Illegal Immigration

I’d Like A Large Soda – Easy on the ICE

Quote of the Day (National People’s Radio):

On Feb. 24, when armed immigration agents raided Yamato Engine Specialists, a small company that rebuilds car engines in Bellingham, Wash., 28 workers were led away in handcuffs. They were illegal immigrants, most of them from Mexico, and they faced quick deportation. It was the first big immigration raid under President Obama, and it came as a shock to many in the Hispanic community.

On Spanish radio, shock quickly turned to anger. “Let’s give the Obama administration one month to stop all this,” warns one caller, “otherwise, the Democratic Party and Obama will suffer the consequences!”

But the White House seemed almost as surprised by the raid as the workers. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano told Congress she hadn’t known about the raid ahead of time, and she ordered a review of it.

Now, one month later, 27 of the 28 workers have been released. One of them — Luis Ramos — says he can’t get over how nice the immigration agents have become.

“They treat us wonderfully,” Ramos says. “They even say, ‘do you want a soda from the machine?'”

The government is offering them temporary work permits, and immigration agents are even giving the Mexicans free rides to Seattle to file the paperwork. Now the anger at Obama is coming from the other side of the immigration debate.

This may be as simple as a mistake from the name tag factory.  Which can happen if the person using the machine can’t read English.

Instead of receiving the Homeland Security Secretary badge, Janet Napilatino received the Amnesty Czar tag.  These things will happen.

I’m still confused though.  If you really want to make things right then let’s not half-step the Amnesty issue.  For every employer determined to be hiring illegals, you should force them to pay back wages and healthcare directly to the illegals (in addition to Social Security to the government) for as long as they haven’t been offering it regardless of when you find out in addition to a penalty for violating income taxes.

It will at least cover our new Homeland Security illegal rideshare program.

Illegal Immigrant / Rancher Lawsuit Follow-up

Here is some under reported good news.

Sixteen illegal aliens who sued an Arizona rancher, claiming he violated their civil rights and falsely imprisoned them by holding them at gunpoint on his property along the border, have lost their case.

Common sense prevails and scumbag lawyers truly learn the meaning of pro bono as they cannot collect attorney’s fees.

“It was 95 percent victory for us,” he said. “What they really wanted were the first two civil rights claims because if they got those, they got attorney’s fees. With nine attorneys working on the case, I’m sure their fees were $500,000 to $1 million.”

UPDATE: The inestimable Laurie Kendrick shares a close look at life on a border ranch.

British Nativists Break My Heart Or Juana’s Addicion

Mainly because they aren’t selling their country out for a fistful of tacos:

LONDON (Reuters) – A Mexican national who told airport immigration he was visiting Britain to see a friend was swiftly deported after a search unearthed a good-luck card in his luggage wishing him well for his “new life in the UK.”

UK Border Agency officers at Manchester Airport routinely stopped the 40-year-old chef after he arrived on a flight from Los Angeles last Friday.

What’s sadder – that the British react more swiftly to an illegal alien than our sellout government or that Britain had to screen an illegal who was able to buy a plane ticket, make it through our airport security (that I get roto-rootered doing) and had to finally be apprehended by one of our allies?

Think about that the next time you’re getting your passport expedited, getting the necessary vaccinations to travel abroad, getting x-rayed, taking your shoes and belts off, and having to flash your ID a hundred times before boarding a plane.

The man later admitted he had intended to work at the restaurant illegally and had planned to bring his family over from America if he liked it.

He was deported the next day.

“We will not tolerate people coming here to work illegally,” the agency said. “People wanting to visit the UK must play by the rules. Those who do not are sent back.”

Did I read that correctly?  Deported the next day! For any ICE officials reading, that means that this man’s family is still illegally sitting around the Los Angeles area. Go get ’em.  Hopefully he was sent back to Mexico and not here or else we’re paying for his counseling after his traumatic encounter with The Law.

The British are breaking my heart because here’s how Tennessee officials are dealing with a once removed illegal who came back and dropped an anchor baby that we’re all paying for:

Illegal immigrant who was cuffed during labor sues

After she was arrested in Metro for driving without a license and shackled during parts of her labor in custody, Juana Villegas de la Paz was told she could stay free so long as she checked in monthly with immigration officials.

