St. Timothy The Untouchable

WTF is wrong with Mt. Zion Baptist?

This could be an ongoing series. For those unfamiliar, Mt. Zion Baptist Church is likely the largest and most popular black church in Nashville at approximately 25,000 members. It has tremendous poltical clout due to its size and influential members who’ve bought into the prosperity gospel they peddle.

Their lead pastor was able to get a disturbing sex abuse claim against him and other members of his church dismissed a few short years ago on the flimsiest of grounds solely because the statute of limitations had expired. Namely, that he has his way with married, single, and widowed parishioners alike while personally enriching the inner circle.

It stands to reason, if you want to claim the mantle of black victimhood and politically insulate yourself that you need to ensconce yourself in the loving bosom of Mount Zion Baptist. Assuming it is not being motorboated by the clergy at the time.

In case you haven’t guessed where this is going, the funeral for Timea Batts was scheduled for a larger venue to accommodate all of the hooting and hollering moral degenerates wanting to capitalize on her misfortune. Take it away, Preach:

‘God makes no mistakes’

Batts’ uncle, church Elder Patrick Starnes, delivered the eulogy.
“When the angel Timea ascend into heaven, was it tragedy or was it transition?

Can’t it be both? If forced to choose, let’s go with tragedy.

This is not a mistake. He don’t take the babies for no reason. God has a plan. God knows exactly what he’s doing.”

So, if I’m to understand Revvum correctly, it was God’s Divine Will that Batts shoot his daughter because “he knows exactly what he’s doing”.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who are you to deny God’s Will?

When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, that was when he carried you. And when he’s riding shotgun on your driveby, let him take the wheel while you pull the righteous trigger.

Timothy Batts did speak at the funeral. What was said is confusing at best and eyebrow raising to say the least:

“I wish it was a nightmare and I can awake now but it’s all too real,” Batts said, reading a poem he wrote. “Since the day you were born I never pictured life without you. I hear you saying, ‘I’m at a better place’ but I’d give anything for another chance to see your smiling face. I love you forever until we meet again.”

That doesn’t rhyme but I’ll digress. How is being dead better than being alive when your young death was completely avoidable?

If being dead is “a better place” than living with you, point taken.

Before the casket was closed, Batts said he wanted to tell God three things.

“Forgive me for all of my sins and let me start all over again,” Batts said. “When I can’t breathe no more, heaven please let me in. Every tear I shed, wash it with my soul cause I’ll see my baby Timea again where the streets are made of gold.”

At least he wasn’t selfish. Geez. Generally, you pray for the soul of the departed.

Is an “accident” considered a sin?

Was it a chance to start over again when he was released after getting caught with four bags of crack, a gun, and 115 ecstacy pills? Was it start over again after the attempted murder of a rival on Rosa Parks Blvd. in 2012?

Batts has already gotten more do-overs than a sorority hottie learning to play cornhole at a sausagefest.

But yes, Sweet Baby Jesus, forgive him of his sin of killing his daughter for reasons yet to be confessed. And when he’s breathing heavy at the Pearly Gates with the Devil’s SWAT team in pursuit, do give him a heavenly flophouse to crash until them hogsouts give up.

I’m still having a hard time buying that the 500 people who attended this service believe this shit.

It’s about protecting their skin color and they don’t care in the slightest about the girl in the coffin so long as St. Timothy The Untouchable walks free.

Social Justice demands the murderer become a martyr.

Because #BlackLiesMatter

The Curious Case of Timothy Batts

It’s not often that I am completely confounded when watching a court case unfold but, I must admit, the child murder of Timea Batts has me shaking my head with each passing day.

This is a supplement to the Dindu Nuffin post below. Timothy Batts, a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, shot and killed his 11 year old daughter moments after she walked into the front door of her home following her first day of school.

A controversy began when Batts lied to police about the circumstance of the murder and, while his daughter was dying, absconded to Nashville to hide the murder weapon which has since been recovered. He claimed he was startled out of sleep by what he thought was an intruder. However, home video taken from a security camera inside of the home showed him wide awake, talking on the phone, and walking around the house with the gun five minutes before the shooting.

Bail was set at $1,000,0000 for reckless homicide and a plethora of side charges given his prior history.

A mob of family members, acquaintances, and assorted bigots (or as they are usually referred to in a courtroom setting as “accomplices”) descended on a spineless and cowardly Sumner County judge who reduced the bail by half. The “victory” for the bigoted mob prompted an embarrassing courtrroom outburst like it was a sporting event – completely unmoored by the fact that an 11 year old black girl who should have been finishing her first week of school was having formaldehyde pumped through her body and needing to pick out a nice dress for her funeral.

It took less than a day for Batts’ accomplices, excuse making cultists from Long Hollow Baptist Church, and various internet racists to crowdsource the $50,000 and post bond.

What happened upon Batts’ release shocked me for the second time in a week. So high are the bigots in Batts’ circle of friends and acquaintances on the notion that they have somehow stuck it to Whitey, that they thought it was a good idea to livestream his release from jail on Facebook.

Cel-e-brate good times, come on!

In the link above, a jubilant Batts can be seen laughing and, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say, clowning around with his supporters.

