Trumptards Face The Puppy Blender

It’s been kind of entertaining watching Insty veer to the right during the Obama years.

He’s sat out a lot of the feuding following his addition of a comments section especially during the Rise Of Trump. But this morning’s troll of Trump’s statement criticizing the US on civil rights as an excuse to not condemn Erdogan’s violent purge of the remaining secularists in Turkey is sure to produce 300 comments:

Well, it’s a standard lefty talking point — those tend to come, ultimately, from Soviet propagandists whether the talkers know it or not, and usually they don’t — and it’s one that’s been echoed by President Obama with his reminders to Americans not to get on our high horse (the Crusades, you know) and his disparaging of American exceptionalism.

The big news here is that a Republican candidate is saying it, but then, Trump spent most of his life as a Democrat.

He’s not just been a lifelong Democrat. He’s repeating Soviet propagandist talking points Democrats have been using for years. Perhaps some salt on that wound will help?

It’s ok though because Wall ™ and America’s going to be great again or something.

Reynolds isn’t wrong. It’s just odd that he’s deciding to take this tack so soon after the RNC convention given how many of his readers and commenters are still rolling around in the post-coital Cleveland cuddle puddle.

It’s Called Mempiss For A Reason

So I guess Kellogg’s can change their Frosted Flakes mascot to Tony The Tinkler:

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A video has surfaced on the Internet of a man urinating on a Kellogg assembly line.

It happened in 2014 at a facility in Memphis, Kellogg spokesperson Kris Charles said.

The video was uploaded by worldstarhiphop.com. Its content is highly graphic.

Kellogg is looking into the incident, and the FDA has started a criminal investigation.

The video was shot during the same time the company and the workers union fell into a nasty labor dispute and those employees were locked out.

At least it wasn’t the pipelayers union.

But if you’ve eaten Rice Krispies in the last year and a half, chances are they were impacted by the pouty union’s tinkle tirade. Not that they’re going to have jobs anyway when that plant closes and they’re put out on a permanent bathroom break.

Thanks again, Mempiss for living down to your reputation and up to your name.

Six Meat Facebook Sirloin Tip Of The Day

Maybe it’s the holiday weekend, I just don’t know, but I feel the need to offer this bit of unsolicited social media advice to no one in particular:

When you post on Facebook or wherever how happy you are with your husband, wife, family, blah, blah, blah – we all know that means that you just had a fight and are teetering on the edge of breaking up or getting a divorce. That this public professing of your undying, altruistic love and spiritual fulfillment somehow masks that you know your significant other monitors your Facebook postings and friends like a jealous hawk.

But that this highly public declaration will soothe and balm the nerves of whatever just happened. I assure you – it does not and now we all know. The more over-the-top the declaration, the sooner the separation. It would have to be with such ham-fisted attempts to manipulate.

Please stop. Both volunteering to lie to others and yourself. Keep your shit tight and work it out in private. Nothing ever gets better by inviting the world into your own personal problems.

You’re welcome.

Tennessee Escapes The Tyranny of Good Intentions

Insure Tennessee dies a natural death in the Tennessee state legislature.

Tennessee will not expand health benefits to hundreds of thousands of low-income residents, with state senators rebuking Gov. Bill Haslam’s controversial health care proposal.

The Senate Health and Welfare Committee voted against passing Haslam’s Insure Tennessee. Only four of the 11 committee members voted in favor of the plan.

The vote comes minutes after House Speaker Beth Harwell said she doesn’t think there are enough votes in the House to pass the plan.

“I don’t think I have the support,” Harwell told reporters as she walked away from the House chamber Wednesday.

Sweet freedom. Now Governor Haslam can go back to working with Mayor Bloomberg on taking our guns away.

The End of America Sale – Everything Must Go, Go, Go!

A bit of a break from my usual type of post.  Today, I attended both a gun show and the Gun Appreciation Day rally in Nashville.  Both were depressingly optimistic and for different reasons.  The latter for a sparse crowd due from poor planning and lack of advertising to being scheduled during 3 other large events downtown.  The former for the exact opposite.

