Proposal

If we can’t make some guy over there (who never screwed you) pay for some dirty whore’s abortion then it’s like the worst thing in the history of this country – evah!

How about a trade?  The Commission On Hooking Up helps needy sluts find a guy willing to sport their abortion in exchange for something they’re already down with.  You still get to kill your kids and the taxpayer doesn’t have to pick up the tab.  Like E-Harmony with a body count.

Given the current administration’s tendency to inflate job numbers, I imagine this would save us more money than the healthcare bill and cut down on office shootings at the same time.  In this economy, you can never be too careful.

Think outside of the box, people.  Because thinking with your box is what got us here.

Operation Housecall

For those of you who can make it to DC tomorrow, you definitely should. Here is some info on the rally from Tea Party PatriotsMichele Bachmann is leading the battle against this “crown jewel of socialism.” Mark Levin will be there with Michele, among others.

If you can’t make it you should at the very least call/email/fax/visit your congressmen and senators and let them know that you oppose their little takeover of the Healthcare industry and that you will be dropping some election-day elbows if they don’t check the right box on this one. You can also participate in Operation Housecall and help some of those middle-of-the-road blue dogs who are on the fence.

Melt the phones. It worked for President Junior & John McShame’s Amnesty bill, it can work now.

My friend Leo sent me a little poem that he wrote and sent to the House Head Hag Nancy Pelosi… He agreed to let me share it with you.

Dear Nancy:

Free your mind
Unless you
Can No longer
Kick the habit

You stretched your face
Out and now it looks funny
Unless you put on lots of makeup.