A flyer was also being circulated for a fundraiser at the hoodrat nightclub Limelight with a picture of stoic Batts and ghostly photoshopped Timea emblazoned with the title “Ca$hville’s Greatest Dad Appreciation” for this coming Thursday night (Aug. 18th).

You cannot make this shit up. The Runners Up to the Ca$hville’s Greatest Dad contest are literally everyone else who didn’t murder their kids last week.

Call me old fashioned. If I had just killed my daughter, I’d probably be borderline suicidal. I would have been on suicide watch in jail. If under threat of life in prison or the death penalty, at the very least I would be somber and likely in tears in the courtroom or in front if cameras.

Batts is cold-blooded and remorseless by all observations.

The Timea Batts funeral is today. Hopefully, the morticians and undertakers will specify that there is to be no video of the ceremonial pouring of Hennessy over her corpse or blowing of blunt smoke in her face as is often associated with tribal custom. Don’t judge.

That’s the jury’s job.

An exit note for prosecutors: Drug test Batts tomorrow and find him in violation of the terms of his bond.

$50k down the toilet.

In closing, Long Hollow Baptist Church is a den of vipers and the congregation fills the offering plates with tithings to Satan.

Naturally, the dipshits at the Nashville Scene think this is about lack of gun control and are taking a stance that this entire incident was an accident on blind faith alone without any investigation or consideration of the numerous and damning holes in Batts’ alibi or behavior immediately afterwards. Or, that he should have still been in jail following a 2012 attempted murder. Because Journalism ™.

Quiz: How Much Didn’t Can A Dindu Do If A Dindu, Dindu Nuffin?

Update in the Batts case, here, here, and here.

Why are these people cheering?

a) Their cousin was just selected inmate of the month at Riverbend Maximum Security Prison

b) The long awaited return of Popeye’s Beer Can Rip’N Chicken.

c) A man who shot and killed his 11 year old daughter after she returned from her first day of school and lied to police about it got his bond reduced from $1,000,000.00 to $500k after a spineless judge bowed to the whim of a mob armed with a change.org online petition.

The answer is, of course, “c”.

A man shot his 11 year old daughter as she walked in the door from her first day of school, lied about how it happened, tampered with evidence, and then thousands of people sign a petition and hundreds show up to court and cheer like they just won the Pick 3 because they don’t want him to face justice because he shares their skin color.

There is no other way to look at this one. And I’m sorry to say that I tried to find one that would pass the smell test. There aren’t any. He was wide awake and caught on home security video pacing around his house with a gun when he claimed he was startled from a sound sleep by an intruder.

The change.org petition was started by the appropriately named “Greedy Gettinoff”.

Even if it was an accident, how is this behavior in the courtroom even remotely appropriate given that an 11 year old girl is lying in the morgue but you’re happy you think babydaddy is escaping Whitey’s justice system?

The petition continues, “He loved his three daughters dearly and was a great father figure in her life. We ask that he is able to attend his daughter funeral service and have a lowered bond. His bond is 1 million dollars and that’s insane for a accident we need Timothy batts home for his grieving family.”

The petition writers insist that Batts “would never intentionally hurt his family” and ask for signatures to advocate “for the equality of punishments being handed out by our judicial system. Same crimes are being committed but blacks are handed 20% longer jail sentences then whites.”

“Equality of punishments”? He was just arrested two days ago. He won’t even go before a jury for probably at least 6 months to a year. They ought to be ashamed for throwing the race card in on this but they are incapable of shame.

So remember that li’l churrens. When Daddy, Uncle, or Mama’s Boyfriend is playing with illegal handgun even though he’s a convicted felon, if he shoots you with it then the lead pastor at Long Hollow Baptist Church is going to stand in front of the cameras, God, and everybody to make sure he doesn’t get punished for it.

Disgusting behavior by all of these people. Disgusting and surprising for once.

If Little Timea had yelled “hands up, don’t shoot” would you all be torn between looting the Dollar General Store or demanding that the police arrest the father because Black Lives Matter?

Your cheers have told us that they don’t matter. Not even to you.

Mr. Switzerland Has Stockholm Syndrome

Pollutico, yes – I know, has a story out this morning providing named sources for once by those at the state levels of the Republican Party expressing concern over the down ticket loss that’s coming if Trump doesn’t get his loose shit together.

Spoiler Alert: It’s not going to happen

Though a campaign source dismissed it as a “typical” gathering, others described it as a more serious meeting, with one calling it an “emergency meeting.”

“They want to patch up a rift that just keeps unfolding,” one source said. “They finally realize they need the RNC for their campaign because, let’s face it, there is no campaign.”

Less than 90 days to Election Day and “there is no campaign”.

And Florida GOP veterans say Trump is well behind previous GOP presidential campaigns when it comes to building infrastructure in the state.

“In Florida, usually by this time, we’d have 10 field offices set up, but right now, there is only one,” said Al Cardenas, a former chairman of the state’s Republican Party.

Who needs all those offices??? Trump packed 12,000 people into an Ag Expo Center off I-95 last month so that easily translates into a 3,000,000 person get out the vote drive.

Screw how state by state, county by county party politics works. Trump’s got a Twitter account and more Facebook likes than Hillary.

Or so Sean Hackity tells us.

