Dear Santa Trump

I’m a big believer in taking quick wins where you can get them.

As such, make my Christmas come early this year by issuing executive orders repealing rules or bans concerning gas caps, low-flow toilets, and incandescent bulbs tout suite.

These things never should have been screwed with in the first place and are a constant reminder that there is no area that the dick of government doesn’t want to shove into the hole of your life.

Just do it while we have the chance.

I’ll give up bumpfire stocks to get back 3.5 gallon commodes and gas cans that don’t spill more than they put in a tank.

Down Low Delanie And The Only Quote That Matters on NFL Anthem Protests

“Down Low” Delanie Walker, as he’s called in some circles (he so pretty, isn’t he?), was catching more than balls this week following a smarmy interview he gave to a local reporter after the Tennessee Titans and Seattle Seahawks agreed to disrespect the country:

“Fans that don’t want to come to the game? OK, bye. If you feel we’re disrespecting you, don’t come to the game. You don’t have to,” Walker said. “No one’s telling you to come to the game. It’s your freedom of choice.”

Given all of the empty seats I’ve seen at the Titans game this year, clearly the Titans are aiming for a more selective audience. But following his dissing of the flag and the fans, now he’s catching some heat:

“The death threats that my family and I have received since my comments are heartbreaking,” he wrote. “The racist and violent words directed at me and my son only serve as another reminder that our country remains divided and full of hateful rhetoric. “

You don’t want to receive threats? Ok, bye. You feel you’re being disrespected? Go play somewhere else. You don’t have to play here. It’s your freedom of choice.

Like abandoning your babymama when she pregnint. She white tho’, Mr. Black Unity.

Down Low got his SJW talking points following Eric Reid’s NYT editorial this week where they try to move the goalposts and say that spitting on the flag, the anthem, and the fans is really just about their amazing “dialogue” outreach program to Raise Awareness(tm) that millionaire blacks will complain about anything.

It baffles me that our protest is still being misconstrued as disrespectful to the country, flag and military personnel. We chose it because it’s exactly the opposite. It has always been my understanding that the brave men and women who fought and died for our country did so to ensure that we could live in a fair and free society, which includes the right to speak out in protest.

I’m sure there are a great many subjects baffle Mr. Reid. But no one is misconstruing his or Colin Kaepernick’s intent in flag and anthem protesting. He’s lying to himself or he’s lying to public about that.

Here is what Colin Kaepernick said about why he protests the flag and the anthem:

After the game, during an interview with NFL.com, Kaepernick explained that the move was a protest over how the country treats black people and people of color.

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses Black people and people of color,” Kaepernick said. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

So there you have it. Straight from the ungrateful son of a bitch’s dicksucker. He is protesting the flag. He is protesting the anthem. It’s a racist country and he’s not showing it any respect ‘cuz “bodies in the streets” or some made-up bullshit.

And so the fuck is all of the NFL. You can try to massage the PR because of the blowback but we know exactly why you’re doing it, when you’re doing it.

All police should boycott NFL events. All military flyovers should be cancelled. The IRS should revoke the NFL’s tax status. And that’s just for starters. It’s my feeling that a lot of games have been rigged over the years.

Now reports are circulating that the Raiders offensive line threw the game because QB Derek Carr didn’t kneel for their anti-american anthem protest. So because Carr didn’t protest with them, the O-Line didn’t protect him and his receivers intentionally dropped balls.

As a source inside the Raiders lockerroom reported an offensive guard told him, “He wants to stand alone? He can stand alone on the field.”

So much for that “team unity” I keep hearing about. NFL, the check engine light on your multi-billion dollar car is flashing.

Tar Baby President Fights The White Supremacist NFL

I have been as critical as anyone of Trump in the past but he is an absolute genius to take on the NFL and the NBA. Trump goading the felons, the barely able to speak and read, the pampered and powdered wig owners flinging themselves against him to support the use of their taxpayer funded stadiums as an excuse to stick their middle fingers in the faces of their fans on a weekly basis is “The Art of War”.

And to do it abroad? Well, fuck you all forever.

I’ve watched football since I was two years old. Loved it. Followed it. Spent 16 hours a week watching games or playing fantasy. And I have been done with it for about a year now and don’t miss it at all.

This current imbroglio all stems from Ferguson and the Rams celebrating their felons’ non-sequitir protest against the national anthem in the course of their work duties. I have problems with the militarization of the police, the dissolving of the 4th amendment, civil asset forfeiture, and the rampant abuse of disproportionate force against people and animals.

But who goes to work and takes a knee to protest injustice in the lobby of their building? Who makes a public display of their political agreements every day in front of their employer’s customers and what employer celebrates them for doing it?

Customer: Umm, yea…I’d like to get some chicken tenders and a coke.
Cashier at Window 1: Imma let you finish but climate change is important to me so Imma take a knee to protest the Keystone pipeline for two minutes. Fuck you and go to window 2.
Cashier at Window 2: The plight of undocumented workers being kicked out of the only country they’ve ever known is responsible for me having to work the Fry-a-lator. Imma take a knee in silent protest. Pull ahead so you don’t count against my timer and park and I’ll bring your order out when I get through.

