Day 7 – Obama Imitates Me Imitating Obama Being a Lazy Ass, Disrespectful Mofo Completely Unsuited For His Title.
Of course, when I posted the Day 5 Update making fun of Teh Won’s proclivity to find a way to play golf when he should be doing anything else there was always a kernel of truth in the jibe.
Suffice it to say, I was merely showcasing my legendary clairvoyance:
Obama plays golf while wife speaks in Arkansas
By The Associated Press
Saturday, May 8, 2010 at 12:50 p.m.
WASHINGTON â€” President Barack Obama is playing golf while his wife, Michelle, delivers a college commencement speech in Pine Bluff, Ark.
The president watched his daughter Malia play soccer Saturday before heading to the Fort Belvoir course to play golf.
If I were a Democrat in Nashville I would be a bit put off by the snub.Â But that’s just me.Â I have pride and self-respect.Â Your mileage may vary.
Day 5 -Â Waffler-In-Chief Update: When asked to respond on the status of federal efforts to the billions in damage due to the Tennessee floods, Joe Cool (aka “Mr. Wonderful Hussein Obama”) took a break from a round of golf to do his job, “Listen you filthy crackers, I just lost a Titleist to the water hazard on a Par 4 AND I haven’t even had my waffle today so don’t imply that I don’t know about hardship. Â We’ve been there since Day 1.*”
Newbusters notes the anemic attention.
It is being reported that Nashville flood victims have begun eating each other and raping babies on the feces-strewn floor of Bridgestone Arena. My hands tremble as I write this.
Dramatic Re-enactment as verified by Randall Robinson.
After initial reports of explosions that rocked the J. Percy Priest dam had been confirmed, investigators were fired upon by black helicopters as they attempted to survey the extent of the damage. Was it an underwater scuba explosives team? Who can say? All who attempted to find the truth were murdered in cold blood and have been stacked up and used for kindling in the parking lot of the Stewart’s Ferry Pike Cracker Barrel.
The West End P.F. Chang’s rivals Pol Pot’s Killing Fields as the littered bones of the damned tinkle and clink throughout the dining room floor in a near genocidal concerto.
Though widespread looting has become the norm, even the most crestfallen native wept in horror as the police department commandeered vehicles at Crest-Hummer-Cadillac on Rosa Parks Blvd., abandoned the citizenry and waited the storm out at the Harrah’s Metropolis while gambling with money stolen from the pockets of the dead.
When reached for comment three days after the flood, FEMA underlingÂ W. Craig Fugate fumed, “Hold your brewed water you fucking teabagging faggots.Â We’ll get there when we get there.Â Don’t think we weren’t keeping score, brother.”
Despite the large African-American population in Nashville, their skin color has been of little help in ameliorating the media blackout that has been transfixed on an alleged bomber, one Pakistani Tea Partier who failed to cause even a single papercutÂ in New York because authorities were clearly in control of the situation at all times thanks to good ole fashioned police work.
Thousands are still waiting on their roofs at this very moment for a glimpse of Sean Penn to rescue them from the swelling rivers they inherited from the Bush administration.
The Shoney’s in Bellevue may still be underwater but you can get all your Nashville Flood news updates from Six Meat Buffet as it is invented.
DAY 4!!! – w00t! We’re up to 373 Google News hits on “Obama Tennessee Flood”
Heckuva Job, Barry.