Hendersonville Line UPSorry, Detroit:  They aren’t here for food stamps and Section 8 vouchers.

The gun show was fully prepared for a large crowd.  I arrived a half hour prior to opening and there were already lines of people down the block at all of their fairgrounds entrances.  I’d estimate today’s crowd to be 10,000 – 15,000.  A gentleman in front of me said that he had attended a show in Franklin, TN the prior week and that while Saturday was jampacked that Sunday was much lighter.  To be certain, Saturday is for bitterly clinging to your gun and Sunday is for bitterly clinging to your religion.  Also, the shelves were cleaned out by Sunday anyway so playoff football for the agnostics.  By the time I left two hours later, I could barely get out of my parking spot and the lot itself was clogged all the way to the main road out where a line of cars were waiting in traffic all the way down the street just to get into the parking lot.

If the Gun Appreciation Day rally at the War Memorial Plaza had a crowd the size of the Hendersonville Gun Show it would have been an unequivocal and unignorable success.  As such, I would put a number between 500-600.  Despite the fact that there did not appear to be any charismatic leader or structure aside from the few speakers taking their turn to say “don’t tread on me” and one enthusiastic attendee encouraged to participate in the government’s efforts at confiscation one bullet at a time.  No PA system.  Only a shared megaphone.

Gun Appreciation Day Nashville

These events should ostensibly be catering to the same crowd and while one is talking about doing the other IS actually doing.  I support the 2nd Amendment versus I-am-going-to-buy-a-bunch-of-guns-and-ammo-this-instant.  That’s a lot more Do-ey and a lot less Talk-y going on.  Actions speak louder.

Why couldn’t they be at the same place or same general area?   A pooling of interests to the benefit of all.  I’ll digress on that point.

However, I am disgusted by the behavior of the dealers at these gun shows.  Utterly and completely.  365 days a year they peddle the Land of the Free and you’ll take my guns from my cold dead hands bullshit but then, when the government actually starts to threaten both their livelihoods, their customers, their future and their purported value system, it’s like trying to buy a gallon of clean water at the Super Dome on Katrina Day 3.  Price gouging is not capitalism no matter how many amber waves of panic-buying suckers you extort.

I left without buying so much as a single shell and all of the dealers can eat the peanuts as they say.  I heard of some guy buying 100 rounds of .38 special for $80.  Unless they are coated with mercury and Super AIDS, a sucker and his money were lucky to get together in the first place.

Bullet prices doubled in less than two weeks.  I bought a Saiga 12 gauge shotgun six weeks ago for $630.  This week?  From the same exact dealer, the same exact shotgun – $1189.  Used SKS’s – $550.00.  Brand new AK-47’s – $900-$1100.  200% markup is currently the rule and while the commies may cheer that the gun nuts pockets are getting lighter, this is where my optimism comes in:  If your money is worthless, these commodities have a value beyond rubies.  This country is armed to the fucking teeth.  A gun for every hand and foot.  The worst that can happen to the gun nuts is that a ban doesn’t go into effect.  The value of their investments would plummet immediately.  But we know that is not going to happen.  Obama Organizing for UnAmerica is trying to manufacture consent through legislator intimidation what Coward In Chief doesn’t have the guts to say himself despite his media apparatchiks laying down suppressing fire through their high capacity news magazines and video clips.

We seem to be one event away from a flashpoint and people are more prepared now than they were six months ago.  A sadly good thing.  Sad that that’s where we are and good that they are more prepared for it.   All it takes is some enterprising yahoo to apply the Bush Doctrine to some gungrabbers or for the gungrabbers to Lead From Behind on some unsuspecting citizen.  They are coming for you.  Why wait for them to fire the first shot?  If they truly thought the Right was a bunch of crazies they would seek to placate them as much as they do the real terrorists in Libya, Egypt and everywhere else.  Hell, they’d give you the gun!

Times Is Up Fool

You’ve got to earn their capitulance.  This is just behaviorism.  Our government is spending your tax money to arm Mexican drug cartels and al Qaeda in Libya and Syria without a second thought.  American citizens spending their own money to exercise their rights is cause for alarm though.  Who’s the real enemy again?