No one is saying that no one has a right to protest. But there is a place and a time. People looking for an escape from the stress of their daily lives shouldn’t have to be subject to having their multi-millionaire entertainers throw their tantrum against the flag and the national anthem that has absolutely nothing to do with their pet causes.

What does the flag and the anthem have to do with police?

The rub is that – let’s say this is all worked out this season. Are the fans ever going to forget that the spoiled rotten, crybullies on the field are a bunch of anti-american racebaiters who hate them and their institutions?

The NFL signed a suicide note this weekend. The players wrote it so it’s illegible and misspelled but the white supremacist owners co-signed it in counterparts. The slaveowners joined with the slaves to paraphrase Colin Kaepernick’ svengal. These organizations currently only exist because of a bad deal they signed with ESPN. Like Saudi Arabia warring with US frackers, the NFL can survive for a while on less revenue from dwindling ticket sales and merchandise purchases. Not so much without advertising revenue.

But this is a war. And if it’s war the NFL wants – it’s war the NFL should get. Boycott the games in person and on tv. Have Congress end the NFL’s anti-trust exemption.

I never believed that the goal of all the concussion talk was meant to be anything other than a ploy to end the NFL. Clearly, enough owners and players have enough brain damage to make that happen.

The guardians of the goose that laid the golden egg have fatally misjudged the dynamic.

And You Thought They Liked Nasty Women

Kelly Anne Conway sits on a couch in the Oval Office trying to get a good photo with her smartphone.
Leftists lose their minds at her lack of respect for the office and suggestive, not ladylike repose.

Tsk, tsk, Kellyanne. Don’t you know that liberals like Nasty Women?

As such, they’d prefer you on your knees servicing the President under the desk.

Because they’re, *growl* Naaassty Womynz.

DNC Deathwatch: The Crusade To Islamify The Permanent Minority Party

Live Update: After a first round of votes, Perez missed a win by one vote with Ellison trailing by 13 votes.

In the interim, angry DNC attorney Peter McPeckerface decided to drop out and endorse Ellison with his massive vote tally of zero from behind his furrowed eyebrows and glaring stare.

Super weird.

If Ellison loses, I need to get my popcorn ready. The Establishment will have screwed the millenials over again.

Round 2 should decide it.

Oh, shit. Perez wins. Ellison got no more votes in the 2nd Round and he doesn’t look like a happy jihadi.

It is all frowns and boos in the back of the room. Ellison is fuming.

Perez’s first act? To suspend the rules and make Ellison DNC Deputy Chair. Why would the winner do this?

The crowd is wilder about this than Perez’s win.

Take it away Alan Dershowitz. Does this count? 46% of the DNC voted for a lifelong jewhating bigot and gave him Deputy chair as a consolation prize.

Ellison congratulates “Our” Chair.

DNC you’ve made a deal with the devil. Ellison is giving a longer speech than Perez.

In the back, an angry harridan screams “Fuck Trump”.


It’s like some horrific car crash where I can’t stop grinning. A better analogy might be one of those self-inflicted, work-related injuries that bombmakers suffer.

Either way, as long as Democrats die or have lifelong injuries as a result – I’m pretty cool with it.

Today is the day. The Democratic National Committee is going to elect a direct disciple of Louis Farrakhan and a well-documented anti-semite and terrorist sympathizer as their Chairman.

They started off with an invocation from an Imam, natch. The only acceptable establishment of religion.

In retrospect, September 11th was a real clarifying moment as to who some people are wasn’t it?

I love it. This is great. Live on C-Span 1.

Disgraced, fired CNN bulldagger Donna Brazile is herding the cats. Disgraced former Baltimore Mayor Stephanie “Give Them Room To Destroy” Rawlings-Blake is giving the Lunatics at the DNC, er, room to destroy.

Time To Threaten The Accomplices

Breitbart Jerusalem is confirming my speculation from yesterday. Namely, that all of this last minute focus on Israel is solely to lay the groundwork for Obama dropping a nuclear bomb on the last 50 years of US Middle East policy:

He (a senior Palestinian Authority official) said the UN action would seek to set the parameters of a future Palestinian state with a clear timeline for negotiations. If the action comes in the form of a resolution at a UN body, it could call for an infrastructure to establish mechanisms to enforce last week’s UNSC resolution, which demanded a complete halt to Israeli construction in the West Bank and eastern Jerusalem and declared those territories occupied Palestinian lands.

Like Obama’s last minute land grabs across the West, he is now grabbing Israeli land that has never been in dispute and will order UN members to take it from them at gunpoint.

The blue hats won’t do shit but the jackboot, Islamonazi loving kafirs will gladly march under their aegis as diplomatic cover.

“The goal is for these moves to be binding for the incoming American administration, which would have to adopt them as its platform, and also for the European Union, which is expected to step up should there be clashes with Trump,” he said.

