The Filthy French

Sins Of Omission

It’s all too familiar to see someone lose their job or be shamed at a national level for making an intemperate or truthful, though politically incorrect, comment on social media.

Forbid if some inarticulate cad does not feel the full force of our fully armed and operational SJW battlestation.

But what if people think that commentary is offensive, inaccurate, or racist simply because the government and the media collude to obscure and withhold the facts of current events because they would undermine their own narrative?

Which brings us to the conspiracy of silence regarding the true actions of the Bataclan Massacre terrorists:

According to this testimony, Wahhabist killers apparently gouged out eyes, castrated victims, and shoved their testicles in their mouths. They may also have disemboweled some poor souls. Women were stabbed in the genitals – and the torture was, victims told police, filmed for Daesh or Islamic State propaganda. For that reason, medics did not release the bodies of torture victims to the families, investigators said.

The French government hid evidence and has refused to turn over the bodies to the families following the Bataclan Massacre because the truth would then be known. They are denying the families and desecrating the memories, and likely the bodies of the deceased (just toss ’em in a pauper’s grave) out of the much feared but rarely seen Backlash Against Muzzloids.

We are living in a world that if you call Black Lives Matter a mob or a terrorist group then they get to gouge your eyes out and disembowel you professionally and personally. They can kill police. They can attack you at a Trump rally. But then they get a White House invite.

A world where terrorists can attack concert-goers, engage in the most depraved mutilations of their bodies and corpses. And the authorities who disarm you and refuse to defend you will cover up their heinous acts because they place a higher priority on cutting off any politically incorrect backlash.

As if the French even do “backlash”. What? Should they draw some more faggoty Eiffel Towers as peace signs? Light up some buildings in blue, red, and white?

Maybe some hipster femboy can drag his Moog to the makeshift memorial so he can score some Youtube hits and Facebook likes by singing “Imagine”.

Scott Pelley can wipe a fake tear from his eye as he finds The Beautiful Humanity In This Horrible Moment(tm).

If you read one story today, let it be that Heat Street link above. The wrong people got killed and the right people have yet to feel the backlash they richly deserve.

That’s Not Nice

It seems irony is alive and well. It may be the only thing left alive following yet another mysterious “criminal” act by an, as yet, unnamed person of unknown origin or religious denomination. A person, with a family like mine and yours, whose motivations I fear we may never untangle.

Regardless, it’s the glutton for punishment in me that demands I try. In doing so, I am going to provide 10 possible names of the as yet unnamed assailant who drove a large truck at a high rate of speed into a crowd before opening fire on the survivors in Nice, France for Bastille Day just moments ago.

Feel free to add your own:

1) Mohammed
2) Muhammad
3) Muhammed
4) Mohammad
5) Mohamed
6) Achmed
7) Omar
8) Farooq
9) Yussef
10) Abdullah

Again, there is a certain irony to people being killed while celebrating a holiday about storming a prison ostensibly to free people for writings the monarch found offensive by the people who they would be imprisoned by their current government for speaking out against today.

Obama’s pledge of our undying cooperation to bring these criminals to justice is sure to be forthcoming but he’s got a big weekend ahead of him with coordinating his BLM Day of Ragers to murder a few more policemen and all.

Whoever they may be and whose motivations we may never truly, truly know though we know without question what their motivation wasn’t.

A bit of pessimism from me if you don’t mind. This kind of attack could happen here at any time and odds are that the person who will do it has already been interviewed by the FBI and taken off the terrorist watchlist. In fact, this style of attack was attempted at the University of North Carolina in 2006. Imagine what would have happened in Nice if that truck had been packed with explosives and detonated remotely after the first responders showed up.

All it takes is one “Syrian refugee” with a credit card, a drivers license, and a rent-a-truck. And we’re going to have several ten thousand of them.

And Director James Comey wouldn’t do a damn thing differently.

*Ding, Ding, Ding*. And we have a winner. That would be Option #5 above:

Earlier this morning it was revealed that the driver of the truck used to attack Bastille Day celebrations in Nice has been named in local reports as 31-year-old delivery driver Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, a Tunisian criminal, who is reported to be a French passport holder, and well-known to the police.

Also, that he shouted “Mahalo Snackbar” or something similar prior to being properly aerated by officers at the scene. So maybe he’s part of a violent Hawaiian separatist sect. Shocking that a “Frenchman” would do this to his own countrymen. 84 dead. Over 150 injured.