Yesterday, I was called “whiny and puerile” by someone who had just discovered dictionary.com because I suggested that Trump make a genuine effort to win over his rivals and these state level people who will lose their party jobs if they have Trump 2016 on their resumes.

In actuality, here is what whiny and puerile looks like:

Trump on Thursday night challenged reports that the RNC might shift resources down ballot, warning in an interview on Fox News “if it is true, that’s okay too because all I have to do is stop funding the Republican Party.”

A suicide pact it is then.

Congratulations on your hostage crisis, Mr. Priebus, er, I mean “Mr. Switzerland”. Trump likes to joke that Priebus is Mr. Switzerland because he’s so neutral.

In reality, it’s because he’s got Stockholm Syndrome.

Perot Again

It’s deja vu all over again. Don’t anyone schedule any speeches to the NAACP in the next two months. A billionaire populist upends the RNC stuffed shirts but he wants to grind personal axes rather than play the politics that it takes to win.

And on the cheap too!

Barack Obama paid off Hillary’s campaign debt to bring her into the fold so she wouldn’t be fragging him through the 2008 general election.

It’s “polls, polls, polls” until the polls turn against you and now the system is rigged.

This is a fucking nightmare. Like Groundhog’s Day. and I hate to say I told you so but you never listened anyway.

This campaign is in such disarray you’d think Ed Rollins was running it.

Start prepping The Downfall videos. Georgia??? Whaddaya mean we lost Georgia?!? Except Trump and Eva will just abscond back into luxury.

First time with Clinton was a farce, this time will be a tragedy.

Update: I honestly thought about taking this post down. That was, until I saw a “Breitbart Exclusive”!!!! *Screeeeech* Stop the Presses. STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

Texas Senator Ted Cruz visited the Laredo Sector of the U.S.-Mexico border and did not contact Border Patrol agents to discuss their needs.
According to the agents, Senator Cruz has yet to contact them through his freshman term in the U.S. Senate. The Border Patrol agents reached out to Breitbart Texas and rebuked the Senator for what they say is a pattern of having tough rhetoric while taking little action.

That’s right. Trump’s house organ – Breitbart News – is running breaking stories today – August 11th, 2016 – almost four months after Ted Cruz suspended his presidential campaign (May 4th, 2016) that the Border Patrol union that endorsed Trump seven months before on March 30th, 2016 is still mad at him. Complete with ugly blurred photo. Even though they praise John McCain in the story for his commitment to border security.

Baffling. But then I remembered, Trump just endorsed McCain a few days ago so the marching orders must have went out.

My definition of Breaking News is a little different than Not-So Breitbart’s. Much like my definition of what a winning campaign looks like.

Trump and his allies are still fighting a fight that was won – unfairly -and letting Hillary off scot free. Which may have been the goal all along.

Foreign Policy For Faggots

Phillipines President Rodrigo Duterte is a murderous lunatic and a tyrant in the making.

And if anyone can define the Obama Foreign Policy better than “middle fingers for friends and tugjobs for tyrants” I would like to hear it.

Knowing this, it sounds like our Ambassador to the future genocidal island nation had his homo-vertures rebuffed in a very public fashion:

Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte called the US ambassador to his country a “gay son of a bitch” in a speech, prompting US diplomats to raise the issue with their Filipino counterparts in Washington.

Perhaps my ideas on diplomacy differ from the prevailing wisdom. I thought Ambassadors were to be artful emissaries of US interests abroad and not antagonizing, affirmative action SJWs. That or Pay-To-Play campaign contributors.

But the reaction from Secretariat of State Lurch McKetchup has been as swift as a wire transfer:

“Kerry came here, we had a meal, and he left me and Delfin $33 million. I said, OK, maybe we should offend them more, so this crazy will just give more money, just to make peace. So, it’s all about the money.”

No. It’s all about wasting our money. They think everyone is just looking for a bribe because they are.

Prepare for Comrade Kerry to mischaracterize this entire exchange and spin it as some great leap forward in 3, 2, 1….

“We have asked the Philippines chargé to come into the State Department to clarify those remarks,” she said at a briefing.

Seems pretty clear to me. The gay son of a bitch has an idiot boss with more money than sense.

You need that notarized and apostilled ya dumb cunt?

It Came From E-Bay: Bear-Curious

While looking up vintage lunchboxes on E-Bay, because nothing important is going on, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by how acceptable boy on bear sodomy was in the good ole days:

I cannot imagine any mother slathering mayo on a bologna sandwich and handing this to their kid in the 1960s but that was probably the perfect time. A simpler time. A time when Mom could pack up enough meat to satisfy appetites of man or beast inside of a 10″ x 10″ container. Mind you, this didn’t raise an eyebrow with Marketing, Aladdin Industries, the retailer, or the US Fish and Wildlife Service.

Against the backdrop of The Civil Rights Act, Vietnam, Woodstock, and The Summer of Love, a lonely country boy struggles with his bear-curious feelings and a forbidden love that dare not speak its name over a thermos of warm milk and a Ding Dong if you were lucky.


I thought we were just “friends”

A far different tale than the hardcore scenes that ultimately led to the cancellation of Grizzly Adams.

Like Blazing Saddles, they couldn’t make this show today.

Yea We Caught AIDS From Brazilian Sex Slaves Three Days Ago

…While representing the United States at the Olympics. Wanna fight about it?