Now the illegal immigrant has learned that she’ll be deported the next time she checks in, and she’s suing the Department of Homeland Security for failing to provide her with a copy of her immigration file.

So, for the recap:  a) illegal alien, once removed and returned; b) caught breaking the law and has anchor baby at public expense; c) allowed to stay in country unsupervised; d) told that she will eventually be deported and now filing lawsuit claiming that Homeland Security does not have proper documentation.

What’s the Spanish word for chutzpah?  How can someone with balls this big get pregnant in the first place?  An undocumented illegal alien is wasting our tax dollars in these austere times to sue Homeland Security for not having proper documentation.

Stop Juana’s madness.

Crony Communism

The Hamtastic Mary Katherine, a favorite of this blog and all meat byproducts, warns us of the  incoming Trade Rep. (I know, exciting stuff but it gets better and “better”, I mean worse) being touted by one Pres. Barrington H. O’Snobba for The Great Trade War Czar :

Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-Los Angeles) could become the administration’s point person on international trade. He’s a terrible choice, and not just because of a history of unsavory behavior — such as his successful efforts to win a pardon from President Clinton for convicted cocaine kingpin Carlos Vignali, or the screamingly unethical robo-calls his campaign engineered during his run for Los Angeles mayor in 2001. Becerra is a leader of the Democratic Party’s protectionist wing, which opposes NAFTA, the Dominican Republic-Central American Free Trade Agreement and most other trade deals.

Now for the worst part.  The typically and predictably Chicago part.   In a news item that I have seen no one really commenting on today, Obama threatens to unleash the power of Urkelnomics on the soon to be unemployed masses by way of a brainless trust of narrow special interest bundlers and fundraisers he’s dubbing the “Economic Recovery Advisory Board”.   Tell me if you think these people should be advising anyone about what it takes to jumpstart an economy:

Choosing from corporate boardrooms, labor unions (lulz) and academia (hahahahahaha!), President Obama named a team of outside  (ROTFFSMFP) economic advisers Friday that he says he will turn to for help in boosting the sagging U.S. economy.

William H. Donaldson, who served as SEC chairman from 2003 to 2005

Donaldson is the rocket surgeon who implemented Sarbanes-Oxley.  SOX as it’s called is (also called many other things under people’s breath) is widely considered to be one of the worst and most costly laws ever inflicted on any business ever.  i.e., not growth friendly.  The stock market collapsed after it was implemented so it must be working!

Roger W. Ferguson, Jr., president and CEO of the TIAA-CREF retirement fund

How’s that retirement fund working out?  Another Harvard egghead who happened to be Urkel’s crony Transition Economic Advisory Board and Trustee of the whackadoo Carnegie Endowment for Dictators with the Ketchup Lady.  Alger Hiss not available for comment.

Robert Wolf, chairman and CEO of the financial services firm UBS Group Americas

Investment banker scumbag / Urkel fundraising bundler

David F. Swensen, CIO of Yale University

Yale’s trustfund baby daycare provider / Ever get the feeling that the fix is in?  Last week he penned an Op/Ed in the New York Times arguing that we should “stimulate” the economy by bailing out the New York Times as well as making them a tax-exempt organization. It’s For The Public Good! ™

Mark T. Gallogly, founder and managing partner of the investment advisory firm Centerbridge Partners LP

Is there a Democrat he hasn’t written a check to? If not, hold out your hand and get to the back of the line based on your particular aggrieved status – race, sexual orientation and gender in that order please.  Again, the New York Times inadvertently spills the beans.

Penny Pritzker, chairman and founder of Pritzker Realty Group

This one is truly priceless.  See above “spill the beans” link.  Pritzker was the billionaire Finance Chair of Urkel’s campaign.  He was going to repay her with the Commerce Secretary job but that’s way more work than causing the subprime mortgage crisis.  Which she did.  Chicago all the way.  What does a Chicago realty bitch know about fixing the economy? About as much as the next bitch.

Monica C. Lozano, publisher and CEO of the Spanish-language newspaper La Opinion

She publishes a Southern California Spanish newspaper.  WTF?????  National Council of La Raza member.  Castrophile.   Why does Bank of America extend credit to illegal aliens?  You’re looking at one of the reasons.  Fix the US economy?  I don’t think so.  This woman has no business being anywhere outside of a sanctuary city.