As expected, this latest mass murderer’s true motivations have already escaped the keen insight of investigators before they’ve even begun.

Ayatollah Obama, Final Arbiter if What Is And Isn’t Islam, should be closing his own rigorous investigation into how the mass murderer’s religious beliefs did not influence his actions by mid-morning.

Never Before Have So Few Demanded That So Many Give Up So Much For So Little

The John F’In Kerry Non-existent Legacy Tour / Unannounced Presidential Campaign continues to scale heights previously reserved for the underbelly of a snake:

“My heroes are people who dared to take on great challenges without knowing for certain what the outcome would be,” Kerry said in an address to the Atlantic Council on Thursday.

“Lincoln took risks, Gandhi took risks, Churchill took risks, Dr. King took risks, Mandela took risks, but that doesn’t mean that every risk-taker is a role model.”

Calling climate change “one of the biggest threats facing our planet today,” Kerry said it must be addressed head on, just like terrorism, extremism and nuclear proliferation.

“Gambling with the future of Earth itself when we know full well what the outcome would be is beyond reckless. It is just plain immoral,” he said. “And it is a risk that no one should take. We need to face reality. There is no planet B.”

As he flies to and fro in jet powered luxury. To Geneva. To the owner’s box at a New England Patriot’s football game. To his mansion. To his tax evading yacht.

When someone who has no God (other than himself and his wife’s money) and no morality claims that something is “immoral” then it’s time to clutch your wallet and load the gun to protect yourself since whatever pet issue it is that is the pretext for exerting power and control over your life has no top end in terms of what they are willing to take from you to Save The World. The only world at that!

What good are those shillings in your bank account? What good is “property” if there’s no world!?!? There’s no Planet B!

ISIS, al Qaeda, Iran, Russia, and China are not existential threats. They are very real threats. Threats that can be accounted for. A real enemy can be contained, neutralized, thwarted, or defeated.

But Global Warming, or as it is currently called “Climate Change” is an existential threat. It may exist. It may not. Man may contribute to it. Man may not. And John Kerry, and the Leftists who seek to redistribute the world’s wealth and imagine themselves as the Gandhis, Lincolns, and Jesus Christs on a personal Crusade to save us from ourselves are as much of a threat as ISIS and al Qaeda ever were. Every day they seek to do as much damage to the economy as flying jets into the World Trade Center in pursuit of an existential solution that may or may not stop Planet A from warming one degree a hundred years from now.

Unfortunately, their jet is called Air Force One.

Parting Shot: Usually, it’s good form to allow other people to offer such comparisons of one’s self. But check out the big thumb’s on this guy.

Cranquee en France – Parte Deux

Bienvenue and welcome to the Quel Surprise edition of Cranquee en France. For three decades I have heard that Parisiens are rude and arrogant. Well, yes. But if you’ve spent any time in New York City then you really got nuthin’ to complain about. Some are and some aren’t is my deep insight of the day.

Ninety-five percent of the attempts I’ve made to communicate with a waiter, sales person or someone on the street has been decent. No, they aren’t thrilled to see me, and none want to be my best friend, but they are courteous and helpful. Total douchebags* encountered: 3.

Here’s some more pix with commentary:

Hot wine on a chilly December night? How bad can this country be? A: Not bad at all!

Mythbusted #1 – French don’t like Americans. In the circles our media and celebrities run in, perhaps this is the case. It doesn’t seem jibe with the facts on the ground and I have been in tourist and non-tourist areas.

Perhaps the original title was “Down and out with the greedy, stupid troglodytes”

No doubt a relic of World War II. But it does show some appreciation for our nations involvement in liberating Europe. Possibly also a tip of the hat to the Tennessee Valley Authority.

Mythbusted #2 – The French are incapable of badassery.

These commando looking types were at every major landmark being visible and carrying firearms that would make Eric Holder consider a Euro straw man purchase just for his cartel amigos.

There was a parade down the Champs Elysee for France’s surviving WWII vets.

* Not a bad word here. Go figure!

Cranquee en France

Dear Buffet Friend,
I am corresponding this week from France. Why France, the land of Socialism, chic anti-Americanism and steadfast opposition to “Le Cowboy, Bush”?