“In the next few days we’ll know whether we’re headed to the UNSC,” the official said. “Right now, the chances of that are very high. From our viewpoint, the goal is partially achieved. The settlements have been designated as the main obstacle to the peace process and now it’s up for the world to make clear that, in the event of failure, the side that would refuse to comply with the will of the international community, as codified in the UN resolution, is the guilty side.”

This demands action. Not sitting around with thumbs up asses until January. Not tactical Twitter salvos.

Trump’s team needs to be getting face to face time with our international partners to shitcan this quixotic Muzzloid campaign of Obama to welcome Hamas into the loving bosom of the UN and steal land taken from Jordan in a defensive effort in 1967 and just giving it to Hamas.

Additionally, Obama thinks if he can give Jerusalem to Hamas in the next week then Trump can’t move the embassy there now can he?

To the accomplices, you support this? You vote for this? All your foreign aid is cut. Close your embassies. Recall your ambassadors. Get out before I throw you out.

Some may think this is just normal, end of a president’s term legacy burnishing.

It is not. It’s not Netanyahu that Obama is after. He means to sneak up on Israel in the last month in office, cut it’s head off, and scream Allahu Akbar in front of his Muslim brothers.

And all the while, engaging in the taqiyya that he is actually their greatest friend and ally. Concerned about them living in peace as he cuts them in half and wipes their blood from his lips.

Resting in peace is more like it.

This is Obama 101. Rape you and then claim you loved it afterwards.

In fact, Jimmy Carter laid out the exact path Obama is following in a NYT editorial last month.

You Can Either Be Muzzloid Or You Can Be Democratic

I have to give Kerry credit. Sometimes when he’s lurching from conference to conference to bicycle track to water polo, he accidentally stumbles upon the Holy Grail.

Telling Israelis that they have to choose between “being Jewish or being democratic” is never a choice that would be put to Muzzloids. A) Because Muzzloidism is a totalitarian political ideology and inherently unsuited to democracy and B) If you forced Muzzloids to choose between Muzzloidism and becoming pluralistic, tolerant Americans then they would all have to leave.

When would Obama ever ask Muzzloids to check their religion at the door?

There are several things going on here that are not being discussed anywhere that I’ve seen.

When Obama tried to overthrow Netanyahu by doing far worse things than he accuses the Russians of doing in our election, he has treated the minority Herzog loser he backed as the de facto shadow government of Israel and Kerry’s embrace of Herzog today is underscoring this.

Kerry is explicitly threatening an Intifada if Netanyahu doesn’t cow to the UN. He threatens that they will never live in peace if they don’t give Hamas a state.

Remember when Netanyahu said the two state solution was dead for the time being and Obama kept saying that he takes him at his word. If terrorism brings you to the table then the ends justify the means. If the terrorists can’t get to you then your biggest ally recognizing a Palestinian state would.

I expect no less from the administration that’s been funding ISIS in Syria for the last few years but that is the import.

This is going somewhere. You don’t “lay out a competitive vision for peace” in week 413 of your 416 week long administration. Saying that he cant just sit idly by as peace slips away…say, where have you been for the last four years?

Something else is coming and Israel has traitors in its borders working with Kerry and Obama to feed them to the Muzzloid dogs. And a surprising number of “civilized” countries are going along with it.

Why now? Why this sudden push at the end? You don’t expend this effort for nothing.

The belt is in the air. I warned you. I tried to be nice. He’s laying the groundwork to justify what he decided to do 2 years ago.

It’s just sloppy and hamfisted like usual.

John Kerry Has Something To Say

Most uninspiring title ever.

After organizing a Kristallnacht at the UN last week, serial funeral home creep and carbon footprint enthusiast John Heinz-Kerry, has something very important to say.

No, he’s not going to finally admit that he never broke his femur (and never needed a cast for it either) but rather used that as a convenient excuse to disappear from the public while his facelift healed. Nor will he admit that his old face was grafted onto Samantha Powers.

Nope. Legacy Builder announces he wants to do something big about Peace in the last three weeks of Obama’s Reign of Error. He wants to dispel a few myths about how he put pressure on our allies to blindside Israel at the UN.

First, he’ll say they weren’t blindsided. That The World Community (TM) has already condemned Israeli settlements and that making fun of Ben Rhodes as a failed fiction writer is “unhelpful”

And this is me going out on a limb, but I could easily see that Kerry and Obama would want to officially recognize a Palestinian state before they go.

Another last minute bomb in the beehive to stir up trouble for Netanyahu and Trump.

Whatever is the wrong thing for America and our allies, that is what Obama will do. It will be petty. It will be spiteful. It will be unprecedented and undignified. It will be as he’s walking out the door.

He’s a Leftist Santa Claus granting wishlists to bad girls and boys depending on how they self identify. He wants to cement his legacy as the most liberal president in history.

We’ve always known how he feels about everything. There are no surprises with him. A Hate America Communist pol who roofied a lot of gullible idiots with peace and hope and change pap.

He hates America. He definitely hates Israel. And he waited to do his most damage until he knew he would face no electoral consequences.