Can Peyton Manning Lower The Employment Rate?

Only if he drops out of the work force permanently:

It is so sad and so hard to write it again, but it’s true: Peyton Manning is done in Indianapolis.

After listening to Manning Monday night, after listening to owner Jim Irsay characterize Manning Thursday as “a politician” who should keep his concerns “in house,” there’s no other conclusion to be reached by a sane, sober human being: Manning’s days in Indianapolis are over, and they have been over for quite some time. On a day when the introduction of Chuck Pagano as the Colts new head coach should have been the story, Irsay stole the headlines.

The NFL is a cut-throat industry where the all-American, clean living, do-everything-right poster boy for your organization and the League is tossed out in the street so a mediocre team like the Colts can hope to get Luck-y by throwing the dick of their future on the craps table of the next Draft?  Say it ain’t so!

My heart aches for the state of Indiana.  For about two seconds.  Any way.

If anyone in earshot can communicate this to Manning:  Come home to Tennessee.

Quit designing video games and do it for real.  The University of Tennessee is in such a state of disrepair that they’re having to layoff police officers because the team isn’t even worth arresting anymore.  That burglary is going unsolved.

Take this game to another level.  Use UT to be a flagship student-athlete program where you recruit the talent and bring them up through the ranks to create a next NFL generation with a little more humility and a little less pitbull fighting.

Be the anti-Spurrier.


When Hope Came To Town

And left about November 4th.

You tell me. Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?

Obama Headquarters on Rosa Parks Boulevard – October 7, 2008


I think about this every day when I drive by this prime piece of real estate a stone’s throw from the state capitol and across the street from the Farmer’s Market.  Three and a half years later.

Elections have consequences

Lots of consequences


He’s like King Midas.  Except that everything he touches turns to shit.

Who does this strip mall think it is doing impersonations of a White House event for CEOs?

Fret Not, America: ***LIVE*** From the We Stand With Gibson Rally

Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn warns the bikers over their carbon emissions.

Live simulcast starts at 1PM CST through the official We Stand With Gibson site.

What is it about American Exceptionalism that the soon-to-be ex-President Urkel H. Anti-Christ, Jr. hates so much?  Much like the impetus for the astroturfed “Occupy Wall Street” mob scenes, it has a lot to do with whether your check cleared the DNC.  Like the radio payola scandals, it also appears that federal agents are taking requests with mercenary aplomb from the far Left end of your dial.

The abbreviated version is that earlier this year Obama’s eco-stormtroopers at the hilariously misnamed US Dept. of Fish and Wildlife attacked the guitar manufacturer during a daring daylight raid, guns draw on employees, out of fear that Gibson’s inventory of awesome would have been flushed down their toilets had they simply knocked on the door with a search warrant.

Makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?  I mean it’s not selling automatic weapons to Mexican Drug Cartels in order to pin gang violence on US gun owners but it’s a nice touch.

At issue seems to be that Gibson employs documented American citizens to do some fit and finish work on the wood used in their instruments.  Americans who should be drawing patriotic unemployment checks. 

In an interview with Beck radio affiliate KMJ 105.9 in Fresno, California, Juszkiewicz told host Chris Daniel that the government made the point “explicitly:”

CHRIS DANIEL:  Mr. Juszkiewicz, did an agent of the US government suggest to you that your problems would go away if you used Madagascar labor instead of American labor?

HENRY JUSZKIEWICZ:  They actually wrote that in a pleading.

CHRIS DANIEL:  Excuse me?

HENRY JUSKIEWICZ:   They actually wrote that in a pleading.

CHRIS DANIEL:  That your problems would go away if you used Madagascar labor instead of our labor?

HENRY JUSKIEWICZ:  Yes, yeah. They said that explicitly.