The rest are below and there are some jewels.  Doerr a no account Green Baron who’s got a carbon credit in your size, Anna Burger another Chicago Madame who was likely in league as the head of Change To Win negotiating a soft landing for Blagojevich with Rahm Emanuel as she was also part of his Transition Team.  The AFL-CIO Union thugs.  I know they know how to lose jobs but have they figured out how to make one yet without it costing $75 a hour with 3 months of vacation a year?

This list is 95% Hoover with a chance of Debs.

Jeffrey R. Immelt, CEO of General Electric
John Doerr, a partner with the venture capital firm Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers

Venture capitalist who backs Google who in turn backs Obama to the hilt.  As an Al Gore partner, he wants to legislate “greening” laws on every company which – sa-prize! -that just happens to be the business he’s in.  Another Obama loyalist.

Jim Owens, chairman and CEO of the heavy equipment manufacturer Caterpillar Inc.

This is the most confusing pick on this panel.  Owens is an unlimited Free Trade proponent for an Illinois based company that has never had a productive relationship with Obama as he is, quite simply, the most rabid anti-business President (and former Senator) in US history.  The protectionist unions (especially the Steelworkers) could potentially force Caterpillar into bankruptcy as they are the leading purchaser of steel in the United States.  Bankruptcy or relocating all of their manufacturing overseas to offset the operating expenses caused by an international steel trade war.  Those will be tens of thousands of Illinois jobs lost.

Good luck building those infrastructure projects without that company.  I know I’ll feel comfortable driving over that bridge built by the affirmative action hire to promote social justice.

Charles E. Phillips Jr., president of the computer software maker Oracle Corp.
Anna Burger, secretary-treasurer of the Service Employees International Union and chairwoman of the labor coalition Change to Win
Richard L. Trumka, secretary-treasurer of the labor organization AFL-CIO

After losing his job as a stunt double for Alex Karras in “Webster”, Trumka is Urkel’s “house cracker” who shills for the protectionists at the labor union.  In that link, he compares Hillary Clinton supporters as bigots because the only reason why you wouldn’t vote for Obama is because you’re a racist – duh.   Complete with forehead wiping black preacher shtick.  Some assembly required but given his track record of success in his field all future assembly will be done in Korea, Vietnam or Mexico.

Laura D’Andrea Tyson, who served as a key economic adviser to President Bill Clinton and is dean of the Haas School of Business at the University of California, Berkeley

Another Berkeley space case, Clinton leftover, yet another liberal Brookings Institution, CFR member (as are several others on this panel) and had no qualms knitting golden parachutes while running Morgan Stanley into the ground.

Martin Feldstein, George F. Baker Professor of Economics at Harvard University

Let’s provide “stimulus” by slashing the defense budget.  Didn’t see that coming.  Funny how all these people writing big Op-Ed pieces in the last month all get selected.  It’s almost as if they knew that they were going to be nominated and were writing the narrative before this “Board” was going to be announced.

Graying White Man Desperately Seeking Old Grey Lady

Former Democrat Vice-Presidential Candidate John McCain was welcomed back to the floor of the Senate yesterday after his failed 18-month campaign to sell his tripe-filled electoral tamales to the same conservatives he had been using as piñatas.

The entire incident was infuriatingly documented by The Hill and boasts almost as many anonymous sources as it does memorable quotes:

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) (D-MX), fresh off his disappointing bid for the White House, returned to a familiar role in the Senate on Wednesday, shaking up his own party and reaching across the aisle to Democrats.

[…]

“I am tickled pink to be here on stage with him,” said Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill (Mo.).

Kind words from one of Obama’s campaign chairs who accused him of running a non-stop bigoted campaign just three months ago.  I’ve missed you too my forked tongue, love.  Now, whisper sweet nadas in my ear.

“He talked about his own race and the devastating loss of Hispanic voters and how that arose on the rhetoric on immigration,” said a Senate Republican who attended the meeting.

A Republican senator who attended the meeting said that McCain emphasized the importance of healing the rift with Hispanics by talking about immigration reform in a “positive” way. McCain also discussed the importance of expanding the size of the party’s tent by appealing to young voters.

“So we’re not just the party of graying white men,” said the lawmaker.