Carmelo Anthony said his U.S. men’s basketball teammates need to accept responsibility and move on after reports that three players visited a legal brothel in Rio de Janeiro.

“What’s done is done. We have time off and guys did what they did. We accept those responsibilities and move on,” said Anthony, a four-time Olympian and the elder statesmen of the team.

I have no problem with legalized prostitution. What happens between a willing buyer and a willing seller is between them. Well, between them and their babys’ mamas back home who they’re bringing back a fatal case of Brazilian SuperAIDS as a souvenir.

Hey, it’s worked out great for Magic Johnson.

What part of “accepting responsibility” is continuing to lie about how you ended up at one of the most famous whorehouses in Copacabana and facing no repercussions, such as being sent home and stripped of any Olympic prestige, for getting serviced by possible sex slaves while representing us?

Who do they think they are? The Secret Serviced, I mean, Service???

This is why nobody gives a shit about the Olympics. They have no standards. Carmelo and company went on to trounce those little Chinese ballers 119-62.

Apparently, that’s all that matters.

Make America Ohio Again

John Kasich is milking his 15 minutes again. Which is my preference to the 4 years Trump was going to give him to ruin our country with his Big Government ultraliberal interpretation of Christianity:

Kasich told CNN’s Jake Tapper that he didn’t receive a call himself. But he said one of his aides confirmed to him a New York Times report last monthsaying Donald Trump Jr. tried to entice Kasich with a position as the most powerful vice president in history — putting him in charge of all domestic and foreign policy — was accurate.

“That’s what one of them has told me, yes,” Kasich told Tapper in an interview aired Sunday on “State of the Union.”

This isn’t a new story as it’s been around soon after Kasich dropped out. This is how it’s done isn’t it? Some back channel note passer like you’re in the 5th grade asking, “Do you like me?” with Yes, No, Maybe checkboxes on it?

I see this two ways. Either Trump was perfectly willing to sellout his supporters with the milquiest toast of them all who expressed nothing short of condescending sneers and smug superiority for a position that less than 3% of Republican primary voters wanted to hear.

Or, Trump ritually makes promises he doesn’t intend to honor to quell his critics. Is that the Art of the Deal? Floating the VP slot to whichever vanquished wheel is squeaking the loudest at the moment in exchange for virtue or goods and services?

And once you’re done, like Chris Christie, you can get your fat ass back on the plane.

I realize Kasich is so proud of himself that when goes to the bathroom that he is compelled to fan his hands towards his face to get the full satisfaction of his own filth but floating the idea that our country’s domestic policy should be handed over to him while Trump plays figurehead has left me wondering. Would a VP Kasich scare off any of his supporters before the convention?

Is Kasich the liar or Trump and Don Jr.?

I don’t want a Hillary presidency and there is only one thing that’s going to prevent that. Trump needs to go through whatever back channels available to him and get his vanquished foes to support him. You don’t win the primary and then tell everyone to go fuck themselves and I’ll win without you. Which is exactly what both he and his supporters have been doing and even the Hannitards beat their puds to the notion that Independents are going to make up for losing so many traditional Republican voters.

How are you going to build a wall if you can’t mend a fence with the people you need to pass it? It will take humility, swallowing a little pride,and probably apologizing to some degree. If he can do that, he will likely win.

I don’t think he’s capable of that. Offering, asking for, or receiving forgiveness from others is a Christian trait and he’s no more a Christian than Obama is. A politically expedient “conversion” for appearances. To someone who thinks they’ve never done anything wrong that is something that is never going to happen.

Exit Video: Negotiating with a psychopath 101 from Deadwood between mining magnate George Hearst and up-and-comer Alma Ellsworth.

“Your proposal offends completely. It mistakes my Nature, absolutely. Will you hear my counter-proposal?”

Similarly, how one with such wealth and power views the utility of those who can help him or those that would impede his Will. And those who might reject the promise he brings.

Zoe For Prison #Impeach Zoe, #ZoeForPrison

The lawlessness of Ayatollah Obama’s era may be coming to an end but there’s always another one waiting to take his place. In fact, anyone who has passed by a YMCA has probably seen it:

Zoe For President: New Candidate Announces Her Run for Commander in Chief In 2064

YMCA of the USA organizes Zoe for President, symbolizing the potential the Y sees in all children

CHICAGO, Feb. 25, 2016 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — Today, YMCA of the USA (Y-USA) launched Zoe for President, a campaign to elect a one-year-old girl as our nation’s Commander in Chief…in 2064. The campaign highlights the potential the Y sees in all kids to grow up and change the world if they’re nurtured properly and supported along the way. Through Y initiatives like childcare, academic enrichment, mentorship, college prep, job training, and more, kids have the opportunities to succeed, grow, and one day, maybe even become president. The Y aims to impart the values of what it means to achieve—how hard work, determination, perseverance and character can drive someone to success beyond what they thought possible.

We don’t need any more unqualified community organizers coming out of Chicago promising tomorrow’s red diapershitting Leftists easy answers, womb to tomb government largesse, and sentencing the next generation to sharecrop their debt slavery on America’s college plantations.