Whether it’s illegal aliens or Iran getting nukes, the Obama policy is that if he can let a genie out of the bottle then the game is changed forever.

It’s like AIDS. If you can’t cure it then spread it. Then maybe your funding will increase and people will be more accepting. This is the chaos inducing mind of a terrorist.

Frankly, I’m surprised that anyone would be surprised by this at this point.


My President Be White Again

Serial race huckster Tenisha Coates finally published his rearview hagiography of Obama that was mostly written before he took office.

All across Liberal America, the pinot is breathing in rapt anticipation of a long bubble bath of white guilt. The latter day Bernsteins and Premingers mau-mauing the flak catchers.

I’ll save you the disingenous, 10,000 word treatise:

Obama is still the Lightbringer and his greatest mistake was not understanding how racist Amerikkka is.

Brevity may be the soul of wit but not the soulbrother.

In many ways, Coates is the Obama of the opinion commentariat in that he’s a hack getting by very well on his skin color and that you’re not allowed to criticize him.

Now, that I encapsulated Coates’ reflections so succinctly, won’t someone underwrite my $2MM New York brownstone?

Less the $400k black privilege fee Coates added after living there for one month when he suddenly realized White Amerikkka won’t let a black man have nuffin nice.

Pointy Toothed Savage Fareed Zakaria “Reflects”

Noted plagiarist and possible Ferengi interloper Fareed Zakaria feints to “reflection” in his little watched CNN show this Sunday morning.

The Hate America Leftist attempts to elite-splain how he could have been so wrong about the election results. His preconceived notions are predictably as patronizing as they are elitist:

But first here’s my check for those of us who oppose Donald Trump the response Tuesday’s vote could be anger or honest reflection.

Spoiler alert: That’s the feint.

And I am not by Nature an angry person so I’ll try the latter. Donald Trump remade the political map with a huge surge of support from working class whites particularly in rural communities. Let me be honest.

This is a world that I don’t know and many people probably don’t know very well and that’s part of the problem.

That would be “many people” with the minor exception of the people who won the election last week. Simultaneously he runs a scroll at the bottom that says Fareed’s Take: instead of anger over Trump Victory I will try reflection.

We have all managed to ignore Rural America and the pain of economic hardship and social dislocation it has faced over the last few decades.

Of course when Fareed says “we”, he means our betters. The Coastal elitists, such as himself, who thanks to their Advanced intellect have risen to cities like New York and Los Angeles in a meritocracy and that anyone who does not live in those cities is an inbred, uneducated hillbilly who we should not mock but rather explain to them how the world works through a sophisticated system of grunts and groans and possibly coloring books.

The big divide in America today is urban vs rural. There is an essay on the satirical website Cracked.com by David Wong who grew up in a small town in Illinois and it gives voice to the rage of rural Americans (titled “How Half of America lost its Fucking Mind“.

The whole goddamned world revolves around America’s cities.

Most new movies, songs, games are about NY, LA, or Chicago or some fantasy version of them. All the hot, new indistries are in hip cities.

If you live in rural America, that fucking sucks.

To those who ignored suffering people (flashes image on screen of homes destroyed by hurricane or tornado), Donald Trump is a brick chucked through the window of the elites.

Are you assholes listening now?

To which Zakaria hilariously responds, “We are”. This was the closest Zakaria came to introspection in his little soliloquy.

Now comes the condescending, patronizing rationale where, “let’s not judge” but rather elitist-splain how we got to this point.

Over the last three or four decades, America has sorted itself into a highly effecient meritocracy.

What lurks behind his dead, black eyes is unadulterated evil and he would easily support someone else to ethnically cleanse you if he could.

Where people from all walks of life can move up the ladder of achievement and income – usually ending up in cities.

It’s a better way than using race or gender or bloodlines as a path to wealth and power but it does create it’s own problems.

Such as smelling your own farts, hypnotizing navels of unfathomable depths, and Costs of Living that make what you could live on like a King in rural America will only rent you an 800 square foot crackerbox in some shit ass borough on top of several million other of your highy enlightened fellow meritocrats.

*CNN scroll: We’re listening now, Rural America!*

You say you’re listening but I have my suspicions that you’re still not.

As with any system, there will be people who don’t ascend to the top.

And because it’s a meritocracy, it’s easy to believe this is justified.

That they deserve it.

A meritocracy can be blind to the fact that some people don’t make it because they were unlucky or up against tough odds.

So, you see, because we’re better than you (/Because Merit) I hope you understand why we feel this smug sense of superiority over you. Somewhat coincidentally, the word “meritocracy” was thrown around a lot by David Brooks on Meet the Depressed this morning as well.

From the streetsweeper, to the plumber, to some office drone, the cabbie, or the guy who cooks food on the street. Better than you cousin fucking rubes in every way.

Because Ascendancy of Merit!

More profoundly, it can be morally blind.

Even those who score poorly on tests, or have bad work habits are human beings.

Unpack that one for a second. Assuming you scored high enough on a test to read and aren’t so lazy that you’d bother.