It’s almost like he reads directly from the New York Times op-ed page that endorsed him, isn’t it?  Apparently graying white men have a thing for old grey ladies.

There is no expanding on a base made up of illegals from a Republican perspective because you will never be able to out-pander Democrats in terms of the size of your handout.  Whatever you offer, they’ll double it!  If you double that, they’ll quadruple it.

You’re taking a broad group of people who have so screwed up their own country by the socialists that they’ve elected that they have to sneak out, like thieves in the night, into ours.

And you think you’re going to win them over using the mantle of limited government and individual responsibility?  Even if you could you are always only one election away from bribing them again.  If you want to win votes by using racial identity politics then go ahead.  Just switch sides before you do.

All the kids are doing it.

At the all-day, private GOP meeting at the Library of Congress, McCain told colleagues their poor image among Hispanics, which he attributed to bitter intra-party squabbles over immigration reform, dealt his campaign a devastating blow.

He’s exactly right for the wrong reason.  The devastating blow wasn’t from illegal aliens not illegally voting for him but rather because people on the Right correctly knew that his corazon belonged and still belongs to another.  We know a mentirosa when we see one, vato.

Vaya con dias, Senor McCain.  Don’t let la puerta hit ya where the buen Dios split ya.

How Does Bribery Work?

Ruben Navarette at Real Clear Politics posts an interesting question via McCain’s appeal (or lack thereof) to the Latino community.  Going so far as wonder aloud “How can McCain be losing Latino voters?”

Recently, I was on a Latino-themed radio show defending John McCain. The defendant was accused of abandoning comprehensive immigration reform, turning his back on Latino supporters, and associating with a bad crowd (read: Republicans).

[…]

“During the immigration debate,” he said, “it’s very clear that a lot of the language and rhetoric that was used (by Republicans) made Latino citizens believe that we were anti-Latino.

[…]

“Yeah,” McCain said, “we were in a restaurant and he just sent over a plate of nachos. What do you say to something like that? I just said, ‘Thanks very much.”

[…]

“Throughout our history, we have had people who stoked nativist instincts,” he said.

Still, McCain’s following among Latinos is evaporating. A poll by Zogby International found that 21 percent of Latinos support McCain, compared to 70 percent for Barack Obama; the Pew Hispanic Center ranked it 23 percent McCain and 66 percent Obama.

Seeing as how McCain has been the highest profile pro-Amnesty Senator out there, how can anyone look at the complete lack of support by someone who has put his career on the line for illegal aliens be construed as anything less than a tactical error of Rumsfeldian proportions?

These people, who are in  our country illegally, are going to throw you overboard as soon as someone promises them a free ride.  McCain being the biggest example of this.  That certain cocooned Republican interests think that Mexican Catholicism is going to translate into a third way evangelical vote in a post-Amnesty world are huffing deeply from the gas rags of bad ideas while simultaneously causing a Mexican Standoff with their own base.

Thanks very much indeed, Senator.

“I’m confident that, as many more of those Latino voters focus in the next 14 days, we’ll do well,” he said.

Finally, I asked McCain if he had a message for those Latinos who have long been in his corner, as he has been in theirs. He simply expressed his hope that “they’ll just examine my record and my knowledge and my background and the judgments that I have made.” Whatever happens, he said, “I will respect their decision.”

It’s too bad that for the Republican Party’s candidate for President that he never respected his own people’s decision.

What Is Wrong With Tyson Chicken?

Besides hormone-injected breasticles.  Besides “parts-n-stuff” nuggets held together by chicken-flavored glue.   Besides the fact that when they are not culling the parking lots for illegal aliens that they go and do something like this:

Workers at Tyson Foods’ poultry processing plant in Shelbyville (TN) will no longer have a paid day off on Labor Day, but will instead take the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr in the fall.

A recent press release from the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union (RWDSU) stated that a new contract at the Shelbyville facility “implements a new holiday to accommodate the … Muslim workers at the plant.”

The RWDSU stated that “the five-year contract creates an additional paid holiday, Iidal Fitil, a Muslim holiday that occurs toward the end of Ramadan.”