“While Zoe for President is a breath of fresh air during a heated campaign cycle, every child, regardless of background, needs support and guidance to reach their full potential,” said Kevin Washington, president and CEO, YMCA of the USA. “Our campaign will address actual issues that America’s communities are faced with each day like access to early childhood education, safe space, meal assistance, and the Y’s role in solving the challenges head on.”

The FEC needs to put a stop to this madness immediately. The YMCA is a “non-profit” and this blatant electioneering is a violation of current campaign finance law sas well as issue advocacy PACs that are not allowed to endorse a particular candidate.

None of this speaks to the character of Zoe herself or even if she knows if she’s a he or she or a it yet. They’ve never held a job in the private sector. Never signed a paycheck or hired an employee! Always looking for a hand out.

And a recent National Enquirer story quoted Roger Stone as saying that Zoe does, in fact, have cooties and sleeps around on the kindergarten mats of both boys and girls in zher homeroom. I’m not saying I have any information that that is true. We’re just asking questions and the American people need to know the answer if you’re going to be trusted with the highest high chair in the world.

The only button she’s qualified to put her finger on is on a Bumpy Ball.

It’s all fun and games until the YMCA and the YWCA merge into the YLBTGQCA and demand that our tax dollars fund unisex bathrooms and that bakers will have to provide gluten free granola bars to same sex intramural volleyball teams against their religion.

Zoe has been, is, and will forever be unfit for command. When the 3 AM phone call comes, she will have already been asleep for 9 hours and will probably wet the bed.

WTW Weekend: Great Moments In White Trash Advertising

Picasso famously said that lesser artists borrow and that great artists steal. As I pulled up behind a company van in morning traffic, I was reminded of that. So what to make of this local company’s logo?

There’s something so familiar about that. I can’t quite put my fing..oh, wait:

It’s a blued up version of the Enron symbol:

Nothing says “trust us” with your electrical needs like shamelessly stealing the logo of a disgraced energy concern that was once the largest bankruptcy in the history of the country and led to one of the most destructive pieces of accounting legislation (Sarbanes-Oxley) in history.

But fret not. This isn’t the second coming of Enron, it’s Enron squared!

Next up, Manson Family Brand Pork Sausages. Every morning that starts off with “Death to the Pigs” is going to be a great day. #BLM approved.

Lady Vols Not Ladyboys

I saw this riding on a car’s bumper the other day and had to do a double-take.

From the Department of Unfortunate Cross-branding:


I knew UT had a recent brouhaha over wanting to fine, expel, and genitally mutilate students before sending them to re-education camps for not calling he/she/its by some new pronouns they invented five minutes ago but this?

It’s too insidious. They’re the Lady Vols not the Ladyboys. Cameltoes not camel’s nose.

We don’t want to know that your Ford F-150 secretly wants to be a convertible Mazda Miata or that your automatic Audi TT would rather be a stick. Maybe you get off on teasing those cisgenders at Pep Boys with your shocks and struts. But the only one who should know if you’ve blown a tranny should be your mechanic.

Come on, people. Pick a side.

Fox News Should Indefinitely Suspend Sean Hannity

It has been clear for the better part of the last six months that Sean Hannity has been angling, auditioning, and ass-kissing Trump to be his Press Secretary. Though it is doubtful Fox plans on doing anything about him, this latest feud between him and Bret Stephens at the WSJ appear to be part of a disturbing pattern:

On Thursday night/Friday morning, Hannity responded to Wall Street Journal columnist Bret Stephens, who called him “Fox News’ dumbest anchor.” Hannity had already started blaming Republican operatives for a potential Trump loss in November. He later applied this specifically to Stephens.

Wsj genius. Where were u when Boehner punted on the power of the purse a added nearly 5 trillion in new debt? https://t.co/oaH1b92PFS — Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) August 5, 2016
Hannity responded to the same tweet five times!

Where were you when R party refused to use the power of the purse to defund Obamacare ? https://t.co/oaH1b92PFS

— Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) August 5, 2016

Then he started using profanity.

Where were you dumbass when in 2014 R’s said the would stop Obama’s illegal and unconstitutional exec amnesty? https://t.co/oaH1b92PFS — Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) August 5, 2016
He dragged Stephens through the mud.

It’s arrogant, elitist, enablers like you that never hold R’s accountable that created the opening for Trump!! https://t.co/oaH1b92PFS

— Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) August 5, 2016

Then said that if Hillary Clinton won the election in November, people like Stephens would be to blame.

Right. Stephens is to blame for Trump. Not the guy who’s been his unquestioning sycophant since before April and who never misses an opportunity to kiss his son’s ass. What a great job he did raising him by the way. Trump the Elder should be more like him!

I don’t hold any affinity for Stephens. Sometimes he’s insightful and other times he is so incredibly offmark that I have to question if he’s a Putin stooge. But this Hannity character…I just don’t know.

I try to never listen to him but drivetime radio is awful and sometimes the dial lands on him. What is always consistent are the following:

1) Constant Trump cheerleading.

2) Constant reminders that he has a hotline to the Trump campaign

3) Daily reminders that he’s surrounded by ten foot tall bodyguards who shoot ninja throwing stars out of their asses and who are training him in the dark arts of the Samurai.

He doesn’t want to have to permanently disfigure you if you ask him a question in public but he clearly means to convey to his listeners that he can kill you seven different ways before you hit the ground.