People in rural America just don’t work as hard as that straphanger riding a filthy, crime ridden subway to their cubicle.

You’re a human being too! Thanks for the reminder. And you’re welcome.

Deserving of attention and respect.

Same as any institutionalized mental invalid I suppose.

The Republicans great success in Rural communities has been that even though they often advocate economic policies that would not help these people, indeed, policies that often hurt them, they demonstrate respect by identifying with them culturally, religiously, emotionally.

Fools! They are just using you. As opposed to Democrats who revel in optimistic statistics that your kind will become a minority and die off soon. So you bitterly cling and they don’t need your vote.

So, the Great Sin of the Modern Left is elitism.

There is also another sin that was also highlighted this election: Racism.

I know this makes many uncomfortable but hear me out.

As if you haven’t heard the Modern Left’s talking points before.

Noncollege grad whites voted Trump. We’re smarter than you bigots

What percent of noncollege grad blacks or immigrants for third world socialist shitholes vote Democrat? Not worth mentioning.

CNN Scroll: How the election shined a light on American racism.

He wraps it all up with a tire necklace of bigotry around the necks of anyone who didn’t support the raw corruption of the Clinton Crime Family.

Frankly, I’m surprised if Zakaria can even see his reflection in a mirror.

This entire segment was utterly without merit save an interview with James Woolsey where he spanked Zakaria’s ass blood red over his views on the Iran deal.

100,000 People Forced At Gunpoint To Buy Unaffordable, Catastrophic Health Insurance

JournOList 2.0 continues unabated.

After a stunning defeat on Tuesday, the partisan Unimedia all decided this morning that 100,000 people forced to sign up during the open enrollment period for Obamacare, under threat of fine or imprisonment seizure of a nonexistent tax refund, is what a stunning success looks like.

To counter this propaganda, I ask that everyone who wants to repeal this law to drive with their headlights on tonight.

Time To Slow The EPA’s Roll

Gina McCarthy, Head Angry Lesbian at the EPA, plans on ramming a few billion more dollars in illegally instituted regulations before January.

I think it’s time for this Tyrant’s Apprentice to hear those magic words – You’re Fired:

“As I’ve mentioned to you before, we’re running — not walking — through the finish line of President Obama’s presidency,” EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy said in a staff memo obtained by the Washington Examiner after Trump was declared the winner of Tuesday’s election.

It’s kind of like watching the end of Killing Zoe where the gang successfully takes over the bank but has no plan to get away with the crime.

Perhaps teargassing the entire agency will raise awareness of the climate change that’s about to send each of them to the back of an unemployment line.

The Clean Power Plan itself is currently under court review after being temporarily stayed by the Supreme Court on Feb. 9 until all judicial review has concluded. Over half the nation is opposing the climate rules along with major industry groups and the coal industry. Trump has made repealing the EPA climate plan a key part of his first 100 days in office.

Before Obama took office, he demanded thst Congress pass and that Bush sign the original stimulus plan.

I see no reason why Trump can’t say “Nice doggie” to these rabid bitches and reference the existing court stay with the threat of beating their brains out with the biggest stick he can find.

Try to write one more regulation and you will be fired imediately on January 20th.

That seems fair. And then fire them anyway. They have unemployed millions on purpose and are void of human decency. Lois Lerners with green thumbs.

Better yet. Request a meeting with McCarthy and threaten to abolish it altogether for what she’s done.

You think you’re pulling a fast one on me? You are about to be the end of the agency you love.

Better still, show up unannounced at the agency and introduce yourself.

I just wanted to drop off some replacement pictures for the walls.

Sometimes the situation warrants a personal touch. Threaten to withhold their final paychecks and bring contempt charges along with revoking pensions for failing to comply with the court stay.

And again, do it anyway after January 20th. Lawlessness of public servants must be punished and threat of personal liability is the only thing that will curb it.

The Closing Debate Speech I Wish I Heard

These debates don’t make anyone but they can certainly break them. After a slugfest in Round 2, Round 3 ended in a decision that leaned to Clinton.

She’s a liar without question. A very well rehearsed one who makes her wrong point, sticks a cheap shot in, and gets out. Trump meanders.

When Wallace gave them each a final minute to make their case to a national audience, Trump wasn’t bad. It wasn’t on the fly. But it also didn’t give an overarching theme to his historic candidacy.

This was a Shining City On The Hill / Morning In America Moment and it got lost in topicality. It should have been crafted.

However, a powerful, savvy nationwide ad series could still be made and run to win fencesitters. And I think it would go like this:

My Fellow Americans,

This last year of my life has been one of the most fulfilling and frustrating that it has been my pleasure to endeavour.

Prior to running for The Office of The Presidency, a lot of my time has been spent between the coasts. But when I announced my candidacy, I knew it would run through the heartland of this country. Through the towns wrecked by regulations and listening to the people left voiceless by a government that seems to want to represent everyone else in the world except them.

At rally after rally, I looked into the eyes and spoke to The Forgotten Americans. The ones who go to work every day. Raise their kids. Go to church. People trying to do the right thing.