On one hand I’m torn.  A private business should be able to give everyone 365 days off a year if they want.  On the other hand, replacing Labor Day for a holiday to placate the most violent, intolerant, misogynistic religion on the planet may not be the greatest idea.  And while it shows a politically expedient gesture to their employees where the company has financially given up nothing, it may not play as well to their customers.

“Based on the contract, the other paid holidays include: The Team Member’s birthday, New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day,” Mickelson said.

So Easter didn’t make the cut, eh?  I guess rising from the dead was subject to negotiation.  Tough crowd.  If I’m to believe the Ramadan prayer at the close of Eid-al-Fitr there is only one god anyway so you might as well quit pissing them off and drop Christmas too.

How you got 700 Muslims out of 1200 employees at the same plant in rural Shelbyville, TN is a baffling statistic.

Regardless, say goodbye to my freezer Tyson.  Your products will never see the inside of it again.

Bow Down Before The One Your Serve Update: Evidently, the local NBC affiliate went down to see what all the hub-bub was and was rejected from stepping foot on the property – for reasons which may be obvious:

Tyson company spokeswoman Libby Lawson said by phone that, “This isn’t a religious accommodation, this is a contractual agreement. The majority asked for it.”

So can we assume that if the majority asked for 10 days, 14 days, 21 days off a year that they would get it?

Channel 4’s Cynthia Williams could not reach any of the plant’s Muslim workers, because Channel 4 News’ crew was not permitted on the property.

Note to Cynthia:  Put on a burqa and see if that helps.

Former employee and Shelbyville resident Anthony Proctor said he thinks what’s happening is wrong.  He said he helped build a special Muslim prayer room that’s located inside the plant and that no other Tyson facility has been that accommodating for any other religion.

“If we want to go pray, we don’t have one for Christians,” he said.

They also said if you were Union that you could still take off Labor Day but that if you weren’t Union that you still have to come to work.  Does that mean Muslims can’t take Christmas off?  Racists can’t take MLK Day off?  The British can’t take off Independence Day?

If only there was a law in place about treating all employees equal.

Hey Cynthia, just do what most Tyson workers do in order to get inside – steal somebody’s Social Security number, buy a fake ID, and take a job paying below minimum wage.

Allahu Akbar, ya’ll.

Double Reverse Irony Watch: Obama-backing Union approved the move.

Illegals… Stabbing The Unwed Mothers That Americans Won’t Stab

None of the news sources I’ve read will verify whether or not Jesus Humberto Canales has a green card, but I’m going to make an unfair assumption here and see how the fuzzy dice land on this one. If you happen to see Jesus driving around in his bronze minivan, do humanity a favor and shoot him on sight.

First, there are wails and a shuffling sound. Then the trembling voice of a 9-year-old Lancaster girl who had just watched her father kill her mother.

“Hello, my dad just stabbed my mom,” she tells the 911 operator, crying.

“He what?” the dispatcher asks.

“He just stabbed my mom,” she sobs into the receiver.

“With what?”

“A sword.”

The screams of her three siblings can be heard in the background. They all had just watched as Jesus Humberto Canales plunged the weapon into his girlfriend early Saturday morning in their two-bedroom apartment.

At one point, a child’s voice screams, “Daddy!”

Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies on Monday released a recording of the gut-wrenching 911 call in a public appeal for help in finding Canales, 29.

After killing Lucy Preciado – the 26-year-old mother of three of his children who spent her days at home watching them – he jumped in his 2002 bronze GMC minivan and took off, authorities said.

One thing is certain, whenever they do find Canales, John McShame and B. Hussein Obama will both be first there to beg for his vote and offer Amnesty.

UPDATE: Well, my hunch was right. “Chuy” the mom-stabber is from El Salvador. And he’s looking for some Meth. Which means that he could be on his way to East Tennessee.

Canales is Hispanic and a native of El Salvador. He is 5-foot, 7-inches tall, around 200 pounds with a shaved head. He has been known to sport a mustache and goatee. He also wears glasses. Canales has the word “Brown” tattooed on one arm and “Pride” on the other.

Canales is a known user of methamphetamines and may be looking to obtain the drug, Las Cruces police said.

Brown pride indeed. Nice ink, scumbag.

Kids Today

Always with their Xboxes and Playstations and Nintendo DSeses. Maintaining an increasingly sedentary lifestyle void of meaning and substance. I wish they’d pay more attention to what’s going on in the world, you know? Get involved. Do something with their life.