He’s just warning you. He’s just warning you that you’re going to get hurt. And he doesn’t want to see that happen to you. Because that’s what’s going to happen, punk. You’re a little punk, you know that? You wanna say that to my face?

Don’t touch me!

4) But to all those naysayers, saying “nay” as they do, you can’t hurt him. He’s skin is tough as Hillary’s naughahyde pastrami flaps. Which is a little odd since he moisturizes twice daily with Chamonix and you should too! Karate man may bruise on the inside but his exterior is silky smooth thanks to Genucel and Dollar Shave Club’s Duck Butter.

5) Insert incessant recitals of what he imagines are devastating statistics that must be rolled out at least 10 times an hour (ex: the number of people out of the workforce, the #BLM protesters say to “fry pigs up like bacon”, ad nauseum) like some broken record payola DJ.

His act is older than Donald Trump’s next wife but the issue is that he is more in the tank than Dukakis.

If Fox wanted to maintain any semblance of of being fair and balanced, Hannity should be indefinitely suspended so that he can help Trump run for President.

Sure the establishment Republicans and conservatives (read: not the same people), who make up the 60+% of Republicans who did not support Trump in the primary, are keeping their distance but what’s the real reason for the Trump drop?

Maybe it’s because he’s been less concerned with running against Hillary Clinton than he has been about running against Republicans in Congress that he would need to enact what he’s campaigning on.

Maybe floating that he’s going to donate $20MM of his own money to launch a SuperPac to unseat Ted Cruz in 2018 (that’s over two years from now by the way for those counting on what a petty fucking asshole Trump intends to be) and Mike Lee or throwing elbows against insufferable and longstanding shitbirds like John McCain, Paul Ryan, and Kelly Ayotte or engaging in his mano-a-mano fight with Khizr Khan instead of having a surrogate do it is a little premature.

I haven’t seen anyone this needlessly self-destructive since Marty McFly got called chicken in “Back To The Future”.

Maybe it was Vice President Gingrich, oh excuse me, that didn’t happen. That same Gingrich who, Hannity heavily lobbied Trump to name as his VP, came out and said they needed to stage an intervention to save this maniac from himself last week. I guess Newter didn’t like being cast aside once Giuliani gave his kinda sorta stirring, raspy call-to-arms at the RNC convention and took his and Christie’s place as lead buttboy. Mike Pence is unavailable for comment since he appears to have gone into the Witness Relocation Program.

I expect no better from the thin-skinned, control freak, ADHD candidate with a complete inability to delegate since no one is as smart as he is, but if we want Trump to win then we’ve got to let Hannity strap on his helmet. Have him put his clipboard down and get him in the game, coach! I mean Boss, sir. Mr. Trump. My Liege.

Surely, you all can live without him for 11 weeks.

And just as an exit note, if you come out and say you’re “probably going to spend $20MM to setup a SuperPAC” against my candidate two years from now because you’re butthurt that he didn’t kiss your ass after you lied about him and his wife and father like a dog – you can, in fact, fuck off and die. You can’t say that Trump must respond to Khan because this offense cannot stand and not think Cruz has no right to stand against Trump for what he said about him.

You can. But you’re a hypocrite.

I didn’t #NeverTrump. Trump Never Me’d.

Scraping The Bottom Of The Victim Barrel

Just as a point of reference:

There are 5,896 self-identified Muslims currently serving in the military, according to the Department of Defense. This is out of a total of 1,313,940 active-duty and 826,106 guard and reserve members, respectively.

That is 0.275% of the military for those of you with a calculator.

Now, what percentage of that is active duty? 0.184% by the New York Times statistics.

What percent of that 0.184% have died in combat?

That answer is 14. Fort. Fucking. Teen. That is 0.23% of the already tiny sliver of enlisted Muslims who have made the ultimate sacrifice following 9/11.

I say this to raise two points:

1). What a happy miracle it was for Khzir Khan to find such a prominent place on the DNC stage and for the media’s seemingly ready-to-wear Semtex vest before patting him on the back on his way to Trump Force One.

0.184%. That is such an infinitesimal, micro-minority number for active duty. The % of Muslims that have died is a mere fraction of that. That number us 0.355% of active duty Muslims have died since 9/11.

You would have had to search with an electron microscope to find this victim. Yet, here he is with wall-to-wall coverage. Disgracing the memory of his son.

2) How many Muslims have died in combat compared to US soldiers fragged by Islamic infiltrators in our military? That is 1 person more than at Ft. Hood alone.

This nontroversy is a tempest in a thimble. And one more bit of contrived, divisive poison promulgated by the enemy within.

This is the thanks for liberating Kuwait, intervening in Kosovo, overthrowing the Taliban, toppling Hussein, sticking a knife up Qaddafi’s asshole, supporting the Muslim Brotherhood, tossing Israel under the bus, funding Hamas, bribing Iran, and backing the vaunted Arab Spring.

We’ve taken in twice the Muslim active duty in “Syrian refugees” alone in the last six months.

Thanks indeed. To the Muslim Community as a whole, thanks for less than nothing.

The Atheist Elephant In The Room

Wikileaks released their hacked DNC messages exposing an effort by some in the Clinton campaign planning on smearing Bernie Sanders as a, yuck, atheist:

The Democratic National Committee – a supposedly neutral organisation – apparently hatched a plan to try and undermine Bernie Sanders’ campaign against Hillary Clinton by getting someone to claim he was an atheist.