Every election they vote and every election the people they sent to Washington ignore them, ridicule them, and betray them with broken promises.

They’ve watched as the government sworn to defend them has invited an invasion from all over the world. Spent trillions overseas on farflung adventures where our interests are neither explained or counsel sought. And all of our self-described betters have left the world in a very dangerous place.

As our veterans die waiting in lines at the VA, career public servants become hundred millionaires.

This is not the way it was supposed to be.

Washington, DC holds the average American in contempt. They may be through with us, but by God we are not through with them.

I stand here today pledging my life, fortune, and honor to make this country great again. To bring accountability back to Washington for the first time in a generation.

I ask for your vote. On the 8th of November, make them remember. They work for all of us. And I pledge to fight for every one of you. On the 8th of November, make them remember.

What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

Well, that was disappointing. Be honest. For anyone who is DVRing the Presidential Debate and doesn’t want their independent judgment polluted with my observations, the door is the little back arrow on your browser.

For those pressed for time, Hillary won it. Not that it matters. And not that it was by much. If you’re a Trump supporter, you still support him. If you’re a Hillary supporter, you still support her. No one mortally wounded themselves. Lester Holt leaned towards Clinton in that he didn’t go after her on anything and did on a couple of pointed questions to Trump.

I keep hearing the first round of people saying Trump wasn’t prepared. I think anyone who watches this should arrive at the opposite conclusion. He looked like someone who was overprepared and because of that did not act like himself. Someone belt fed him information for the last week and he looked like someone struggling to remember what somebody told him was a good talking point but instead kept reverting to repetitious generalities.

Clinton, far too often, was able to get him on the defensive by talking about him personally or about his business practices. He couldn’t not move on and felt the need to get mired in the minutiae of his tax statements, financial disclosures, how he settled lawsuits from forty years ago, how he didn’t discriminate in hiring people at his Palm Beach resort, etc., etc. which played right into her wrinkly hands.

On far too many occasions, she lobbed big fat softballs right across homeplate and he sat staring because he was too busy trying to defend some previous accusation. Whether it was about charitable contributions, whether he was for the Iraq War, “healing the racial divide”, or a half dozen other questions – Trump came up short. Hillary stuck her glass jaw out on everything from trade deals, the Iran deal, taxing “the rich”, revoking gun rights over the terrorist watchlist, or how Trump treats women – he just didn’t fight it. In fact, he agreed with her on a couple of those points.

That whole series where he kept demanding someone to call Sean Hannity about how they argued about Iraq – where he said it about ten times (not hyperbole) – was the low point. Immediately after the debate he was back in Hannity’s loving echo chamber to complain. That’s not the sign of someone who won.

I’m wanting him to clean her clock and while he had a couple of good jabs there was nothing he said that rocked her much less sent her to the canvas that she is physically inclined to collapse on and have a seizure on if it’s a balmy 77 degree day. The part about releasing his tax returns when she produces the 33,000 e-mails she deleted was his high point and then he just dropped it.

She claimed she took full responsibility of the e-mail and the server which is total bullshit. Her staff plead the 5th and if Florida had half the immunity from Zika that the FBI gave her inner circle then I would be sitting on a beach right now. No one was fired. No one imprisoned. There is no taking responsibility if there are no consequences.

Too be certain, she was no peach either. Animatronic and rehearsed. Flailing about and throwing wild accusations about how he’s hiding something very, very bad in his tax returns. I fully expected him to hit her with the only charity she donated to is her own but it never happened. Or how she was “broke” in 2000 and worth $300MM by giving speeches filled with so many rhetorical rubies and diamonds that she can’t release them to the public.

Hitting her on her ritual abuse of women for the last 40 years. Never happened. Demanding to know what trade deal she put together to help Americans in her time as Secretary – Never happened. Asking her if Mitt Romney was right in 2012 about Russia now that she thinks they’re the world’s boogeyman and we need the 80s foreign policy back.

He went off on some tangent about “cyber”. You know, cybersecurity. And that his ten year old is so good with computers but that cyber is a very, very big deal that we need to be tough on. Not his best moment.

These debates likely aren’t going to change anyone’s mind who was already made up but the Donald Trump of tonight is not the guy his supporters have been used to seeing for the last year and a half. He wasn’t in command. He was defensive and completely out of his element.

So now that he’s going to be cornered, I’d expect the negative ads to start rolling out. Not a good performance. Clinton is predictable though and he needs someone to debate with who has her act down but can keep him relaxed, on point, and above it.

Cruz knows her arguments. I’m not saying to copy Cruz’s style. I am saying to bring him in for a couple of practice sessions so that the next time she gets sent to the mat early and stays down.

She had the nerve to say he called one of his beauty contestants Miss Piggy and he couldn’t bring up that she setup a warroom to destroy the lives of the women her husband raped or had affairs with for the last 30 years. Who was it who called Monica Lewinsky a stalker again? That glass chin is begging for fists of stone.