It’s not that the wood is harvested from the Tree of Souls from Avatar though if it were it would probably rock your face off and simultaneously get your cats pregnant.  And it’s not that a foreign government lodged a complaint.  No, US Fish and Wildlife decided to pro-actively enforce another country’s laws and pervert one of our own when the other country did not think it was a problem.  Gee, I wonder why.

One of Gibson’s leading competitors is C.F. Martin & Company. The C.E.O., Chris Martin IV, is a long-time Democratic supporter, with $35,400 in contributions to Democratic candidates and the DNC over the past couple of election cycles. According to C.F. Martin’s catalog, several of their guitars contain “East Indian Rosewood.” In case you were wondering, that is the exact same wood in at least ten of Gibson’s guitars.

The Gibson facility wasn’t raided over allegations of tax evasion, charges of embezzlement, or even something as drab as child labor. Not even close. It was raided over what the DOJ deems an inability to follow a vague domestic trade law in India (one that apparently the Indian government didn’t seem too concerned about enforcing) regarding a specific type of wood. Not illegal wood, just wood with obscenely specific procedural guidelines.

While armed federal agents assert prosecutorial discretion to enforce another country’s protectionist laws.  We all know what this is.  The same thing that happened to car dealerships that contributed to Republicans after the bailout.  The same thing that happened to Ford when the White House demanded that they retract their anti-bailout commercials.

The Chicago Way may be fine for blues music and deep dish pizza but it’s  un-American in a Presidency.

Everybody lend your support to this international icon today being forced to decide whether they should  layoff all of it’s US employees to stay in the good graces of our Gangster Government or fight the good fight until this administration is thrown out on its red diaper rash in 13 months.
B-Mac Update: (more…)

I Hate Saying I Told You So

We’re a little over a year removed from the Great Nashville Flood of 2010.  Through it all, I remember the countless visions of neighbors helping neighbors.    That didn’t include Police Chief Ronal Serpas who abandoned the city a week after the rains hit for greener, golder and purpler pastures.

No, that was the first sign that the city was recovering.  As I watched the turd of his ascendancy, buoyed by the rising waters of the Cumberland River, as it floated towards the bowl of New Orleans – I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them

May 15th, 2010 “And This Little Piggy Went Wee, Wee, Wee All The Way Home”

What has happened (to New Orleans)recently???  I’m at a loss unless…wait…there was something that happened just this last week:

Nashville Police Chief Ronal Serpas takes job in New Orleans

Did the bouquet resemble fried bologna, Old Spice, jowl sweat and feet?  Because if it did, I think we’ve found our culprit.

For a city that prides itself on bacchanalian revelry, the stale sock of Chief Teetotaler is about to drape across the nose of your good time for the foreseeable future.

I’d say to prepare for the jump in violent crime and unsolved murders too (our’s is close to 40% now), but thanks to the Legacy of Naginomics you all should be ready to make that drunken, hobo stumble into Chicago gangland numbers.

Congratulations to your up and coming funeral home industry and may it replace all the French Quarter businesses forced to close once he starts enacting the same DUI laws that he did here.

Damn, it sucks to be so right.


New Orleans murder studies show rate is 10 times national average

Published: Saturday, March 26, 2011, 1:45 PM


How prevalent is it? How do police stop it? What can be done?

The two analyses, the result of months-long studies conducted late last year by the federal government, attempt to shed light on the myriad factors that conspire to make New Orleans the nation’s most murderous city.

With reams of data and statistics, federal experts determined that New Orleans’ homicide rate is 10 times higher than the national rate and five times higher than the rate for comparably sized cities.

This is just for starters.  Serpas has only been there a year.  His solution is going to be to break out a computer and start feeding it garbage statistics to make you forget all those bodies you’ll be seeing on the news every night by putting a COMSTAT graphic on the Internet to make you think he’s doing something.  And prepare  for a full-scale assault by NOPD to bring the full, pedantic force of traffic law enforcement down on the heads of the citizenry scofflaws  to solve the murder problem.

It makes sense as Serpas was recently and curiously cleared of any wrongdoing in a scandal where the contract for reviewing traffic tickets was awarded to his best friend and a myriad of other double-dipping, doling out sweetcake off-duty police work assignment scandals that might sink the average bullshitter.