An email from May 2016 and sent from DNC CFO Brad Marshall suggested that they should “get someone to ask” Mr Sanders his views on religion.

“It might may no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist,” wrote Mr Marshall.

“This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist.”

Set aside the complete appearance of impropriety between the DNC and Clinton’s campaign colluding to take out a candidate which has already resulted in Debbie Wasserman Schulz getting the ugly old (heave) ho. Who thought they’d ever see the day that Democrats would smear one of their own as an atheist?

Hey Bernie, if you really are an atheist, just run as a Republican. They have no problem nominating an atheist Democrat for President.

Er, excuse me…a “Baby Christian” I mean.

Dobson was vague about the details of Trump’s supposed religious conversion, telling Anthony that while he knows the person responsible for “leading” Trump to Jesus, he would not name the person and couldn’t specify the time or place. “I don’t know when it was,” said Dobson, “but it has not been long.”

Who, I ask, who can doubt the sincerity of a Road To Cleveland conversion to Christianity after worshiping at the altar of money and mail order pussy for 70 years?

“CT: Every president has called upon God at some point. Lincoln spoke of not being able to hold the office of the presidency without spending time on his knees. You have confessed that you are a Christian…

DT: And I have also won much evangelical support.

CT: Yes, I know that. You have said you never felt the need to ask for God’s forgiveness, and yet repentance for one’s sins is a precondition to salvation. I ask you the question Jesus asked of Peter: Who do you say He is?

DT: I will be asking for forgiveness, but hopefully I won’t have to be asking for much forgiveness…

As Hillary Clinton would say, “sigh“.

The bar for calling oneself a Christian is already pretty low. Believe Jesus Christ is the son of God or in the Holy Trinity or whatever and acknowledge your sins / ask for forgiveness as there was only one perfect person and they died on a big “T” over 2 corinthians ago. Maybe get baptized. Living as a Christian obviously being more difficult than just calling yourself one because you hate awkwardness at dinner parties.

But ferchrissakes, does nobody else talk about the elephant in the room? Because I see Daniel Plainview’s confession.

For the record, any casual reader of this site would know that I’m an atheist. I have no problem with electing one. I do have a problem with fakers and frauds lying about what they are to ingratiate themselves with a key voting demographic.

But again, who am I to judge the man who has read the Bible more than anyone?

Oh, that’s right. I’m exactly the person to judge because I’m Judgey McFuckinJudgerson. All it takes is some intrepid reporter to tug at this thread for a second and his unmitigated hubris will not allow him to be humble before any fake God or man. Like those rubes. Believe me.

I’m going to need these before November.

Trumptards Face The Puppy Blender

It’s been kind of entertaining watching Insty veer to the right during the Obama years.

He’s sat out a lot of the feuding following his addition of a comments section especially during the Rise Of Trump. But this morning’s troll of Trump’s statement criticizing the US on civil rights as an excuse to not condemn Erdogan’s violent purge of the remaining secularists in Turkey is sure to produce 300 comments:

Well, it’s a standard lefty talking point — those tend to come, ultimately, from Soviet propagandists whether the talkers know it or not, and usually they don’t — and it’s one that’s been echoed by President Obama with his reminders to Americans not to get on our high horse (the Crusades, you know) and his disparaging of American exceptionalism.

The big news here is that a Republican candidate is saying it, but then, Trump spent most of his life as a Democrat.

He’s not just been a lifelong Democrat. He’s repeating Soviet propagandist talking points Democrats have been using for years. Perhaps some salt on that wound will help?

It’s ok though because Wall ™ and America’s going to be great again or something.

Reynolds isn’t wrong. It’s just odd that he’s deciding to take this tack so soon after the RNC convention given how many of his readers and commenters are still rolling around in the post-coital Cleveland cuddle puddle.

Cold Blooded Lizard Behaves As Expected

Whether it’s American families with relatives or children killed by illegal aliens or public assassinations of cops by his BLM supporters, you can always count on a cold-blooded and wholly inappropriate reaction from the Ayatollah.

The opposite was true of Bubba Clinton. He felt everyone’s pain so often that the country needed a restraining order. Mainly because that feeling always ended up with one of his hands on your upper thigh and the other one rubbing your back. The Consoler-In-Chief.

Well, we’ve moved to the other end of the spectrum a while back:

As news reports of a gun massacre in Munich crossed the Atlantic Ocean on Friday, the President of the United States was cracking jokes.

Barack Obama delivered a brief update to reporters at the White House about the still-unfolding shooting rampage that left the German city on lockdown.

Eight are confirmed dead, and 10 injured.

The president was speaking to law enforcement agents at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, adjacent to the White House. But as cameras rolled on the somber moment, Obama grinned and chuckled – and drew laughs from his audience – about his elder daughter Malia leaving the nest and heading for college.

If only those killed had been robbing a home, attacking a police officer, or a violent felon in the commission of a crime, Obama could dig down deep to come up with a statement about the sanctity of all life. But, once again, we have his fellows Muzzloids killing white people so it’s all grins and chuckles about how his spoiled brats are running off to join the top .0001% in a private college.