Better Late Than #NeverTrump

So, what should have happened four months ago finally happened yesterday. Cruz endorsed Trump. Trump accepted his endorsement. EverTrump/NeverCruz hates Cruz and rubs his face in it. NeverTrump/EverCruz is disappointed or having a sad about a sell-out. People in the middle are either glad this is out of the way, already gotten on board the Trump train, or decided to hold their nose because of Hillary.

Me? This is what I was holding out for.

Other than the timing, this is exactly what I said should have happened for the last few months. For all of the “art of the deal” bullshit talk, Trump found a way to nurture an acrimonious split of a not-insignificant portion of the Right’s base for the majority of the last six months.

Are those people going to forgive each other? The ones engaging in rhetorical knife fights in comments sections all over the internet since it got down to two candidates? I’m skeptical.

Thanks are due to Mike Pence for hammering out whatever peace there was to be made several weeks ago. That’s what he’s there for. To bury the hatchet with someone his boss lied about with relish for months on end. Who couldn’t be bought off with chicken nuggets like Mike Huckabee or plane rides and endless hors d’oeuvres like The Goodyear Christie?

An apology would do. A promise to consult on issues of importance.

Now that the marriage is complete – how do you consummate it? Hopefully by christening a champagne bottle across Hillary’s face and fucking The Left silly by taking out our pen and phone after November 8th to erase and mark through every illegal action, alphabet soup agency written law, signing statement, and Treaty-Not-Really-A-Treaty that the traitors have been running wild with since 2008.

And then prosecuting them until they’re destitute, incarcerated, or commit suicide. I’m good with all three though I do have my preferences.

Rodney Dangerfield For President

Rather his creation Al Czervik from Caddyshack, in actuality, being played to type by veteran character actor Donald Trump.

How better to describe GHW Bush gargling out his dying words intent to vote for the wife of the guy who beat him:

It’s one thing to object to Trump based on policy differences and a general belief that he toxifies the conservative message. It’s another thing to do it because he doesn’t belong in the toney company of the blue bloods. The Bush Family feels like American royalty, and they appear to see Trump as a nouveau riche blowhard. That feels elitist rather than principled. Nobody was surprised that the person who reported H.W. Bush’s voting choice was a Kennedy. That’s how the Bushes roll.

I’m reminded of a long forgotten article from Suck.com called “Caddyshack Culture” that could stand alone as an epitaph for the Republican Party. The gauche real estate developer crashing the intentionally named Bushwood Country Club with Trump voters rushing to the swimming pool for the hour a year they’re allowed to use it:

Caddyshack is about the way a new establishment replaces an old one, it’s not about the long tradition of golf. In this scenario, George W. is the WASP retard Spaulding (“Are you gonna eat your fat?”), grandson to Ted Knight’s patrician George Senior character. The country club in Caddyshack is named Bushwood, after all.

Trump is Al Czervik. The only difference is he does build golf courses. He speaks in generalities about his great business deals. Yea, we bought land near the Great Wall – on the good side! And they paid for the wall. He insults everybody and makes cutesy little nicknames for them.

When Bill Murray blew up the gopher holes and destroyed the old golf course, he blew open the doors for everyone to come in and play on the new one.

Suck.com may have been 16 years premature.

Dispatches From Early Adulthood

Today in history, Mike Pence set about the business of mending fences with the candidate who won over 550 delegates during the primary process about 4 months too late:

Mr. Pence sat down with Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, who lost the Republican presidential nomination to Mr. Trump but whose endorsement could help boost the Republican nominee’s standing with conservatives. Mr. Cruz was famously booed at the party’s convention in July after he declined to endorse Mr. Trump.

As I said repeatedly, this should have been resolved long before the convention. Trump didn’t give a shit because he’s not a conservative and didn’t care what Cruz had done since he’d been in office. Trump and Stone were eyeball deep in the wrong and didn’t GAF that there would be blowback.

Stone probably heard “blowbang” and made way for the nearest gloryhole.

Now that it’s a close race, it comes into focus that you need every vote you can get and constantly sticking a middle finger in the eye of a core constituency might not have been such a bright idea. Rocket surgery, ya’ll.

The only question now is – is it too little, too late?

Mr. Cruz didn’t respond to questions about whether he was any closer to endorsing his former rival. But he did lend a hand to the Republican nominee by echoing his attacks of Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s recent description of some Trump supporters as a “basket of deplorables.” Mr. Cruz said: “That level of contempt from a candidate for the people is really disappointing. It’s a level of condescension.”

Or as a Trumptard would say, “A full-throated endorsement of Hillary Clinton, Mr. Irrelevant!!111!@2!”

Of the meeting with Mr. Pence, Mr. Cruz said: ”It was a very very good meeting. Mike Pence is a good man. He’s a friend. He’s a strong conservative. I was grateful for his strong leadership and his strong support. We had a good and productive conversation.”

This would have been a great story a week or two after Cruz dropped out of the race in May. Instead, it’s been allowed to sit around a fester. People hardening positions on both sides. Trump bandwagoneers in a constant contest to see who can outdo each other with their TrusTED, BusTED, DisgusTED, Cubanadian-otherizing insults and me for seeing some duplicitous fuckfaces for what they really were.