Indeed, NOLA.  It sucks to be you.  Flush Serpas now before he starts lulling you into a false sense of security by repeatedly defining rapes and sexual assaults  down to “Matters Of Record” like he did to juke the stats here.



Al Qaeda’s Poll Tax Disenfranchises Local Jihadi

Tennessee took a step towards cleaner elections this week with the passage of a Voter ID bill that burdens those citizens exercising their franchise with the same requirements as those to buy cigarettes and alcohol.  In other words, a “backdoor poll tax” as demagogued by local white trash House Democratic Caucus Chairman Mike Turner.

Poll Taxes, it seems, are breaking out all over in the mid-state.  Take the plight of this at-risk youth:

NASHVILLE, Tenn.A former TSU student on trial for murder in Arkansas said he killed a man in East Nashville in 2006.

Abdulhakim Muhammad is accused of killing one Army soldier and wounding another outside a military recruiting station in 2009. He’s now confessed to shooting a Nashville man as part of a “Jihad Operation.”

The father of Carlos Bledsoe believes his son became an extremist Muslim during his time in Nashville.

Muhammad did travel to Yemen after attending Tennessee State University. He said he is a member of Al-Qaeda, but detectives haven’t found any proof of that claim.

In other words, Defendant Muhammad’s undocumented membership in Al Qaeda has denied him Allah’s glory by our racist police department.  The failure of both Al Qaeda and the state of Tennessee to preserve Mr. Muhammad’s civil rights and to allow him to express himself fully because of his minority status calls back to the days of Jim Crow, Bull Connor, firehoses and german shepherds.  Selma ™ even.

Of course, Mr. Muhammad was in no way radicalized by Nashville’s peace palace the Al-Farooq Islamic Center whose annual Hate Crime Hoax performance art has entertained and educated the city through their self-deprecating DIY vandalism. The Al-Farooq Peace Palace has also posted a strongly worded rebuke to Mr. Muhammad’s black father of “malicious, xenophobic allegations”.

Al-Farooq Islamic Center would like to take this opportunity to refute strongly the malicious, xenophobic allegation purpoted against our center during the congressional hearing addressing homegrown islamic terrorism. As many of you might have heard, a certain mr. Melvin Bledsoe, have accused our center of teaching radicalism to our kids. These allegations are not only baseless, but they are also absurd and contrary to what Al-Farooq Islamic Center stands for.

Well that settles that.  When a 19 year old converts to Islam and wins an all expenses paid trip to a terrorist training camp in Yemen and returns to murder a US soldier at a recruiting facility then  it was obviously underwritten by his summer lawn mowing business and at the urging of those no-goodniks at the Elks Lodge.

I hope the Nashville City Paper, the Nashville Scene and The Nashville Post (ed: I repeat myself) will run cover story after cover story to bring attention to the plight of our state’s under-documented Islamic jihadi enthusiasts.

If they don’t get free government issued IDs so that we can identify the real ones from the pretenders then those really dangerous Nazi, KKK Republicans have already won or something.


Was Mary Mancini Not Available?

Ron Ramsey is officially too stupid to remain Lt. Governor of Tennessee. Quite a feat in and of itself.

How else to explain naming a Liberadio-ing, democrat voting, Daily Kossifying, Dave Weigel worshipping, never-miss-an-opportunity-to-cheap-shot-a-conservative House Donkey like Adolph Klanheider to be his Communications Director?

To paraphrase The Godfather:

Don Corleone: [kisses Michael] Listen, whoever comes to you with this Klainheider recommendation, he’s the traitor. Don’t forget that.

You’re going to live to regret putting the enemy in charge of your message, Boots.

Palin Hacker Prepares To Run Backwards Through A Cornfield Naked

If it makes you feel any better, 99% of those corn cobs vote Democrat.

Don’t worry, Li’l Davey.  The state’s going to provide this Kernell all the butter and salt he needs.

A federal judge has shot down a former University of Tennessee student’s bid to have tossed out convictions in the illegal access of Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account during the 2008 presidential election.