Short answer, free airfare and distant cousins who live here. Also, waaaaay before I became conservative back in high school, I wanted very much to visit the place.

So, time and jet-lag permitting, I will correspond with you dear reader from the City of Light; Paris.

I Hate Saying I Told You So

We’re a little over a year removed from the Great Nashville Flood of 2010.  Through it all, I remember the countless visions of neighbors helping neighbors.    That didn’t include Police Chief Ronal Serpas who abandoned the city a week after the rains hit for greener, golder and purpler pastures.

No, that was the first sign that the city was recovering.  As I watched the turd of his ascendancy, buoyed by the rising waters of the Cumberland River, as it floated towards the bowl of New Orleans – I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them

May 15th, 2010 “And This Little Piggy Went Wee, Wee, Wee All The Way Home”

What has happened (to New Orleans)recently???  I’m at a loss unless…wait…there was something that happened just this last week:

Nashville Police Chief Ronal Serpas takes job in New Orleans

Did the bouquet resemble fried bologna, Old Spice, jowl sweat and feet?  Because if it did, I think we’ve found our culprit.

For a city that prides itself on bacchanalian revelry, the stale sock of Chief Teetotaler is about to drape across the nose of your good time for the foreseeable future.

I’d say to prepare for the jump in violent crime and unsolved murders too (our’s is close to 40% now), but thanks to the Legacy of Naginomics you all should be ready to make that drunken, hobo stumble into Chicago gangland numbers.

Congratulations to your up and coming funeral home industry and may it replace all the French Quarter businesses forced to close once he starts enacting the same DUI laws that he did here.

Damn, it sucks to be so right.


New Orleans murder studies show rate is 10 times national average

Published: Saturday, March 26, 2011, 1:45 PM


How prevalent is it? How do police stop it? What can be done?

The two analyses, the result of months-long studies conducted late last year by the federal government, attempt to shed light on the myriad factors that conspire to make New Orleans the nation’s most murderous city.

With reams of data and statistics, federal experts determined that New Orleans’ homicide rate is 10 times higher than the national rate and five times higher than the rate for comparably sized cities.

This is just for starters.  Serpas has only been there a year.  His solution is going to be to break out a computer and start feeding it garbage statistics to make you forget all those bodies you’ll be seeing on the news every night by putting a COMSTAT graphic on the Internet to make you think he’s doing something.  And prepare  for a full-scale assault by NOPD to bring the full, pedantic force of traffic law enforcement down on the heads of the citizenry scofflaws  to solve the murder problem.

It makes sense as Serpas was recently and curiously cleared of any wrongdoing in a scandal where the contract for reviewing traffic tickets was awarded to his best friend and a myriad of other double-dipping, doling out sweetcake off-duty police work assignment scandals that might sink the average bullshitter.

Indeed, NOLA.  It sucks to be you.  Flush Serpas now before he starts lulling you into a false sense of security by repeatedly defining rapes and sexual assaults  down to “Matters Of Record” like he did to juke the stats here.



About That Whole “Arab League” Asked Us To Invade Libya Fallacy

Much like fixing the intelligence of the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill, turns out the Arab League didn’t exactly give Dumb-0 carte blanche to attack Libya:

Western forces pounded Libya’s air defences and patrolled its skies on Sunday, but their day-old intervention hit a serious diplomatic setback as the Arab League chief condemned the “bombardment of civilians.”

But Arab League chief Amr Moussa said what was happening was not what Arabs had envisaged when they called for the imposition of a no-fly zone over Libya.

“What is happening in Libya differs from the aim of imposing a no-fly zone, and what we want is the protection of civilians and not the bombardment of more civilians,” he said.

He said, “I want you to paint me a picture of Libya based on my specific directions for what I hope will happen and I will criticize and second-guess your every brushstroke but never, ever, ever pick up the brush to paint the picture myself.”

Your “broad coalition” just fell apart and has turned into an invasion by Western white people of another Muslim country for their oil interests.  And surprise, the US gets to be the knuckledragging henchman to do the heavy lifting and pick up the tab for French business interests.

The more you hear backstabbing heathens Arab leaders, the more you can appreciate the integrity of a shifting sand dune.