We’ll see if Trump can keep his fat mouth shut long enough for his VP to do what VP’s do and broker a peace deal without blowing it up.

In related news, Rick Perry appeared on “Dancing With The Stars” and the NeverCruz pipedreams of him taking his Senate seat will disappear like Perry behind a sequined curtain masked by armpits drenched in flopsweat.

He’s an Executive ™ not a lowly legislator, dontchaknow?

Maybe a staunch conservative like Cornyn not endorsing him will still work. Fuckfaces.

If You Enjoy A Free Internet, Thank An Ineligible Cubanadian, Serial Adulterer/Killer, Son Of JFK’s Assassin

You lying, bearing false witness, fake Christian cocksuckers.

From the WSJ:

The good news is it appears congressional leaders have agreed to rescue the internet in time to prevent the Sept. 30 expiration of U.S. oversight. Sen. Ted Cruz, who has pushed hard against the plan since it was announced two years ago, told me last week he’s “cautiously optimistic” legislators will block it through a rider to the federal budget: “The basic proposition of keeping the internet free has united Republicans across the spectrum and should also unite Democrats with Republicans.”

Yep. Still fighting the good fight against The Globalists and The Establishment, of which I’ve been assured that he was one of them all along.

Meanwhile at this weekend’s Values Voters Summit:

Ted Cruz may have won the Values Voter Summit straw poll three years running, but attendees at this weekend’s social conservative gathering in Washington, D.C., weren’t happy with the Texas senator’s refusal to back Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Quite a departure. Winning their Summit three times in a row versus choosing a Bush Lied, anti-Iraq War, married three times Democrat.

Careful now. Your malleable “values” are showing.

Originally a supporter of Mr. Cruz, Mrs. Hawley, 61, said the senator’s personal feud with Mr. Trump was “very childish.”

“He’s a Christian, and Christians need to forgive,” Mrs. Hawley said. “I know Donald Trump offended him and his wife, but I think your country’s more important than holding onto those grudges.

Good thing Trump doesn’t hold grudges. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.

Forgive someone who asks for forgiveness.

The certain Christian needs to forgive unsolicited but the Baby Christian of Convenience need not humble himself in such a way as to ask for it.

Trump, Gayway Trumpette, Free Republic, and Breitbart news continue to lie about Cruz to this day.

This is like forgiving the person who is stabbing you in the chest while his friends rape your wife as it’s happening.

“I wouldn’t support him anymore,” she added. “That’s childish, and he needs to put our country first.”

Really. Was Trump going to support anyone who beat him? Never. Considering Trump’s recent road to Damascus conversion from Childish to Adult, I’d watch where you point your diaper finger.

“I was very disappointed in Ted Cruz, because he originally pledged that he would support the Republican candidate, and I was a supporter of Cruz, but then he came around and said it’s a matter of principle, and he can’t support Trump,” said Mr. Parker, 76. “But, wait a minute, you promised to support the candidate and now you won’t, because they said something about your family?

Yep. That is exactly why. And if you think that’s a BS excuse, go fuck your ugly, whore mother.

And I still expect your vote in naming me Blogger of the Year.

“I wouldn’t trust Cruz, because if he can change that quickly that easily, how can I know he won’t change again going down the road?” he said. “I think it will hurt him when he comes up for re-election.”

Think or hope it will hurt him?

He didn’t change. That’s your problem. He has values. He has principles. They didn’t break under the weight of every Establishment Republican blaming him for the government shutdown.

And they didn’t bend under pressure from the fairweather conservatives, fake Christians, or closet Populists masquerading as the “alt-Right” to endorse a fraud who gleefully attacked his wife and family and never apologized.

So much for being the adult in the room.

Enjoy your Internet Freedom, ingrates.

Tomorrow Is The Big Day (Part 2)

Has it been three weeks already?

Despite a Sumner County coward Judge giving Timothy Batts almost a month to get all of his Daddy Helping Powder (read: Cocaine) out of his system, tomorrow we will actually see if his $500k bond will be revoked for accidentally failing a surprise drug test after bonding out of jail for “accidentally” killing his daughter.

I say “accidentally” because how could a father not accidentally shoot his own four foot tall, preteen daughter in school clothes by mistaking her for an armed home invader at three in the afternoon on a sunny first day of school? And then lying about it.

Instead of being with her as she’s dying, he’s attending to hiding the weapon he never should have had as a felon.

As a sidenote, not one local media outlet has published a single story or interview regarding this trial since the Judge became Batts’ defense attorney. Last post I see is a WSMV blurb from August 29th.

Does the mother not have a say? A teacher? Friend of the family?

The quality of news in Nashville is less than pathetic. They’re too busy plumbing the depths of the unconcious racial bias by way of which spicy fried chicken joint you frequent rather than to expend any of their unlimited minutes or gas money to find out what happened to this little girl.

And why her father lied about it.