Davies argued it was nothing more than a college prick prank by a rank assbag computer amateur. Federal prosecutors assigned a more sinister motive, arguing Kernell, the son of long-time Memphis Democratic state Rep. Mike Kernell, went searching for politically damaging information but came up empty-handed.

The feds slapped Kernell with four felony charges. At his trial in April jurors rejected a wire fraud charge outright, reduced a felony illegal e-mail access charge to a misdemeanor, deadlocked on an identity theft count and convicted Kernell of the felony charge of anticipatory obstruction of justice.

It’s always the “cover-up” that gets you.  It has dibs. But after the cover-up gets you then Jamal does.

Riddle me this:  If Li’l Davy gets his ass kernel popped in Cell block 6 will it make a sound?  I’m guessing yes.  First a wimper, followed by some open weeping before Big Bear’s squeaky bed springs gently rock him to sleep.  Maybe that will be more “his type”.

Night, night ya jag.  It’s a real shame that a few of your unscrupulous supporters can’t go with you in a show of solidarity.

People For The Ethical Treatment of Allah

Not ones to let an opportunity to publicity whore go unmolested, however tangential.  Those meth-worn lot lizards of PETA have hiked up their skirts and are flashing their road beef tofu at passersby at the site where the Non-Existent Hate Crime didn’t take place at the Islamic Center in Murfreesboro to Raise Awareness ™.  Of what?  I have no idea.

I’m sure it’s only unintentional that their organization, which is about as anti-human as they come, would consider Muslims to be animals in need of protection.  Yet, there they are:

PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk asked Sheikh Ossama Bahloul on Thursday if the organization could place a sign at the construction site promoting compassion and understanding for all individuals.”The artwork features images of peas arranged to represent different religious symbols, including the Christian cross, the Muslim star and crescent, the Hindu Aum, and the Jewish Star of David, and reads, ‘Give Peas a Chance”

Oh, that’s right.  They went there.  Visual Whirled Peas.  

“Human beings of all nationalities and religions often feel powerless in the face of all the discrimination and violence in the world, yet every time that we sit down to eat, we can help stop suffering by choosing a nonviolent meal,” the PETA president adds. “While opting for a veggie burger or falafel over a chicken kebab or steak sandwich won’t create instant global peace, it will reduce the sum total of suffering and make one think about what more is possible.”

Non-violence starts on your plate.  If only those 19 hijackers had been eating a soy burger they wouldn’t have crashed those carbon-chugging jet planes into the Twin Mosque Centers in New York and the Mosque Prayer Room at the Pentagon before crashing Flight 93 into the mosque field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

Of course, PETA was always willing to look the other way when it came to their friends in Big Pea.  Jim “The Jolly Green Giant” Scofield had long been dogged by scandal after it was revealed that he harvested his crop with the help of illegal child labor.

Guillermo “Sprout” Lopez’s tell-all book “Little Hands:  An Immigrant’s Tale” aimed for the hearts but hit the stomachs after an OSHA investigation revealed working conditions that culminated in the 1993 E. Coli outbreak that the pea industry has never fully recovered from and a DHS report of “sexual battery by an authority figure” that netted Mr. Scofield a 13 year sentence at a federal maximum security prison in Adelanto, California.  He’s slated for parole just in time for the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  How convenient.

But Ms. Newkirk would probably prefer to forget that sad chapter in her zealous attempts to lobby for Big Pea.

As Lopez’s courtroom testimony confirmed, “He would get Peas whenever he quit fighting”.

The Obama Anti-Terrorism Plan Works Like A Charm Again!

It’s like the climax getaway scene in Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry where Vic Morrow (though not half-black or wearing a safety helmet)  is chasing after Peter Fonda and Susan George (two white, non-Muslims I might add) and he can’t quite nab them but he gets so inside of their heads that they screw themselves up.

That’s O’bama’s Luck of the Irish.   The Man In Command.  And this is going to make you feel so much better about airport security.