Wait till Malicious and Shasta start bringing white boys home. The smiles are going to get wiped away faster than the stories of the Orlando Pulse Shooting and Dallas Obama Cop Murders did off the front page. It’s been a week, ya know. We get Sandy Hook anniversary celebrations but these two Muzzloid terrorist events killed far more this month and aren’t even on the radar anymore.

Ooops…Spoke Too Soon

Update: The Mike Pence – Trump Hostage Video

I guess a cocksucker’s gotta cocksuck.

Turns out, I spoke too soon about being able to support Trump:

Trump said this morning that Cruz will “come and endorse over the next little while. It’s because he has no choice. But I don’t want his endorsement. What difference does it make?”

“Ted, just stay home, relax, enjoy yourself,” Trump said to laughter from the crowd of supporters and convention volunteers.

That would be delivered in his patented Smarmy Fuckface ™.

So, I’m glad we’re clear on this. I’ve gotten tired of Trumptards claiming that if you show inadequate enthusiasm for Hillary’s former benefactor that you are, in fact, supporting Hillary.

Now, I’m off the hook. My support and my vote is neither needed or wanted. Nor would it be accepted were it to be offered.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe all of those Bernie Bros, and Diamonds & Silks, and Progressive Peter Puffers are so disaffected that they are switching sides.

Either way, I’m free to kickback and watch this shithouse go up in flames.

Sweet Meteor of Death, deliver me from this twirling mudball of fucking retards.

Never Compromise. Not Even In The Face of Armageddon.

That’s always been the difference between us.

Watchmen is the most underrated, unappreciated, and overlooked of the superhero adaptation movies in the last decade.

I couldn’t help but think of that Rorschach quote watching Ted Cruz’s speech to a hall whose enthusiasm has been tepid, at best, over the last three days of the Republican convention. And anyone who has seen that movie knows how it ended for Rorschach when he refused to go along with the lie agreed upon:

I congratulate Donald Trump on winning the nomination last night,” Cruz said 20 seconds into his speech. He went on to add — in a line that wasn’t part of his prepared remarks — that, “like each of you, I want to see the principles that our party believes in prevail in November.

Was it the right place and the right time to do this? Probably not. When is the right time? After the general?

The main takeaway is not the lusty booing from the peanut gallery or fuming partisans who demanded Cruz grovel before their Dreamsicle colored deity.

The point is that Donald Trump had two months to make things right with Cruz after he threw every manufactured smear his bisexual swinger of a campaign manager could throw at him.

There was nothing “fair and square” about his victory.

He had two months and he chose not to close those ranks and tie up Cruz supporters because he’s an egomaniacal, petty tyrant incapable of humbling himself when he is clearly in the wrong.

Lyin’ Ted. The Cuban Mistress Crisis where Stone invented eight extramarital affairs out of whole cloth that has never been retracted. Calling Cruz’s wife ugly. Accusing Cruz’s father of helping Oswald assassinate JFK. The CubaCanadian non-citizen. Mr. GOPe Establishment bought and paid for by Goldman Sachs.

A private apology would have likely solved all of this but no. Cruz had no path to endorse Trump unless he sold out his principles and lose the respect of his supporters.

They all can’t be conservative stalwarts like Christie, Rubio, and Huckabee can they?

Good ole Lyin’ Ted broke his pledge. But let me ask you, if you pledge til death do you part and your wife becomes an adulterer or drains your bank account to zero, are you obligated to honor that till death vow?

Once again, the apoplectic Trumpettes at Free Republic and other sites reveal that they are neither conservatives or Christians but have been driven mad by eight years of Obama rubbing an ineffectual GOP’s noses in it. So much so that they viciously attack everyone incapable of ignoring the stretchmarks, excessive body hair, bird legs, tramp stamp,colostomy bag, and bacne of their would-be Emperor’s New Clothes.

So, will I vote for him? Probably. But my lack of a choice doesn’t make me see things in a man that are not there or ruin relationships with good people because they don’t share my desperation and delusion.

Pat Smith Ruined An Otherwise Lovely Evening Of Divisive Hate Speech

So says the same people who sucked Cindy Sheehan’s dick for five years:

Being the out-of-control pundit that he is, Matthews went as far as to rule that Smith’s speech soured the evening:

It’s manifestly not true she had anything to do in that case, even if all of the arguments about what she said afterwards or Susan Rice said afterwards on Meet the Press are true and anybody who thinks about it for a second knows it’s not true and I think it’s wrong that they ruined their evening with this.

There goes Sissy again. Quite a departure from several years ago when he asked Saint Cindy of the Ditch Diocese to run for Congress.

I’m so old that I can remember when the mother of a slain soldier was imbued with Absolute Moral Authority ™.

The Obama’s Open Hearts Update: A writer for GQ tweets that he doesn’t care how many kids Smith has lost and that he would like to beat her to death.

Followed quickly by a non-apology apology.

Sometime in the late 90s, GQ changed from Gentlemen’s Quarterly to Grouchy Queers. Violent leftwing political fantasies mixed together with homoerotic features on Justin Bieber’s surprisingly simple workout routine, the $15 accessory that just made Ryan Gosling’s suit, and the top ten most fabulous sunglasses you won’t dare lose this summer.

Gravitas, you pansy assed cock yodelers.