Like this kid:

HAVANA, Cuba (AP)The Cuban boy at the center of an international custody battle eight years ago has joined Cuba’s Young Communist Union.

Elian Gonzalez said he will never let down ex-President Fidel Castro and his brother Raul Castro, according to the Communist youth newspaper Juventud Rebelde.

Because so many 14 year olds want to get involved in politics and defend murderous dictators. Who does Elian Gonzalez think he is the average commenter at Digg or something?

Juventud Rebelde says in its Sunday edition that the boy was among 18,000 people who joined the group Saturday.

That’s one hell of a “Vote or Die” campaign F-Diddy has got going on down there. I don’t think that Miss Cleo or possibly Whoopi Goldberg could have seen a future where little Elian would be used as a tool for Communist propaganda for the rest of his life. I refuse to be that cynical.

Ah, the 1990s. It was a simpler time. The world was at peace. Everywhere an American traveled abroad the local peasantry tossed rose pedals at our feet. The French always sent us this most excellent cheese sampler every Christmas. The Chinese were only putting antifreeze in the cat food instead of the dog food too. The Russians were charging the Venezuelans retail for AK-47s. I made a million dollars a year at the Cotton Candy factory, myself.

And damn it, the government knew how to deal with illegal immigrants.

Tell those bigots to shut up!

After all, we don’t have the money to go after every illegal alien with a fully locked and loaded SWAT team. Only the 6 year old ones.

Who Wants Mexican Tonight?

I mean besides the sharks:

No one could even remember a shark attack along this resort-studded stretch of Mexican coast popular with surfers and Hollywood’s elite. Many of the large predators had been pulled from the ocean by fishermen.

So when sharks attacked three surfers in less than a month, two fatally, it was unthinkable.

The Mad Seal Poop Shovelers at Monterrey Bay Aquarium are indeed having the last laugh when it comes to stemming the tide of illegal immigration.

Told you so!

Terrorist Imprisoned – The Digg-tators Lament

A Constitution torn asunder. Suspension of habeas corpus. Children ripped from their mother’s breasts. Isn’t this what Hitler did?

But Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri is a U.S. resident (not a citizen – ed.) being held in a South Carolina military brig; he is the only enemy combatant held on U.S. soil. That makes his case very different.

Al-Marri’s capture six years ago might be the Bush administration’s biggest domestic counterterrorism success story.

[…]

A Qatari national, al-Marri came to the U.S. with his wife and five children on Sept. 10, 2001 — one day before the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington. He arrived on a student visa

[…]

According to court documents citing multiple intelligence sources, al-Marri spent months in al-Qaida training camps during the late 1990s and was schooled in the science of poisons. The summer before al-Marri left for the United States, he allegedly met with Osama bin Laden and Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. The two al-Qaida leaders decided al-Marri would make a perfect sleeper agent and rushed him into the U.S. before Sept. 11, the government says.

[…]

The FBI interviewed al-Marri that October and arrested him in December as part of the Sept. 11 investigation. He rarely had been attending classes and was failing in school, the government said.

When investigators looked through his computer files, they found information on industrial chemical suppliers, sermons by bin Laden, how-to guides for making hydrogen cyanide and information about chemicals labeled “immediately dangerous to life or health,” according to Rapp’s court filing. Phone calls and e-mails linked al-Marri to senior al-Qaida leaders.

Hrm. Qatari national who went to al-Qaeda training camps arrives in U.S. on September 10th, 2001 and enrolls at smalltown university and promptly stops attending classes and failing out – while on a student visa. Gets caught ripping off credit cards and with laptop brimming with information on bombmaking, OBL sermons, and making phone calls to senior AQ leaders.

You would think that the Diggtators would pick a different hill to die on but no – this one looks fine.

Valerie Plame! Military dictatorship! Racism! Ron Paul!!1!! Diebold’s gonna round us all up to be gassed in teh FEMA trailers for KingBushCorp.!!!!

Why, if King George can unilaterally declare this guy an “enemy combatant”, then we could all be next! If I can’t associate with known terrorists, manufacture poisonous gases, and steal other people’s identities while listening to my favorite OBL tunes on my i-Pod in Peoria then this is just like Nazi Germany.