Two men taken off a Chicago-to-Amsterdam United Airlines flight in the Netherlands have been charged by Dutch police with “preparation of a terrorist attack,” U.S. law enforcement officials tell ABC News.

U.S. officials said the two appeared to be travelling with what were termed “mock bombs” in their luggage. “This was almost certainly a dry run, a test,” said one senior law enforcement official.

Not to worry, not to worry.  Both men only made it through two U.S. airports in Chicago and Birmingham, allowed to board both planes with mock bombs, multiple cellphones, large knives, box cutters and thousands in cash and they were still allowed to fly to Amsterdam.  I feel better already about this TSA agent fisting my prostate and having to wear pajamas and slippers to the airport while getting strip searched alongside some nuns from Dubuque and a kid with asthma in a wheelchair.

Meanwhile, Jethro the Security Guard is allowed to use the body scanner to take naked pictures of you and your kids and send them to his home e-mail account to jerk to and share with his friends later.

Though ABC News fails to identify the particular religious affiliation of these as yet Innocent Until Proven Guilty* ™ suspects,  Ahmed Mohamed Nasser al Soofi and Hezem al Murisi, they did mention that one is from Yemen which is widely known for its militant, rightwing teabagger Christianist population.

Because you see, we can jump to conclusions about some people and not others.

As we’ve seen with the Kentucky Census Worker case, you can blame limited government conservatives and accuse them of murder, try and convict them with zero evidence.  And never issue a correction.

You can be a leftwing Talking Points Memo blogger and firebomb and Democrat’s campaign office and they’ll blame Tea Partiers.

Or, you can be a lifelong Democrat who calls yourself a Tea Partier and makes a bunch of racist comments to smear them buy association.  It’s not like Professional Journalists with layers of fact-checkers are ever going to investigate who you are before they smear conservatives with their false narratives.

So when a fire mysteriously starts at a jihad training camp and the national media immediately jumps to the conclusion that some Constitution-loving, Patriotard has been stoking his anger after a long night of banging his head to Lee Greenwood and tracing his trigger finger around his leatherbound Glenn Beck transcripts that you’re going to have to excuse me for being a bit skeptical that a movement so paranoid about people making it look like a bunch of hillbilly racists would so easily play into the enemy’s hands when their enemies have such a history of planting the evidence on them.

Just because you’re comfortable with you bicyc-uality doesn’t mean I am.

Who’s up for another vacation?!?

Fighting Terrorism One Toke At A Time

For all the talk about weening our dependence on foreign oil, it’s about time we had someone choked off our dependence off from foreign drugs.  Take that, al Qaeda:

A man busted for growing marijuana in Trousdale County said he was helping the country fight terrorism.

the man told him he had seen former President George W. Bush once say that people who buy drugs off the street were supporting terrorism, so he decided to grow his own.

So long, Afghan Kush.  Unleash America’s agricultural might and subdue our enemies at the same time with strategic strikes of blu-ray players, boxed sets of That 70’s Show and then when their knees are wobbly and their basement couches are broken in,  carpetbomb them with Reese’s Peanut Butter cups.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!  We might not be able to put a man on the moon (now anyways), plug an oil leak or balance a check book but dammit if we can’t grow a weed, with 10% unemployment and when nobody can make a dollar or a cent, then we might as well throw the towel in.

And This Little Piggy Went Wee, Wee, Wee…All The Way Home

New Orleans has a problem with stank.   Not to confuse our seven readers, but a new stank – not the old one.

I’m going to question the timing:

NEW ORLEANS — At almost 300 years old, somewhat moldy from the remnants of Hurricane Katrina and surrounded by muddy water and swamps, this city is not exactly known for being lemony fresh.

But from the French Quarter to New Orleans East, people here have been complaining about a tinge to the air that is unsettling even by local standards.

What has happened recently???  I’m at a loss unless…wait…there was something that happened just this last week:

Nashville Police Chief Ronal Serpas takes job in New Orleans

Did the bouquet resemble fried bologna, Old Spice, jowl sweat and feet?  Because if it did, I think we’ve found our culprit.