Unexpectedly: Republicans Increase Unemployment Rate

By nine.  Luckily, this won’t increase the rate in the long run because the jobs are gone and won’t be coming back.  It’s the New Normal ™! Get used to it, Commies.

The House voted Thursday to dethrone nine White House “czars.”

Republicans successfully added an amendment to the continuing resolution that would leave President Barack Obama’s senior advisers on policy issues including health care, energy and others out of a job.

Rep. Steve Scalise (R-La.) offered the amendment that blocks funding for various policy advisers to combat what he called “a very disturbing proliferation of czars” under Obama.

“These unappointed, unaccountable people who are literally running a shadow government, heading up these little fiefdoms that nobody can really seem to identify where they are or what they’re doing,”

No more kings.  No more czars.  No more government funded cars.

The jobs on the chopping block: White House-appointed advisers on health care, energy and climate, green jobs, urban affairs, the closure of the Guantanamo Bay detention center, oversight of TARP executive compensation, diversity at the Federal Communications Commission and the auto industry manufacturing policy.

Communists and economic illiterates every one.  I know I give Republicans hell for being milquetoast, jelly-spined crapweasels but this is definitely a step in the right direction.

Now, on to overturning the oil moratorium before the Middle Eastern tinderbox explodes and oil skyrockets to $200 a barrel.

The jew-hating Ron De Paulle is already trying to spark a sequel to the Six Day War.

And This Little Piggy Went Wee, Wee, Wee…All The Way Home

New Orleans has a problem with stank.   Not to confuse our seven readers, but a new stank – not the old one.

I’m going to question the timing:

NEW ORLEANS — At almost 300 years old, somewhat moldy from the remnants of Hurricane Katrina and surrounded by muddy water and swamps, this city is not exactly known for being lemony fresh.

But from the French Quarter to New Orleans East, people here have been complaining about a tinge to the air that is unsettling even by local standards.

What has happened recently???  I’m at a loss unless…wait…there was something that happened just this last week:

Nashville Police Chief Ronal Serpas takes job in New Orleans

Did the bouquet resemble fried bologna, Old Spice, jowl sweat and feet?  Because if it did, I think we’ve found our culprit.

For a city that prides itself on bacchanalian revelry, the stale sock of Chief Teetotaler is about to drape across the nose of your good time for the foreseeable future.

I’d say to prepare for the jump in violent crime and unsolved murders too (our’s is close to 40% now), but thanks to the Legacy of Naginomics you all should be ready to make that drunken, hobo stumble into Chicago gangland numbers.

Congratulations to your up and coming funeral home industry and may it replace all the French Quarter businesses forced to close once he starts enacting the same DUI laws that he did here.

To Hell With The Saints

Who doesn’t love an underdog?  Year in and year out for decades the lowly Aints have struggled to even make it to a playoff but now they’re in The Big Game.  Are we supposed to be surprised when they can’t act like they’ve been there before?

NEW ORLEANS – A student at a Maurepas school was sent home by the principal for refusing to take off an Indianapolis Colts jersey, according to a statement from the American Civil Liberties Union.

“(T)he Principal of Maurepas High School, which had declared that students could wear jerseys in support of the New Orleans Saints, punished a student for wearing a jersey in support of the Indianapolis Colts,” said ACLU Executive Director Margie Esman in an e-mail.

“The student, who had lived most of his life in Indianapolis and has an outstanding academic record, was called out of class and told that he was not allowed to wear that shirt. When he refused to change his shirt, the principal sent him home.”

We’re just talking about one out-of-control, tinpot fascist here – right?  A rogue principal whose school spirit borders on North Korean nationalism.  But then you delve into the comments section and see how far some people are willing to go to support his actions.  Running the gamut from calling for permanent expulsion of the student, to veiled personal threats of the student because “they know who he is”, to calling for arresting his parents with a few “whodats” peppered inbetween.   Rules are rules!

Maurepas High Valedictorian, Lootie: Just following the rules!

It’s easy to think some people are engaging in a bit of pre-Super Bowl hyperbole but since most Saints fans can’t spell “hyperbole” I dismissed that out of hand.  They’ve expelled one of the brighter students at their school for engaging in a harmless bit of free expression because he didn’t read the DRESS CODE.  This criticism coming from people who couldn’t watch a weather forecast for an entire week warning them to get out of the way of a CAT-5 hurricane the size of Germany.