Stock up on bullets and creamed corn man, that’s all I’m saying.

How Do I Reach Deez Keedz?

It’s a simple mistake. One anyone could have made.

Though many of our amigos come to this rapidly depreciating great land of ours to make a living by doing jobs Americans Don’t Want To Do, some habits are too hard to break:

A Mexican official allegedly swiped half a dozen or more BlackBerrys belonging to his White House counterparts during a U.S.-Mexico summit this week, according to news reports.

[…]

Rafael Quintero Curiel, a member of Calderon’s press office, allegedly took six or seven BlackBerrys belonging to White House staff from a table outside a room in the hotel where Mexican officials were meeting with Bush…

[…]

The U.S. Secret Service is said to have caught Quintero Curiel pocketing the devices on a surveillance video. Mexican media confirmed the story and Mexican officials told The Times today that Quintero Curiel was fired after he returned to Mexico. According to Fox News, the Secret Service caught up with him at the airport, where he “said it was purely accidental, gave [the BlackBerrys] back, claimed diplomatic immunity and left New Orleans with the Mexican delegation.”

¡Ay, caramba! How do I reach deez keedz?

Sr. Quintero was apprehended selling the Blackberrys by the bag at the off-ramp to the Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans. He deftly played the Bill Belichick card and responded to the Secret Service that when he was told that he was going to America to pick Blackberrys that he misunderstood the job requirements.

“A gringo pulled up in a limousine and picked up our Mexican delegation in the parking lot of a Shell station a few miles from the Summit”, Quintero Curiel explained. “They left me in a room and I see a bunch of blackberries so I started picking them. I’m going to chalk this up to a cultural differences.”

Presumptive Republican vice-presidential candidate Mike Huckabee Jack Kemp Arlen Spektre Lindsey Graham seized on the plight of Sr. Quintero to underscore the need to half-heartedly fund an imaginary fence along the U.S. southern border to make the bigots shut up.

Tuesday’s Trash

Just go ahead and put these kids to sleep. It will save us a lot of money in future meth-lab cleanups, I can promise you.

POLK COUNTY, Fla. — Video was released late Monday afternoon showing a brutal beating at the hands of a gang of teenage girls. Their motivation for the attack was allegedly so they could post the video on YouTube and MySpace.

The victim reported the attack after she was beaten so badly she had to be treated at the hospital. That’s when the sheriff’s office started looking into it and learned about the video.

The sheriff calls it shocking, saying he’s never seen anything like it. It was a vicious attack all captured on home video inside a Polk County home.

When 16-year-old Victoria Lindsay arrived at her friend’s house where she had been staying, six girls were waiting. Immediately, they started yelling and one girl began pummeling the victim.

On the video, the girls can be heard encouraging the fight in the background, even taunting Lindsay to fight back, all while one of them held the camera. The victim’s family has said it was an elaborate plot to injure and embarrass Victoria Lindsay. Lindsay’s parents couldn’t believe their daughter had to endure the attack.

Too bad the mother didn’t have a shotgun handy. It would have been society’s gain.

And no, I’m not posting the video. If you want it, you know how to find it.

B-Mac Update:

Further to the possible assault on a high schooler from yesterday that I linked to in the comments, her story and the videos just didn’t pan out.  Though several students are still under suspension for destroying her sign,  her other accusations have since been recanted.

Come on, kids.  Between drunkenly mowing down track stars, running drugs, and killing/raping 70+ year old grandmothers, it’s not like you have to make stuff up!

Most Aggressive Response to Illegal Immigration To Date

Leave it to the environmentally ecotarded and the law of unintended consequences:

A great white shark released from the Monterey Bay Aquarium six weeks ago has already swum past the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja peninsula — about 1,200 miles (1,930 kilometers) away.

Aquarium staff said the male shark’s migration is the fastest ever documented from Monterey to Mexico.

The shark was documented though. Perhaps with that additional paperwork it will speed his Path To Citizenship ™.

The mad seal poop shovelers of the Monterey Bay Aquarium cackled that they will release an additional Great White shark every hour, on the hour until Mexico starts enforcing their side of the border.

G.W. Shark

Si, se puede! 

Guys, I’m all for border control but this probably violates the Geneva Conventions or something.