For a city that prides itself on bacchanalian revelry, the stale sock of Chief Teetotaler is about to drape across the nose of your good time for the foreseeable future.

I’d say to prepare for the jump in violent crime and unsolved murders too (our’s is close to 40% now), but thanks to the Legacy of Naginomics you all should be ready to make that drunken, hobo stumble into Chicago gangland numbers.

Congratulations to your up and coming funeral home industry and may it replace all the French Quarter businesses forced to close once he starts enacting the same DUI laws that he did here.

Misleading By Example

Frank Rich, who usually writes for the NY Times earlier in the week in blackface under the name “Charles Blow”, is up to his rote antics this week in condemning the mote in Fox News’s eye (and everybody else really) for not paying enough attention to the real Big Story this week while ignoring the beam in his own:

They Don’t Report. You Don’t Have to Decide.

Published: May 8, 2010

“DESPITE the major environmental disaster unfolding in the Gulf and the attempted terror attack on New York’s Times Square, President Obama spent his Saturday night laughing it up at the White House Correspondents Dinner,” griped Sean Hannity of Fox News last week. His complaint is not inaccurate. But it’s hardly the whole story.

Here’s the time line from last Saturday. At 6:30 p.m. the abandoned Nissan Pathfinder was found smoking in Times Square. Relevant public officials marooned at the correspondents dinner in Washington quickly got word. Over the next hour and a half, several news organizations spread it as well while Times Square was evacuated. To clear the Broadway theater district at curtain time on Saturday night isn’t like emptying a high school; it’s a virtual military operation. By 8 p.m., the crossroads of the world looked like a ghost town, yet if you tuned in to a cable news network, it wasn’t news. No one seemed to know or to care. On MSNBC, which I was watching, it didn’t even merit a mention on a crawl.

The real news story was that Rich was lotioning himself up to Rachel Maddow and Ed Schultz re-runs on MSNBC that Saturday night.  Shocker, really.  Imagine how people in Nashville felt on May 3rd when they were flooded on May 1st without a week’s worth of warning like Katrina victims had.

Apparently little short of King Kong climbing up 30 Rock could have grabbed the network’s attention. When MSNBC did take a brief break from the dinner for news updates at 9:30, Times Square didn’t make the cut. Whether this was due to ignorance, ineptitude or an unwillingness to play party pooper is a distinction without a difference. Real-time coverage of Leno bombing (since when is that news?) mattered more than any actual bombs. Only as the dinner wound down, at 10:54, did MSNBC at last muster a “breaking news” bulletin about the Times Square story that had in fact been breaking for hours.

The gist of Frank’s typical navel-gazing seems to be that during the White House Correspondent’s Dinner last weekend that the attempted Times Square bombing had not garnered flood-the-zone coverage between the time Faisal Shahzad’s burning Pathfinder was found at 6:30pm and the clearing out of Times Square by 8:00pm.

Does the national news need to be alerted every time a car catches on fire in New York?

Can anyone honestly claim that the attempted Times Square bombing hasn’t gotten wall-to-wall, 24/7 coverage this last week?

Shahzad’s name doesn’t even appear in Rich’s column at all.  Nor does “Islam” or “jihad” as long as we’re judging sins of omission.

What constitutes Rich’s “closing argument” in his indictment against Fox News, et. al shows he is as guilty as he is clueless:

As we venerate the heroic street vendors who gave America its reality check last weekend, we should remember that they were the first to report what was happening in Times Square and that those covering and attending the White House Correspondents Dinner were the last.

While mentioning the Iceland volcano, Hurricane Katrina, the gulf oil spill and lamenting (of all people) the lack of civility in American politics, Rich failed to note there was some other story going on last week as well out there in Teabagger Country.  Something about the largest non-hurricane disaster in US history didn’t warrant even a passing acknowledgment in a full page op/ed about ignoring major news stories because they didn’t happen at a Manhattan intersection.

But screw those people, right Frankie?  The NY Times has consistently pressed the snooze button through every wake-up call the American people have given them on getting their news reporting right.

Better late than never.  Which is what we got.