Dumbasses don’t follow rules.

Rule #1:  Big Hurricane = Move.

But seriously, folks – Go Colts!

And if by some miracle of animal sacrifice and voodoo magic New Orleans is able to win then the police will need to be on standby.

To prevent Houston from being burned to the ground.

The Golddigger and President Pyrite Keep Giving Honduras The Shaft

And I don’t dig it.  But Jim DeMint does rock.

On Thursday morning, the freshman Republican announced that he would lead a congressional delegation to Honduras on Friday ahead of the country’s Nov. 29 elections.

“While this administration has failed to act decisively in Afghanistan, it is has no problem cracking down on a democratic ally and one of the poorest nations in Latin America,” DeMint added. “Now, President Obama and Democrats’ blind support for this would-be dictator and friend of Hugo Chavez will prevent members of Congress from learning the truth first hand.”

Lurch McKetchup is trying to obstruct DeMint’s fact-finding mission to Honduras so that DeMint can be present for a Foreign Relations Committee vote where justice and competency are sure to lose to two more Obama comminees.

Typical for the guy who ran around undermining Bush abroad to our ostensible allies when he was making his case for the office in 2004 or who all sat idly by when Jim McDermott and David Bonior ran off to Baghdad on the eve of the invasion.  Or when Natasha Pelosivic rushed off to Syria to lick the boot heel of Baby Assad.

What’s good for the goose.

What’s the worst he can do after all they’ve done? Censure you on the floor?

Honduras is a friend of ours.  If Zelaya gets back in it won’t be anymore.  There would be a bloody crackdown on everyone who enforced their Constitution.  The judges would be thrown in jail.  The opposition killed.  Dissenting publications squelched.  And blood on Obama’s already filthy hands.

Do it, DeMint.  Shine the disinfecting sunlight of the truth on the tools of Venezuela in Washington.

Did He Really Say That?

No, I’m not talking about Pat Robertson’s surprising endorsement, although that’s an eye-popper too. I’m talking about what the President of France said in his address to a joint session of Congress earlier today.

You won’t find it in the headlines, so here it is:

Today the President of France called the United States “the greatest nation in the world.”

I hope you were sitting down for that. Yes, I said the President of France today called the United States “the greatest nation in the world.”

I can understand why the mainstream media is burying that lead. The MSM certainly doesn’t agree that we’re the greatest nation in the world and they must feel a certain betrayal when they hear a Frenchman say it.

But I think its stunning to hear those words, coming from any man who holds the office De Gaulle once held. It’s like an old long lost friend, with whom you haven’t spoken for years, suddenly calling out of the blue to renew your friendship.

Here’s the key quote, and don’t miss Sarkozy’s point. It reveals a man who understands the essence of conservative philosophy.

America did not tell the millions of men and women who came from every country in the world and who–with their hands, their intelligence and their heart–built the greatest nation in the world: “Come, and everything will be given to you.” She said: “Come, and the only limits to what you’ll be able to achieve will be your own courage and your own talent.” America embodies this extraordinary ability to grant each and every person a second chance.

Here, both the humblest and most illustrious citizens alike know that nothing is owed to them and that everything has to be earned. That’s what constitutes the moral value of America. America did not teach men the idea of freedom; she taught them how to practice it. And she fought for this freedom whenever she felt it to be threatened somewhere in the world. It was by watching America grow that men and women understood that freedom was possible.

What made America great was her ability to transform her own dream into hope for all mankind.

[emphasis added]

But I got teary-eyed reading these next words.

The men and women of my generation heard their parents talk about how in 1944, America returned to free Europe from the horrifying tyranny that threatened to enslave it.

Fathers took their sons to see the vast cemeteries where, under thousands of white crosses so far from home, thousands of young American soldiers lay who had fallen not to defend their own freedom but the freedom of all others, not to defend their own families, their own homeland, but to defend humanity as a whole.

Fathers took their sons to the beaches where the young men of America had so heroically landed. They read them the admirable letters of farewell that those 20-year-old soldiers had written to their families before the battle to tell them: “We don’t consider ourselves heroes. We want this war to be over. But however much dread we may feel, you can count on us.” Before they landed, Eisenhower told them: “The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.”

