Technology

Palin Hacker Prepares To Run Backwards Through A Cornfield Naked

If it makes you feel any better, 99% of those corn cobs vote Democrat.

Don’t worry, Li’l Davey.  The state’s going to provide this Kernell all the butter and salt he needs.

A federal judge has shot down a former University of Tennessee student’s bid to have tossed out convictions in the illegal access of Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account during the 2008 presidential election.

[…]

Davies argued it was nothing more than a college prick prank by a rank assbag computer amateur. Federal prosecutors assigned a more sinister motive, arguing Kernell, the son of long-time Memphis Democratic state Rep. Mike Kernell, went searching for politically damaging information but came up empty-handed.

The feds slapped Kernell with four felony charges. At his trial in April jurors rejected a wire fraud charge outright, reduced a felony illegal e-mail access charge to a misdemeanor, deadlocked on an identity theft count and convicted Kernell of the felony charge of anticipatory obstruction of justice.

It’s always the “cover-up” that gets you.  It has dibs. But after the cover-up gets you then Jamal does.

Riddle me this:  If Li’l Davy gets his ass kernel popped in Cell block 6 will it make a sound?  I’m guessing yes.  First a wimper, followed by some open weeping before Big Bear’s squeaky bed springs gently rock him to sleep.  Maybe that will be more “his type”.

Night, night ya jag.  It’s a real shame that a few of your unscrupulous supporters can’t go with you in a show of solidarity.

U.N. Starts Screening It’s Calls, Let’s It Go To Voicemail

Come on, baby.  And I thought we had a good time the other night.  I was all up in your Kool-Aid.  You were helping me mix mine.  Don’t say you didn’t feel it too:

Obama Calls on U.N. to Punish North Korea Over Rocket

PRAGUE — President Obama said that North Korea violated international rules when it tested a rocket that could be used for long range missiles, and called on the Security Council to take action.

“This provocation underscores the need for action—not just this afternoon at the U.N. Security Council, but in our determination to prevent the spread of these weapons,” Mr. Obama said. “Rules must be binding. Violations must be punished. Words must mean something.”

Citing a recent internal U.N. poll, Secretary Bunky Moon notes that only 43% of members felt that “rules must be binding” while a crowded lunch table of 7% felt that words must mean something.  A staggering 82% felt we should invade Israel for having to answer this question in the first place.

In response to Mr. Obama’s calls to “do something”, the Secretary has asked several countries to volunteer setting up a scam foreign aid delegation to Pyongyang and commissioned a census of potential child refugees to entice other U.N. members to help in prospect of trading sex for food or medical care.

Caribbean Queen, Now We’re Sharing The Same Dream As Long As You Can Keep Your Mouth Shut

Jammie’s hiding boxers with Valentine’s Day hearts on them:

Barack Obama is the target of a shadowy smear campaign designed to derail his bid for the US Presidency by falsely claiming he had a close friendship with an attractive African-American female employee.

The whispers focus on a young woman who in 2004 was hired to work on his team for his bid to become a senator.

The woman was purportedly sidelined from her duties after Senator Obama’s wife, Michelle, became convinced that he had developed a personal friendship with her.

I guess this really is the new Camelot.

In the most commonly-purveyed version of the rumour, she was ‘exiled’ to a Caribbean island because Michelle Obama objected to her job on the 2004 campaign.

Caribbean queen
Now we’re sharing the same dream
And we steal votes just for fun
No more love for The One…

I lose my cool when she calls my campaign
And I get so excited when the press speaks her name
Square, digitally pixelated eyes that you can’t ignore
And passion burns like familiar cold sores.

I was in search of a good time
Just running my game
Michelle was the furthest
Furthest from my mind

Terrorist fist jab to Billy Ocean.

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