Close Encounters of The Limey Kind

I’ll admit to liking a couple of Beatles songs but the idea that we should make them our deep space musical ambassadors to possibly hostile alien life forms just strikes me as needlessly initiating negotiations from a position of weakness:

The Beatles are about to become radio stars in a whole new way.NASA on Monday will broadcast the Beatles’ song “Across the Universe” across the galaxy to Polaris, the North Star.

[…]

“Send my love to the aliens,” Paul McCartney told NASA through a Beatles historian. “All the best, Paul.”

Yes. By all means let’s send the aliens our love and hope that they speak the intergalactic language of “hippie”.

Love me do

 

All you need is love.

 

I came for the earthhole

[…]

 

Love me do

 

Love, love me do?

 

I came for the earthhole

[…]

 

Love me do

 

I want to hold your hand.

 

I came for the earthhole

Do you think I traveled from Arturos 9 for heavy petting in the back of my dad’s Galaxie 500? Grab your primitive feet handles and prepare to initiate “Operation: Infinite Uranus” gangbang protocols in 3…..2…….1……

 

help

Help!

You’re not from around here, are you? 

 

Ramming the Homeland Security Vehicles that Americans Just Won’t Ram

This one would be hilarious if I didn’t know that this over-stuffed vanful of illegals would have probably smashed into some other innocent motorists if they hadn’t rammed an official Homeland Security SUV. Then again, the SUV deserved it, because, well, it’s an evil SUV.

Normally, a non-injury rear-end collision wouldn’t warrant a news story. But in an ironic twist, this crash involved a van full of illegal immigrants which slammed into an SUV owned by the Department of Homeland Security.

The Arizona Department of Public Safety said the Chrysler van was heading west Tuesday morning when it was involved in a three-vehicle chain-reaction crash near the Elliot Road off-ramp. Harold Sanders with DPS said, “the 11 illegal immigrants inside the van were turned over to Immigration and Customs Enforcement.”

There were no reports of any injuries, despite the fact that the van was overloaded.

One has to wonder if there were empty bottles of tequila rolling around the floorboard of the over-stuffed Hispanic Mystery Machine. Surely not.

President Junior was quick to send a personal handwritten apology to the illegals, and included a cash advance on their soon-to-come tax rebate checks. Compassionate conservatism.

h/t yet again to MB

That’s Quite A ‘Funny Accent’ You’ve Got There

“I think it is really kind of offensive actually to suggest, to say look, you know what, if you are a homeowner and you hire a company to come provide a service at your home … if you hear someone with a funny accent, you, as a homeowner, are supposed to go out there and say, ‘I want to see your papers.’ Is that what you’re suggesting?”

Mitt Romney, CNN Youtube debates, November 28, 2007

Compare and contrast:

Today I learned that employees of your company, who were assigned to work on my property, are not permitted to work in the United States. Given your company’s disregard for the clear instructions provided on this issue last year, I am forced to terminate my contract with your company, effective immediate,” he wrote.

If Mitt’s going to pop a squat in his bushes stab his landscapers in the back after all of their years of faithful service, his eight wives wife had better start putting their her divorce attorneys on retainer.

Why Tancredo Is My Choice

He’s been the only candidate who, from the very beginning, is willing to link our open borders with the throngs who are here and/or coming to kill us.

“There are consequences to open borders beyond the 20 million aliens who have come to take our jobs,” a narrator says. “Islamic terrorists now freely roam U.S. soil, jihadists who froth with hate, here to do as they have in London, Spain, Russia. The price we pay for spineless politicians who refuse to defend our borders against those who come to kill.”

Tancredo, a Colorado congressman who has long advocated tight limits on immigration, barely registers in public opinion polls. But the immigration issue does resonate. Sen. John McCain, who helped lead an effort to overhaul immigration laws and provide a path to citizenship for some immigrants, lost momentum last spring as the debate over the legislation played out in Congress.

The powerful image of a hooded terrorist plays to viewers’ post-9/11 fears. It is reminiscent of Lyndon Johnson’s “Daisy” ad in 1964 against Barry Goldwater, which suggested a Goldwater presidency could result in nuclear war.

“I approve this message because someone needs to say it,” Tancredo says at the beginning of the ad.

We need more ads that speak the truth like this one.