And as they listened to their fathers, watched movies, read history books and the letters of soldiers who died on the beaches of Normandy and Provence, as they visited the cemeteries where the star-spangled banner flies, the children of my generation understood that these young Americans, 20 years old, were true heroes to whom they owed the fact that they were free people and not slaves. France will never forget the sacrifice of your children.

To those 20-year-old heroes who gave us everything, to the families of those who never returned, to the children who mourned fathers they barely got a chance to know, I want to express France’s eternal gratitude.

On behalf of my generation, which did not experience war but knows how much it owes to their courage and their sacrifice; on behalf of our children, who must never forget; to all the veterans who are here today and, notably the seven I had the honor to decorate yesterday evening, one of whom, Senator Inouye, belongs to your Congress, I want to express the deep, sincere gratitude of the French people. I want to tell you that whenever an American soldier falls somewhere in the world, I think of what the American army did for France. I think of them and I am sad, as one is sad to lose a member of one’s family.

That was a really nice thing to say, and he didn’t have to say it in the way he did. But I, as an American born in Europe, really appreciate Sarkozy’s words, which I believe are heartfelt.

The MSM doesn’t want you to know it, but not everybody hates America. And I think there’s reason to be hopeful as long as we have friends like Anders Fogh Rasmussen of Denmark, John Howard of Australia, Angela Merkel of Germany, and now Nicolas Sarkozy of France.

Read the whole speech here.

Here at Six Meat Buffet we’ve had a lot of fun hurling epithets at “The Filthy French,” but when the president of France turns out to be more patriotic than the spokesman for Budweiser, it’s time to recognize it and say Vive la France.

Start Investing In Hanta Virus Vaccine Now

Walt Disney may be rolling in his cryogenic chamber but at least he’s safe from the trends his studio keeps turning out:

Cause: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End global box office $960,998,993.00.

Effect: Pirate attacks worldwide jumped 14 percent in the first nine months of 2007.

Cause: Ratatouille global box office to date $515,410,872.00


Newspapers said Britain faced a rodent population explosion; the wet weather meant we would be inundated by the creatures.

That was before Ratatouille. Thanks to the latest Disney/Pixar’s digital animation studio box office hit, featuring a lovable French rodent, the reputation of the rat is undergoing a PR renaissance. Children are now desperate to get their hands on a pet rat.

Mickey Mouse was unavailable for comment. Coincidence? I think not.

Magical Molson Mystery Tour

What the hell is going on with Canada?

First, they start complaining about Prince Albert taking inconvenient liberties in his Oscar-winning crockumentary and now they rebuke Michael Moore’s new autobiography “Sicko”?

Please god. Let some things never change.


A Paris festival celebrating US music and culture has been called off following a series of anti-American threats, organisers said on Sunday.
“At first we thought it was a joke when we received a letter with a mixture of threats, mentioning Al-Qaeda and full of spelling mistakes,” said Chantal Tenot, the festival’s press officer.

But after several threatening phone calls the organisers decided Friday to file a police complaint and call off the event.

Good thing that letter wasn’t spelled correctly or they may have had to stuff a return envelope with cash and a note reading “don’t hurt me”.

Finally, the world makes sense again.

Let Them Eat King Cake

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”
H. L. Mencken

For anyone whoever wondered, the Chocolate City has a blood-red cordial cherry center. Ask any of the 9 people shot for the start of Mardi Gras.

Considering New Orleans’ increasing unpopularity with the US public, I suggest a non-binding resolution cutting all funding to the city. We will undermine their national efforts at tourism and strategically redeploy the New Orleans Saints to Utah and reunite them with The Jazz.

When given the choice, Americans are overwhelmingly choosing to vomit and piss themselves elsewhere.

It’s absurd that we keep trying to force democracy on these people at the end of a gun beer-soaked parade of crossdressers on party floats.

Head Nagin in Charge
New Orleans – Victims or complicit of rampant Nag-lect

They are clearly not ready to govern themselves.

Let them eat King Cake.

Of Cults, Non-Ian Astbury Related

Heretical hijinks afoot in the island nation of Vanuatu. The self-proclaimed “World’s Happiest Place” has taken their beachside blasphemy to the streets to celebrate a mystical white saviour:

World War II and the arrival of US troops on Vanuatu was a defining time for the movement. They had a name for their spiritual deity. He was John Frum.

Villagers believe that their messiah was responsible for delivering to them the munificence of the US military.
They were awestruck by the army’s cargo of tanks, weapons, refrigerators, food and medicine.

“One day he will come back,” he says.

“John is our god,” declares village chief Isaac Wan, who beats his fists into the ground to emphasise his words.

Preston may have to start re-thinking his options about where to move considering this development.

You could rule Vanuatu as as their albino god with an i-Pod and a Sam’s Club membership. And unless my CIA book is wrong, you can buy some lagoon-front mansion for $40k US.

About 20% of Tanna’s population of 30,000 follow the teachings of one of the world’s last remaining cargo cults.

Other islanders can barely disguise their contempt for it.

A Christian youth worker told me how he thought the cult was childish. “It’s like a baby playing games,” he insisted. “Those people are holding on to a dream that will never come true,” he said.

Those crazy kids. While lacking a consistent source of potable water, it appears they are experiencing a surfeit of irony.

We may have to take a road trip and straighten everything out.

Da Plane Da Plane

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s three white guys from Tennessee, one from Philadelphia and a smokin’ hot chick from California!
We’re saved!

Lee Harvey Oswald Does The Oscars

The High Clerics of Canuckistani Cinema awarded Gabriel Range the much ballyhooed and heavily competitive Bush-hater of the Year Award for his film celebrating the hope that someone will eventually assassinate the sitting US President in the next two years:

Death of a President, which received largely negative reviews, won the Prize of International Critics “for the audacity with which it distorts reality, to reveal a larger truth,” the jury said in a statement.

More like the audacity with which it distorts truth to reveal an alternate reality that leftards live in everyday.

Blame Canada? Now, now…we’re past all that. We’re well into arctic Fuck Canada territory now. Fuck you in your pasty, white, Tarte au Sucre eating, snow puckered asses.

Death to Michael J. Fox.

Death To McFly
Allow me to distort reality to show you a larger truth, Mr. McFly.

Wow, assassinating Canadians is like eating Chinese food! An hour from now I’m probably going to want to assassinate another one.

Time – 14:48PM CST

Operation: Chartreuse Chanteuse

Sooo…you screw Def Leppard’s producer?

Not So Much
Bang! That don’t impress me much either. Another silly bitch down.

Operation: Let’s Lynch The Leftard

Lynch The Leftard

I was afraid someone might mistake Michael Musto for Jello Biafra and assassinate him by mistake. It was a risk I was willing to take for our national security.

Boris Badenov Revisited

Darwin Award judges were rapt with anticipation earlier today as a busload of frogs almost met their amphibious end:

OSLO, Norway – A bus carrying 40 elderly French tourists toppled into a ditch by a motorway in central Norway on Tuesday after passengers demanded the driver get closer to a moose grazing by the roadside so they could take snapshots…
Eager to photograph the moose “in its natural environment,” the tourists had asked the driver to get closer to the animal, after which the bus skidded off the edge of the motorway, district police officer at Gudbrandsdal, Sigmund Kaapvik, said.

Moose No Squirrel
He shot a man in International Falls, MN just to watch him die.

I don’t know what’s worse – the driver surrendering to busload of French blue hairs or the damage to the reputation of our species when the moose tells this one back at the lodge.


The Horrifying Epidemic of American Patriotism

Every Independence Day, Americans offend the entire world by wearing red, white and blue and brandishing their country’s flag in all manner of display. This particularly horrifies the cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys in Paris, who cower in the corner and wet themselves when they come within 100 yards of Old Glory.

It’s a true epidemic: the red, white and blue, stars-and-stripes banners are everywhere in the United States – on house facades, front lawns, cars and clothes.

Hitting an high point on the July 4 US Independence Day holiday, it is a genuine phenomenon of American national pride that, inevitably, gets a good but also sometimes unwanted boost from commercial exploitation.

“It’s a little strange, this obsession of the flag,” French author Bernard-Henri Levy wrote after traveling across the country.

“Everywhere, in every form, flapping in the wind or on stickers, an epidemic of flags that has spread throughout the city,” Levy wrote in “American Vertigo” of the riot of banners he saw.

This past Independence day, the Holmes clan went to an area celebration where there were Stars and Stripes in abundance. If you have the stones, you can see some of the evidence of this epidemic after the fold. I must warn you that these are graphic images and are not for the weak of Constitution.